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<h2> CHAPTER 21. LITTLE EM’LY </h2>
<p>There was a servant in that house, a man who, I understood, was usually
with Steerforth, and had come into his service at the University, who was
in appearance a pattern of respectability. I believe there never existed
in his station a more respectable-looking man. He was taciturn,
soft-footed, very quiet in his manner, deferential, observant, always at
hand when wanted, and never near when not wanted; but his great claim to
consideration was his respectability. He had not a pliant face, he had
rather a stiff neck, rather a tight smooth head with short hair clinging
to it at the sides, a soft way of speaking, with a peculiar habit of
whispering the letter S so distinctly, that he seemed to use it oftener
than any other man; but every peculiarity that he had he made respectable.
If his nose had been upside-down, he would have made that respectable. He
surrounded himself with an atmosphere of respectability, and walked secure
in it. It would have been next to impossible to suspect him of anything
wrong, he was so thoroughly respectable. Nobody could have thought of
putting him in a livery, he was so highly respectable. To have imposed any
derogatory work upon him, would have been to inflict a wanton insult on
the feelings of a most respectable man. And of this, I noticed—the
women-servants in the household were so intuitively conscious, that they
always did such work themselves, and generally while he read the paper by
the pantry fire.</p>
<p>Such a self-contained man I never saw. But in that quality, as in every
other he possessed, he only seemed to be the more respectable. Even the
fact that no one knew his Christian name, seemed to form a part of his
respectability. Nothing could be objected against his surname, Littimer,
by which he was known. Peter might have been hanged, or Tom transported;
but Littimer was perfectly respectable.</p>
<p>It was occasioned, I suppose, by the reverend nature of respectability in
the abstract, but I felt particularly young in this man’s presence. How
old he was himself, I could not guess—and that again went to his
credit on the same score; for in the calmness of respectability he might
have numbered fifty years as well as thirty.</p>
<p>Littimer was in my room in the morning before I was up, to bring me that
reproachful shaving-water, and to put out my clothes. When I undrew the
curtains and looked out of bed, I saw him, in an equable temperature of
respectability, unaffected by the east wind of January, and not even
breathing frostily, standing my boots right and left in the first dancing
position, and blowing specks of dust off my coat as he laid it down like a
baby.</p>
<p>I gave him good morning, and asked him what o’clock it was. He took out of
his pocket the most respectable hunting-watch I ever saw, and preventing
the spring with his thumb from opening far, looked in at the face as if he
were consulting an oracular oyster, shut it up again, and said, if I
pleased, it was half past eight.</p>
<p>‘Mr. Steerforth will be glad to hear how you have rested, sir.’</p>
<p>‘Thank you,’ said I, ‘very well indeed. Is Mr. Steerforth quite well?’</p>
<p>‘Thank you, sir, Mr. Steerforth is tolerably well.’ Another of his
characteristics—no use of superlatives. A cool calm medium always.</p>
<p>‘Is there anything more I can have the honour of doing for you, sir? The
warning-bell will ring at nine; the family take breakfast at half past
nine.’</p>
<p>‘Nothing, I thank you.’</p>
<p>‘I thank YOU, sir, if you please’; and with that, and with a little
inclination of his head when he passed the bed-side, as an apology for
correcting me, he went out, shutting the door as delicately as if I had
just fallen into a sweet sleep on which my life depended.</p>
<p>Every morning we held exactly this conversation: never any more, and never
any less: and yet, invariably, however far I might have been lifted out of
myself over-night, and advanced towards maturer years, by Steerforth’s
companionship, or Mrs. Steerforth’s confidence, or Miss Dartle’s
conversation, in the presence of this most respectable man I became, as
our smaller poets sing, ‘a boy again’.</p>
<p>He got horses for us; and Steerforth, who knew everything, gave me lessons
in riding. He provided foils for us, and Steerforth gave me lessons in
fencing—gloves, and I began, of the same master, to improve in
boxing. It gave me no manner of concern that Steerforth should find me a
novice in these sciences, but I never could bear to show my want of skill
before the respectable Littimer. I had no reason to believe that Littimer
understood such arts himself; he never led me to suppose anything of the
kind, by so much as the vibration of one of his respectable eyelashes; yet
whenever he was by, while we were practising, I felt myself the greenest
and most inexperienced of mortals.</p>
<p>I am particular about this man, because he made a particular effect on me
at that time, and because of what took place thereafter.</p>
<p>The week passed away in a most delightful manner. It passed rapidly, as
may be supposed, to one entranced as I was; and yet it gave me so many
occasions for knowing Steerforth better, and admiring him more in a
thousand respects, that at its close I seemed to have been with him for a
much longer time. A dashing way he had of treating me like a plaything,
was more agreeable to me than any behaviour he could have adopted. It
reminded me of our old acquaintance; it seemed the natural sequel of it;
it showed me that he was unchanged; it relieved me of any uneasiness I
might have felt, in comparing my merits with his, and measuring my claims
upon his friendship by any equal standard; above all, it was a familiar,
unrestrained, affectionate demeanour that he used towards no one else. As
he had treated me at school differently from all the rest, I joyfully
believed that he treated me in life unlike any other friend he had. I
believed that I was nearer to his heart than any other friend, and my own
heart warmed with attachment to him. He made up his mind to go with me
into the country, and the day arrived for our departure. He had been
doubtful at first whether to take Littimer or not, but decided to leave
him at home. The respectable creature, satisfied with his lot whatever it
was, arranged our portmanteaux on the little carriage that was to take us
into London, as if they were intended to defy the shocks of ages, and
received my modestly proffered donation with perfect tranquillity.</p>
<p>We bade adieu to Mrs. Steerforth and Miss Dartle, with many thanks on my
part, and much kindness on the devoted mother’s. The last thing I saw was
Littimer’s unruffled eye; fraught, as I fancied, with the silent
conviction that I was very young indeed.</p>
<p>What I felt, in returning so auspiciously to the old familiar places, I
shall not endeavour to describe. We went down by the Mail. I was so
concerned, I recollect, even for the honour of Yarmouth, that when
Steerforth said, as we drove through its dark streets to the inn, that, as
well as he could make out, it was a good, queer, out-of-the-way kind of
hole, I was highly pleased. We went to bed on our arrival (I observed a
pair of dirty shoes and gaiters in connexion with my old friend the
Dolphin as we passed that door), and breakfasted late in the morning.
Steerforth, who was in great spirits, had been strolling about the beach
before I was up, and had made acquaintance, he said, with half the boatmen
in the place. Moreover, he had seen, in the distance, what he was sure
must be the identical house of Mr. Peggotty, with smoke coming out of the
chimney; and had had a great mind, he told me, to walk in and swear he was
myself grown out of knowledge.</p>
<p>‘When do you propose to introduce me there, Daisy?’ he said. ‘I am at your
disposal. Make your own arrangements.’</p>
<p>‘Why, I was thinking that this evening would be a good time, Steerforth,
when they are all sitting round the fire. I should like you to see it when
it’s snug, it’s such a curious place.’</p>
<p>‘So be it!’ returned Steerforth. ‘This evening.’</p>
<p>‘I shall not give them any notice that we are here, you know,’ said I,
delighted. ‘We must take them by surprise.’</p>
<p>‘Oh, of course! It’s no fun,’ said Steerforth, ‘unless we take them by
surprise. Let us see the natives in their aboriginal condition.’</p>
<p>‘Though they ARE that sort of people that you mentioned,’ I returned.</p>
<p>‘Aha! What! you recollect my skirmishes with Rosa, do you?’ he exclaimed
with a quick look. ‘Confound the girl, I am half afraid of her. She’s like
a goblin to me. But never mind her. Now what are you going to do? You are
going to see your nurse, I suppose?’</p>
<p>‘Why, yes,’ I said, ‘I must see Peggotty first of all.’</p>
<p>‘Well,’ replied Steerforth, looking at his watch. ‘Suppose I deliver you
up to be cried over for a couple of hours. Is that long enough?’</p>
<p>I answered, laughing, that I thought we might get through it in that time,
but that he must come also; for he would find that his renown had preceded
him, and that he was almost as great a personage as I was.</p>
<p>‘I’ll come anywhere you like,’ said Steerforth, ‘or do anything you like.
Tell me where to come to; and in two hours I’ll produce myself in any
state you please, sentimental or comical.’</p>
<p>I gave him minute directions for finding the residence of Mr. Barkis,
carrier to Blunderstone and elsewhere; and, on this understanding, went
out alone. There was a sharp bracing air; the ground was dry; the sea was
crisp and clear; the sun was diffusing abundance of light, if not much
warmth; and everything was fresh and lively. I was so fresh and lively
myself, in the pleasure of being there, that I could have stopped the
people in the streets and shaken hands with them.</p>
<p>The streets looked small, of course. The streets that we have only seen as
children always do, I believe, when we go back to them. But I had
forgotten nothing in them, and found nothing changed, until I came to Mr.
Omer’s shop. OMER AND Joram was now written up, where OMER used to be; but
the inscription, DRAPER, TAILOR, HABERDASHER, FUNERAL FURNISHER, &c.,
remained as it was.</p>
<p>My footsteps seemed to tend so naturally to the shop door, after I had
read these words from over the way, that I went across the road and looked
in. There was a pretty woman at the back of the shop, dancing a little
child in her arms, while another little fellow clung to her apron. I had
no difficulty in recognizing either Minnie or Minnie’s children. The glass
door of the parlour was not open; but in the workshop across the yard I
could faintly hear the old tune playing, as if it had never left off.</p>
<p>‘Is Mr. Omer at home?’ said I, entering. ‘I should like to see him, for a
moment, if he is.’</p>
<p>‘Oh yes, sir, he is at home,’ said Minnie; ‘the weather don’t suit his
asthma out of doors. Joe, call your grandfather!’</p>
<p>The little fellow, who was holding her apron, gave such a lusty shout,
that the sound of it made him bashful, and he buried his face in her
skirts, to her great admiration. I heard a heavy puffing and blowing
coming towards us, and soon Mr. Omer, shorter-winded than of yore, but not
much older-looking, stood before me.</p>
<p>‘Servant, sir,’ said Mr. Omer. ‘What can I do for you, sir?’ ‘You can
shake hands with me, Mr. Omer, if you please,’ said I, putting out my own.
‘You were very good-natured to me once, when I am afraid I didn’t show
that I thought so.’</p>
<p>‘Was I though?’ returned the old man. ‘I’m glad to hear it, but I don’t
remember when. Are you sure it was me?’</p>
<p>‘Quite.’</p>
<p>‘I think my memory has got as short as my breath,’ said Mr. Omer, looking
at me and shaking his head; ‘for I don’t remember you.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t you remember your coming to the coach to meet me, and my having
breakfast here, and our riding out to Blunderstone together: you, and I,
and Mrs. Joram, and Mr. Joram too—who wasn’t her husband then?’</p>
<p>‘Why, Lord bless my soul!’ exclaimed Mr. Omer, after being thrown by his
surprise into a fit of coughing, ‘you don’t say so! Minnie, my dear, you
recollect? Dear me, yes; the party was a lady, I think?’</p>
<p>‘My mother,’ I rejoined.</p>
<p>‘To—be—sure,’ said Mr. Omer, touching my waistcoat with his
forefinger, ‘and there was a little child too! There was two parties. The
little party was laid along with the other party. Over at Blunderstone it
was, of course. Dear me! And how have you been since?’</p>
<p>Very well, I thanked him, as I hoped he had been too.</p>
<p>‘Oh! nothing to grumble at, you know,’ said Mr. Omer. ‘I find my breath
gets short, but it seldom gets longer as a man gets older. I take it as it
comes, and make the most of it. That’s the best way, ain’t it?’</p>
<p>Mr. Omer coughed again, in consequence of laughing, and was assisted out
of his fit by his daughter, who now stood close beside us, dancing her
smallest child on the counter.</p>
<p>‘Dear me!’ said Mr. Omer. ‘Yes, to be sure. Two parties! Why, in that very
ride, if you’ll believe me, the day was named for my Minnie to marry
Joram. “Do name it, sir,” says Joram. “Yes, do, father,” says Minnie. And
now he’s come into the business. And look here! The youngest!’</p>
<p>Minnie laughed, and stroked her banded hair upon her temples, as her
father put one of his fat fingers into the hand of the child she was
dancing on the counter.</p>
<p>‘Two parties, of course!’ said Mr. Omer, nodding his head retrospectively.
‘Ex-actly so! And Joram’s at work, at this minute, on a grey one with
silver nails, not this measurement’—the measurement of the dancing
child upon the counter—‘by a good two inches.—-Will you take
something?’</p>
<p>I thanked him, but declined.</p>
<p>‘Let me see,’ said Mr. Omer. ‘Barkis’s the carrier’s wife—Peggotty’s
the boatman’s sister—she had something to do with your family? She
was in service there, sure?’</p>
<p>My answering in the affirmative gave him great satisfaction.</p>
<p>‘I believe my breath will get long next, my memory’s getting so much so,’
said Mr. Omer. ‘Well, sir, we’ve got a young relation of hers here, under
articles to us, that has as elegant a taste in the dress-making business—I
assure you I don’t believe there’s a Duchess in England can touch her.’</p>
<p>‘Not little Em’ly?’ said I, involuntarily.</p>
<p>‘Em’ly’s her name,’ said Mr. Omer, ‘and she’s little too. But if you’ll
believe me, she has such a face of her own that half the women in this
town are mad against her.’</p>
<p>‘Nonsense, father!’ cried Minnie.</p>
<p>‘My dear,’ said Mr. Omer, ‘I don’t say it’s the case with you,’ winking at
me, ‘but I say that half the women in Yarmouth—ah! and in five mile
round—are mad against that girl.’</p>
<p>‘Then she should have kept to her own station in life, father,’ said
Minnie, ‘and not have given them any hold to talk about her, and then they
couldn’t have done it.’</p>
<p>‘Couldn’t have done it, my dear!’ retorted Mr. Omer. ‘Couldn’t have done
it! Is that YOUR knowledge of life? What is there that any woman couldn’t
do, that she shouldn’t do—especially on the subject of another
woman’s good looks?’</p>
<p>I really thought it was all over with Mr. Omer, after he had uttered this
libellous pleasantry. He coughed to that extent, and his breath eluded all
his attempts to recover it with that obstinacy, that I fully expected to
see his head go down behind the counter, and his little black breeches,
with the rusty little bunches of ribbons at the knees, come quivering up
in a last ineffectual struggle. At length, however, he got better, though
he still panted hard, and was so exhausted that he was obliged to sit on
the stool of the shop-desk.</p>
<p>‘You see,’ he said, wiping his head, and breathing with difficulty, ‘she
hasn’t taken much to any companions here; she hasn’t taken kindly to any
particular acquaintances and friends, not to mention sweethearts. In
consequence, an ill-natured story got about, that Em’ly wanted to be a
lady. Now my opinion is, that it came into circulation principally on
account of her sometimes saying, at the school, that if she was a lady she
would like to do so-and-so for her uncle—don’t you see?—and
buy him such-and-such fine things.’</p>
<p>‘I assure you, Mr. Omer, she has said so to me,’ I returned eagerly, ‘when
we were both children.’</p>
<p>Mr. Omer nodded his head and rubbed his chin. ‘Just so. Then out of a very
little, she could dress herself, you see, better than most others could
out of a deal, and that made things unpleasant. Moreover, she was rather
what might be called wayward—I’ll go so far as to say what I should
call wayward myself,’ said Mr. Omer; ‘didn’t know her own mind quite—a
little spoiled—and couldn’t, at first, exactly bind herself down. No
more than that was ever said against her, Minnie?’</p>
<p>‘No, father,’ said Mrs. Joram. ‘That’s the worst, I believe.’</p>
<p>‘So when she got a situation,’ said Mr. Omer, ‘to keep a fractious old
lady company, they didn’t very well agree, and she didn’t stop. At last
she came here, apprenticed for three years. Nearly two of ‘em are over,
and she has been as good a girl as ever was. Worth any six! Minnie, is she
worth any six, now?’</p>
<p>‘Yes, father,’ replied Minnie. ‘Never say I detracted from her!’</p>
<p>‘Very good,’ said Mr. Omer. ‘That’s right. And so, young gentleman,’ he
added, after a few moments’ further rubbing of his chin, ‘that you may not
consider me long-winded as well as short-breathed, I believe that’s all
about it.’</p>
<p>As they had spoken in a subdued tone, while speaking of Em’ly, I had no
doubt that she was near. On my asking now, if that were not so, Mr. Omer
nodded yes, and nodded towards the door of the parlour. My hurried inquiry
if I might peep in, was answered with a free permission; and, looking
through the glass, I saw her sitting at her work. I saw her, a most
beautiful little creature, with the cloudless blue eyes, that had looked
into my childish heart, turned laughingly upon another child of Minnie’s
who was playing near her; with enough of wilfulness in her bright face to
justify what I had heard; with much of the old capricious coyness lurking
in it; but with nothing in her pretty looks, I am sure, but what was meant
for goodness and for happiness, and what was on a good and happy course.</p>
<p>The tune across the yard that seemed as if it never had left off—alas!
it was the tune that never DOES leave off—was beating, softly, all
the while.</p>
<p>‘Wouldn’t you like to step in,’ said Mr. Omer, ‘and speak to her? Walk in
and speak to her, sir! Make yourself at home!’</p>
<p>I was too bashful to do so then—I was afraid of confusing her, and I
was no less afraid of confusing myself.—but I informed myself of the
hour at which she left of an evening, in order that our visit might be
timed accordingly; and taking leave of Mr. Omer, and his pretty daughter,
and her little children, went away to my dear old Peggotty’s.</p>
<p>Here she was, in the tiled kitchen, cooking dinner! The moment I knocked
at the door she opened it, and asked me what I pleased to want. I looked
at her with a smile, but she gave me no smile in return. I had never
ceased to write to her, but it must have been seven years since we had
met.</p>
<p>‘Is Mr. Barkis at home, ma’am?’ I said, feigning to speak roughly to her.</p>
<p>‘He’s at home, sir,’ returned Peggotty, ‘but he’s bad abed with the
rheumatics.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t he go over to Blunderstone now?’ I asked.</p>
<p>‘When he’s well he do,’ she answered.</p>
<p>‘Do YOU ever go there, Mrs. Barkis?’</p>
<p>She looked at me more attentively, and I noticed a quick movement of her
hands towards each other.</p>
<p>‘Because I want to ask a question about a house there, that they call the—what
is it?—the Rookery,’ said I.</p>
<p>She took a step backward, and put out her hands in an undecided frightened
way, as if to keep me off.</p>
<p>‘Peggotty!’ I cried to her.</p>
<p>She cried, ‘My darling boy!’ and we both burst into tears, and were locked
in one another’s arms.</p>
<p>What extravagances she committed; what laughing and crying over me; what
pride she showed, what joy, what sorrow that she whose pride and joy I
might have been, could never hold me in a fond embrace; I have not the
heart to tell. I was troubled with no misgiving that it was young in me to
respond to her emotions. I had never laughed and cried in all my life, I
dare say—not even to her—more freely than I did that morning.</p>
<p>‘Barkis will be so glad,’ said Peggotty, wiping her eyes with her apron,
‘that it’ll do him more good than pints of liniment. May I go and tell him
you are here? Will you come up and see him, my dear?’</p>
<p>Of course I would. But Peggotty could not get out of the room as easily as
she meant to, for as often as she got to the door and looked round at me,
she came back again to have another laugh and another cry upon my
shoulder. At last, to make the matter easier, I went upstairs with her;
and having waited outside for a minute, while she said a word of
preparation to Mr. Barkis, presented myself before that invalid.</p>
<p>He received me with absolute enthusiasm. He was too rheumatic to be shaken
hands with, but he begged me to shake the tassel on the top of his
nightcap, which I did most cordially. When I sat down by the side of the
bed, he said that it did him a world of good to feel as if he was driving
me on the Blunderstone road again. As he lay in bed, face upward, and so
covered, with that exception, that he seemed to be nothing but a face—like
a conventional cherubim—he looked the queerest object I ever beheld.</p>
<p>‘What name was it, as I wrote up in the cart, sir?’ said Mr. Barkis, with
a slow rheumatic smile.</p>
<p>‘Ah! Mr. Barkis, we had some grave talks about that matter, hadn’t we?’</p>
<p>‘I was willin’ a long time, sir?’ said Mr. Barkis.</p>
<p>‘A long time,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘And I don’t regret it,’ said Mr. Barkis. ‘Do you remember what you told
me once, about her making all the apple parsties and doing all the
cooking?’</p>
<p>‘Yes, very well,’ I returned.</p>
<p>‘It was as true,’ said Mr. Barkis, ‘as turnips is. It was as true,’ said
Mr. Barkis, nodding his nightcap, which was his only means of emphasis,
‘as taxes is. And nothing’s truer than them.’</p>
<p>Mr. Barkis turned his eyes upon me, as if for my assent to this result of
his reflections in bed; and I gave it.</p>
<p>‘Nothing’s truer than them,’ repeated Mr. Barkis; ‘a man as poor as I am,
finds that out in his mind when he’s laid up. I’m a very poor man, sir!’</p>
<p>‘I am sorry to hear it, Mr. Barkis.’</p>
<p>‘A very poor man, indeed I am,’ said Mr. Barkis.</p>
<p>Here his right hand came slowly and feebly from under the bedclothes, and
with a purposeless uncertain grasp took hold of a stick which was loosely
tied to the side of the bed. After some poking about with this instrument,
in the course of which his face assumed a variety of distracted
expressions, Mr. Barkis poked it against a box, an end of which had been
visible to me all the time. Then his face became composed.</p>
<p>‘Old clothes,’ said Mr. Barkis.</p>
<p>‘Oh!’ said I.</p>
<p>‘I wish it was Money, sir,’ said Mr. Barkis.</p>
<p>‘I wish it was, indeed,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘But it AIN’T,’ said Mr. Barkis, opening both his eyes as wide as he
possibly could.</p>
<p>I expressed myself quite sure of that, and Mr. Barkis, turning his eyes
more gently to his wife, said:</p>
<p>‘She’s the usefullest and best of women, C. P. Barkis. All the praise that
anyone can give to C. P. Barkis, she deserves, and more! My dear, you’ll
get a dinner today, for company; something good to eat and drink, will
you?’</p>
<p>I should have protested against this unnecessary demonstration in my
honour, but that I saw Peggotty, on the opposite side of the bed,
extremely anxious I should not. So I held my peace.</p>
<p>‘I have got a trifle of money somewhere about me, my dear,’ said Mr.
Barkis, ‘but I’m a little tired. If you and Mr. David will leave me for a
short nap, I’ll try and find it when I wake.’</p>
<p>We left the room, in compliance with this request. When we got outside the
door, Peggotty informed me that Mr. Barkis, being now ‘a little nearer’
than he used to be, always resorted to this same device before producing a
single coin from his store; and that he endured unheard-of agonies in
crawling out of bed alone, and taking it from that unlucky box. In effect,
we presently heard him uttering suppressed groans of the most dismal
nature, as this magpie proceeding racked him in every joint; but while
Peggotty’s eyes were full of compassion for him, she said his generous
impulse would do him good, and it was better not to check it. So he
groaned on, until he had got into bed again, suffering, I have no doubt, a
martyrdom; and then called us in, pretending to have just woke up from a
refreshing sleep, and to produce a guinea from under his pillow. His
satisfaction in which happy imposition on us, and in having preserved the
impenetrable secret of the box, appeared to be a sufficient compensation
to him for all his tortures.</p>
<p>I prepared Peggotty for Steerforth’s arrival and it was not long before he
came. I am persuaded she knew no difference between his having been a
personal benefactor of hers, and a kind friend to me, and that she would
have received him with the utmost gratitude and devotion in any case. But
his easy, spirited good humour; his genial manner, his handsome looks, his
natural gift of adapting himself to whomsoever he pleased, and making
direct, when he cared to do it, to the main point of interest in anybody’s
heart; bound her to him wholly in five minutes. His manner to me, alone,
would have won her. But, through all these causes combined, I sincerely
believe she had a kind of adoration for him before he left the house that
night.</p>
<p>He stayed there with me to dinner—if I were to say willingly, I
should not half express how readily and gaily. He went into Mr. Barkis’s
room like light and air, brightening and refreshing it as if he were
healthy weather. There was no noise, no effort, no consciousness, in
anything he did; but in everything an indescribable lightness, a seeming
impossibility of doing anything else, or doing anything better, which was
so graceful, so natural, and agreeable, that it overcomes me, even now, in
the remembrance.</p>
<p>We made merry in the little parlour, where the Book of Martyrs, unthumbed
since my time, was laid out upon the desk as of old, and where I now
turned over its terrific pictures, remembering the old sensations they had
awakened, but not feeling them. When Peggotty spoke of what she called my
room, and of its being ready for me at night, and of her hoping I would
occupy it, before I could so much as look at Steerforth, hesitating, he
was possessed of the whole case.</p>
<p>‘Of course,’ he said. ‘You’ll sleep here, while we stay, and I shall sleep
at the hotel.’</p>
<p>‘But to bring you so far,’ I returned, ‘and to separate, seems bad
companionship, Steerforth.’</p>
<p>‘Why, in the name of Heaven, where do you naturally belong?’ he said.
‘What is “seems”, compared to that?’ It was settled at once.</p>
<p>He maintained all his delightful qualities to the last, until we started
forth, at eight o’clock, for Mr. Peggotty’s boat. Indeed, they were more
and more brightly exhibited as the hours went on; for I thought even then,
and I have no doubt now, that the consciousness of success in his
determination to please, inspired him with a new delicacy of perception,
and made it, subtle as it was, more easy to him. If anyone had told me,
then, that all this was a brilliant game, played for the excitement of the
moment, for the employment of high spirits, in the thoughtless love of
superiority, in a mere wasteful careless course of winning what was
worthless to him, and next minute thrown away—I say, if anyone had
told me such a lie that night, I wonder in what manner of receiving it my
indignation would have found a vent! Probably only in an increase, had
that been possible, of the romantic feelings of fidelity and friendship
with which I walked beside him, over the dark wintry sands towards the old
boat; the wind sighing around us even more mournfully, than it had sighed
and moaned upon the night when I first darkened Mr. Peggotty’s door.</p>
<p>‘This is a wild kind of place, Steerforth, is it not?’</p>
<p>‘Dismal enough in the dark,’ he said: ‘and the sea roars as if it were
hungry for us. Is that the boat, where I see a light yonder?’ ‘That’s the
boat,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘And it’s the same I saw this morning,’ he returned. ‘I came straight to
it, by instinct, I suppose.’</p>
<p>We said no more as we approached the light, but made softly for the door.
I laid my hand upon the latch; and whispering Steerforth to keep close to
me, went in.</p>
<p>A murmur of voices had been audible on the outside, and, at the moment of
our entrance, a clapping of hands: which latter noise, I was surprised to
see, proceeded from the generally disconsolate Mrs. Gummidge. But Mrs.
Gummidge was not the only person there who was unusually excited. Mr.
Peggotty, his face lighted up with uncommon satisfaction, and laughing
with all his might, held his rough arms wide open, as if for little Em’ly
to run into them; Ham, with a mixed expression in his face of admiration,
exultation, and a lumbering sort of bashfulness that sat upon him very
well, held little Em’ly by the hand, as if he were presenting her to Mr.
Peggotty; little Em’ly herself, blushing and shy, but delighted with Mr.
Peggotty’s delight, as her joyous eyes expressed, was stopped by our
entrance (for she saw us first) in the very act of springing from Ham to
nestle in Mr. Peggotty’s embrace. In the first glimpse we had of them all,
and at the moment of our passing from the dark cold night into the warm
light room, this was the way in which they were all employed: Mrs.
Gummidge in the background, clapping her hands like a madwoman.</p>
<p>The little picture was so instantaneously dissolved by our going in, that
one might have doubted whether it had ever been. I was in the midst of the
astonished family, face to face with Mr. Peggotty, and holding out my hand
to him, when Ham shouted:</p>
<p>‘Mas’r Davy! It’s Mas’r Davy!’</p>
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<p>In a moment we were all shaking hands with one another, and asking one
another how we did, and telling one another how glad we were to meet, and
all talking at once. Mr. Peggotty was so proud and overjoyed to see us,
that he did not know what to say or do, but kept over and over again
shaking hands with me, and then with Steerforth, and then with me, and
then ruffling his shaggy hair all over his head, and laughing with such
glee and triumph, that it was a treat to see him.</p>
<p>‘Why, that you two gent’lmen—gent’lmen growed—should come to
this here roof tonight, of all nights in my life,’ said Mr. Peggotty, ‘is
such a thing as never happened afore, I do rightly believe! Em’ly, my
darling, come here! Come here, my little witch! There’s Mas’r Davy’s
friend, my dear! There’s the gent’lman as you’ve heerd on, Em’ly. He comes
to see you, along with Mas’r Davy, on the brightest night of your uncle’s
life as ever was or will be, Gorm the t’other one, and horroar for it!’</p>
<p>After delivering this speech all in a breath, and with extraordinary
animation and pleasure, Mr. Peggotty put one of his large hands
rapturously on each side of his niece’s face, and kissing it a dozen
times, laid it with a gentle pride and love upon his broad chest, and
patted it as if his hand had been a lady’s. Then he let her go; and as she
ran into the little chamber where I used to sleep, looked round upon us,
quite hot and out of breath with his uncommon satisfaction.</p>
<p>‘If you two gent’lmen—gent’lmen growed now, and such gent’lmen—’
said Mr. Peggotty.</p>
<p>‘So th’ are, so th’ are!’ cried Ham. ‘Well said! So th’ are. Mas’r Davy
bor’—gent’lmen growed—so th’ are!’</p>
<p>‘If you two gent’lmen, gent’lmen growed,’ said Mr. Peggotty, ‘don’t
ex-cuse me for being in a state of mind, when you understand matters, I’ll
arks your pardon. Em’ly, my dear!—She knows I’m a going to tell,’
here his delight broke out again, ‘and has made off. Would you be so good
as look arter her, Mawther, for a minute?’</p>
<p>Mrs. Gummidge nodded and disappeared.</p>
<p>‘If this ain’t,’ said Mr. Peggotty, sitting down among us by the fire,
‘the brightest night o’ my life, I’m a shellfish—biled too—and
more I can’t say. This here little Em’ly, sir,’ in a low voice to
Steerforth, ‘—her as you see a blushing here just now—’</p>
<p>Steerforth only nodded; but with such a pleased expression of interest,
and of participation in Mr. Peggotty’s feelings, that the latter answered
him as if he had spoken.</p>
<p>‘To be sure,’ said Mr. Peggotty. ‘That’s her, and so she is. Thankee,
sir.’</p>
<p>Ham nodded to me several times, as if he would have said so too.</p>
<p>‘This here little Em’ly of ours,’ said Mr. Peggotty, ‘has been, in our
house, what I suppose (I’m a ignorant man, but that’s my belief) no one
but a little bright-eyed creetur can be in a house. She ain’t my child; I
never had one; but I couldn’t love her more. You understand! I couldn’t do
it!’</p>
<p>‘I quite understand,’ said Steerforth.</p>
<p>‘I know you do, sir,’ returned Mr. Peggotty, ‘and thankee again. Mas’r
Davy, he can remember what she was; you may judge for your own self what
she is; but neither of you can’t fully know what she has been, is, and
will be, to my loving art. I am rough, sir,’ said Mr. Peggotty, ‘I am as
rough as a Sea Porkypine; but no one, unless, mayhap, it is a woman, can
know, I think, what our little Em’ly is to me. And betwixt ourselves,’
sinking his voice lower yet, ‘that woman’s name ain’t Missis Gummidge
neither, though she has a world of merits.’ Mr. Peggotty ruffled his hair
again, with both hands, as a further preparation for what he was going to
say, and went on, with a hand upon each of his knees:</p>
<p>‘There was a certain person as had know’d our Em’ly, from the time when
her father was drownded; as had seen her constant; when a babby, when a
young gal, when a woman. Not much of a person to look at, he warn’t,’ said
Mr. Peggotty, ‘something o’ my own build—rough—a good deal o’
the sou’-wester in him—wery salt—but, on the whole, a honest
sort of a chap, with his art in the right place.’</p>
<p>I thought I had never seen Ham grin to anything like the extent to which
he sat grinning at us now.</p>
<p>‘What does this here blessed tarpaulin go and do,’ said Mr. Peggotty, with
his face one high noon of enjoyment, ‘but he loses that there art of his
to our little Em’ly. He follers her about, he makes hisself a sort o’
servant to her, he loses in a great measure his relish for his wittles,
and in the long-run he makes it clear to me wot’s amiss. Now I could wish
myself, you see, that our little Em’ly was in a fair way of being married.
I could wish to see her, at all ewents, under articles to a honest man as
had a right to defend her. I don’t know how long I may live, or how soon I
may die; but I know that if I was capsized, any night, in a gale of wind
in Yarmouth Roads here, and was to see the town-lights shining for the
last time over the rollers as I couldn’t make no head against, I could go
down quieter for thinking “There’s a man ashore there, iron-true to my
little Em’ly, God bless her, and no wrong can touch my Em’ly while so be
as that man lives.”’</p>
<p>Mr. Peggotty, in simple earnestness, waved his right arm, as if he were
waving it at the town-lights for the last time, and then, exchanging a nod
with Ham, whose eye he caught, proceeded as before.</p>
<p>‘Well! I counsels him to speak to Em’ly. He’s big enough, but he’s
bashfuller than a little un, and he don’t like. So I speak. “What! Him!”
says Em’ly. “Him that I’ve know’d so intimate so many years, and like so
much. Oh, Uncle! I never can have him. He’s such a good fellow!” I gives
her a kiss, and I says no more to her than, “My dear, you’re right to
speak out, you’re to choose for yourself, you’re as free as a little
bird.” Then I aways to him, and I says, “I wish it could have been so, but
it can’t. But you can both be as you was, and wot I say to you is, Be as
you was with her, like a man.” He says to me, a-shaking of my hand, “I
will!” he says. And he was—honourable and manful—for two year
going on, and we was just the same at home here as afore.’</p>
<p>Mr. Peggotty’s face, which had varied in its expression with the various
stages of his narrative, now resumed all its former triumphant delight, as
he laid a hand upon my knee and a hand upon Steerforth’s (previously
wetting them both, for the greater emphasis of the action), and divided
the following speech between us:</p>
<p>‘All of a sudden, one evening—as it might be tonight—comes
little Em’ly from her work, and him with her! There ain’t so much in that,
you’ll say. No, because he takes care on her, like a brother, arter dark,
and indeed afore dark, and at all times. But this tarpaulin chap, he takes
hold of her hand, and he cries out to me, joyful, “Look here! This is to
be my little wife!” And she says, half bold and half shy, and half a
laughing and half a crying, “Yes, Uncle! If you please.”—If I
please!’ cried Mr. Peggotty, rolling his head in an ecstasy at the idea;
‘Lord, as if I should do anythink else!—“If you please, I am
steadier now, and I have thought better of it, and I’ll be as good a
little wife as I can to him, for he’s a dear, good fellow!” Then Missis
Gummidge, she claps her hands like a play, and you come in. Theer! the
murder’s out!’ said Mr. Peggotty—‘You come in! It took place this
here present hour; and here’s the man that’ll marry her, the minute she’s
out of her time.’</p>
<p>Ham staggered, as well he might, under the blow Mr. Peggotty dealt him in
his unbounded joy, as a mark of confidence and friendship; but feeling
called upon to say something to us, he said, with much faltering and great
difficulty:</p>
<p>‘She warn’t no higher than you was, Mas’r Davy—when you first come—when
I thought what she’d grow up to be. I see her grown up—gent’lmen—like
a flower. I’d lay down my life for her—Mas’r Davy—Oh! most
content and cheerful! She’s more to me—gent’lmen—than—she’s
all to me that ever I can want, and more than ever I—than ever I
could say. I—I love her true. There ain’t a gent’lman in all the
land—nor yet sailing upon all the sea—that can love his lady
more than I love her, though there’s many a common man—would say
better—what he meant.’</p>
<p>I thought it affecting to see such a sturdy fellow as Ham was now,
trembling in the strength of what he felt for the pretty little creature
who had won his heart. I thought the simple confidence reposed in us by
Mr. Peggotty and by himself, was, in itself, affecting. I was affected by
the story altogether. How far my emotions were influenced by the
recollections of my childhood, I don’t know. Whether I had come there with
any lingering fancy that I was still to love little Em’ly, I don’t know. I
know that I was filled with pleasure by all this; but, at first, with an
indescribably sensitive pleasure, that a very little would have changed to
pain.</p>
<p>Therefore, if it had depended upon me to touch the prevailing chord among
them with any skill, I should have made a poor hand of it. But it depended
upon Steerforth; and he did it with such address, that in a few minutes we
were all as easy and as happy as it was possible to be.</p>
<p>‘Mr. Peggotty,’ he said, ‘you are a thoroughly good fellow, and deserve to
be as happy as you are tonight. My hand upon it! Ham, I give you joy, my
boy. My hand upon that, too! Daisy, stir the fire, and make it a brisk
one! and Mr. Peggotty, unless you can induce your gentle niece to come
back (for whom I vacate this seat in the corner), I shall go. Any gap at
your fireside on such a night—such a gap least of all—I
wouldn’t make, for the wealth of the Indies!’</p>
<p>So Mr. Peggotty went into my old room to fetch little Em’ly. At first
little Em’ly didn’t like to come, and then Ham went. Presently they
brought her to the fireside, very much confused, and very shy,—but
she soon became more assured when she found how gently and respectfully
Steerforth spoke to her; how skilfully he avoided anything that would
embarrass her; how he talked to Mr. Peggotty of boats, and ships, and
tides, and fish; how he referred to me about the time when he had seen Mr.
Peggotty at Salem House; how delighted he was with the boat and all
belonging to it; how lightly and easily he carried on, until he brought
us, by degrees, into a charmed circle, and we were all talking away
without any reserve.</p>
<p>Em’ly, indeed, said little all the evening; but she looked, and listened,
and her face got animated, and she was charming. Steerforth told a story
of a dismal shipwreck (which arose out of his talk with Mr. Peggotty), as
if he saw it all before him—and little Em’ly’s eyes were fastened on
him all the time, as if she saw it too. He told us a merry adventure of
his own, as a relief to that, with as much gaiety as if the narrative were
as fresh to him as it was to us—and little Em’ly laughed until the
boat rang with the musical sounds, and we all laughed (Steerforth too), in
irresistible sympathy with what was so pleasant and light-hearted. He got
Mr. Peggotty to sing, or rather to roar, ‘When the stormy winds do blow,
do blow, do blow’; and he sang a sailor’s song himself, so pathetically
and beautifully, that I could have almost fancied that the real wind
creeping sorrowfully round the house, and murmuring low through our
unbroken silence, was there to listen.</p>
<p>As to Mrs. Gummidge, he roused that victim of despondency with a success
never attained by anyone else (so Mr. Peggotty informed me), since the
decease of the old one. He left her so little leisure for being miserable,
that she said next day she thought she must have been bewitched.</p>
<p>But he set up no monopoly of the general attention, or the conversation.
When little Em’ly grew more courageous, and talked (but still bashfully)
across the fire to me, of our old wanderings upon the beach, to pick up
shells and pebbles; and when I asked her if she recollected how I used to
be devoted to her; and when we both laughed and reddened, casting these
looks back on the pleasant old times, so unreal to look at now; he was
silent and attentive, and observed us thoughtfully. She sat, at this time,
and all the evening, on the old locker in her old little corner by the
fire—Ham beside her, where I used to sit. I could not satisfy myself
whether it was in her own little tormenting way, or in a maidenly reserve
before us, that she kept quite close to the wall, and away from him; but I
observed that she did so, all the evening.</p>
<p>As I remember, it was almost midnight when we took our leave. We had had
some biscuit and dried fish for supper, and Steerforth had produced from
his pocket a full flask of Hollands, which we men (I may say we men, now,
without a blush) had emptied. We parted merrily; and as they all stood
crowded round the door to light us as far as they could upon our road, I
saw the sweet blue eyes of little Em’ly peeping after us, from behind Ham,
and heard her soft voice calling to us to be careful how we went.</p>
<p>‘A most engaging little Beauty!’ said Steerforth, taking my arm. ‘Well!
It’s a quaint place, and they are quaint company, and it’s quite a new
sensation to mix with them.’</p>
<p>‘How fortunate we are, too,’ I returned, ‘to have arrived to witness their
happiness in that intended marriage! I never saw people so happy. How
delightful to see it, and to be made the sharers in their honest joy, as
we have been!’</p>
<p>‘That’s rather a chuckle-headed fellow for the girl; isn’t he?’ said
Steerforth.</p>
<p>He had been so hearty with him, and with them all, that I felt a shock in
this unexpected and cold reply. But turning quickly upon him, and seeing a
laugh in his eyes, I answered, much relieved:</p>
<p>‘Ah, Steerforth! It’s well for you to joke about the poor! You may
skirmish with Miss Dartle, or try to hide your sympathies in jest from me,
but I know better. When I see how perfectly you understand them, how
exquisitely you can enter into happiness like this plain fisherman’s, or
humour a love like my old nurse’s, I know that there is not a joy or
sorrow, not an emotion, of such people, that can be indifferent to you.
And I admire and love you for it, Steerforth, twenty times the more!’</p>
<p>He stopped, and, looking in my face, said, ‘Daisy, I believe you are in
earnest, and are good. I wish we all were!’ Next moment he was gaily
singing Mr. Peggotty’s song, as we walked at a round pace back to
Yarmouth.</p>
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