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Miss Meredith

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[Pg 98] <h2>CHAPTER XI. "WILL YOU MAKE ME VERY HAPPY?"</h2> I rose early next morning, and without waiting for my breakfast, ran downstairs, made Pasquale, the vague servant, open the door for me, and I escaped into the sunshine. In the long and troubled night just passed I had come to a resolution—I would go home. From first to last, I told myself, the experiment had been a failure. From first to last I had been out of touch with the people with whom I had come to dwell; the almost undisguised hostility of the last few days was merely the culmination of a growing feeling. In that atmosphere of suspicion, of disapprobation, I could exist no longer. Defeated, indeed, but in no wise disgraced, I would return whence I came. I would tell them everything at home, and they would understand. [Pg 99] That I had committed some mysterious breach of Italian etiquette, outraged some notion of Italian propriety, I could not doubt; but at least I had been guilty of nothing of which, judged by my own standard, I could feel ashamed. But my heart was very heavy as I sped on through the streets, instinctively making my way to the cathedral. It was the second week in March, and the spring was full upon us. The grass in the piazza smelt of clover, and here and there on the brown hills was the flush of blossoming peach or the snow of flowering almonds. In the soft light of the morning, cathedral, tower, and baptistery seemed steeped in a divine calm. Their beauty filled me with a great sadness. They were my friends; I had grown to love them, and now I was leaving them, perhaps for ever. Pacing up and down, and round about, I tried to fix my thoughts on my plans, to consider with calmness my course of action. But this was the upshot of all my endeavours, the one ridiculous irrelevant conclusion at which I could arrive—"He is certainly not engaged to Costanza." As I came round by the main door of the cathedral[Pg 100] for perhaps the twentieth time, I saw Andrea walking across the grass towards me. A week ago, I had never seen his face; now as I watched him advancing in the sunlight, it seemed that I had known him all my life. Never was figure more familiar, never presence more reassuring, than that of this stranger. The sight of him neither disturbed nor astonished me; now that he was here, his coming seemed inevitable, part of the natural order of things. "Ah, I have found you," he said quietly, and we turned together and strolled towards the Campo Santo. "Do you often come here?" He stopped and looked at me dreamily. "Often, often. It is all so beautiful and so sad." "It is very sad." "Do you not see how very beautiful it is?" I cried, "that there is nothing like it in the whole world? And I am leaving it, and it breaks my heart!" "You are going away?" "Yes." I was calm no longer, but strangely agitated. I turned away, and began pacing to and fro. "Ah! they have not made you happy?" His eyes flashed as he came up to me. [Pg 101] "No," I said, "I am not happy; but it is nobody's fault. They do not like me, and I cannot bear it any more. It has never happened to me before—no one has thought me very wonderful, very clever, very beautiful, very brilliant; but people have always liked me, and if I am not liked I shall die." With which foolish outbreak—which astonished no one more than the speaker—I turned away again with streaming eyes. "Let us come in here," said Andrea, still with that strange calm in voice and manner, and together we passed into the Campo Santo. A bird was singing somewhere among the cypresses; the daffodils rose golden in the grass; the strip of sky between the cloisters was intensely blue. "Miss Meredith," said Andrea, taking my hand, "will you make me very happy—will you be my wife?" We were standing in the grass-plot, face to face, and he was very pale. His words seemed the most natural thing in the world. I ought, perhaps, to have made a protest, to have reminded him of family claims and dues, to have made sure that love, not chivalry, was speaking. [Pg 102] But I only said, "Yes," very low, looking at him as we stood there among the tombs, under the blue heavens. *         *         *         *         *         * "As you came down the gallery, in the sunlight, with the little grey gown, and the frightened look in the modest eyes, I said to myself, 'Here, with the help of God, comes my wife!'" I do not know how long we had been in the cloisters, pacing slowly, hand in hand, almost in silence. The sun was high in the heavens, and the bird in the cypresses sang no more. "Do you know," cried Andrea, stopping suddenly, and laughing, "here is a most ridiculous thing! What is your name? for I haven't the ghost of an idea!" "Elsie." I laughed, too. The joke struck us both as an excellent one. "Elsie! Ah, the sweet name! Elsie, Elsie! Was ever such a dear little name? What shall we do next, Elsie, my friend?" "Take me to the mountains!" I cried, suddenly aware that I was tired to exhaustion, that I had had no sleep and no breakfast. "Take me to the[Pg 103] mountains; I have longed, longed for them all these days!" I staggered a little, and closed my eyes. When I opened them he was holding me in his arms, looking down anxiously at my face. "Yes, we will go to the mountains; but first I shall take you home, and give you something to eat and drink, Elsie." <hr /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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