<h2><SPAN name="VI" id="VI"></SPAN>VI</h2>
<h3>"I'M MARY SMITH"</h3>
<p>Plunk, plunk, plunketty-plunk, down the pike, me and Eli, and Dandy Jim,
Eli's black horse.</p>
<p>I'll never tell you how I felt. It was the first I'd ever been away from
home. All the regrets I had was eased by knowing it wouldn't be more
than six months before I'd come back with a gunny-sack full of
hundred-dollar bills, buy Mr. Jasper's place with the pillars in front,
and a railroad, and pervade things in general with a tone of pink and
birds singing.</p>
<p>One thing about being a boy is that you're sure of to-morrow, anyhow.</p>
<p>Well, we slid along behind a free-gaited horse, in an easy wagon, over
good roads, in early New England summer, when every breath of air had a
pretty story to tell. If it hadn't been for the tight vest I had on, I
reckon my heart would have bust my ribs for joyfulness.</p>
<p>Boston scart the life out of me. I had no notion there was that many
folks and horses and buildings in the world. We pulled for the schooner
right away, but none too quick for me. I never liked a crowd. A man
understands he don't amount to much, yet don't like to have the fact
rubbed in.</p>
<p>Cap'n Jesse Conklin owned the boat. He had a mild blue eye, a splendid
line of cuss words, a body as big as mine, and a pair of legs that just
saved him from running aground. When I first saw him I thought he was
standing in a hole. Howsomever, he got around mighty lively on his
little stumps, and he could light his pipe when the <i>Matilda</i>, of
Boston, was throwing handsprings. He always opened his eyes wide and
said, "Ha!" like he was perfectly astonished when you spoke to him.
Then, to square things, you was really perfectly astonished when he
spoke to you.</p>
<p>Eli introduced me. "Ha!" says the captain. "So this is one of them
ripperty-splintered and bejiggered young thingermergummeries that runs
away from hum, heh?" I don't wish to be understood as giving the
captain's exact words, although I ain't one of your durn prudes,
neither.</p>
<p>Eli explained.</p>
<p>"Ha!" says the captain. "Is that so? Howjer come by them legs, young
feller? You'll be riggin' a set of stays fur them when we hit the
stream. I've seen shorter and thicker things than them growin' on
trellises."</p>
<p>"Never you mind about his legs, you old bladder-head," says Eli,
cousinly. "You're to take the boy as passenger."</p>
<p>"<i>I</i> am!" says Captain Jesse, jumping back, mad as a bumblebee. "<i>I</i> am;
that's <i>me</i>! I don't own this boat nor nothin'! I've got to be told what
I'm to do, I have!"</p>
<p>"Sure!" says Eli, undisturbed.</p>
<p>"Well, all right," says the captain, calm as anything. "What makes you
so hasty, Eli? Does he pay his passage, or work it?"</p>
<p>"He gives you five dollars in hand, and works the rest of it," says Eli.</p>
<p>The cap'n gave a horrible grin, showing a set of teeth like a small
horse.</p>
<p>"And won't he work it!" says he, rubbing his hands together. "Dry
land'll do for him, two weeks out."</p>
<p>"Yaaas," says Eli. "You're a turble person, you are—you'd ought to been
a pirate, Jess."</p>
<p>Cap'n Jesse got mad again—he was more like a little boy than anybody of
his weight I ever see. He come up to Eli and shook his finger under that
hawk-bill of a nose.</p>
<p>"I don't want none of your slack, Eli!" he says. "You've tried me
often"—here he got impressive, talking very slow—"don't you try me
once too much!"</p>
<p>Eli grabbed the hand, stuck the finger in his mouth, and bit it.</p>
<p>"Aaoow!" yells the captain, grabbing his finger. "You quit your
foolin'!"</p>
<p>By this time I was lost entirely. What to make of the proceedings was
beyond guessing. Boylike, I thought men always acted with some big idea
in view, but the next minute Eli and Cap'n Jesse had grabbed holt of one
another and was scuffling and giggling around the deck like a pair of
kids. Captain Jess was stout about the shoulders; he had Eli waving in
the breeze once, but at last Eli gave him a back trip and down they
come. Then up they got; each cut off a hunk of chewing and began to talk
as if they'd acted perfectly reasonable. Seems that's the way they
always come together.</p>
<p>The three of us took a look about the boat. She was an able, fine
three-master, the pride of Jesse's soul; 'most as big as a ship.</p>
<p>Them were the days when most folk built deep and narrer, but Jesse had
ideas of his own when he laid down the lines of the <i>Matilda</i>, of
Boston. She looked bluff and heavy in the bows and her bilges turned
hard, but she walked over the water, and don't you forget it. Moreover,
she was the kindest boat in a seaway I ever boarded. Old <i>Matilda</i> girl
would heel just so far; after that the worst draft that ever whistled
wouldn't put her under an inch; she'd part with her sticks first. Handy
boat, a schooner, too; sensible and Yankeefied. Lord! what a
claw-and-messing on board a square-rigger, compared to it! And taking
two men to the schooner's one at that.</p>
<p>The <i>Matilda</i> was fitted for passengers. She had eight nice clean
cabins, and fine quarters for the crew. In most such boats you can't
more 'n stand up, if you stretch between hair and shoe-leather the way I
do, but here there was head-room a-plenty. And Uncle Jesse ate the boys
well, too. Good old craft and good old boy running her. Soon's you
realized that all his spitting and swearing and roaring didn't amount to
no more than a hearty sneeze, you got along with Jesse great, if you was
fit to get along with anybody.</p>
<p>We took aboard four passengers that night, one of 'em being a lady. The
next morning at four we pulled out with the ebb-tide.</p>
<p>Before we got into the open water, I felt such a joy boiling inside me I
had to sing, no matter what the feelings of the rest were. Oh! Oh! The
blue, bright sky; and the blue, crinkly, good-smelling water; the
quantities of fresh air around, and <i>Matilda</i> picking up her white
skirts and skipping for Panama! Neither man nor money will ever give me
a feeling like that again. But then,—ah, then! And there's 'most always
a then,—when the <i>Matilda</i> tried to spear a gull with her bowsprit,
and, shamefaced at the failure above, tried to harpoon some little fishy
with the same weapon,—why, I hope I'll never have a feeling like that
again, neither.</p>
<p>I hung over a bunk like a snarl of rope. Jesse come down and grinned at
me. I couldn't even get mad. "Tell mother I died thinking of her," was
all I could say.</p>
<p>Now that was noble of me. Many a man has cashed his checks not feeling
half so bad; but if any poor soul ever regretted a good deed, I did that
one. That last message to my mother seemed to remain in the memory of
our ship's company, long after I was willing to forget it.</p>
<p>For two solid days I didn't live inside of myself,—mind floated around
in space. After that, I got up, ready for anything in the line of eating
they had on board. Jesse brought me a smoked herring and a cup of
coffee,—the first coffee I ever tasted, mother thinking it wasn't good
for boys. Within ten minutes after my meal, William De La Tour Saunders
belonged to himself once more. Never had a squirm of seasickness since.
For the first week I wasn't quite up to the mark, but Jesse told me to
take a cup of sea-water every morning before breakfast, which tuned me
up in jig-time.</p>
<p>I saw our lady passenger when she come up for air. A girl of about
twenty, supple and balanced as a tight-rope walker; you thought she was
slim when you first looked at her, yet when you looked the second time
you couldn't prove it. What a beautiful thing is a set of muscles that
know their business! Muscles that meet every roll of a boat, or whatever
it is they should meet, without haste and without loss of time,—just
there, when they should be there! Why, to see that girl walk twenty feet
on the schooner's deck was a picture to remember for the rest of your
days. Kid that I was, I noticed there wasn't a line in her makeup that
said, "Look at me." Afterward I learned to shake my head at graceful
ladies, but I feel kindly toward them still, out of memory of that first
girl. My mother moved beautifully, likewise Mattie. They were quiet,
though; restful women; this one was all spring and ginger,—for Heaven's
sake, don't think I mean prancy! Nor that I haven't met a prancy girl or
two who was all right, when I say that,—fat and jolly, yellow-haired
girls, to go with good meals and a romp,—but this My Lady was made of
the stuff Uncle Shakspere wrote. She was clean and sweet as pine-woods
after rain, but full of fire, sense, and foolishness.</p>
<p>I remember thinking, "When this girl turns round she ain't going to be
handsome in the face. With that head of hair, that back, and that walk,
Providence will feel square on the deal." And when she did turn round I
simply spread my hands, mouth, and eyes, and looked at her. I forgot
being aboard ship, I forgot where I was going and why, I forgot who I
was and everything else; all I knew was that a kind of human I never
believed lived was walking toward me.</p>
<p>I caught one glance of her eyes; outside their beauty was fun, kindness,
and a desire to be friends; from that minute one red-headed puppy-dog
found something to live for.</p>
<p>My devotion had nothing to do with the ordinary love-affair. As for
marrying her, no such idea entered my loft. I had no jealousies. All I
wanted was for her to be near me, to be a friend of mine, and that she
might be on hand to approve if I did something surprising. I wanted the
privilege of her hearing me talk about myself; and, for the rest of it,
I could sit and look at her beauty, the same as you or me could sit and
listen to the greatest music. It meant more than just good looks; I
wouldn't go too far if I said it was a kind of religion. And the devil
take my soul if I forget the horse-sense and kindness that girl used in
teaching a foot-loose boy what a different place this world is, from
what he'd been like to think it, without her. A young feller's first
outpourings toward a woman has more effect on him than even his mother's
years of care. He kind of takes mother for granted. The other woman
represents his own endeavors. I played in luck.</p>
<p>We were introduced, bang! When about ten feet away from me she took her
hand from the rail to gather in one end of a shawl. At that minute the
<i>Matilda</i> saw a whale, or something, and shied. We struck the mainmast
together, me trying to hold her up. She said, "Why, how do you do?" I
said I did very well, and was she hurt? She said, not in the least,
thank you, except in her feelings, at being so clumsy. I said, if <i>she</i>
was clumsy, why, then, why, then—Now I was a little bashful. Nobody
could be a clodhopper who lived with my mother, and ordinarily I acted
quite like a man when necessary, but this was a little sudden. I
couldn't reach the word I looked for. With one hand braced against the
mainmast, her hair standing in a black cloud about her head, the color
whipped to her cheeks, she gave me a flash from the corner of her eye:
"I'm afraid I lose my compliment," said she.</p>
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<div class="figcenter"> <SPAN name="illus5" id="illus5"></SPAN> <ANTIMG src="images/illus5.jpg" alt=""/></div>
<h3>"The <i>Matilda</i> saw a whale, or something and shied"</h3>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<p>Afterward I learned she had liked me from the first, too, and was afraid
I mightn't turn out well. Lucky for me I didn't try to show off!</p>
<p>"I wouldn't think it a compliment to compare you to anything on earth!"
says I, meaning every word of it.</p>
<p>She laughed out, hearty as a boy. "Royal!" she said, and held out her
hand.</p>
<p>"And the hand is the hand of—?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Bill Saunders," said I, thinking to take off my hat.</p>
<p>"I sound almost as honest as you," said she. "I'm Mary Smith."</p>
<p>It was almost a shock to think she was Mary Smith. Since then it would
be a shock to think of her as Eulalie Rosalinde De Montmorency. She
didn't need it. Plain Mary Smith told of what was beneath her
loveliness,—and, I'm forced to admit, her side-stepping and
buck-jumping, once in a while. Oh, she could cut loose for fair, if
stirred, but you could always remember with perfect faith Mary Smith.</p>
<p>It wasn't five minutes after we started talking that Arthur Saxton came
along. The girl knew him, and said good morning in that civil, hold-off
fashion a good woman uses to a man she thinks may come to liking her too
well, or that she may come to like too well, when the facts are against
any happy result. So there was three of us, that took our little share
of what followed, gathered together early in the game.</p>
<p>I liked Saxton from the jump. He had more faults than any other man I
ever seen. He was the queerest, contrariest cuss, and yet such a
gentleman; he had such a way, and such talents, that when you were mad
enough to kill him, you couldn't help but feel glad you knew him to get
mad at. Somehow, he steered clear of meanness. There was a sort of
nobility in his capers, even when his best friends would have to admit
they didn't seem to be of a size for a full-grown man. I don't know how
to express myself. He often played a poor part; but darned if he didn't
carry it off well, because it was him; I think that's the nearest I can
come to it; good or bad, large or small, he was always Saxton, never
attempting to put on anything different. And vain! Well, Heaven preserve
us! And, on the other hand, not vain, neither. 'Twas like this. Among
the things he did well enough to be high-class was playing the violin.
He had a style and a go in it all his own, but he hadn't spent the time
to learn some of the stunts that go with the trade. All the same, his
natural gifts got him a job to play in concerts. The boss of the affair
was a German, the kind of a man who had a soul to realize that Saxton
made music, but had a head to go crazy over his slam-dashery. Now,
Saxton grew excited whilst playing, and cut loose on his own hook,
letting the poor perspiring Dutchman and the rest of the orchestra keep
up to his trail the best they could. At these opportunities the Dutchman
went home in a cab, frothing at the mouth. You see, he understood it was
great stuff, as far as Saxton was concerned, so he cussed the cab-driver
and the cab-horse, and the people on the street, being an honest sort of
Dutchman, if limited; but, also, he had a pride in his gang, and he felt
entitled to a show, here and there.</p>
<p>At last there come a big occasion. Saxton was half sick and loaded up on
champagne and coffee to pull through the evening. I have his own word
for it, the mixture done wonders. Right in the middle of a piece by a
gentleman whose name I don't recall, as it's spelt with all the tail-end
of the alphabet, and sounds like rip-sawing a board, Saxton throws dull
care away and wanders into regions of beautiful sounds hitherto
unexplored. Now and then the tall and melancholy gent with the
bull-fiddle would scratch out a note or two, and the drummer got in a
lick here and there, while the flute man toodle-oodled around to head
off Saxy; but, on the whole, that orchestra was worse lost than so many
West Pointers trying to catch an Apache who ain't longing for home. They
sat and let old Saxton ramp by himself, laying low to hit her up strong
on the last note. And they did,—but they misguessed the note. Saxton
ground his teeth yet, recalling the finish. "It was my best," said he.
"I was inspired that night,—and then, for that assortment of garlic and
sausage to smash me!"</p>
<p>Well, he heaved his fiddle at the poor leader, and called him a barrel
of sauerkraut afloat on a sea of beer, right before the whole audience.
It is perhaps unnecessary to state that he and the orchestra parted
company. Now he was off for Panama,—quit fiddling forever. Done with
it. Going to take up a <i>man's</i> work, he said. He didn't mention the
variety, but rolled out the statement as if it was a joy. In the
meantime, he was painting pictures and writing a novel. The pictures
never got finished, and the novel hasn't come out, but those things
didn't make him any less entertaining; and, as usual, what did get done
of them was almighty well done, and done in a way only Arthur Saxton
could do. I never see such a man to stamp himself on anything he put his
hand to. And when he was working, if you said the least thing against
the job, he wanted trouble with you; but the next day he'd smoke his
pipe and tear it apart worse than you possibly could. That was Saxy:
first crack, spoiled kid; second thought, clear-headed man.</p>
<p>The three of us, Mary and him and me, walked the deck day after day,
talking of everything, from what fine weather it was to religion. Once
Saxton called our attention to the wind in the rigging. Afterward I knew
it sounded like Injun chants and coyotes howling, but Saxton asked if we
didn't notice how much it was like the songs the children sing in play.
He said those songs must have been handed down from far-off days—when
we whites were savages, hopping around hollering hye-ee yah, hye-ee yah,
and calling on the ladies, dressed in a streak of red paint. I don't
know about that, though. No child in this world can be as mournful
enjoying himself as a cow-puncher with all night before him and seven
hundred verses to get through; there's puncher songs would make a strong
man curl up and die.</p>
<p>Now, says Saxton, what makes children and savages, who have a clear
field to amuse themselves as they see fit, pick, with deliberate choice,
such melancholy tunes? And he said it was because nature always hit on
that; wind in rigging, wind in trees, waterfalls, the far-off hum of the
city, all sad, sad.</p>
<p>I asked him, if it was natural, where did we get the idea it was sad? It
struck me that if a thing was natural, it was natural, not sad, nor
nothin' else.</p>
<p>He said, because nature was sad. Mary said, no such a thing; nature
wasn't sad—there were the flowers and green fields, also natural, and
pleasant and cheerful to the eye; there was more blue sky than gray, and
as for the savage being sad, why, that might be, but it wasn't sad to
think that men were working out of savagery into civilization.</p>
<p>So then Saxton gave civilization one for its Ma, and talk brisked up.
Civilization stood for Dutchmen that ran orchestras to Saxton, and he
didn't spare her feelings none. I was glad Civvy, old girl, was no
friend of mine. According to him, of all the mistakes so foolish that to
think of bettering it was like building a hole with no rim around it,
civilization stood first and foremost.</p>
<p>Mary got red in the face and her eyes shone. They had it up one side and
down the other, forgetting me entirely. Finally Saxton told her she
wasn't talking honestly, that she hated civilization worse than he did,
and it was plumb hypocrisy for her to set up in its defense; whereupon
she replied that <i>she</i> hadn't wasted her time and talents, anyhow; that
she wasn't throwing things up the first little obstacle that came in the
way. Which didn't seem to be just the answer one might expect to the
charge, but finished Saxton plenty.</p>
<p>He drew himself up proud. "If every topic had to turn to
personalities—" said he.</p>
<p>"I didn't begin the personalities," said Mary. "You called me a fraud."</p>
<p>"I never did!" cries Saxton. "I said you were defending a cause you
didn't believe in!"</p>
<p>"And that isn't a fraud? I admire your distinctions."</p>
<p>Saxton chewed his mustache and swallowed. He made her a low bow and
said, in a tone of voice to flatten her out: "I am glad Miss Smith finds
something admirable in me!"</p>
<p>Mary's lip curled hard and contemptuous. It <i>was</i> kiddish.</p>
<p>"There'd be plenty in you to admire if you let it have liberty," she
said. "The trouble is that your follies seem worth it, to you."</p>
<p>"Follies! You let me off lightly. Why not absurdities, idiocies?"</p>
<p>"Pick your name," she said, throwing away her interest with a sweep of
her hand.</p>
<p>"There is one folly you give me great cause to regret," he answered her,
his manhood coming back to him, "but yet I never do."</p>
<p>"Oh!" she jeered at him. "You should renounce them all. If I understand
your meaning, that is the least excusable—you have some reason for the
others."</p>
<p>Later I understood the cruelty of that speech. It was cruel to be kind,
but it was mighty cruel and a doubtful kindness. It woke old Saxton up.
He took a breath and shook. He put a hand on her shoulder, standing
straight and tall—a handsome, slim critter, if ever there lived one.</p>
<p>"Listen!" he said, quiet, but all of him in it. "You shall care for me,
just as I am—you understand? A fool, and a this, and a that—but you
shall care."</p>
<p>A look in her eyes—the kind of defy that grows of being scart—showed
his talk wasn't all air.</p>
<p>But it went in a second, and she whirled on him. "Why don't you
advertise your intentions?" she demanded. "If I had an idea I should be
so persecuted—"</p>
<p>"Don't say persecuted, little girl," he answered her softly. "Let's be
friends the rest of the trip. I'll trouble you no more,—by sea," he
finished, smiling.</p>
<p>She gripped the rail and looked out over the waters. Again her eyes
turned to him for a second. He was worth it. That dark, long face of
his, set off with his red neckerchief, made something for any woman to
look at. And we're not always so darned fond of reasonable people as we
make out.</p>
<p>"If only—" she began, then bit back whatever it was. "Well, as you
say," she wound up, "let us be friends. Isn't it foolish for us to
quarrel so, Will?" she asked, turning to me. "I think you must feel
we're both ridiculous."</p>
<p>"I don't care whether you are or not," I said. "I like you both."</p>
<p>Saxton looked pleased 'way back in his dark eyes. "That's the boy for my
money!" he said. And then we three began to laugh.</p>
<p>"It's all too beautiful to quarrel in," he said, waving an arm around.
"To feel sorrowful on such a day, savage or civilized, really is
ridiculous."</p>
<p>She couldn't help giving him one last jab,—I make a guess he turned
happy too soon to please her. If she didn't like him, she liked somebody
who so much resembled him that she wanted to have him around to remind
her.</p>
<p>"Mr. Saxton's sorrows are soon healed," she said. "That's a valuable
disposition."</p>
<p>"I take <i>that</i> as friendly, because I must," said he, smiling in a way,
as with the other things he did, that was beautiful in a fashion of its
own. She tried to buck against it, to keep sneering; but something so
young and joyful was in his face, she couldn't help smiling back at him.
So we walked the deck and talked about everything in the best of humors.</p>
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