<h2><SPAN name="V" id="V"></SPAN>V</h2>
<h3>"ON MY BUREAU WAS A KNIFE—"</h3>
<p>My father stood behind me, such a picture it chills me to think of him.
All of his face was chalk-white; his hands shook like palsy. I reckon I
can slide over the next little while. You guess what a crazy-mad man,
who's fed his mind on darkness for years, would be likely to do. I never
raised a hand in defense—took it. At the same time I made my mind up to
end this business, quick and strong. I had enough.</p>
<p>Of course, from father's point of view, something could be said. Had I
been drunk and fighting at the tavern, as my nice, gentlemanly little
friend, Algy Anker, ran and told him, nobody'd blamed him for getting
orry-eyed. But he might have asked me what I had to say—a woman-killer
gets that show. He used me bad enough, so Eli interfered. "I don't care
if I never sell another thing to you," says he; "but, neighbor, you
sha'n't hit thet boy ag'in—no, now! There's no use to squirm—you
sha'n't do it, and that's all. You run along, Bill."</p>
<p>When mother saw me, she cried out. I was a sight, for sure. Ought to
have washed up a bit, and not give her such a shock, but my head was
sizzing like a pin-wheel. Only one idea stuck.</p>
<p>"I'm not hurt much, mother," I says. "I want to speak to you."</p>
<p>Mother was quick-witted and hardy-witted, too. She knew there was no boy
foolishness in this, so she choked down her feelings, got a basin, clean
water, and a towel, and said, "Tell me while I bathe your face."</p>
<p>I told her. It was queer how quiet I felt. I don't know but what it's
always that way, though, when a man has made his mind up tight. We
seemed almost of an age, mother and me, that little while.</p>
<p>She pleaded with me. "Don't leave your home, Will. I have been wrong; I
should have done more; I didn't, thinking things would right themselves;
but now I'll promise to stand between."</p>
<p>"And what will your life be like?" I asked her. I grew old pretty fast,
under pressure.</p>
<p>"Never mind that!" she cried. "My boy, to have you with me—"</p>
<p>"Sh!" I says. "How could I help minding it?"</p>
<p>She was still.</p>
<p>"And worse might come," I went on. "I don't like to say it, yet every
time I couldn't promise to be.... There'd come a day too often ... I'm
strong, and if I should—" She put her hand on my lips.</p>
<p>"Go to your room, Will; and let me think alone for a while," she said.
She caught me and held me close, with never a tear, but a look worse
than an ocean of tears. I couldn't have stood it, if I hadn't known I
was doing the right thing. To a dead certainty, there would be no peace
with me in the house. Any doubts anybody might have had was removed when
father come in. He went straight to mother's room. I heard him shouting;
talking so fast his words were broken; stamping around; quoting
Scripture one minute, crying threats and slaughter the next. It was
pitiful. I hustled, getting things ready; I knew, a little more of
listening, and I'd have nothing but contempt for my father. Then
mother's voice rung out, telling him to leave until he could talk like a
man. Usually, she could force him, when she wished, hers being so much
bigger a mind, but this time the littler soul was beyond itself with
fury. "Don't take that tone with me!" he roared. "I won't stand it! And
as for the lies that boy told you, I'll have them out of his back!"
Their door slammed open, and he fairly ran toward mine. I jumped and
locked it. Mother was close after him. "You shall <i>not</i>!" she said.
"Listen to reason! You've done enough harm—Oh!" she cried, in pain. I
thought he hit her.</p>
<p>What I feared boiled up in me. On my bureau was a knife; a big, heavy
knife, that got into my hand somehow. It was me and the devil for that
round. How long I stood with the knife raised, I don't know. Then mother
spoke calmly. "You hurt my arm, holding it so tight," she said. "That
certainly isn't necessary." He had grace enough to beg her pardon.
Finally, she got him to leave. A good job. That day had been a trifle
too much for me, already. I can't see a bare knife since, without a
shudder. Don't like the glint of steel at all. Years after, a flash of
sun on water would bring things back, and I'd have a sickness in the
stomach.</p>
<p>An hour after, mother came in. "Well, my boy, you are right," she says,
as if the very life were out of her.</p>
<p>"Yes," I says, thinking of the knife; "and I'll just slide out quiet,
and no trouble to anybody."</p>
<p>She roused herself. "You will leave in daylight, my son," she says,
"with your mother to say good-by. You have done nothing wrong, and you
sha'n't leave ashamed."</p>
<p>"But, mother, that will make it bad for you," I says.</p>
<p>"I married your father; I brought you into the world," she says. "I know
my duty, and I shall do it, if it costs all our lives, let alone a
little trouble. And, besides," she says, getting up, excited, "no matter
what any one can say, you've been a good—" She broke down, all at once.
The rest of it she cried into my shoulder, whilst I told her about how
I'd be rich and great in no time, and father'd come around all right
after a while, and we'd all be happy, till she felt better. And I
believed it myself so strong, and put it out so clear, that I think I
convinced her. Anyway, they got along all right after I left. That's a
comfort.</p>
<p>So it was arranged. I shouldn't say anything, but keep out of father's
way until she made him yield the point. She laid it out to the old
gentleman clear and straight, Mattie tells me—(Mattie's mother was my
mother's half-sister)—telling him I wasn't drunk, as he could readily
prove, and as for the fighting, if he intended to beat me every time I
defended a woman, why, she'd leave, too. That part of it stuck in
mother's mind; she would not listen when I told her it was only one of
the reasons for the row. And she summed the thing up by saying I was
determined to leave; that it was best all around; and that he must act
like a human being and a father for once. By this time, I reckon he
didn't feel so terrible proud of himself. At least, it was pulled off
easy. I left home, with some small money in my pocket, a trunk of
clothes in Eli's care, and mother and father both waving me good-by in
the road, for the Great World, per Boston, and a schooner trading South,
that belonged to Eli's cousin.</p>
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<h3>"I left home ... mother and father both waving me good-by in the road"</h3>
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<p>And here's a queer thing. The day I left, Mick went into the tavern and
called for a glass of whisky. He poured out a snorter and balanced it on
the flat of his thumb. "Ladies and gintlemen," says he, "ye here behold
th' koind friend that led Mick Murphy—that's licked the country—to
bang a bit of a bye, after misnamin' a dacent woman." Smash! goes the
glass on the floor. "Tra-la-loo to you!" says Mick, flinging the
barkeep' a half-dollar. "Keep the change," he says. "It's the last cent
I have, and the last you'll get from me."</p>
<p>And that's just what happened, too. He's located about twenty mile over
yonder, with a good factory and somewheres between ninety and nine
thousand Murphys claiming him as their start. And my best friend is old
Mick. He cried when I first went to see him. I reformed him, but it cost
me my home. I never knew, either, till he told me himself, a year ago.</p>
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