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<h2>MOURNING</h2> <div><ANTIMG class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t4.jpg" width-obs="130" height-obs="138" alt="T" /></div> THERE IS ROOM for so much variety in the expression of personal tastes as to the matter of mourning that hard-and-fast rules are of doubtful value. There is, however, some degree of exactness as to the dress suitable for widows, although, even in this connection, individual choice and the changes of fashion exert their influence to the display of differing modes. The widow’s mourning may be divided into three periods, termed respectively first, second and third. The first mourning includes the entire costume in black. Usually, the material of the dress is of worsted, with a trimming of crêpe. The black bonnet is of crêpe, and from it hangs a long veil, also of crêpe.[107] Formerly, these veils were of extreme length, reaching even to the hem of the gown. The tendency has been, however, toward shortening the veil, and the present fashion insists on only a moderate length. Another veil, worn over the face, was formerly both long and heavy, but the style has been modified, and at present it is of lighter texture and of much briefer proportions. The bonnet has white ruching within the front edge, and the gown is trimmed with sheer white cuffs, and a collar of the same material. The gloves must be of dull black, and ornaments of dull jet, with a black-bordered handkerchief. This first mourning should be worn for a full year. A change may then be made to second mourning, in which the dress may be of crêpe de chine or dull silk, with a hat carrying black chiffon, etc., and ornaments of dull jet. The third mourning is assumed after another six months. In this white and[108] lilac are permitted to relieve the somberness of the attire. This mourning is worn for a period of six months, also, after which colors may be resumed. It should be noted that the white ruche on the bonnet is the one distinctive feature of the first mourning that designates the wearer as a widow. A woman may wear exactly the same costume, with the exception of this white ruche on the bonnet, in the mourning for a parent, a child, a brother or a sister. The period for wearing mourning in such case, and the changes in it, may follow the details given above for widows. Mourning for a parent-in-law is black, with the crêpe omitted. This is worn for only a month, and is followed by any preferred combinations of black and white, relieved by lilac, for a fortnight or a little longer. The mourning for close relatives worn by a young unmarried woman does not include the bonnet and veil. Instead, a[109] hat trimmed with crêpe is worn, and a black net veil over the face is trimmed with crêpe. After six months or a year, the crêpe is omitted from hat and veil, and also from the gown. Black and white and lilac are then deemed suitable. Usually, however, the older unmarried women wear the veil and bonnet of the first mourning, as do widows, but with the white ruche omitted. Mourning is not usually adopted when the death is of relatives-in-law or of a grandparent. Three months is ordinarily sufficient for mourning in the case of an uncle or aunt, and it does not include crêpe. Ornaments may be worn, though preferably of a very quiet sort. In general, it is well to bear in mind that mourning should not be worn except for the members of one’s immediate family. Of course, the particular circumstances in each case must be a determining factor. For example, while mourning is not customarily[110] worn for a cousin, yet a girl who had made a home with such a relative might appropriately wear mourning as for her own mother. Crêpe is not deemed suitable for girls not yet old enough for a formal entrance into society, and children should be spared the lugubrious trappings of woe in every case. But a girl about sixteen years of age, on the death of a member of the family, appropriately wears a black dress, relieved only by touches of white, and a black hat, with dull black ribbons. She should leave off jewelry, but she should not carry a handkerchief with black border. The mourning for a widower is often divided into two periods. During the first, black is worn throughout in the costume, with white linen. The hat-band is of crêpe. The present tendency is to make this band much narrower than it was of yore. It is left off altogether after a year, or perhaps eight months, as the second mourning begins. The second mourning permits the[111] use of gray and white in the costume. A man’s mourning for a child, parent, brother or sister may continue for a full year, or it may be put off after six months according to his choice. The mourning includes a hat-band of crêpe. If a man wishes to wear mourning for a more distant relative, he may use the black and white and gray of the widower’s second period, but men ordinarily do not assume mourning for any except closest relations. A mourning band on the sleeve is sometimes worn by men, but it is impossible to describe its significance from the standpoint of propriety, since it is worn equally for those most closely related and for those most distantly, without distinction, and since it is a custom derived originally from England, where it serves as a cheap method of providing mourning liveries for servants. After the loss of a close relation, a woman pays no calls for six months. After that time, she may visit her intimates, but not on their at-home days. She may also attend[112] concerts and theater matinées and the like, in a very quiet way. After a year, she may appear at small dinners, and at the theater in the evening, and the like. But box parties and all the elaborate functions, such for example as balls, must not be resumed until the period of mourning has expired. Elderly women are likely to prefer a mourning garb for the remainder of their lifetime, after the death of a husband. In such cases, after perhaps two years, the widow’s bonnet and veil are given up, and nun’s veiling is substituted. While the gown remains black, the crêpe is omitted from it, and the mourning handkerchief is no longer carried. Jewelry is worn, but not of an ostentatious kind. <hr class="chap" /> [113] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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