<h3> CHAPTER XIII </h3>
<p>The ways were very foundrous, and night closed in
upon us while we were still on our flight. Ere Harry
had returned we had departed and were making for the
farm to which little Fulke had been sent with his
foster-mother. It was a good distance from Ashtead,
being the farthest part of Harry's estate inland, and
detached from the rest by a large space. For that
reason it had been chosen by him for his boy, that he
might be as far as possible away from the marshes,
which were held to be pestilent in the spring.</p>
<p>Mrs. Waldyve was riding pillion behind me. A sort
of calm had settled upon us with the night, and I
picked my way as well as I could through the mud,
content to feel her soft arm about me, and know that
it was her sweet form that leaned upon me.</p>
<p>Darker and darker gathered the night, and deeper
grew the mire. I could no longer see where my horse
trod, and had to leave him with loosened rein to find
his way as best he could. I think the unwonted weight
upon his back must have wearied him, for all at once
he stumbled, and we found him stuck up to the girths
in a slough.</p>
<p>There was nothing to be done but dismount and lift
Mrs. Waldyve off. I sank almost over my boots as I took
her in my arms, but managed nevertheless to set her
safely on a firm bank by the side of the road. My next
care was to get my horse clear, which at last, with great
toil, I did.</p>
<p>Still, we were in a sorry plight. My horse had so
laboured in the slough that by the time I had got him
free he was strained and weary past all going. Moreover,
the clouds had gathered above us in great masses,
so that not only was the darkness almost impenetrable,
but I had great fear of a heavy downpour of rain.</p>
<p>I know not what would have befallen us had it not
been that I was aware of a little inn not far distant,
which was used by travellers passing from Rochester
towards Maidstone and Tunbridge.</p>
<p>That I could reach it with my horse I did not doubt,
but was fearful for Mrs. Waldyve. When, however, I
told her how things stood with us I found her so
resolved and courageous that I determined to set out
forthwith, and in a shorter time than I had hoped we
saw the lights of the inn in front of us.</p>
<p>No sooner had we reached shelter than the rain
came down in torrents. During the happy dream in
which I had ridden, and afterwards in the labour with
my horse, I had hardly realised what we were doing.
I was reckless, not caring what came so long as I was
with her on our journey, away from my old mournful
life, as it now seemed to me.</p>
<p>It was clear we must pass the night in the inn. To
go on was not to be thought of. I know not what
Mrs. Waldyve thought, but to me it seemed quite
natural and easy, though, I confess, it was with no
little comfort that I found there were no travellers
there besides ourselves.</p>
<p>Perhaps it is well I cannot write down each thing
we said and all that passed that night; yet I would do
it if I could. It seems to me now like a faint dream
of some other man's life; and, try how I will, I can
remember little but the bustling hostess setting our supper
to a tune of chattering gossip, and after it was cleared
leaving us with a cheery 'Good-night to your gentilities.'</p>
<p>I know we sat side by side in the great chimney corner,
my arm about her, her hand in mine, talking low, with
such soft speech as none but a villain would suffer to
pass between him and another man's wife. I know the
rain had ceased and the new-risen moon was shining
gloriously in between the mullions of the broad low lattice
window, almost darkening the dancing firelight, and
making a large chequer pattern on the rush-strewn floor.</p>
<p>How long we sat so I cannot tell, no more than how
long we should have sat had we not heard the plash
of horses' feet in the mud outside. The shadow of a
cloaked horseman passed across the bright chequer
pattern on the floor, and then another.</p>
<p>We heard them stop, and then a voice that made our
hearts stand still hailed the house.</p>
<p>'Hola, house! Hola, within!' it cried.</p>
<p>'What would ye, gentles?' cried the voice of the
hostess.</p>
<p>''Slight, to come in, woman. Open quickly,' said
the traveller.</p>
<p>'Despatch, despatch, Jem,' cried the landlady. 'See
you not it is a gentleman and his gentleman servant?
In good time, your worship. My goodman is in bed.
Be patient till he make shift, that we be not shamed,
and he shall let you in. Will Ostler, Will Ostler, wake
up, you loon, and take the horses! Was ever such luck?
Mass! but I knew we should have travellers ever since
last Tuesday, when I could not sleep for dreaming of
green rushes, and that's for strangers.'</p>
<p>I could not speak, or stir, or think, but only stand
by the hearth and stupidly mark what the shrill voice
of the hostess said. Yet I had strength to resolve,
come what might, I would not draw my blade.</p>
<p>It seemed an age of silence, broken only by muttered
words for a moment without, and then the door burst
open, and Harry, covered with mud, strode in with his
rapier drawn in his hand and his cloak about his left
arm. Culverin followed at his heels, and, slamming the
door after him, stood solidly in front of it, while Harry
advanced towards us.</p>
<p>There seemed no anger in his face, but rather sorrow
and set purpose, as he came quickly forward. I stood
where I was, hoping in a moment to feel his point and
have an end to all; but Mrs. Waldyve made a sudden
movement, half of horror, half as though to protect me.</p>
<p>Harry stopped in a moment with lowered point, and
looked at her with a face in which was such a constant
love and unspeakable pain as tears my heart to this
hour to think on. Then, setting hard his teeth, he
lifted his rapier on high and flung it with all his might
crashing through the window into the yard outside.</p>
<p>I heard the clang of the broken glass. I heard the
Sergeant's great broadsword come screaming from its
sheath. I saw Harry stand trembling with set face,
trying in vain to speak with steady voice; and the
Sergeant, rigid as a column, at the door with his drawn
sword, his naked dagger, and his bristling moustache.</p>
<p>A choking sound came at last from Harry's lips, in
which there seemed no trace of his own clear, ringing
voice.</p>
<p>'For God's sake, Jasper, bring her back. You know
not what you do. You love her not as I do.'</p>
<p>That was all. I think he would have said more, but
could not. For a moment he seemed to struggle for
words, and then turned and was gone. The Sergeant
sheathed his sword with an angry clang, turned on his
heel rudely, without a word or salute, and we were alone
again in the moonlight.</p>
<p>Then there burst upon me in dazzling light, that
seemed to scorch my very soul, the horror of my sin. I
saw in a moment how blind I had been. A mad rage
at Heaven and all that had made my life seized me.
Was it for this I had striven, and denied myself, and
lived the life of a monk, when others were dancing, and
dicing, and drinking in full content? Was this, after
all my toil and wasted youth, the place where my
religion had brought me?</p>
<p>So, in wild reaction, my long-pent thoughts, their
bonds burst in sunder, ran riot through my brain, till I
heard a horseman dash away through the mud. In hate
of Heaven, in hate of myself, I went forth, not knowing
what I did.</p>
<p>The cool night air and the pure, soft moonlight
seemed to soothe my fever as I stepped into the yard.
There lay Harry's rapier, where it had fallen, the hilt
buried in the mire, the blade glittering like hope in the
silver light.</p>
<p>I know not how the fancy seized me, unless, unknown
to myself, I was infected with a foretaste of that sweet
sense which since has flowed in such full and tuneful
flood from the honeyed lips of Mr. Spenser.</p>
<p>Yet I know, as that rapier lay there so keen and
shining, I saw in it a mirror of perfect courage and
gentleness, wherein I could look for every rule of life.
I saw in it, as it were, the embodied presentment of
that noble spirit I had so foully wronged, and I clutched
at it in forlorn hope to save me amidst the dark waste
of waters that had flowed over every landmark I had
known before, and every path I had painfully learned to
tread.</p>
<p>Yes, many may think it folly, yet to me it was the
devoutest act of my life. I drew my own stained blade,
and, setting my foot upon it, snapped it across, and
then flung it into the mire as the weapon of a felon
knight.</p>
<p>So I kneeled down, and picking up Harry's rapier,
like a holy thing, I put it to my lips. For I had an
oath to swear, and I swore it aloud on that unsullied
blade, that, come what might, in joy and sorrow, by
land and sea, in life and death, I would never, by the
help of Harry's memory, do an act that would disgrace
the weapon which he had hallowed by true faith, and
love, and courtesy, and every knightly virtue.</p>
<p>I kissed the blade again, and, rising up, I put it in
my own scabbard. It fitted easily, as though it shunned
not its new resting-place. As I looked up I was
suddenly aware of Sergeant Culverin standing by my side.
His posture was as different as could be from that in
which I had last seen him. Soldierly he was as ever,
yet the childlike look was on his face behind the fierce
moustache, and he was saluting me.</p>
<p>'Has your worship any use for me ere I go?' he
said, very respectfully, and drawn up stiffly to his full
height.</p>
<p>I could have easily embraced the grim soldier for
that salute and those words. In the depth of my
degradation, when I so loathed myself that I felt I
should never dare to look an honest man in the
face again, I found this steadfast soul did not wholly
despise me. It seemed to me he was a sign sent, I
cannot say from God, for God was no more to me now,
but sent by some mysterious power of good that by
hazard I had conjured, to bid me hope my vow would
be fulfilled.</p>
<p>'Is your horse strong enough to go back to Ashtead?'
said I.</p>
<p>'Yes, your worship,' he answered; 'and as far again
in a good cause.'</p>
<p>'Then set the pillion saddle on him,' said I. The
Sergeant's childlike look grew very apparent and
smiling as I spoke. I thought at first he was about to
seize my hand, but he restrained himself and only rigidly
saluted as he went to do my bidding. So, hopefully
and with hardened heart, I went back to the guest
chamber of the inn.</p>
<p>She had left the place where I had seen her last, and
was sitting in the window, as though she had gone there
to look after Harry or me, I knew not which. How
beautiful she shone in the moonlight! I can think of
it quietly now. The silver flood fell full upon her, and
illumined her lovely face and form with so heavenly a
radiance in the dark chamber that she seemed to me
like some poor angel, weary of worship, who had strayed
from heaven. It was as though the eye of some great
spirit far away was turned upon her to draw her back
to the realms she had left; as though she saw the golden
gate whence she came, and, weighed down by the thick
and cloying vapours of earth, knew not how to take
wing back to the life she had loved and lost.</p>
<p>'Will you go back to-night,' said I, 'or wait for the
morning?'</p>
<p>She started then from her reverie, and turned on me
her sweet brown eyes, so wistfully and full of reproach
as almost to undo me.</p>
<p>'Must we go back, Jasper?' she said at last, so
submissively and in such beseeching tones that my head
swam and my breath came thick. Many a struggle I
have had in my changeful life, but never one like that.
It was only my new guardian that won the strife for
me. I clapped my hand to Harry's rapier, and, pressing
it mighty hard, found strength to say firmly, 'Yes!'</p>
<p>I think she saw what I did, for she stood up with
that stony calm which to me is far more terrible
than the wildest passion. Once she pressed her
little white hands to her eyes, and then drew them
slowly away, while I stood watching and waiting for
my answer.</p>
<p>'We will go now, Jasper,' she said at last. 'You are
right; we must go; but I can never have been to you
what you have been to me.'</p>
<p>Her words cut me like the hangman's lash on the
back of prisoner unjustly condemned. It was more
than I could bear to see her. It was past my strength
after these scourging words to choose the path that was
so hard and bitter before the one that was so easy and
sweet. I felt driven towards her. I sprang forwards
to take her tender form in my arms, and cover her
reproachful face with passionate kisses; to show her what
she had done; to show her what she was to me—more
than honour, more than duty, more than all the world;
to show her that I loved her.</p>
<p>I was at her side with arms wide open to enfold her;
in one last strife with myself I paused, and like a
thunderclap to my strained wits the Sergeant's knock
rattled out on the door, and I was saved. Clutching
the rapier by my side once more, I turned to see the
soldier's tall form appear in the doorway.</p>
<p>'Your bidding is done, sir,' said he.</p>
<p>'Then help Mrs. Waldyve to the saddle,' said I;
'we will walk by her side.'</p>
<p>With hanging head, and never a glance to me, she
went with tottering steps to the Sergeant, who lifted her
with loving gentleness into the saddle. Then we set
forward through the moonlight. Not a word was
spoken as we toiled along; not a sound broke the
stillness of the night, save the suck of our boots and the
horse's feet in the mire. So in silence, each communing
with his own thoughts, we came in the first gray
glimmer of the dawn to Ashtead, and in silence parted.</p>
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