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Marion, the Story of an Artist's Model

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<h2>XVI</h2> I HAD received, of course, a great many letters from Reggie, and I wrote to him every day. He expected to return in the fall, and he wrote that he was counting the days. He said very little in his letters about his people, though he must have known I was anxiously awaiting word as to how they had taken the news of our engagement. Toward the end of summer, his letters came less frequently, and, to my great misery, two weeks passed away when I had not word from him at all. I was feeling blue and heartsick and, but for my work at the Château, I think I would have done something desperate. I was really tremendously in love with Reggie and I worried and fretted over his long absence and silence. Then one day, in late September, a messenger boy came with a letter for me. It was from Reggie. He had returned from his trip, and was back in Montreal. Instead of being happy to receive his letter, I was filled with resentment and{93} indignation. He should have come himself and, in spite of what he wrote, I felt I could not excuse him. This was his letter: <div class="blockquot"> “Darling Girlie: I am counting the hours when I will be with you. I tried to get up to see you last night, but it was impossible. Lord Eaton’s son, young Albert, was on the steamer coming over, and they are friends of the governor’s and I simply had to be with them. You see, darling, it means a good deal to me in the future, to be in touch with these people. His brother-in-law, whom I met last night, is head cockalorum in the House of Parliament, and as I have often told you, my ambition is to get into politics. It’s the surest road to fame for a Barrister. Now I hope my foolish little girl will understand and believe me when I say that I am thinking for you as much as for myself. I am hungry for a kiss, and I feel I cannot wait till tonight. Your own, Reggie.” </div> For the first time in my life I experienced the pangs of jealousy and yet I was jealous of something tangible. It was lurking in my thought, and all sorts of suspicions and fears came into my hot head. When Reggie came that evening I did not open{94} the door as usual. I heard him say eagerly, when the children let him in: “Where’s Marion?” I was peeping over the banister, and I deliberately went back into the bedroom and counted five hundred before I went down to see him. He was walking excitedly up and down and as I came in he sprang to meet me, his arms outstretched; but I drew back coldly. Oh, how bitter I felt, and vindictive, too! “How do you do, Mr. Bertie,” I said. “Mr. Bertie! Marion, what does this mean?” He stared at me incredulously, and then I saw a look of amazement and suspicion come into his face, which had grown suddenly red as with rage. “Good God!” he cried. “Do you mean you don’t care for me any more? Then you must be in love with someone else.” “Reggie,” I sneered, “don’t try to cover up your own falseness by accusing me. You pretend to love me, and yet after all these months when you get back, you do not come to me, but go to see other women (I was guessing) and men.” I ended with a sob of rage, for I could see in Reggie’s face that my surmises were correct. He, however, exclaimed:{95} “Oh, that’s it, is it?” And before I could move, he had seized me impulsively in his arms and was kissing me again and again. I never could resist Reggie once he got his arms about me. I always became just as weak as a kitten and I think I would have believed anything he told me then. I just melted to him, as it were. He knew it well, the power of his strong arms about me, and whenever he wanted his way about anything with me he would pick me right up and hold me till I gave in. After a moment, with me still in his arms, he said: “It’s true I was with men and women, but that was not my fault. There’s such a thing as duty. I had no pleasure in their society. I was longing for you all the time, but I had to stay with them because they are influential people, and I want to use them to help me—us, Marion.” “Who were those women?” I demanded. “Only some friends of my family’s. They had a box at the theatre, and there was young Eaton, of course, and his sister and a cousin. They bored me to death, give you my word they did, darling. Come, come now, be good to your tired old Reggie.” I was glad to make up with him and, oh! infinitely happy to have him back. The great oceans of water that had been between us seemed to have melted away. Nevertheless, he had planted{96} a feeling in me that I could not entirely rid myself of, a feeling of distrust. Like a weed, it was to grow in my heart to terrible proportions.{97} <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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