<h2>CHAPTER III.</h2>
<h3><span class="smcap">A Lonely Struggle.</span></h3>
<div class="poem2"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"Thou must walk on, however man upbraid thee,<br/></span>
<span class="i2">With Him who trod the winepress all alone:<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Thou may'st not find one human hand to aid thee,<br/></span>
<span class="i2">One human soul to comprehend thy own."<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>A rough, stony uphill path, or rather track, under
grey-green olive trees, leading to a perfect tangle of
cypresses and pines. Somewhere in the tangle of cypresses
almost hidden from sight, lay a dilapidated ancient church,
which, long ago had been dedicated to the martyr Damian.
Up this stony track one day, stumbled Francis.</p>
<p>His was now a solitary life. He was a complete puzzle
to parents and friends, and, indeed to a great extent he
was a puzzle to himself. His life in his father's house
was far from pleasant. Pietro's vanity had received a
serious blow from what he regarded as his son's "ignominious"
return to Assisi. He had been more than
willing to give him ample means for every pleasure, so
that he might mingle on an equal footing with the young
nobles of the land, but to see his money given lavishly to
the beggars in the street, and the lepers in the lazar-houses
was more than he could stand. A serious, ever
widening breach had formed between father and son.
Pica, poor woman, knew that, sooner or later, a rupture
would come, and much as she loved her strange son, she
could do nothing to prevent it. There was literally no
one who could comprehend Francis, much less render him
any spiritual aid. One faithful companion there had
been, who used to follow him round into the woods when
he went to pray, and stand at the doors of caves and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</SPAN></span>
grottos until his season of meditation was over, but after a
time, this friend had been obliged to leave him. Francis
tried timidly to tell people a little of what God was dimly
revealing to him, but his—to them—vague ideas only
resulted in mocking smiles, and assurances that he was
rapidly becoming stark, staring mad! So had things
come about, that in spite of himself, Francis was thrown
entirely and solely upon his new found Lord.</p>
<div class="sidenote"><i>A Prayer and its Answer.</i></div>
<p>The cross lay heavy upon him that day, as he stumbled
up the tiny olive-shaded path, and lit upon the almost
ruined church. This was a direction Francis seldom
walked in, but to-day he had been so occupied with his
thoughts, that he scarcely knew where he was going.
Seeing the church, he passed in and knelt to pray.</p>
<p>"Great and glorious God," was his prayer; "and Thou,
Lord Jesus, I pray Thee, shed abroad Thy light in the
darkness of my mind. Be found of me, Lord, so that in
all things I may act only in accordance with Thy holy
will."</p>
<p>As he prayed, little by little a sense of peace, and a new
feeling of acceptance took possession of him. He had
known before that God had pardoned him for the past,
and was keeping him in the midst of trials and hourly
temptations, but this was something quite different. Jesus
accepted him, individually, his body as well as his soul, his
time, talents, all his being, and desired his labour and
assistance. The poor, lonely, crushed heart, was filled to
overflowing. He was conscious of a distinct union with
Christ. From this time forth, he was to know what it
meant to be crucified with Christ—to die daily.</p>
<p>As he knelt there among the ruins and decay, it seemed
to him that a voice spoke to his soul thus—</p>
<p>"Francis, dost thou see how my house is falling into
ruins? Go and set thyself to repair it."</p>
<p>"Most willingly, Lord," he answered, hardly knowing
what he said.</p>
<div class="sidenote"><i>For the Benefit of St. Damian's.</i></div>
<p>Now, respecting the incidents we are about to relate,
there are many and various theories. Some say the
revelation made to Francis, referred to the spiritual work<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</SPAN></span>
to which he had not as yet received his call, others there
are, who blame him and call him rash and hot-headed,
and accuse him of running before he was sent. We are
not prepared to give judgment one way or the other. God
has not promised us that we shall never make mistakes,
and if Francis made a mistake, God certainly over-ruled
it, and made it work to His glory, as He has promised
"all things" to work for those who love Him. Again,
God has His own ways of working, mysterious and curious
though they often seem to us, and what looks like "the
foolishness of men," often redounds to His greatest praise.
But to return to what really happened.</p>
<p>Francis rose from his knees, and sought the priest who
had charge of St. Damian's. He pressed all the money he
had about him into his hands, begged him to buy oil and
keep the lamp always burning, then rushed off home.
Saddling his horse, he loaded it with the most costly
stuffs he could find, and rode off into a neighbouring town,
where they found a ready market, and realized a goodly
sum. When his stuff was all sold, he disposed of his
horse too, and returning on foot to St. Damian's, he
placed a well-filled purse in the priest's hands, told him
with much satisfaction what he had done, and begged him
to have the church restored at once. To his utter consternation,
the priest refused, saying he dare not take so
large a sum unless Pietro Bernardone approved.</p>
<p>Poor Francis was in despair. He flung the money on a
window seat in disgust, and begged the priest at least to
give him a shelter for a few days. That much bewildered
man, hardly knowing what to say or do, consented, and
Francis took up his abode with him.</p>
<p>But not for long. Pietro, when he found his son
did not return home as usual, made enquiries and found
where he was located. He was very anxious and uneasy,
as he was sure now that his son was afflicted by a religious
mania, he would have to renounce all the high hopes
he had formed for him. However, he resolved to make a
determined effort to recover him, and set out with a large
party of friends to storm St. Damian's. They hoped that<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</SPAN></span>
Francis would listen to reason, and consent to follow them
back quietly to Assisi.</p>
<div class="sidenote"><i>A Lonely Struggle.</i></div>
<p>But Francis never waited to receive them. An uncontrollable
fear took possession of him, and he fled and hid
himself in a cavern he alone knew of. His father's party
ransacked the priest's abode, and all the country round,
but they had to return home baffled.</p>
<p>For a month, Francis remained shut up in the cavern.
An old servant who loved him dearly, was let into the
secret, and used to bring him food. During this month
he suffered intensely. It was the first time in his life he
had ever suffered contradiction—the first time in his life
he had ever had anyone really, openly opposed to him.
To be sure, people did not understand him, but they had
never shown him any animosity. A sense of utter failure
oppressed him. It was a hard trial to one of his temperament,
and if his consecration had not been very real, he
would never have stood the test.</p>
<p>He wept and prayed, and confessed his utter nothingness,
his weakness, his inability to accomplish anything of
himself. Never in his life had he felt weak and incapable
before. Then humbly he entreated that God would
enable him to accomplish His will, and not permit his
incapacity to frustrate God's designs for him. A consciousness
of Divine strength was manifested to him as
never before. It was as if a voice said, "I will be with
thee, fear not." Strengthened with a strength he never
knew heretofore, he came out of the cavern and made
straight for his father's house.</p>
<p>That day as Pietro Bernardone sat at work indoors, the
voice of a mighty tumult was borne in to him. Such a
clamour, and yelling, and shouting he never had heard
in Assisi in all his time! Rushing upstairs he looked out
of the window. It seemed as though the entire populace
had turned loose, and were buffeting someone in their
midst.</p>
<p>"A madman, a madman," yelled the crowd, and sticks
and stones and mud flew from all sides.</p>
<p>"A madman, a madman," echoed the children.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>Determined not to lose the fun, Pietro hastened out into
the street, joined the crowd, and discovered that his son
Francis was the madman in question! With a howl of
rage, he rushed upon him, dragged him into the house
with oaths and blows, and locked him up in a sort of
dungeon.</p>
<p>During the succeeding days, he and his wife did all they
could to persuade Francis to return to his old mode of life.
Pietro entreated and threatened, Pica wept and caressed,
but all in vain.</p>
<div class="sidenote"><i>A Command from God.</i></div>
<p>"I have received a command from God," was their
answer, and "I mean to carry it out."</p>
<p>At last, after some time, Pietro being absent for several
days on business, Pica unlocked the dungeon and let her
son go free.</p>
<p>When Pietro returned, he cursed his wife and set off to
St. Damian's to fetch Francis back. But Francis declined
to go. He said that he feared neither blows nor chains,
but God had given him a work to do, and nothing, nor
nobody would prevent him carrying out that mission.
Pietro was struck by his son's coolness, and seeing that
force would be no use, he went to the magistrates and
lodged a complaint against his son, desiring the magistrates
to recover the money that his son had given to the
church, and to oblige him to renounce in legal form all rights
of inheritance. The magistrates seem to have been much
shocked at Pietro's harshness, but they summoned Francis,
who would not appear. When asked to use violence, they
said—</p>
<p>"No, since your son has entered God's service, we have
nothing to do with his actions," and utterly refused to
have anything further to do with the case.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</SPAN></span></p>
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