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Red Wallflower

<h2 id="id03452" style="margin-top: 4em">CHAPTER XXXVIII.</h2> <h5 id="id03453"> LIFE PLANS.</h5> Happily or unhappily,—it was as people looked at it,—Pitt's free days in America were drawing to a close. There were few still remaining to him before he must leave Seaforth and home, and go back to his reading law in the Temple. In those days there was a little more discussion of his new views and their consequences between him and his mother, but not much; and none at all between him and his father. 'Pitt is not a fool,' he had said, when Mrs. Dallas, in her distress, confided to him Pitt's declaration; 'I can trust him not to make an ass of himself; and so can you, wife.' 'But he is very strong when he takes a thing in his head; always was.' 'This thing will get out of his head again, you will see.' 'I do not believe it. It isn't his way.' 'One thing is certain,—I shall never give my money to a fool to make ducks and drakes with; and you may hint as much to him.' 'It would be very unwise policy,' said Mrs. Dallas thoughtfully. 'Then let it alone. I have no idea there is any need. You may depend upon it, London and law will scare all this nonsense away, fast enough.' Mrs. Dallas felt no comforting assurance of the kind. She watched her son during the remaining days of his presence with them—watched him incessantly; so did Betty Frere, and so, in truth, secretly, did his father. Pitt was rather more quiet than usual; there was not much other change to be observed in him, or so Mrs. Dallas flattered herself. 'I see a difference,' said Miss Frere, to whom she communicated this opinion. 'What is it?' asked the mother hastily. For she had seen it too. 'It is not just easy to put it in words; but I see it. Mrs. Dallas, there is a wonderful rest come into his face.' 'Rest?' said the other. 'Pitt was never restless, in a bad sense; there was no keep still to him; but that is not what you mean.' 'That is not what I mean. I never in my life saw anybody look so happy.' 'Can't you do something with him?' 'He gives me no chance.' It may seem strange that a good mother should wish to interfere with the happiness of a good son; but neither she nor Miss Frere adverted to that anomaly. 'I should not wonder one bit,' said Mrs. Dallas bitterly, 'if he were to disinherit himself.' That would be bad, Betty agreed—deplorable; however, the thought of her own loss busied her most just now; not of what Pitt might lose. Two days before his departure all these various feelings of the various persons in the little family received a somewhat violent jar. It was evening. Miss Frere and Pitt had had a ride that afternoon—a long and very spirited one. It might be the last they would take together, and she had enjoyed it with the keenness of that consciousness; as a grain of salt intensifies sweetness, or as discords throw out the value of harmony. Pitt had been bright and lively as much as ever, the ride had been gay, and the one regret on Betty's mind as they dismounted was that she had not more time before her to try what she could do. Pitt, as yet at least, had not grown a bit precise or sanctimonious; he had not talked nonsense, indeed, but then he never had paid her the very poor compliment of doing that. All the more, she as well as the others was startled by what came out in the evening. All supper-time Pitt was particularly talkative and bright. Mrs. Dallas's face took a gleam from the brightness, and even Mr. Dallas roused up to bear his part in the conversation. When supper was done they still sat round the table, lingering in talk. Then, after a slight pause which had set in, Pitt leaned forward a little and spoke, looking alternately at one and the other of his parents. 'Mother,—father,—I wish you would do one thing before I go away.' At the change in his tone all three present had pricked up their ears, and every eye was now upon him. 'What is that, Pitt?' his mother said anxiously. 'Have family prayer.' If a bombshell had suddenly alighted on the table and there exploded, there would have been, no doubt, more feeling of fright, but not more of shocked surprise. Dumb silence followed. Angry eyes were directed towards the speaker from the top and from the bottom of the table. Miss Frere cast down hers with the inward thought, 'Oh, you foolish, foolish fellow! what did you do that for, and spoil everything!' Pitt waited a little. 'It is duty,' he said. 'You yourselves will grant me that.' 'And you fancy it is your duty to remind us of ours!' said his father, with contained scorn. The mother's agitation was violent—so violent that she had difficulty to command herself. What it was that moved her so painfully she could not have told; her thoughts were in too much of a whirl. Between anger, and fear, and something else, she was in the greatest confusion, and not able to utter a syllable. Betty sat internally railing at Pitt's folly. 'The only question is, Is it duty?—in either case,' the son said steadfastly. 'Exactly!' said his father. 'Well, you have done yours; and I will do mine.' His wife wondered at his calmness, and guessed that it was studied. Neither of them was prepared for Pitt's next word. 'Will you?' he said simply. 'And will you let me make a beginning now? Because I am going away?' 'Do what you like,' said the older man, with indescribable expression. Betty interpreted it to be restrained rage. His wife thought it was a moved conscience, or mere policy and curiosity; she could not tell which. The words were enough, however, whatever had moved them. Pitt took a Bible and read, still sitting at the table, the Parable of the Talents; and then he kneeled down. The elder Dallas never stirred. Betty knelt at once. Mrs. Dallas sat still at first, but then slipped from her chair to the floor and buried her face in her hands, where tears that were exceedingly bitter flowed beyond all her power to hinder them. For Pitt was praying, and to his mother's somewhat shocked astonishment, not in any words from a book, but in words—where did he get them?—that broke her heart. They were solemn and sweet, tender and simple; there was neither boldness nor shyness in them, although there was a frankness at which Mrs. Dallas wondered, along with the tenderness that quite subdued her. The third one kneeling there was moved differently. The fountain of her tears was not touched at all, neither had she any share in the passion of displeasure which filled the father and mother. Yet she was in a disturbance almost as complete as theirs. It was a bitter and secret trouble, which as a woman she had to keep to herself, over which her head bowed as she knelt there. Just for that minute she might bow her head and confess to her trouble, while no one could see; and her head, poor girl, went low. She did not in the least approve of Pitt's proceedings; she did not sympathize with his motives; at the same time they did not make her like him the less. On the contrary, and Betty felt it was on the contrary, she could not help admiring his bravery, and she was almost ready to worship his strength. Somebody brave enough to avow truth that is unwelcome, and strong enough to do what goes against the grain with himself; such a person is not to be met with every day, and usually excites the profound respect of his fellows, even when they do not like him. But Betty liked this one, and liked him the more for doing the things she disliked, and it drove her to the bounds of desperation to feel that in the engrossment of his new principles he was carried away from her, and out of her power. Added to all this was the extreme strangeness of the present experience. Absolutely kneeling round the dinner-table!—kneeling to pray! Betty had never known such a thing, nor conceived the possibility of such a thing. In an unconsecrated place, led by unconsecrated lips, in words nowhere set down; what could equal the irregularity and the impropriety? The two women, in their weakness, kneeling, and the master of the house showing by his unmoved posture that he disallowed the whole thing! Incongruous! unfortunate! I am bound to say that Betty understood little of the words she so disapproved; the sea under a stormy wind is not more uneasy than was her spirit; and towards the end her one special thought and effort was bent upon quieting the commotion, and at least appearing unmoved. She was pretty safe, for the other members of the family had each enough to busy him without taking much note of her. Pitt had but a day or two more to stay; and Miss Frere felt an irresistible impulse to force him into at least one talk more. She hardly knew what she expected, or what she wished from it; only, to let him go so, without one more word, was unbearable. She wanted to get nearer to him, if she could, if she might not bring him nearer to her; and at any rate she wanted the bitter-sweet pleasure of arguing with him. Nothing might come of it, but she must have the talk if she could. So she took the first chance that offered. The family atmosphere was a little oppressive the next morning; and after breakfast Mr. and Mrs. Dallas both disappeared. Betty seized her opportunity, and reminded Pitt that he had never showed her his particular room, his old workshop and play place. 'It was not much to see,' he said; however, he took her through the house, and up the open flight of steps, where long ago Esther had been used to go for her lessons. The room looked much as it had done at that time; for during Pitt's stay at home he had pulled out one thing after another from its packing or hiding place; and now, mounted birds and animals, coins, shells, minerals, presses, engravings, drawings, and curiosities, made a delightful litter; delightful, for it was not disorderly; only gave one the feeling of a wealth of tastes and pursuits, every one of them pursued to enjoyment. Betty studied the place and the several objects in it with great and serious attention. 'And you understand all these things!' said she. 'So little, that I am ashamed to speak of it.' 'I know!' said Betty; 'that is what nobody says whose knowledge is small. It takes a good deal of knowing to perceive how much one does not know.' 'That is true.' 'And what becomes of all these riches when you are gone away?' 'They remain in seclusion. I must pack them up to-day. It is a job I have reserved to the last, for I like to have them about while I am here.' He began as he spoke to put away some little articles, and got out paper to wrap up others. 'And how came you by all these tastes? Mr. and Mrs. Dallas do not share them, I think.' 'No. Impossible to say. Inherited from some forgotten ancestor, perhaps.' 'Were there ever any Independents or Puritans among your ancestors?' 'No!' said Pitt, with a laughing look at her. 'The record is clean, I believe, on both sides of the house. My mother has not that on her conscience.' 'But you sympathize with such supposititious ancestors?' 'Why do you say so?' 'Mr. Pitt,' said Betty, sitting down and folding her hands seriously in her lap, 'I wish you would let me ask you one thing.' 'Ask it certainly,' said he. 'But it is really not my business; only, I am puzzled, and interested, and do not know what to think. You will not be displeased?' 'I think I can answer for that.' 'Then do tell me why, when you are just going away and cannot carry it on, you should have done what you did last night?' 'As I am just going away, don't you see, it was my only chance.' 'But I do not understand why you did it. You knew it would be something like an earthquake; and what is the use of earthquakes?' 'You remember the Eastern theory—Burmese, is it? or Siamese?—according to which the world rests on the heads of four elephants; when one of the elephants shakes his head, there is an earthquake. But must not the elephant therefore move his head?' 'But the world does not rest on your head.' 'I do not forget that,' said Pitt gravely. 'Not the world, but a small piece of it does rest on my head, as on that of every other human creature. On the right position and right movement of every one of us depends more than we know. What we have to do is to keep straight and go straight.' 'But did you think it was duty to do what you did last night?' 'I did it in that faith.' 'I wish you would explain to me!' cried the lady. 'I cannot understand. I believe you, of course; but why did you think it duty? It just raised a storm; you know it did; they did not like it; and it would only make them more opposed to your new principles. I do not see how it could do any good.' 'Yes,' said Pitt, who meanwhile was going on with his packing and putting away. 'I know all that. But don't you think people ought to show their colours, as much as ships at sea?' 'Ships at sea do not always show their colours.' 'If they do not, when there is occasion, it is always ground for suspicion. It shows that they are for some reason either afraid or ashamed to announce themselves.' 'I do not understand!' said Miss Frere perplexedly. 'Why should you show your colours?' 'I said I was moved by duty to propose prayers last night. It was more than that.' Pitt stopped in his going about the room and stood opposite his fair opponent, if she can be called so, facing her with steady eyes and a light in them which drew her wonder. 'It was more than duty. Since I have come to see the goodness of Christ, and the happiness of belonging to Him, I wish exceedingly that everybody else should see it and know it as I do.' 'And, if I remember, you intimated once that it was to be the business of your life to make them know it?' 'What do you think of that purpose?' 'It seems to me extravagant.' 'Otherwise, fanatical!' 'I would not express it so. But what are clergymen for, if this is your business?' 'To whom was the command given?' 'To the apostles and their successors.' 'No, it was given to the whole band of disciples; the order to go into all the world and make disciples of every creature.' 'All the disciples!' 'And to all the disciples that other command was given,—"Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them." And of all the things that a man can want and desire to have given him, there is nothing comparable for preciousness to the knowledge of Christ.' 'But, Mr. Dallas, this is not the general way of thinking?' 'Among those who'—he paused—'who are glad in the love of Christ, I think it must be.' 'Then what are those who are not "glad" in that way?' 'Greatly to be pitied!' There was a little pause. Pitt went on busily with his work. Betty sat and looked at him, and looked at the varieties of things he was putting under shelter or out of the way. One after another, all bearing their witness to the tastes and appetite for knowledge possessed by the person who had gathered them together. Yes, if Pitt was not a scientist, he was very fond of sciences; and if he were not to be called an artist in some kinds, he was full of feeling for art. What an anomaly he was! how very unlike this room looked to the abode of a fanatic! 'What is to become of all these things?' she asked, pursuing her thoughts. 'They will be safe here till I return.' 'But I mean— You do not understand me. I was thinking rather, what would become of all the tastes and likings to which they bear evidence? How do they match with your new views of things?' 'How do they not match?' said Pitt, stopping short. 'You spoke of giving up all things, did you not?' 'The Bible does,' said Pitt, smiling. 'But that is, if need be for the service or honour of God. Did you think they were to be renounced in all cases?' 'Then what did you mean?' 'The Bible means, evidently, that we are to be so minded, toward them and toward God, that we are ready to give them up and do give them up just so far and so fast as His service calls for it. That is all, and it is enough!' Betty watched him a little longer, and then began again. 'You say, it is to be the business of your life to—well, how shall I put it?—to set people right, in short. Why don't you begin at the beginning, and attack me?' 'I don't know how to point my guns.' 'Why? Do you think me such a hard case?' He hesitated, and said 'Yes.' 'Why?' she asked again, with a mixture of mortification and curiosity. 'Your defences have withstood all I have been able to bring to bear in the shape of ordnance.' 'Why do you say that? I have been very much interested in all I have heard you say.' 'I know that; and not in the least moved.' Betty was vexed. Had her tactics failed so utterly? Did Pitt think she was a person quite and irremediably out of his plane, and inaccessible to the interests which he ranked first of all? She had wanted to get nearer to him. Had she so failed? She would not let the tears come into her eyes, but they were ready, if she would have let them. 'So you give me up!' she said. 'I have no alternative.' 'You have lost all hope of me?' 'No. But at present your eyes are so set in another direction that you will not look the way I have been pointing you. Of course, you do not see what I see.' 'In what direction are my eyes so set?' 'I will not presume to tell Miss Frere what she knows so much better than I do.' Betty bit her lip. 'What is in that cabinet?' she asked suddenly. 'Coins.' 'Oh, coins! I never could see the least attractiveness in coins.' 'That was because—like some other things—they were not looked at.' 'Well, what is the interest of them?' 'To find out, I am afraid you must give them your attention. They are like witnesses, stepping out from the darkness of the past and telling the history of it—history in which they moved and had a part, you understand.' 'But the history of the past is not so delightful, is it, that one would care much about hearing the witnesses? What is in that other cabinet, where you are standing?' 'That contains my herbarium.' 'All that? You don't mean that all those drawers are filled with dried flowers?' 'Pretty well filled. There is room for some more.' 'How you must have worked!' 'That was play.' 'Then what do you call work?' 'Well, reading law rather comes into that category.' 'You expect to go on reading law?' 'For the present. I approve of finishing things when they are begun.' 'Mr. Dallas, what are you going to do? In what, after all, are you going to be unlike other men? Your mother seems to apprehend some disastrous and mysterious change in all your prospects; I cannot see the necessity of that. In what are you going to be other than she wishes you to be? Are not her fears mistaken?' Pitt smiled a grave smile; again stopped in his work and stood opposite her. 'I might say "yes" and "no,"' he answered. 'I do not expect to have a red cross embroidered on my sleeve, like the old crusaders. But judge yourself. Can those who live to do the will of God be just like those whose one concern is to do their own will?' 'Mr. Dallas, you insinuate, or your words might be taken to insinuate, that all the rest of us are in the latter class!' 'Whose will do you do?' he said. There was no answer, for Betty had too much pluck to speak falsely, and too much sense not to know what was truth. She accordingly did not say anything, and after waiting a minute or two Pitt went on with his preparations, locking up drawers, packing up boxes, taking down and putting away the many objects that filled the room. There was not a little work of this sort to be done, and he went on with it busily, and with an evidently trained and skilled hand. 'Then, after finishing with law, do you expect to come back here and unpack all these pretty things again?' she said finally. 'Perhaps. I do not know.' 'Perhaps you will settle in England?' 'I do not yet know what is the work that I have to do in the world. I shall know, but I do not know now. It may be to go to India, or to Greenland; or it may be to come here. Though I do not now see what I should do in Seaforth that would be worth living for.' India or Greenland! For a young man who was heir to no end of money, and would have acres of land! Miss Betty perceived that here was something indeed very different from the general run of rich young men, and that Mrs. Dallas had not been so far wrong in her forebodings. 'How very absurd!' she said to herself as she went away down the open staircase; 'and what a pity!' <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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