<p class="indent"><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page288" id="page288"></SPAN>[pg 288]</span></p>
<p class="h2">CHAPTER XXII<br/>
THE MARRIED MAN</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">Come, all you true-born country lads, I'll sing a song to you,</span><br/>
<span class="i0">You'll like to hear it one and all, for what I say is true;</span><br/>
<span class="i0">The turf is wet upon the bog, the snow is on the farm,</span><br/>
<span class="i0">You'd better take a wife to bed, she's sure to keep you warm;</span><br/>
<span class="i0">She will not want for golden chains from any pedlar's pack,</span><br/>
<span class="i0">When she will have your two strong arms clasped tight around her neck;</span><br/>
<span class="i0">Believe me, all who hear these words, believe me young and old,</span><br/>
<span class="i0">'Tis snug and warm to have a wife when Winter days are cold.</span><br/></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">(<i>From an old "Come all ye."</i>)</span><br/></div>
</div>
<p class="indent">"Where can I begin and tell everything?"
said Fitzgerald, breaking a
piece of bread and bringing it up
to within an inch of his mouth. "I suppose that
night when I was buried in the dug-out will do to
start with. 'Twas the devil's own night. I got
lost first of all, and me going up with a message
to Captain Thorley. 'Twas very important, a
mine going up in the morning. So the young
German prisoner whom we had taken said.
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page289" id="page289"></SPAN>[pg 289]</span>
Therefore, our men holding the front line had to
retire for safety to the support trenches. So up
I goes from Headquarters, running like hell (I'm
getting ungrammatically excited, Spudhole) and
gets lost. Took the wrong turning, flops into a
trench that was full of muck. I stuck there for
goodness knows how long, holding on to the
piece of paper on which the message was
scrawled. I thought I was a permanent fixture,
stuck in that trench for duration. But somehow I
did get free and eventually found myself in our
front line. How I got there I don't know. I mind
seeing you, Spudhole."</p>
<p class="indent">"There was some dirt coming along our way
at that time," said Bubb.</p>
<p class="indent">"'Twas that shell that did it," said Fitzgerald,
gazing absently at his piece of bread, which he
still held between finger and thumb. "Someone
said 'Whoo! There she comes!' and there
was a rush for the dug-out. I got mixed up in
the scramble and was carried in with the rest.
But I still clung on to my message. Then the
shell came down on the dug-out and I was out of
the doings, just like a gutted sprat.</p>
<p class="indent">"As far as I can judge I was underground that
night, the next day, the night after, and got pulled
out the day following at twelve o'clock. Some
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page290" id="page290"></SPAN>[pg 290]</span>
men of the regiment that relieved us saw a bayonet
that stuck up through the roof of the fallen
dug-out move as if someone was shaking it."</p>
<p class="indent">"I saw that 'ere bay'net," said Bubb. "Stickin'
up over the roof."</p>
<p class="indent">"Well, these fellows, when they saw the bayonet
wobbling, guessed that someone was alive
under the ground, and they began to dig like hell,"
said Fitzgerald.</p>
<p class="indent">"Eventually they reached me, still alive, with
a wound on the back of my head, and they pulled
me out. The air had got in somehow, I suppose....
Well, I came to my senses in hospital in
Versailles, and I got up, so I was told, and rushed
along the ward like hell, with a nurse or two
clinging to my shirt tail. 'Where are you running?'
they asked me. 'I'm going on a message
to Captain Thorley,' I told them. 'There's a
mine going up at dawn.' 'Oh, that's all right,'
said the nurses. 'Captain Thorley has got the
message and everything's all right.' And they
wheedled me and coaxed me until I went back to
bed.</p>
<p class="indent">"So I was told; but I didn't remember anything
about it. Even now my mind gets mazed
at times when I'm excited, and queer ideas come
into my head."</p>
<p class="indent"><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page291" id="page291"></SPAN>[pg 291]</span>
"You haven't eaten one bite yet," said Bowdy
Benners. "That bit of bread hasn't gone into
your mouth, and we've been sitting here for the
last ten minutes."</p>
<p class="indent">"Well, I'm not hungry," said Fitzgerald. "I'm
feeding on the pleasure of seeing you two here.
Fifi, the wine!" he called to his wife.</p>
<p class="indent">The woman brought a large bottle, placed it on
the table, and patted her husband on the head
with an affectionate hand.</p>
<p class="indent">"She's a divine creature," said Fitzgerald,
when Fifi went. "How did it happen that the
gods were so good to me? I don't know....
But to get on with my story," he continued.
"After a while I found myself in England. I
don't even remember crossing the Channel. I
was in a muddle all the while. Sometimes I would
think I was in the trenches and I would wake up
from my sleep, jump out on the floor and stand
against the wall, thinking that I was on the firestep
on guard. I must have been a troublesome
patient.... And then one night when I was in
a big bed in a big house in England I thought
that somebody put a cold hand over my forehead.
I shouted out 'Who's there?' I opened my eyes,
looked up and saw a man with a black beard
standing at my bed.</p>
<p class="indent"><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page292" id="page292"></SPAN>[pg 292]</span>
"'Who are you ?' I asked.</p>
<p class="indent">"'Your Sergeant-major,' said the man. 'I
want you to present arms,' he said. 'At the
word "one" you give the rifle a sharp cant up
to the right side, gripping it at the small of the
butt with the right hand and at the outer band
with the left....' I stared at the fellow
and this seemed to annoy him. 'Dumb contempt!'
he yelled. 'You'll be for it!' and
he raised his fist and made one smash at my face.
I dodged the blow and then a man in a warder's
uniform rushed in and pulled the sergeant-major
away.</p>
<p class="indent">"Good God, Bowdy, where was I? Guess.
I was in a lunatic asylum.... 'Twas enough
to turn my brain. And it's a difficult job to
prove that you're sane when you're in a madhouse.
They won't believe you, for some
damned reason or another. I used to go up to
the warder and say: 'Look here, matey, I'm as
right as rain,' and he would nod his head and
say: 'Oh, yes, of course you are.' But 'twas
easy enough to see that he didn't believe you.
God! I often felt like strangling the man....
It wouldn't do me any good, I knew, to kick
up a ruction; so I kept very quiet and well-behaved.</p>
<p class="indent"><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page293" id="page293"></SPAN>[pg 293]</span>
"At the end of six weeks I was discharged
and sent to a convalescent camp; not as good as
the one that Flanagan had been in when he got
wounded. Impossible to swing the lead there. I
got sick of it in no time, so I applied for a transfer
to the B.E.F., somewhere in France.</p>
<p class="indent">"'Do you really want to go out there again?'
my mates asked me.</p>
<p class="indent">"'Of course I do,' I told them.</p>
<p class="indent">"'Then you must be mad,' they said.</p>
<p class="indent">"But I had no luck with my application. 'Out
to the trenches again,' said the M.O. Tut, tut,
man! I'll bring you before a Board and see
what it says.'</p>
<p class="indent">"The Board said 'Discharge' and I was discharged
with a pension. So there I was out on
my own, a wash-out. Patrick Fitzgerald, pensioner,
non bon, one that had done his bit, who
had been through the thick of it, in the doings,
a brave boy, lion-hearted, and so on. My friends
took me into their arms and made no end of a
fuss of me. England had reason to be proud of
her sons, they said, and took me about to swell
dinners."</p>
<p class="indent">"Just like ole Flan when 'e was at 'ome," said
Bubb.</p>
<p class="indent">"I hobnobbed with big bugs," Fitzgerald
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page294" id="page294"></SPAN>[pg 294]</span>
continued, "grand old men who were in the
know and who knew everything, having inside
information; well-dressed women who preached
economy to the masses, who denied themselves
luxuries which they were healthier without, who
rode on common buses and advertised the fact,
and who travelled by tube as an example to
those who always travel by tube. Nobody paid
much heed to them as far as I could see. The
people with whom I stopped denied themselves
the services of a butler and took in his place an
extra female servant. They were very rich, and
self-denial was their greatest craze. In furthering
their country's cause they displayed as much
ingenuity as a cautious billiard player who just
misses the balls. I grew tired of it all, wearied
to death," said Fitzgerald, placing his bread on
the table and pulling the wine bottle towards him.
He pulled out the cork, filled his mates' glasses,
but took no notice of his own.</p>
<p class="indent">"It doesn't do for me to take any now," he
said, in an apologetic voice. "It goes to here."
He tapped his head with his fingers.</p>
<p class="indent">"There was once," said Bubb....</p>
<p class="indent">"Yes, but that's a thing of the past," said
Fitzgerald. "I did go into a pub when I was
in London. I wanted to have a yarn with the
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page295" id="page295"></SPAN>[pg 295]</span>
Old Sweats who frequented the taproom. I
made them merry and they carried me home.
'Twasn't honey after that. Old Fitz, the boy
who had been through the thick of it and who
had done his bit, was rather a burden to his
friends. He had wild ways; his manners were
unbecoming, he had said dreadful things when
under the influence of alcohol. My friends took
me aside, lectured me and suggested that if I
was placed in a little cottage somewhere out of
sight, given a few pounds in addition to my pension,
I would be much happier....</p>
<p class="indent">"I left them; the brave boy who had done his
bit and who went through the thick of it vamoosed.
I didn't even wait for the additional
few pounds.... Then an uncle of mine died
and left me six hundred pounds. I collared this,
wrote to Fifi, whom I had not forgotten....
She remembered me.... Her father was
killed at Verdun. What could I do but come
over and see her? 'Twas an easy matter then.
I had some money, I loved her; so we got married.
She's a grand woman, Bowdy. I didn't
understand her when we were billeted here; I
don't even understand her yet.... Oh, how
she misses her father, but she bears it as a
Frenchwoman can. I tried to console her at
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page296" id="page296"></SPAN>[pg 296]</span>
first, but I say nothing about her loss now. First
she used to say, when we spoke about her father's
death: 'C'est la guerre,' but now it's different.
It's now: 'He died for France and it's an honour
to die for one's country.'"</p>
<p class="indent">Bubb filled his glass, Bowdy did the same. The
two soldiers looked at one another, then at Fitzgerald.
Fifi came up to the table.</p>
<p class="indent">Bowdy raised his glass in the air, Bubb followed
suit.</p>
<p class="indent">"Here's to Fitzgerald," said Bowdy.</p>
<p class="indent">"And to Fifi," said Spudhole.</p>
<p class="indent">"Long life and happiness——"</p>
<p class="indent">"And no end of 'appy children——"</p>
<p class="indent">"Victory for the Allies!"</p>
<p class="indent">"And 'ell for the Boche!" said Spudhole, bringing
the glass of wine to his lips.</p>
<p class="h2">THE END</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />