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Regiment of Women

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<h2>CHAPTER XXXVIII</h2> Alwynne was out of the train a dangerous quarter minute before it came to a standstill, and making for the bunch of violets that bloomed perennially in Elsbeth's bonnet. There followed a sufficiency of kissing. It was like a holiday home-coming, thought Alwynne, of not so very long ago. But not so long ago she would have been exclusively occupied with Elsbeth, and her luggage, and her forgotten compartment; would not have turned impatiently from her aunt to scan the length of the platform. Not a sign of Clare? And Clare had promised to meet her.... She prolonged as long as she might her business with porters and ticket collectors and outside-men, but Clare did not appear; and she left the station at last, at her aunt's side, sedately enough, with the edge off the pleasure of her home-coming. A telegram on the hall stand, however, contented her. Clare was sorry; Clare was delayed; would be away another four days; was writing. Alwynne shook off her black dog, and the meeting with Clare still delightfully ahead of her, was able to devote herself altogether to Elsbeth. Elsbeth spent a gay four days with an Alwynne grown rosy and cheerful, affectionate and satisfyingly garrulous again; found it very pleasant to have Alwynne to herself, her own property, even for four days. Elsbeth might know that she was second fiddle still, but though it cost her something to realise that she could never be first fiddle again, she could be content to give place to Roger Lumsden. She shook her head over her inconsistency. She could school herself, rather than lose the girl's confidence, to accept Clare Hartill as the main theme of Alwynne's conversation, till she was weary of the name, but she could not hear enough of Roger.[333] All that Alwynne let fall of incident, description, or approval—Roger, Elsbeth discovered, had, in common with Clare, no faults whatever—she stored up to compare, when Alwynne had gone to bed, with letters, half-a-dozen by this time, that she kept locked up, with certain other, older letters, in the absurd little secret drawer of her desk. And she would patter across into Alwynne's room at last, to tuck in a sheet or twitch back a coverlet or merely to pretend to herself that Alwynne was a baby still, and so, with a smile and a sigh, to her own room, to make her plain toilet and to say her selfless prayers to God and her counterpane. Happy days and nights—four happy days and nights for Elsbeth. Then Clare came back. It was natural that Alwynne should meet her and go home with her, portmanteau in hand, to spend a night or two.... Elsbeth agreed that it was natural.... Three nights or even four.... But when a week passed, with no sign from Alwynne but a meagre, apologetic postcard, Elsbeth thought that she had good cause for anger. Not, of course, with Alwynne ... never, be it understood, with Alwynne ... but most certainly with Clare Hartill. Alwynne was so fatally good-natured.... Clare, she supposed, had kept the child by a great show of needing her help.... Of course, school was beginning, had begun already.... Clare would find Alwynne useful enough.... No doubt it was pleasant to have some one at her beck and call again in these busy first days of term.... Possibly—probably—oh, she conceded the "probably"—Clare had missed Alwynne badly.... Had not Elsbeth, too, missed Alwynne? But she answered Alwynne's postcard affectionately as usual. If Alwynne were happier with Clare, Elsbeth would given no hint of loneliness. A hint, she knew, would suffice. Alwynne had a sense of duty. But she wanted free-will offering from Alwynne, not tribute. In spite of herself, however, something of bitterness crept[334] into her next note to Roger Lumsden, who had inveigled her, she hardly knew how, into regular correspondence. Her remark that Alwynne has been away ten days now, was set down baldly, with no veiling sub-sentences of explanation or excuse. Had she but known it, however, she was not altogether just to Alwynne. The first hours of reunion did certainly drive her aunt out of Alwynne's mind, but after a couple of days she was ready to remind herself and Clare that Elsbeth, too, had some claim on her time. It is possible, however, that had she been happier, she would have been less readily scrupulous. Clare had certainly been glad to see her, had, for an hour or two, been entirely delightful. But with the resumption of their mutual life Clare was not long in falling back into her old bad ways, and in revenge for her two months' boredom, in sheer teasing high spirits at Alwynne's return, as well as in unreasoning, petulant jealousy, led Alwynne a pretty enough dance. For Clare was jealous, jealous of these eight weeks of Alwynne's youth that did not belong to her, and between her jealousy and her own contempt for her jealousy, was in one of the moods that she and Alwynne alike dreaded. The mornings at the school came as a relief to them both, but no sooner were they together again than Clare's pricking devil must out. Scenes were incessant—wanton, childish scenes. Yet Alwynne, sore and bewildered as she was by Clare's waxing unreasonableness, was yet not proof against the sudden surrenders that always contrived to put her in the wrong. She would repeat to herself that it must be she who was unreasonable, that she should be flattered rather than distressed, for instance, that Clare would not let her go home.... She would rather be with Clare than Elsbeth, wouldn't she? Of course! well, then!... Nevertheless she could not help wondering if any letters had come for her; if Elsbeth, expecting her daily, would bother to send them on.... Roger had promised to write.... She thought that really she ought to go home.[335] But Clare would not hear of her leaving. Elsbeth wanted Alwynne? So did she. Didn't Elsbeth always have Alwynne? Surely Alwynne was old enough to be away from Elsbeth for a fortnight, without leave granted! Really, with all due respect to her, Alwynne's aunt was a regular Old Man of the Sea. "Clare!" Alwynne's tone had a hint of remonstrance. "Oh, I said 'with all respect.' But if she were not your aunt I should really be tempted to get rid of her—have you here altogether. You would like that, Alwynne, eh?" Alwynne refused to nod, but she laughed. "'Get rid'? Clare, don't be absurd." Clare looked at her, smiling, eyes narrowed in the old way. "Do you think I couldn't get rid of her if I wanted to? I always do what I set out to do. Look at Henrietta Vigers." Alwynne sat bolt upright. "Miss Vigers? But she resigned! She had been meaning to leave! She told us so! Do you mean that she didn't want to leave? Do you mean that she had to?" "Have you ever seen a liner launched? You press an electric button, you know—just a touch—it's awfully simple——" She paused, eyes dancing. But Alwynne had no answering twinkle. "I wouldn't have believed it," she said slowly. Then, distractedly, "But why, Clare, why? What possessed you?" "She got in my way," said Clare indolently. Alwynne turned on her, eyes blazing. "You mean to say—you deliberately did that poor old thing out of her job? If you did——But I don't believe it. If you did——Clare, excuse me—but I think it was beastly." "Demon! With the highest respect to you——" quoted Clare, tongue in cheek. But Alwynne was not to be pacified. "Clare—you didn't, did you?"[336] "My dear, she was in the way. She worried you and you worried me. I don't like being worried." Alwynne shivered. "Don't, Clare! I hate you to talk like that—even in fun. It's—it's so cold-blooded." "In fun!" Clare laughed lightly. Alwynne's youthful severity amused her. But she had gone, she perceived, a trifle too far. "Well, then, in earnest—joking apart——" Alwynne's face relaxed. Of course, she had known all along that Clare was in fun.... "Joking apart—it was time for Miss Vigers to go. I admit saying what I thought to Miss Marsham. I am quite ready to take responsibility. She was too old—too fussy—too intolerant—I can't stand intolerance. She had to go." Alwynne looked wicked. "Clare, you remind me of a man I met, down at Compton. You ought to get on together. He's great on tolerance too. So tolerant that five hundred years ago he'd have burned every one who wasn't as tolerant as he. As it is, he shrugs them out of existence, à la Podsnap. Just as you did Miss Vigers just now." "Who was he?" "Don't know—only met him once. But he tickled me awfully. He hadn't the faintest idea how funny he was." "Did he shrug you out of existence?" "My dear Clare—could any one snub me? You might as well snub a rubber ball." "Yes, you're pretty thick-skinned." Clare paid her back reflectively. Alwynne winced. "Am I? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be. How, just now?" Clare yawned. "Well, for one thing, you needn't flavour your conversation exclusively with Denes. They bore me worse than if they had an 'a' in them." "I'm sorry." Alwynne paused. Then she plucked up[337] courage. "Clare, I stayed there two months. The Dene people are my friends, my great friends. I don't think you need sneer at them." Clare yawned again. "I wonder you ever came back, if they're so absorbing. What is the particular attraction there, by the way? The old women or the young men?" Alwynne's lips quivered. "Clare, what has happened? What is the matter with you nowadays? Why are you grown so different? Why are you always saying unkind things?" Clare shrugged her shoulders. "Really, Alwynne, I am not accustomed to be cross-examined. Such a bore, giving reasons. Besides, I haven't got any. Oh, don't look such a martyr." "I think I'll go home," said Alwynne in a low voice. "I don't think you want me." "But Elsbeth does, doesn't she?" Clare settled herself more comfortably in the comfortable Chesterfield as she watched Alwynne out of the room. She lay like a sleepy cat, listening to the muffled sounds of Alwynne's packing; let her get ready to her hat and her gloves and the lacing of her boots, before she called her back, and played with her, and forgave her at the last. Yet she found Alwynne less pliable than usual: convicted of sin, she was yet resolved on departure, if not to-day—no, of course she would not go to-day, after behaving so ill to her Clare—then, the day following. That would be Friday—a completed fortnight—and Saturday was Clare's birthday—had Clare forgotten? Alwynne hadn't, anyhow. Oh, she must come for Saturday, and what would Elsbeth say to that? There must be one evening, at least, given to Elsbeth in between. After all, it was jolly dull for Elsbeth all by herself. Clare, good-tempered for the first time that afternoon, supposed it was, rather. But on that particular day, Alwynne's qualms of conscience[338] were unnecessary. Elsbeth was not at all dull. Elsbeth, on the contrary, was tremendously excited. And Elsbeth had forgotten all about Alwynne, was not missing her in the least. Elsbeth had received a letter from Dene that morning, and was expecting Roger Lumsden to supper. <hr style="width: 65%;" /> [339] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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