<h2><SPAN name="chap49"></SPAN>Chapter IV.<br/> In The Dark</h2>
<p>Where was he running? “Where could she be except at Fyodor
Pavlovitch’s? She must have run straight to him from Samsonov’s,
that was clear now. The whole intrigue, the whole deceit was evident.”
... It all rushed whirling through his mind. He did not run to Marya
Kondratyevna’s. “There was no need to go there ... not the
slightest need ... he must raise no alarm ... they would run and tell
directly.... Marya Kondratyevna was clearly in the plot, Smerdyakov too, he
too, all had been bought over!”</p>
<p>He formed another plan of action: he ran a long way round Fyodor
Pavlovitch’s house, crossing the lane, running down Dmitrovsky Street,
then over the little bridge, and so came straight to the deserted alley at the
back, which was empty and uninhabited, with, on one side the hurdle fence of a
neighbor’s kitchen‐garden, on the other the strong high fence, that ran
all round Fyodor Pavlovitch’s garden. Here he chose a spot, apparently
the very place, where according to the tradition, he knew Lizaveta had once
climbed over it: “If she could climb over it,” the thought, God
knows why, occurred to him, “surely I can.” He did in fact jump up,
and instantly contrived to catch hold of the top of the fence. Then he
vigorously pulled himself up and sat astride on it. Close by, in the garden
stood the bath‐house, but from the fence he could see the lighted windows of
the house too.</p>
<p>“Yes, the old man’s bedroom is lighted up. She’s
there!” and he leapt from the fence into the garden. Though he knew
Grigory was ill and very likely Smerdyakov, too, and that there was no one to
hear him, he instinctively hid himself, stood still, and began to listen. But
there was dead silence on all sides and, as though of design, complete
stillness, not the slightest breath of wind.</p>
<p>“And naught but the whispering silence,” the line for some reason
rose to his mind. “If only no one heard me jump over the fence! I think
not.” Standing still for a minute, he walked softly over the grass in the
garden, avoiding the trees and shrubs. He walked slowly, creeping stealthily at
every step, listening to his own footsteps. It took him five minutes to reach
the lighted window. He remembered that just under the window there were several
thick and high bushes of elder and whitebeam. The door from the house into the
garden on the left‐hand side, was shut; he had carefully looked on purpose to
see, in passing. At last he reached the bushes and hid behind them. He held his
breath. “I must wait now,” he thought, “to reassure them, in
case they heard my footsteps and are listening ... if only I don’t cough
or sneeze.”</p>
<p>He waited two minutes. His heart was beating violently, and, at moments, he
could scarcely breathe. “No, this throbbing at my heart won’t
stop,” he thought. “I can’t wait any longer.” He was
standing behind a bush in the shadow. The light of the window fell on the front
part of the bush.</p>
<p>“How red the whitebeam berries are!” he murmured, not knowing why.
Softly and noiselessly, step by step, he approached the window, and raised
himself on tiptoe. All Fyodor Pavlovitch’s bedroom lay open before him.
It was not a large room, and was divided in two parts by a red screen,
“Chinese,” as Fyodor Pavlovitch used to call it. The word
“Chinese” flashed into Mitya’s mind, “and behind the
screen, is Grushenka,” thought Mitya. He began watching Fyodor
Pavlovitch, who was wearing his new striped‐silk dressing‐gown, which Mitya had
never seen, and a silk cord with tassels round the waist. A clean, dandified
shirt of fine linen with gold studs peeped out under the collar of the
dressing‐gown. On his head Fyodor Pavlovitch had the same red bandage which
Alyosha had seen.</p>
<p>“He has got himself up,” thought Mitya.</p>
<p>His father was standing near the window, apparently lost in thought. Suddenly
he jerked up his head, listened a moment, and hearing nothing went up to the
table, poured out half a glass of brandy from a decanter and drank it off. Then
he uttered a deep sigh, again stood still a moment, walked carelessly up to the
looking‐glass on the wall, with his right hand raised the red bandage on his
forehead a little, and began examining his bruises and scars, which had not yet
disappeared.</p>
<p>“He’s alone,” thought Mitya, “in all probability
he’s alone.”</p>
<p>Fyodor Pavlovitch moved away from the looking‐glass, turned suddenly to the
window and looked out. Mitya instantly slipped away into the shadow.</p>
<p>“She may be there behind the screen. Perhaps she’s asleep by
now,” he thought, with a pang at his heart. Fyodor Pavlovitch moved away
from the window. “He’s looking for her out of the window, so
she’s not there. Why should he stare out into the dark? He’s wild
with impatience.” ... Mitya slipped back at once, and fell to gazing in
at the window again. The old man was sitting down at the table, apparently
disappointed. At last he put his elbow on the table, and laid his right cheek
against his hand. Mitya watched him eagerly.</p>
<p>“He’s alone, he’s alone!” he repeated again. “If
she were here, his face would be different.”</p>
<p>Strange to say, a queer, irrational vexation rose up in his heart that she was
not here. “It’s not that she’s not here,” he explained
to himself, immediately, “but that I can’t tell for certain whether
she is or not.” Mitya remembered afterwards that his mind was at that
moment exceptionally clear, that he took in everything to the slightest detail,
and missed no point. But a feeling of misery, the misery of uncertainty and
indecision, was growing in his heart with every instant. “Is she here or
not?” The angry doubt filled his heart, and suddenly, making up his mind,
he put out his hand and softly knocked on the window frame. He knocked the
signal the old man had agreed upon with Smerdyakov, twice slowly and then three
times more quickly, the signal that meant “Grushenka is here!”</p>
<p>The old man started, jerked up his head, and, jumping up quickly, ran to the
window. Mitya slipped away into the shadow. Fyodor Pavlovitch opened the window
and thrust his whole head out.</p>
<p>“Grushenka, is it you? Is it you?” he said, in a sort of trembling
half‐ whisper. “Where are you, my angel, where are you?” He was
fearfully agitated and breathless.</p>
<p>“He’s alone.” Mitya decided.</p>
<p>“Where are you?” cried the old man again; and he thrust his head
out farther, thrust it out to the shoulders, gazing in all directions, right
and left. “Come here, I’ve a little present for you. Come,
I’ll show you....”</p>
<p>“He means the three thousand,” thought Mitya.</p>
<p>“But where are you? Are you at the door? I’ll open it
directly.”</p>
<p>And the old man almost climbed out of the window, peering out to the right,
where there was a door into the garden, trying to see into the darkness. In
another second he would certainly have run out to open the door without waiting
for Grushenka’s answer.</p>
<p>Mitya looked at him from the side without stirring. The old man’s profile
that he loathed so, his pendent Adam’s apple, his hooked nose, his lips
that smiled in greedy expectation, were all brightly lighted up by the slanting
lamplight falling on the left from the room. A horrible fury of hatred suddenly
surged up in Mitya’s heart: “There he was, his rival, the man who
had tormented him, had ruined his life!” It was a rush of that sudden,
furious, revengeful anger of which he had spoken, as though foreseeing it, to
Alyosha, four days ago in the arbor, when, in answer to Alyosha’s
question, “How can you say you’ll kill our father?” “I
don’t know, I don’t know,” he had said then. “Perhaps I
shall not kill him, perhaps I shall. I’m afraid he’ll suddenly be
so loathsome to me at that moment. I hate his double chin, his nose, his eyes,
his shameless grin. I feel a personal repulsion. That’s what I’m
afraid of, that’s what may be too much for me.” ... This personal
repulsion was growing unendurable. Mitya was beside himself, he suddenly pulled
the brass pestle out of his pocket.</p>
<hr />
<p>“God was watching over me then,” Mitya himself said afterwards. At
that very moment Grigory waked up on his bed of sickness. Earlier in the
evening he had undergone the treatment which Smerdyakov had described to Ivan.
He had rubbed himself all over with vodka mixed with a secret, very strong
decoction, had drunk what was left of the mixture while his wife repeated a
“certain prayer” over him, after which he had gone to bed. Marfa
Ignatyevna had tasted the stuff, too, and, being unused to strong drink, slept
like the dead beside her husband.</p>
<p>But Grigory waked up in the night, quite suddenly, and, after a moment’s
reflection, though he immediately felt a sharp pain in his back, he sat up in
bed. Then he deliberated again, got up and dressed hurriedly. Perhaps his
conscience was uneasy at the thought of sleeping while the house was unguarded
“in such perilous times.” Smerdyakov, exhausted by his fit, lay
motionless in the next room. Marfa Ignatyevna did not stir. “The
stuff’s been too much for the woman,” Grigory thought, glancing at
her, and groaning, he went out on the steps. No doubt he only intended to look
out from the steps, for he was hardly able to walk, the pain in his back and
his right leg was intolerable. But he suddenly remembered that he had not
locked the little gate into the garden that evening. He was the most punctual
and precise of men, a man who adhered to an unchangeable routine, and habits
that lasted for years. Limping and writhing with pain he went down the steps
and towards the garden. Yes, the gate stood wide open. Mechanically he stepped
into the garden. Perhaps he fancied something, perhaps caught some sound, and,
glancing to the left he saw his master’s window open. No one was looking
out of it then.</p>
<p>“What’s it open for? It’s not summer now,” thought
Grigory, and suddenly, at that very instant he caught a glimpse of something
extraordinary before him in the garden. Forty paces in front of him a man
seemed to be running in the dark, a sort of shadow was moving very fast.</p>
<p>“Good Lord!” cried Grigory beside himself, and forgetting the pain
in his back, he hurried to intercept the running figure. He took a short cut,
evidently he knew the garden better; the flying figure went towards the
bath‐house, ran behind it and rushed to the garden fence. Grigory followed, not
losing sight of him, and ran, forgetting everything. He reached the fence at
the very moment the man was climbing over it. Grigory cried out, beside
himself, pounced on him, and clutched his leg in his two hands.</p>
<p>Yes, his foreboding had not deceived him. He recognized him, it was he, the
“monster,” the “parricide.”</p>
<p>“Parricide!” the old man shouted so that the whole neighborhood
could hear, but he had not time to shout more, he fell at once, as though
struck by lightning.</p>
<p>Mitya jumped back into the garden and bent over the fallen man. In
Mitya’s hands was a brass pestle, and he flung it mechanically in the
grass. The pestle fell two paces from Grigory, not in the grass but on the
path, in a most conspicuous place. For some seconds he examined the prostrate
figure before him. The old man’s head was covered with blood. Mitya put
out his hand and began feeling it. He remembered afterwards clearly, that he
had been awfully anxious to make sure whether he had broken the old man’s
skull, or simply stunned him with the pestle. But the blood was flowing
horribly; and in a moment Mitya’s fingers were drenched with the hot
stream. He remembered taking out of his pocket the clean white handkerchief
with which he had provided himself for his visit to Madame Hohlakov, and
putting it to the old man’s head, senselessly trying to wipe the blood
from his face and temples. But the handkerchief was instantly soaked with
blood.</p>
<p>“Good heavens! what am I doing it for?” thought Mitya, suddenly
pulling himself together. “If I have broken his skull, how can I find out
now? And what difference does it make now?” he added, hopelessly.
“If I’ve killed him, I’ve killed him.... You’ve come to
grief, old man, so there you must lie!” he said aloud. And suddenly
turning to the fence, he vaulted over it into the lane and fell to
running—the handkerchief soaked with blood he held, crushed up in his
right fist, and as he ran he thrust it into the back pocket of his coat. He ran
headlong, and the few passers‐by who met him in the dark, in the streets,
remembered afterwards that they had met a man running that night. He flew back
again to the widow Morozov’s house.</p>
<p>Immediately after he had left it that evening, Fenya had rushed to the chief
porter, Nazar Ivanovitch, and besought him, for Christ’s sake, “not
to let the captain in again to‐day or to‐morrow.” Nazar Ivanovitch
promised, but went upstairs to his mistress who had suddenly sent for him, and
meeting his nephew, a boy of twenty, who had recently come from the country, on
the way up told him to take his place, but forgot to mention “the
captain.” Mitya, running up to the gate, knocked. The lad instantly
recognized him, for Mitya had more than once tipped him. Opening the gate at
once, he let him in, and hastened to inform him with a good‐humored smile that
“Agrafena Alexandrovna is not at home now, you know.”</p>
<p>“Where is she then, Prohor?” asked Mitya, stopping short.</p>
<p>“She set off this evening, some two hours ago, with Timofey, to
Mokroe.”</p>
<p>“What for?” cried Mitya.</p>
<p>“That I can’t say. To see some officer. Some one invited her and
horses were sent to fetch her.”</p>
<p>Mitya left him, and ran like a madman to Fenya.</p>
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