<SPAN name="chap50"></SPAN>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<h3>CHAPTER L</h3>
<h2><i>MILLY'S FAREWELL</i></h2>
<p> </p>
<p>A few days' time saw me much better. Doctor Jolks was so
contemptuously sturdy and positive on the point, that I began
to have comfortable doubts about the reality of my ghost; and
having still a horror indescribable of the illusion, if such it were,
the room in which it appeared, and everything concerning it,
I would neither speak, nor, so far as I could, think of it.</p>
<p>So, though Bartram-Haugh was gloomy as well as beautiful,
and some of its associations awful, and the solitude that reigned
there sometimes almost terrible, yet early hours, bracing exercise,
and the fine air that predominates that region, soon restored my
nerves to a healthier tone.</p>
<p>But it seemed to me that Bartram-Haugh was to be to me a
vale of tears; or rather, in my sad pilgrimage, that valley of
the shadow of death through which poor Christian fared alone
and in the dark.</p>
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page334" id="page334"></SPAN></span>
<p>One day Milly ran into the parlour, pale, with wet cheeks,
and, without saying a word, threw her arms about my neck,
and burst into a paroxysm of weeping.</p>
<p>'What is it, Milly—what's the matter, dear—what is it?' I
cried aghast, but returning her close embrace heartily.</p>
<p>'Oh! Maud—Maud darling, he's going to send me away.'</p>
<p>'Away, dear! <i>where</i> away? And leave me alone in this dreadful
solitude, where he knows I shall die of fear and grief without
you? Oh! no—no, it <i>must</i> be a mistake.'</p>
<p>'I'm going to France, Maud—I'm going away. Mrs. Jolks is
going to London, day ar'ter to-morrow, and I'm to go wi'
her; and an old French lady, he says, from the school will meet
me there, and bring me the rest o' the way.'</p>
<p>'Oh—ho—ho—ho—ho—o—o—o!' cried poor Milly, hugging
me closer still, with her head buried in my shoulder, and swaying
me about like a wrestler, in her agony.</p>
<p>'I never wor away from home afore, except that little bit wi'
you over there at Elverston; and you wor wi' me then, Maud;
an' I love ye—better than Bartram—better than a'; an' I think
I'll die, Maud, if they take me away.'</p>
<p>I was just as wild in my woe as poor Milly; and it was not
until we had wept together for a full hour—sometimes standing—sometimes
walking up and down the room—sometimes sitting
and getting up in turns to fall on one another's necks,—that
Milly, plucking her handkerchief from her pocket, drew a note
from it at the same time, which, as it fell upon the floor, she at
once recollected to be one from Uncle Silas to me.</p>
<p>It was to this effect:—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'I wish to apprise my dear niece and ward of my plans. Milly
proceeds to an admirable French school, as a pensionnaire, and
leaves this on Thursday next. If after three months' trial she
finds it in any way objectionable, she returns to us. If, on the
contrary, she finds it in all respects the charming residence it
has been presented to me, you, on the expiration of that period,
join her there, until the temporary complication of my affairs
shall have been so far adjusted as to enable me to receive you
once more at Bartram. Hoping for happier days, and wishing to
assure you that three months is the extreme limit of your separation
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page335" id="page335"></SPAN></span>
from my poor Milly, I have written this, feeling alas!
unequal to seeing you at present.</p>
<p class="note">'Bartram, Tuesday.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'P.S.—I can have no objection to your apprising Monica
Knollys of these arrangements. You will understand, of course,
not a copy of this letter, but its substance.'</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Over this document, scanning it as lawyers do a new Act of
Parliament, we took comfort. After all, it was limited; a separation
not to exceed three months, possibly much shorter. On the
whole, too, I pleased myself with thinking Uncle Silas's note,
though peremptory, was kind.</p>
<p>Our paroxysms subsided into sadness; a close correspondence
was arranged. Something of the bustle and excitement of change
supervened. If it turned out to be, in truth, a 'charming residence,'
how very delightful our meeting in France, with the
interest of foreign scenery, ways, and faces, would be!</p>
<p>So Thursday arrived—a new gush of sorrow—a new brightening
up—and, amid regrets and anticipations, we parted at the
gate at the farther end of the Windmill Wood. Then, of course,
were more good-byes, more embraces, and tearful smiles. Good
Mrs. Jolks, who met us there, was in a huge fuss; I believe it
was her first visit to the metropolis, and she was in proportion
heated and important, and terrified about the train, so we had
not many last words.</p>
<p>I watched poor Milly, whose head was stretched from the window,
her hand waving many adieux, until the curve of the
road, and the clump of old ash-trees, thick with ivy, hid Milly,
carriage and all, from view. My eyes filled again with tears. I
turned towards Bartram. At my side stood honest Mary Quince.</p>
<p>'Don't take on so, Miss; 'twon't be no time passing; three
months is nothing at all,' she said, smiling kindly.</p>
<p>I smiled through my tears and kissed the good creature, and
so side by side we re-entered the gate.</p>
<p>The lithe young man in fustian, whom I had seen talking
with Beauty on the morning of our first encounter with that
youthful Amazon, was awaiting our re-entrance with the key
in his hand. He stood half behind the open wicket. One lean
brown cheek, one shy eye, and his sharp upturned nose, I saw
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page336" id="page336"></SPAN></span>
as we passed. He was treating me to a stealthy scrutiny, and
seemed to shun my glance, for he shut the door quickly, and
busied himself locking it, and then began stubbing up some
thistles which grew close by, with the toe of his thick shoe, his
back to us all the time.</p>
<p>It struck me that I recognised his features, and I asked Mary
Quince.</p>
<p>'Have you seen that young man before, Quince?'</p>
<p>'He brings up game for your uncle, sometimes, Miss, and
lends a hand in the garden, I believe.'</p>
<p>'Do you know his name, Mary?'</p>
<p>'They call him Tom, I don't know what more, Miss.'</p>
<p>'Tom,' I called; 'please, Tom, come here for a moment.'</p>
<p>Tom turned about, and approached slowly. He was more
civil than the Bartram people usually were, for he plucked off
his shapeless cap of rabbit-skin with a clownish respect.</p>
<p>'Tom, what is your other name,—Tom <i>what</i>, my good man?'
I asked.</p>
<p>'Tom Brice, ma'am.'</p>
<p>'Haven't I seen you before, Tom Brice?' I pursued, for my
curiosity was excited, and with it much graver feelings; for
there certainly <i>was</i> a resemblance in Tom's features to those of
the postilion who had looked so hard at me as I passed the carriage
in the warren at Knowl, on the evening of the outrage
which had scared that quiet place.</p>
<p>''Appen you may have, ma'am,' he answered, quite coolly,
looking down the buttons of his gaiters.</p>
<p>'Are you a good whip—do you drive well?'</p>
<p>'I'll drive a plough wi' most lads hereabout,' answered Tom.</p>
<p>'Have you ever been to Knowl, Tom?'</p>
<p>Tom gaped very innocently.</p>
<p>'Anan,' he said.</p>
<p>'Here, Tom, is half-a-crown.'</p>
<p>He took it readily enough.</p>
<p>'That be very good,' said Tom, with a nod, having glanced
sharply at the coin.</p>
<p>I can't say whether he applied that term to the coin, or to
his luck, or to my generous self.</p>
<p>'Now, Tom, you'll tell me, have you ever been to Knowl?'</p>
<p>'Maught a' bin, ma'am, but I don't mind no sich place—no.'</p>
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page337" id="page337"></SPAN></span>
<p>As Tom spoke this with great deliberation, like a man who
loves truth, putting a strain upon his memory for its sake, he
spun the silver coin two or three times into the air and caught
it, staring at it the while, with all his might.</p>
<p>'Now, Tom, recollect yourself, and tell me the truth, and
I'll be a friend to you. Did you ride postilion to a carriage having
a lady in it, and, I think, several gentlemen, which came
to the grounds of Knowl, when the party had their luncheon
on the grass, and there was a—a quarrel with the gamekeepers?
Try, Tom, to recollect; you shall, upon my honour, have no
trouble about it, and I'll try to serve you.'</p>
<p>Tom was silent, while with a vacant gape he watched the
spin of his half-crown twice, and then catching it with a
smack in his hand, which he thrust into his pocket, he said,
still looking in the same direction—</p>
<p>'I never rid postilion in my days, ma'am. I know nout o'
sich a place, though 'appen I maught a' bin there; Knowl, ye
ca't. I was ne'er out o' Derbyshire but thrice to Warwick fair
wi' horses be rail, an' twice to York.'</p>
<p>'You're certain, Tom?'</p>
<p>'Sartin sure, ma'am.'</p>
<p>And Tom made another loutish salute, and cut the conference
short by turning off the path and beginning to hollo
after some trespassing cattle.</p>
<p>I had not felt anything like so nearly sure in this essay at
identification as I had in that of Dudley. Even of Dudley's
identity with the Church Scarsdale man, I had daily grown
less confident; and, indeed, had it been proposed to bring it to
the test of a wager, I do not think I should, in the language
of sporting gentlemen, have cared to 'back' my original opinion.
There was, however, a sufficient uncertainty to make me uncomfortable;
and there was another uncertainty to enhance the
unpleasant sense of ambiguity.</p>
<p>On our way back we passed the bleaching trunks and limbs
of several ranks of barkless oaks lying side by side, some squared
by the hatchet, perhaps sold, for there were large letters and
Roman numerals traced upon them in red chalk. I sighed as I
passed them by, not because it was wrongfully done, for I really
rather leaned to the belief that Uncle Silas was well advised
in point of law. But, alas! here lay low the grand old family
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page338" id="page338"></SPAN></span>
decorations of Bartram-Haugh, not to be replaced for centuries
to come, under whose spreading boughs the Ruthyns of three
hundred years ago had hawked and hunted!</p>
<p>On the trunk of one of these I sat down to rest, Mary Quince
meanwhile pattering about in unmeaning explorations. While
thus listlessly seated, the girl Meg Hawkes, walked by, carrying
a basket.</p>
<p>'Hish!' she said quickly, as she passed, without altering a
pace or raising her eyes; 'don't ye speak nor look—fayther
spies us; I'll tell ye next turn.'</p>
<p>'Next turn'—when was that? Well, she might be returning;
and as she could not then say more than she had said, in merely
passing without a pause, I concluded to wait for a short time
and see what would come of it.</p>
<p>After a short time I looked about me a little, and I saw
Dickon Hawkes—Pegtop, as poor Milly used to call him—with
an axe in his hand, prowling luridly among the timber.</p>
<p>Observing that I saw him, he touched his hat sulkily, and
by-and-by passed me, muttering to himself. He plainly could
not understand what business I could have in that particular
part of the Windmill Wood, and let me see it in his countenance.</p>
<p>His daughter did pass me again; but this time he was near,
and she was silent. Her next transit occurred as he was questioning
Mary Quince at some little distance; and as she passed
precisely in the same way, she said—</p>
<p>'Don't you be alone wi' Master Dudley nowhere for the
world's worth.'</p>
<p>The injunction was so startling that I was on the point of
questioning the girl. But I recollected myself, and waited in the
hope that in her future transits she might be more explicit. But
one word more she did not utter, and the jealous eye of old
Pegtop was so constantly upon us that I refrained.</p>
<p>There was vagueness and suggestion enough in the oracle to
supply work for many an hour of anxious conjecture, and many
a horrible vigil by night. Was I never to know peace at
Bartram-Haugh?</p>
<p>Ten days of poor Milly's absence, and of my solitude, had
already passed, when my uncle sent for me to his room.</p>
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page339" id="page339"></SPAN></span>
<p>When old Wyat stood at the door, mumbling and snarling
her message, my heart died within me.</p>
<p>It was late—just that hour when dejected people feel their
anxieties most—when the cold grey of twilight has deepened to
its darkest shade, and before the cheerful candles are lighted,
and the safe quiet of the night sets in.</p>
<p>When I entered my uncle's sitting-room—though his window-shutters
were open and the wan streaks of sunset visible through
them, like narrow lakes in the chasms of the dark western
clouds—a pair of candles were burning; one stood upon the
table by his desk, the other on the chimneypiece, before which
his tall, thin figure stooped. His hand leaned on the mantelpiece,
and the light from the candle just above his bowed head
touched his silvery hair. He was looking, as it seemed, into the
subsiding embers of the fire, and was a very statue of forsaken
dejection and decay.</p>
<p>'Uncle!' I ventured to say, having stood for some time unperceived
near his table.</p>
<p>'Ah, yes, Maud, my dear child—my <i>dear</i> child.'</p>
<p>He turned, and with the candle in his hand, smiling his silvery
smile of suffering on me. He walked more feebly and stiffly,
I thought, than I had ever seen him move before.</p>
<p>'Sit down, Maud—pray sit there.'</p>
<p>I took the chair he indicated.</p>
<p>'In my misery and my solitude, Maud, I have invoked you
like a spirit, and you appear.'</p>
<p>With his two hands leaning on the table, he looked across at
me, in a stooping attitude; he had not seated himself. I continued
silent until it should be his pleasure to question or
address me.</p>
<p>At last he said, raising himself and looking upward, with a
wild adoration—his finger-tips elevated and glimmering in the
faint mixed light—</p>
<p>'No, I thank my Creator, I am not quite forsaken.'</p>
<p>Another silence, during which he looked steadfastly at me,
and muttered, as if thinking aloud—</p>
<p>'My guardian angel!—my guardian angel! Maud, <i>you</i> have
a heart.' He addressed me suddenly—'Listen, for a few moments,
to the appeal of an old and broken-hearted man—your
guardian—your uncle—your <i>suppliant</i>. I had resolved never to
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page340" id="page340"></SPAN></span>
speak to you more on this subject. But I was wrong. It was pride
that inspired me—mere pride.'</p>
<p>I felt myself growing pale and flushed by turns during the
pause that followed.</p>
<p>'I'm very miserable—very nearly desperate. What remains
for me—what remains? Fortune has done her worst—thrown
in the dust, her wheels rolled over me; and the servile world,
who follow her chariot like a mob, stamp upon the mangled
wretch. All this had passed over me, and left me scarred and
bloodless in this solitude. It was not my fault, Maud—I say it
was no fault of mine; I have no remorse, though more regrets
than I can count, and all scored with fire. As people passed by
Bartram, and looked upon its neglected grounds and smokeless
chimneys, they thought my plight, I dare say, about the worst
a proud man could be reduced to. They could not imagine one
half its misery. But this old hectic—this old epileptic—this old
spectre of wrongs, calamities, and follies, had still one hope—my
manly though untutored son—the last male scion of the
Ruthyns. Maud, have I lost him? His fate—my fate—I may say
<i>Milly's fate</i>;—we all await your sentence. He loves you, as
none but the very young can love, and that once only in a life.
He loves you desperately—a most affectionate nature—a Ruthyn,
the best blood in England—the last man of the race; and I—if I
lose him I lose all; and you will see me in my coffin, Maud,
before many months. I stand before you in the attitude of a
suppliant—shall I kneel?'</p>
<p>His eyes were fixed on me with the light of despair, his
knotted hands clasped, his whole figure bowed toward me. I
was inexpressibly shocked and pained.</p>
<p>'Oh, uncle! uncle!' I cried, and from very excitement I burst
into tears.</p>
<p>I saw that his eyes were fixed on me with a dismal scrutiny.
I think he divined the nature of my agitation; but he determined,
notwithstanding, to press me while my helpless agitation
continued.</p>
<p>'You see my suspense—you see my miserable and frightful
suspense. You are kind, Maud; you love your father's memory;
your pity your father's brother; you would not say no, and
place a pistol at his head?'</p>
<p>'Oh! I must—I must—I <i>must</i> say no. Oh! spare me, uncle,
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page341" id="page341"></SPAN></span>
for Heaven's sake. Don't question me—don't press me. I could
not—I <i>could</i> not do what you ask.'</p>
<p>'I yield, Maud—I yield, my dear. I will <i>not</i> press you; you
shall have time, your <i>own</i> time, to think. I will accept no answer
now—no, <i>none</i>, Maud.'</p>
<p>He said this, raising his thin hand to silence me.</p>
<p>'There, Maud, enough. I have spoken, as I always do to you,
frankly, perhaps too frankly; but agony and despair will speak
out, and plead, even with the most obdurate and cruel.'</p>
<p>With these words Uncle Silas entered his bed-chamber, and shut
the door, not violently, but with a resolute hand, and I thought
I heard a cry.</p>
<p>I hastened to my own room. I threw myself on my knees, and
thanked Heaven for the firmness vouchsafed me; I could not
believe it to have been my own.</p>
<p>I was more miserable in consequence of this renewed suit on
behalf of my odious cousin than I can describe. My uncle had
taken such a line of importunity that it became a sort of agony
to resist. I thought of the possibility of my hearing of his
having made away with himself, and was every morning relieved
when I heard that he was still as usual. I have often wondered
since at my own firmness. In that dreadful interview with my
uncle I had felt, in the whirl and horror of my mind, on the
very point of submitting, just as nervous people are said to
throw themselves over precipices through sheer dread of falling.</p>
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