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Manners for Men

<h2>PERSONAL SPEECH WITH ROYALTY AND RANK.</h2> <div class="sidenote">Addressing the Queen in person.</div> It is sometimes difficult to know how to address personally people of high rank. The Queen is addressed as “Ma’am” by those immediately surrounding her person and by princesses, duchesses, and others who are on terms that may be described as those of acquaintanceship with her Majesty. All others would speak to her as “Your Majesty.” <div class="sidenote">The Princess of Wales.</div> The Princess of Wales and all other princesses are in the same way addressed as “Ma’am,” or “Your Royal Highness,” according to the position of the person speaking to them. <div class="sidenote">The Prince of Wales and royal dukes.</div> The Prince of Wales, with all other royal dukes and princes, is addressed as “Sir,” or “Your Royal Highness”; the Duke of Teck as “Your Serene Highness,” as well as many foreign princes. Equals would address all these as “Prince.” <div class="sidenote">Formal and informal modes of addressing nobility in person.</div> The following list will show the correct modes of addressing the nobility informally and formally, in conversation, the first being the custom among acquaintances, the latter by all others:—{159} <table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary=""> <tr><td class="c">Rank.</td><td class="c">Informal.</td> <td class="c">Formal.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Duke</td><td align="left">Duke.</td><td align="left">Your Grace.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Duchess</td><td align="left">Duchess.</td><td align="left">Your Grace.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Marquis</td><td align="left">Lord A.</td><td align="left">My Lord, or Your Lordship.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Marchioness    </td><td align="left">Lady A.</td><td align="left">My Lady, or Your Ladyship.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Earl</td><td align="left">Lord B.</td><td align="left">My Lord, or Your Lordship.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Countess</td><td align="left">Lady B.</td><td align="left">My Lady, or Your Ladyship.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Viscount</td><td align="left">Lord C.</td><td align="left">My Lord, or Your Lordship.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Viscountess</td><td align="left">Lady C.</td><td align="left">My Lady, or Your Ladyship.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Baron</td><td align="left">Lord D.</td><td align="left">My Lord, or Your Lordship.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Baroness</td><td align="left">Lady D.</td><td align="left">My Lady, or Your Ladyship.</td></tr> </table> It is one of the rules of etiquette that, in speaking with royal persons, the inferior leaves it to them to originate subjects of conversation, and never introduces any topic of his own. <div class="sidenote">Letters of condolence.</div> Letters of condolence are among the most difficult forms of composition. They are almost equally trying to read and to write. The best rule to be given for these is to make them as brief as possible. If “brevity is the soul of wit,” it is also, in such cases, the very heart of sympathy. A very usual fault{160} committed is to begin by dilating upon the shock or grief felt by the writer. The absurdity of this becomes apparent when one compares mentally the shock or grief as felt by the recipient. Two lines conveying the expression of sympathy are better than pages of even the most eloquent composition. Mourners require all their fortitude at times of loss, and anything likely to impair their self-command is the reverse of a kindness. <div class="sidenote">Memoriam cards.</div> On hearing or reading of the death of an acquaintance or friend, an expression of sympathy should at once be sent off. It used to be the custom to wait for the memoriam cards sent out by the family, but this, if it was ever the custom in the best society, has now long ceased to be so. Memoriam cards are only used in humble circles. At the same time, one needs to be very careful as to the accuracy of one’s information before sending off a letter of condolence. Similarity of name is apt to lead to awkward mistakes. <div class="sidenote">The inquiry call.</div> In this connection it may be as well to remark that about a week after the funeral it is customary to call and leave cards of inquiry. When these are responded to by cards of thanks for inquiries, it is a sign that the family is willing to receive callers. {161}UNWIN BROTHERS, PRINTERS, WORKING AND LONDON. <ANTIMG src="images/image2.jpg" width-obs="333" height-obs="333" alt="" title="" /> <big>R</big>owland’s <big>O</big>donto The best and safest Dentifrice: whitens the teeth, prevents decay: no grit nor ruinous acids. 2/9. <big>R</big>owland’s <big>M</big>acassar Oil Absolutely the only reliable and genuine Preserver, Restorer, and Strengthener of the Hair: also in a Golden Colour. 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It is a tender, beautiful love story, very fresh and wholesome, with a wealth of fine descriptive writing.” The Manchester Courier says:—“...This excellent tale.... Those who pick up the book will find difficulty in laying it down before the last page is reached.” The Methodist Recorder says:—“One of the most charming stories of the season.... This is as truly an ‘Idyll’ as anything Tennyson ever wrote.” London: JAMES BOWDEN, Henrietta St., W.C.{165} <hr /> FIFTIETH THOUSAND. <big><big>THE CHILD, THE WISE MAN, AND THE DEVIL.</big></big> Price, 1s.; or cloth gilt, 2s. Some Opinions. The Saturday Review says:—“There is a touch of genius about this brilliant and original booklet.” The Bookman says:—“Work which deserves to live. No one can read these pages without emotion.” The Queen says—“A work of genius. Arrests every reader, and can never be forgotten.” The Right Rev. Bishop of London says:—“It puts with much imaginative force and beauty the central points in the relation of Christianity to life.” The Rev. Dr. John Clifford says:—“Magnificent as the offspring of fancy, it is mightiest as the product of faith. There is not a false note in it. It rings with sincerity. Figures crowd its pages in pleasantest setting, like flowers in a sunlit landscape, but it is the blending of the forces of genius and faith which charms and binds men, and makes the booklet immortal.” The Very Rev. the Dean of Salisbury says:—“I think it in all respects most certain to make a profound impression.” The Rev. Dr. R. F. Horton, M.A., says:—“In Mr. Kernahan we have a strong writer who will one day be great. He has the grand manner. He has the touch of Jean Paul Richter in him, which is not elsewhere found among his contemporaries.... No laboured apology for Christianity will go so far or accomplish so much as this impassioned utterance, this poem in prose, this thought of the years distilled in one pearl drop of purest water.” The Daily Mail says:—“Resembling in many respects his ‘God and the Ant,’ this new book of Mr. Kernahan’s is an even finer example of imaginative brilliancy, poetic eloquence, and fervent spiritual appeal.... There can be no doubt that his little book must make a very deep and abiding impression upon the hearts and minds of all who read it.”{166} Miss Frances E. Willard says:—“This beautiful and helpful book will do enormous good in this age when faith is weak.” The Sketch says:—“Mr. Coulson Kernahan is a man of very large imaginative gifts. He is a dreamer of dreams, yet human love begets them. There are few delivering an apocalypse to-day who have a tithe of his literary skill. He affects nothing, seeking rather to appeal to the heart of his reader, and in his simplicity finds his strength. 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From every point of view I regard it as a very valuable and remarkable book.” The Rev. Morlais Jones:—“The Rev. Morlais Jones preached an interesting sermon on Sunday last,” says the British Weekly. “Mr. Morlais Jones referred in terms of enthusiastic praise to Mr. Coulson Kernahan’s new book, ‘The Child, the Wise Man, and the Devil.’ The author, he said, was a man of unmistakable genius.” The Echo says:—“Let us acknowledge with gratitude the fine moral enthusiasm, the lofty spiritual fervour, and the chivalrous charity of this most poetic of prosemen. The writer is manly, vigorous, and sincere.... There will be few readers of this work, however thoroughly they may dissent from the author’s contentions, who will not allow with enthusiasm the moral earnestness, the poetic imagination, and the literary charm of Mr. Kernahan’s stern muse.” London: JAMES BOWDEN, Henrietta Street, W.C.{167} <hr /> NEW BOOKS. IN PREPARATION for Publication by Mr. JAMES BOWDEN. New Novel by Joseph Hocking, <big>The Birthright.</big> By JOSEPH HOCKING, Author of “All Men are Liars,” “The Story of Andrew Fairfax,” etc. With Two full-page Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, 3s. 6d. New Book by Shan F. Bullock. <big>The Charmer.</big> By SHAN F. BULLOCK, Author of “By Thrasna River,” “Ring o’ Rushes,” etc. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt. A Striking Book by Robert H. Sherard. <big>The White Slaves of England</big> By ROBERT H. SHERARD. With upwards of 40 Illustrations drawn from life by HAROLD PIFFARD. Crown 8vo, cloth, 2s. 6d. London: JAMES BOWDEN, Henrietta St., W.C. <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="" style="padding:2%;border:3px dotted gray;"> <tr><th align="center">Typographical error corrected by the etext transcriber:</th></tr> <tr><td align="left">to look on vacancy or seem to do so.=> to look on vacantly or seem to do so. {pg 135}</td></tr> </table> <hr class="full" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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