Manners for Men

<h2><SPAN name="DRIVING" id="DRIVING"></SPAN><i>DRIVING</i></h2> <div class="sidenote">“Keep to your left”</div> <p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> same rule of the road applies to driving as to riding. In the crowded traffic of large towns and cities it would be difficult, if not impossible, to observe the good old rule of courtesy that prohibits the driver of any private carriage from overtaking and passing that of a friend or neighbour on the road. The members of the Four-in-Hand and Coaching Clubs still observe it, and seldom pass each other without an apologetic wave of the hand or raising of the hat.</p> <div class="sidenote">Acknowledging salutes.</div> <p>A gentleman driving a mail phaeton in the Park with a lady by his side must, of course, acknowledge all salutes by raising his hat, if he is sufficiently expert to admit of his doing so without risk. It is not every one who can emulate the Prince of Wales, who, when driving a coach, can take a cigar from his lips and raise his hat with the whip-hand, the reins, of course, being in the left. It is not unusual, nowadays, to see a man driven by a lady.</p> <div class="sidenote">Handing a lady up to her coach seat.</div> <p>In such a case he must be on the alert to afford her every <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_047" id="page_047"></SPAN>{47}</span>assistance in his power. In handing a lady up to her place on a coach some expertness is required, especially where the usual short ladder is not available, and she has to mount first on the wheel and then on to the coach itself.</p> <div class="sidenote">Invitations to coach drives.</div> <p>The box-seat of a coach to the left of the driver is considered the place of honour, and the lady invited to occupy it is very appreciative, as a rule, of this mark of attention. It is scarcely necessary to remark that a man must be as careful about the invitations for a drive on his four-in-hand as he would be in other circumstances. A lady would resent being asked to meet any one unsuitable in a drive, even though the latter may be relegated to a back seat.</p> <div class="sidenote">A man may refuse a lady the coach reins.</div> <p>Sometimes ladies are very anxious to take the reins and drive themselves, a circumstance which has often occasioned agonies of nervousness to other women on the coach. It is quite possible to refuse such a request in a polite and gentlemanly way, partly by seeming to ignore it or laughing it off. It is not a bad plan when some such request is supposed to be imminent to bind oneself beforehand by a promise to one of the timid ladies. This promise can be produced with great effect when occasion arises.</p> <div class="sidenote">On dismounting, when calling for a lady.</div> <p>A man usually dismounts when calling for a lady to take her for a ride,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_048" id="page_048"></SPAN>{48}</span> if she is to be mounted. Sometimes, however, this rule is remitted, as in the case of a restive and very fresh animal; the groom then assists the lady to mount. The driver of a four-in-hand very seldom dismounts in such circumstances, though, of course, there are exceptions to this as to almost all other rules.</p> <div class="sidenote">On smoking when driving.</div> <p>It used to be considered bad manners to smoke when driving with a lady. This is now quite antediluvian, so to speak. Permission must, of course, always be asked of the lady. It is scarcely ever refused, and it is almost an exceptional thing to see a man driving without a cigar between his teeth.</p> <p>Should the lady driven meet some acquaintances unknown to her charioteer, and wish to stop and converse with them, he raises his hat and awaits her pleasure. She will probably introduce him, but if not he takes no part in the conversation. The only thing he can do is to remain passive, but unless the lady feels justified in introducing him it is an error of taste on her part to enter into conversation with her friends.</p> <div class="sidenote">In which case the rule may be broken.</div> <p>Some ladies have a great disinclination to mount a four-in-hand or mail phaeton until the driver is seated with the reins in his hand and in full command of the horses. There is nothing surprising in this, for, after all, the groom who stands at the head of<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_049" id="page_049"></SPAN>{49}</span> the horses before the start has very little control over them, and one or two disagreeable accidents have occurred in this way, the horses taking fright and escaping from his grasp. Consequently it would be no breach of good manners for the gentleman driving to take his seat and thus reassure his nervous companion.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_050" id="page_050"></SPAN>{50}</span></p> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />