<h2><SPAN class="toc-backref pginternal" href="#id30">CHAPTER XXIX</SPAN></h2>
<p class="pfirst">"How can we be your very own when—you
don't know anything about <em class="italics">me</em>?"</p>
<p>Gussie and Gladys had gone up to get some
sleep. Jennie was crouched, not against the
arm of the chair, as before, but against Bob's
knee. Still pressing back the instincts of his
passion, he did no more than let his hand rest
lightly on her hair.</p>
<p>"I know this much about you, Jennie—that
after all we've gone through we're welded together.
Nothing can separate us now—no past—nor
anything you could tell me."</p>
<p>"Is that why you don't want to know?"</p>
<p>"I don't want to know <em class="italics">now</em>. That's all I'm
saying. Things are settled for us. They're
settled and sealed. It's what we get out of so
much that's terrible, that we don't have to debate
that point any more. We may have to
adapt ourselves to conditions we don't know
anything about as yet—but it will be a matter
of adapting, not of cutting loose. What should
I be if I were to cut loose from you and the girls
now, Jennie? What should you be if you were
to cut loose from me?"</p>
<p>She pressed her cheek against his knee.</p>
<p>"We'd die," she said, simply.</p>
<p>"So there you are! I know what you mean.
I'd die, too. That is, we mightn't die outwardly;
but something would be so killed in us
that we'd never be really alive again. So why
try to pull apart what life has soldered into one?"</p>
<p>"But you don't <em class="italics">know</em>!"</p>
<p>"Yes, I do. I know more than you think.
I know that the things that trouble you are
dreams and that our life together is reality.
You'll tell me the dreams as we go on—a little
at a time—and I'll show you that you've waked
from them. I know there are things to explain;
but I know, too, that there's an explanation. But
I don't want the explanation yet. I'm—I'm too
tired, Jennie. I want to rest. And I can't rest
unless we all rest together—you with me—and
the girls with us—in a kind of quiet acceptance
of the things that have happened—and in the—I
hardly know how to express it—but in the
tranquillity of love. I wonder if you understand
me?"</p>
<p>She murmured:</p>
<p>"I don't know that I understand you, Bob—quite—but
I do—I do love you. It's—it's different
from love—it's—it's more. It's like—like
melting into you—"</p>
<p>"That's love, Jennie. It isn't anything different.
It's just—<em class="italics">love</em>."</p>
<p>"But you're so big—"</p>
<p>"And you're so little—so wee. Don't you see?—that's
it! That's the compensating thing in
nature. It's because we're different that we need
each other and complete each other. I can't
explain it as you'd explain a sum in arithmetic.
I only <em class="italics">know</em>. You complete me, Jennie. As
I've said so often, you're the other half of me—"</p>
<p>"And you're all of me—and more."</p>
<p>"Then since we know that, why not do as I
said—just rest awhile? We've come up to our
next ledge, as I was trying to explain to you a
few months ago; I know we can camp here a bit;
and if we've had some scratches in the climb we
can talk of them by and by. We've learned the
one big thing we needed to know—that we
belong together, that we can't be torn apart.
Just for now, why can't that be enough for us?"</p>
<p>"It will be enough if you will let me tell you
that—that what I've said about Hubert wasn't—wasn't
as bad as perhaps you think. I don't say
it mightn't have been; it was as bad as that in—in
intention; but the magic cloak of your love
which you used to write about seemed to hang
round me—that's the only way I can put it—"</p>
<p>"That'll do, Jennie. Don't try to say any
more now. It's only what—in some way—I can't
tell you how—I know already."</p>
<p>He knew she was crying, but he let her cry.
He would have cried himself, only that, since
the vision at Bond's Corner, he felt this extraordinary
happiness. While his reason would have
striven to accept the psychologist's explanation
his inner self was convinced of Teddy's delight
in beginning his next experiment. He himself
was tired, but at peace—tired, but no longer
with a need of sleep—only with the need of being
quiet with a sense of fulfillment.</p>
<p>There were tears in her voice as she whispered,
brokenly:</p>
<p>"Is it wrong, Bob, to feel so—so comforted—when
momma is lying upstairs—and darling
Teddy is—"</p>
<p>"We can't choose the way by which comfort
comes to us, Jennie darling. Things happen
which we don't want to have happen, and yet
they <em class="italics">can</em> work together for good if we only give
them half a chance—"</p>
<p>He was interrupted by the loud, sweet thrilling
of a thrush. Jennie raised her head in surprise,
looking at the pallid shimmer through the
curtained window.</p>
<p>"It's day!"</p>
<p>They were both on their feet.</p>
<p>"Yes, Jennie; it's day—again. Let's go out."</p>
<p>They went as they were, bareheaded like
children, into the purity of morning. Pansy,
disturbed by the many strange auras in the house,
scampered ahead of them, relieved by the
escape. The street was still asleep, empty, clean,
with every lawn patch and garden bed drenched
with dew. Only the birds and the flowers were
waking to the light.</p>
<p>Turning toward the cliffs and the river, their
talk became more practical. Bob suggested to
Jennie what his father had suggested to him.
Mr. Huntley was going to Europe in connection
with some new European loan. The proposal
was that Bob should go with him. The trip
might last six months.</p>
<p>"And if I go," he added, "we both go. We
should have a few weeks to settle things finally
here—"</p>
<p>"Oh, but, Bob—how could I go and—and
leave the two girls? They need me more than
ever now. I'm not only their sister, but their
mother."</p>
<p>"Why shouldn't they come with us? I'd love
having them. Six months over there would
make a break with what they've been through
here; and when we come back, Edith has things
she's going to suggest—"</p>
<p>"That would be heavenly, Bob; but—but the
money?"</p>
<p>"The money's all right. In my new job at the
bank I've a bigger salary—five thousand; and
now that dad's giving Edith ten thousand a year
as allowance, he's giving me the same. That's a
pretty good income to begin with, besides which,
dad—you'll have to know dad, Jennie—he
doesn't want me to spare any money while we're—we're
passing through this—this crisis."</p>
<p>"And your mother's lovely. I know <em class="italics">that</em>."</p>
<p>"Yes; mother's splendid, too. So's Edith.
You'll find that they all want—want to make up
to you—and to the girls—for—"</p>
<p>But he didn't say for what because they came
to where they saw above the cloud-wrapt city the
glory of chrysoprase, turquoise, and topaz which
precedes the sunrise and takes the breath away.</p>
<p>"Oh, look!"</p>
<p>"Oh, look!"</p>
<p>Instinctively they clasped hands as they stood
on the edge of the flowery precipice, watching
the chrysoprase yellow into saffron, and the turquoise
melt into sapphire, while the topaz became
light.</p>
<p>Then silently, above the wraithlike towers and
cubes and battlements, slipped the rim of gold.</p>
<p>"There it is, Bob!"</p>
<p>He drew her to him, holding her close.</p>
<p>"Yes; there it is again, Jennie—always coming
back to us! The last time we were here we had
only the moonrise; and now it is the sun—the
sun!"</p>
<p>Her head lay against his shoulder; and as the
rim became an orb the cloud-built vision of Manhattan
was touched with flecks of fire. Within
its heart lay Broadway, Fifth Avenue, Wall
Street, and the Bowery, shops, churches, brothels,
and banks, all passions, hungers, yearnings, and
ambitions, all national impulses worthy and detestable,
all human instincts holy and unclean,
all loveliness, all lust, all charity, all cupidity,
all secret and suppressed desire, all shameless
exposure on the housetops, all sorrow, all sin, all
that the soul of man conceives of as evil and good—and
yet, with no more than these few miles of
perspective, and this easy play of light, translated
into beauty, uplifting, unearthly, and
ineffable.</p>
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<h3 class="level-3 pfirst section-title title">THE END</h3></div>
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