<h2><SPAN class="toc-backref pginternal" href="#id17">CHAPTER XVI</SPAN></h2>
<p class="pfirst">But Teddy did not double on his tracks in
Nassau Street, for the reason that, in again
looking over his shoulder, he saw that Flynn had
taken one side of that thoroughfare and Jackman
the other. They were burly men, who moved
heavily, while he, in spite of his stocky build,
glided in and out among the pedestrians with the
agility of a squirrel. He was putting distance
between himself and them, and five minutes'
leeway would be enough for him. All he needed
was the space and privacy in which to shoot
himself.</p>
<p>At the corner of John Street he turned to the
left and made toward Broadway. They would
expect him to do this, his chief hope being that
among the homing swarms they would already
have lost sight of him. His mind was not working.
He was not looking ahead, even over the
few minutes he had still to live. All his instincts
were fused into the fear of the hand of the law
on his person. It was like Jennie's terror of the
hand of a man she didn't love—a frenzy for
physical sanctity stronger than the fear of
death.</p>
<p>At the same time, he couldn't run the risk of
being more noticeable than the majority of people
going his way. As he pushed and dodged, a
young man whom he had jostled called out, in
ironic good humor, "Say, is the cop after you?"
at which Teddy almost lost his head. He expected
a crowd to gather, and three or four men
to hold him by the arms till Jackman and Flynn
came up. But nothing happened. The protesting
young man was lost in the scramble, and
he, Teddy, found himself in Broadway.</p>
<p>Paying no heed to the jam of street cars, lorries,
private cars, and motor trucks, he dashed
into the interlaced streams of traffic. He dashed—and
was held up. He dashed again—and was
held up a second time. He was held up a third
time, a fourth, and a fifth. With every spurt of
two or three feet, cries warned him and curses
startled him. "Say, sonny, your ma must have
lost you," came from a jocose chauffeur beside
whose machine Teddy had been brought to a
halt. "I'd damn well like to run over you,"
shouted the driver of a van who had narrowly
escaped doing it. Teddy wished he had. If he
could only be sure of being killed, it might have
been the easiest way out.</p>
<p>Reaching the opposite pavement, he had time
to see that Jackman had crossed lower down and
more easily than he, and was lumbering toward
him from the downtown direction. Jackman
could have shouted to the passers-by to lay hold
of Teddy, only that, from a distance and among
such numbers, he couldn't indicate his victim.
Being younger than Flynn and of lighter build,
he could move in his own way almost with
Teddy's rapidity. The boy didn't dare to run,
because the action would have marked him out,
but he started again on his snakelike gliding
between pedestrians. He must gain some doorway,
some cellar, some hole of any sort, in which
to draw his pistol. He would have drawn it
there and then, only that a hundred hands
would have seized him.</p>
<p>All at once he saw the open portal of a great
mercantile building, leading to a vast interior
with which he was familiar. There were several
exits and many floors. Once he had turned in
here, he could cross the scent. In he went, with
scores who were doing likewise, passing scores
who were coming out. His first intention was to
avoid the conspicuous exit toward Dey Street
and make for the less obvious one into Fulton
Street; but in doing that, he passed a line of
some twenty lifts, of which one was about to
close its door. He slipped into it like a hare into
its warren. The door clanged; the lift moved
upward with an oily speed. Among his companions
he was hot, flurried, breathless, and yet
not more so than any other young clerk who had
been doing an errand against time.</p>
<p>There were nearly thirty floors, and he got off
at the twenty-third. He chose the twenty-third
so as not to get off too soon, and yet not call
attention to himself by remaining in the lift
when most of its occupants had left it. The floor
was spacious and almost empty. A few people
were waiting for a lift to take them down; a
few were going in and out of offices, but otherwise
he had the place to himself.</p>
<p>Mechanically he walked to a window and
looked out. He seemed to be up in the sky, with
only the tops of a few giant cubes on a level with
himself. "Skyscrapers" they were called, and
skyscrapers they seemed up here even more than
down below. The tip of the great city, the
stretches of the bay, the green slopes of Staten
Island, and the far-off colossal woman with a
torch were all within his vision, with the oblique
strip that was Broadway, a tiny, ugly gash in
which bacteria were squirming, deep down and
cutting across the foreground.</p>
<p>Except for the dull roar that came up and the
clang of an occasional footstep along the hallways,
it was so still and pleasant that the need
to shoot himself seemed for the minute less insistent.
It would have to be done sooner or
later, but when it comes to suicide, even a few
minutes' respite is something. He could have
done the thing right there and then by the
window, where the few people within hearing
would have run to him at sound of the shot. If
the shot didn't kill him, they would keep him
from firing another. Publicity, distasteful in
itself, might lead to ineffectuality.</p>
<p>He must find a lavatory, and so began walking
up and down the corridors, looking at doors
discreetly placed in corners. When he came to
his objective, it was locked. Again it was reprieve. The same door would be on other
floors, but he was not ready for the moment to
forsake his shelter. It was true that at any
minute Flynn and Jackman might emerge from
the lift, but there were nearly thirty chances
that if they had followed him so closely they
would not select this landing. Even more were
the chances that they had not seen him slip into
the building at all.</p>
<p>Fevered and thirsty, he stooped to drink at
the fountain crowning the head of a little bronze
woman with a pair of dolphins on her shoulders.
She seemed to be of Maya type, and a uniformed
guardian had once told him that a great modern
sculptor had molded her. With a difference in
dolphins, she was repeated on every floor, forever
diademed in water.</p>
<p>Teddy's mind had so far suspended operation
as to his immediate plight that he went back to
the morning, seven or eight months previously,
when an errand from Mr. Brunt had brought
him into the great ground-floor atrium, revealing
the Basilica Julia or the Basilica Emilia of
<em class="italics">Ancient Rome Restored</em> right there in lower
Broadway. Simplicity, immensity, the awesome
beauty of mere form! The wide spaces,
the mighty columns, the tempered white light of
majestic Roman windows! The absence of
striving for effect! The peace, the restfulness,
the cheerfulness, when striving for effect are
abandoned, dwarfing the magnitude of crowds
and reducing their ebbings and flowing to mere
vanity! Like Jennie with her emotions, like
Pansy with her intuitions, Teddy had no words
for these impressions; but the Scarborough
tradition, nursed on <em class="italics">Ancient Rome Restored</em>,
vibrated to their music.</p>
<p>"And here I am, trapped like a rat in a hole!"</p>
<p>So he came back to it. He wondered if he
were awake. Was it possible that ten or fifteen
minutes could have transformed him from a
hard-working, home-loving boy into a fugitive
who had no choice left but to shoot himself?
As for facing the disgrace, he did not consider
it. To stand before his mother charged with
theft, even if it was on her behalf, was not to be
thought of. He couldn't do it, and there was an
end to it. Still less could he go through the other
incidentals, handcuffs, a cell, the court, the
sentence, Bitterwell, and the lifetime that would
come after his release. He could put the pistol
to his heart and, if necessary, he could burn in
hell—if there was a hell; but he couldn't do the
other thing.</p>
<p>And yet to put the pistol to his heart and burn
in hell formed a lamentable choice on their side.</p>
<p>"I'm not a thief," he protested, inwardly. "I
took the money—how could I help it, with dad
sick and ma at the end of everything?—but <em class="italics">I'm
not a thief</em>."</p>
<p>He was sure of that. It became a formula,
not perhaps of comfort, but of justification.
Had he been a thief, he told himself, he could
have faced the music; but it was precisely because he had taken money while preserving his
inner probity that he refused to be judged by the
standards of men. Once more he couldn't express
it in this way to himself; but it was the
conclusion to which his instincts leaped. Only
one tribunal could discern between the good and
evil in his case; so he was resolved to go before it.</p>
<p>In a quiet corner he began to cry. He was
only a boy, with a boy's facility of emotion,
especially of distress. He cried at the thought
of his mother and the girls, with no one to fend
for them, and no Teddy coming home in the
evenings. It was true that, apart from his
filchings, he had been able to fend for them only
to the extent of eighteen per, but there was
always a chance of better days ahead. Even at
the worst of times, they had a good deal of fun
among themselves, and now....</p>
<p>Now his mother would be in the kitchen, beginning
to get supper, and each of the girls would
be making her way back to Indiana Avenue.
Pansy's dog clock would tell her when to watch
for them, and the loving little creature would be
eying the door, ready to welcome each of them
in turn. If she had a preference, it was for
himself, and the feeling of her gentle paws
against his shin was connected with the tenderest
things he knew.</p>
<p>No; it wasn't possible. He couldn't be skyed
on that twenty-third floor, unable to come down,
unable to go home. It <em class="italics">must</em> be a nightmare.
Such things didn't happen. He was Teddy
Follett, a good boy at heart, with an honorable
record in the navy. He had never meant to
steal, but what could he do? The money was
there, to be stacked in the vaults of Collingham
& Law's, not to be touched for months, very
likely, and the home needs imperative. He
couldn't see his father and mother turned out of
house and home because they couldn't pay their
taxes. It was not in common sense. Nothing
was in common sense. That he should be
dragged into court, that his mother should break
her heart, that shame should be showered on his
sisters was ridiculous. Somewhere in the universe
there was a great big principle that was on
his side, though he didn't know what it was.</p>
<p>What he did know was that crying was unmanly.
Sopping up his tears and trying not to
think, he jumped into the first lift that stopped
and got out at floor eleven. There he went
straight to the lavatory, which he now knew how
to place, and once more found the door locked.</p>
<p>Though again it was reprieve, it was reprieve
almost unwelcome. The first passing lift was
going upward, and so he ascended to floor seventeen.
Here again the lavatory was locked, as
it was on floors nineteen and twenty-five, both
of which he tried. He began to understand that
they were locked according to a principle, and
that for those seeking privacy in which to shoot
themselves they offered no resource.</p>
<p>Moreover, offices were closing and the great
building emptying itself rapidly. The rush was
all to the lifts going downward. He, too, must
go downward. To be found skulking in corridors
where he had no business would expose him
to suspicion. After nearly an hour spent above
he descended to the atrium, where Flynn and
Jackman might be watching the cages disgorge,
knowing that in time he must appear from one
of them.</p>
<p>But he walked out without interference. A
far hint of twilight was deepening the atmosphere
round the heads of the great columns, and the
waning sunshine spoke of workers seeking rest.
Streams of men and women, mostly young, were
setting toward each of the exits, to Broadway,
to Fulton Street, to Dey Street; and he had only
to drop into one of them. He chose that toward
Dey Street, finding himself in the open air, in
full exercise of his liberty.</p>
<p>Once more it was hard to believe that there
was a difference between this day and other
days. It would have been so natural to go to
the gym for a plunge or a turn with the foils,
and then home to supper. He discussed with
himself the possibility of a last night with the
family, recoiling only from the fact that it was
precisely there that they would look for him.
Much reading of criminal annals had printed
that detail on his brain—the poor wretch torn
from the warm shelter of his home, with his
wife's arms round him and the baby sleeping in
the cradle. There was no wife or baby in this
case; but to have the thing happen to himself,
with his mother and the girls vainly trying to
stay the course of the law, would be worse than
going to the chair.</p>
<p>He was in the uptown subway, with no outward
difference between himself and the scores
of other young men scanning the evening papers.
Because he didn't know what else to do, he got
out at Chambers Street. He got out at Chambers
Street because there was a ferry there which
would take him over to New Jersey. He went
over to New Jersey because it was his habit at
this hour of the day, and to follow his habit
somehow preserved his sanity. To be on the
same side of the river as his home was a faint,
futile consolation.</p>
<p>And while on the ferryboat a new idea came
to him. In the Erie station he should find a
telephone booth from which he could ring up his
mother and inform her that he was not to be
home that night. Though it would do no good
in the end, it would at least save her from immediate
alarm. Flynn and Jackman were
unknown by face to the family, and if they rang
at the door in search of him they would probably
not tell their tale. Before he reached the
other side he had concocted a story of which his
only fear was as to his ability to tell it on the
wire without breaking down.</p>
<p>It was a bit of good luck to be answered by
Gladys, whom he could "bluff" more easily
than the rest of them.</p>
<p>"Hello, Gladys! This is Ted. Tell ma I'm
in Paterson and shall not get home to-night or
to-morrow night."</p>
<p>He could hear Gladys calling into the interior
of the house:</p>
<p>"Well, <em class="italics">what</em> do you know about that? Ted's
at Paterson and not coming home to-night or
to-morrow night." Into the receiver she said,
"But, Ted, what'll they say at the bank?"</p>
<p>"I may not go back to the bank. This is a
new job. You remember the fellow I was working
for on the side? Well, he's put me into this,
and perhaps I'm going to make money."</p>
<p>"Oh, Ted," Gladys called, delightedly, "how
many plunks?"</p>
<p>"It—it isn't a salary," he stammered. "I—I
may be in the firm. To-morrow I may have to
go to Philadelphia. Tell ma not to worry—and
not to miss me. I'll try to call up from
Philadelphia, but if I can't—Well, anyhow,
give my love to ma and everybody, and if I'm
not home the day after to-morrow, don't think
anything about it."</p>
<p>He put up the receiver before Gladys could
ask any more questions, and felt ready to cry
again. In order not to do that, he walked out
of the station into the street, where the presence
of the crowds compelled him to self-control.
Having nothing to do and nowhere to go, he
walked on and on, getting some relief from his
desolation by the mere fact of movement.</p>
<p>So he walked and walked and walked, headed
vaguely toward the outskirts of the town.
There were vast marshes there into which he
could stray and be lost. The rank grasses in this
early August season were almost as high as his
shoulders, so that he could lie down and be
beyond all human ken. His body might not be
found for weeks, might never be found at all.
Teddy Follett would simply disappear, his fate
remaining a mystery.</p>
<p>Toward seven o'clock, the shabby suburbs
began to show their primrose-colored lights—a
twinkle here, a twinkle there, stringing out in
longer streets to scattered bits of garland. Teddy
felt hungry. Counting his money and finding
that he had two dollars and thirty-one cents, he
was sorry not to be able to transmit the two
dollars to his mother.</p>
<p>Growing more and more hungry, and knowing
he must keep up his nerve, he spied a little
bread-and-pastry shop just where the houses
were thinning out and the marshes invading the
town, as the ocean invaded the marshes. On
entering, he asked for two tongue sandwiches
and half a dozen doughnuts. The woman who
wrapped up the sandwiches and dropped the
doughnuts into a paper bag was an English-speaking
foreigner of the Scandinavian type,
blond, dumpy, with a row of bad teeth and
piercing blue eyes. As she performed her task,
she seemed not to take her eyes from off him,
though her smile was kind, and she called his
attention to the fact that she was giving him
seven doughnuts for his six.</p>
<p>"You don't lif rount here?" she asked, in
counting out the change for his dollar.</p>
<p>"No; just going up the road."</p>
<p>"Well, call again," she said, politely, as he
took his parcels and went out.</p>
<p>Having eaten his two sandwiches, he felt
better, in the sense of being stronger and more
able to face the thing that had to be done. He
was not quite out on the marshes, the long, flat
road cutting straight across them to the nearest
little town. The lights were rarer, but still
there were lights, their saffron growing more
and more luminous as the colors of the sunset
paled out. An occasional motor passed him,
but never a man on foot.</p>
<p>He could have turned in anywhere, and perhaps
for that reason he put off doing so. It
would be easier, he argued, to shoot himself
after dark. It was not dark as yet—only the
long August gloaming. Moreover, the tramping
was a relief, soothing his nerves and working off
some of his horror. He wished he could go on
with it, on and on, into the unknown, where he
would be beyond recognition. But that was
just where the trouble was. For the fugitive
from justice recognition always lay in wait.
He had often heard his father say that in the
banking business you could get away with a
thing for years and years, and yet recognition
would spring on you when least expected. As
for himself, recognition could meet him in any
little town in New Jersey. They would have his
picture in the paper by to-morrow—and, besides,
what was the use?</p>
<p>The dark was undeniably falling when he
noticed on the right a lonely shack with nothing
but the marsh all round it. Coming nearly
abreast of it, he detected a rough path toward
it through the grass. He had no need of a path,
no need of a shack, but, the path and the shack
being there, they offered something to make for.
Since he was obliged to turn aside, he might as
well do it now.</p>
<p>So aside he turned. The path was hardly a
path, and had apparently not been used that
year. Wading through the dank grasses which
caught him about the feet, he could hear small
living things hopping away from his tread, or a
marsh bird rise with a frightened whir of wings.
Water gushed into his shoes, but that, he declared,
wouldn't matter, as he would so soon be
out of the reach of catching cold.</p>
<p>The building proved to be all that fire had left
of a shanty knocked together long ago, probably
for laborers working on the road. The walls were
standing, and it was not quite roofless. There was
no door, and the window was no more than a hole,
but as he ventured within he found the flooring
sound. At least, it bore his weight, and, what was
more amazing still, he tripped over a rough bench
which the fire had spared and the former occupants
had not thought worth the carting away.</p>
<p>It was the very thing. Shooting oneself was
something to be performed with ritual. You
lay down, stretched yourself out, and did it with
a hint of decency.</p>
<p>Teddy groped his way. First he drew the
pistol from his hip pocket, laying it carefully on
the floor and within reach of his hand. Next he
sat down for a minute, but, fearing he would
begin to think, lifted his feet to the bench,
lowered his back, and straightened himself to his
full, flat length. Putting down his hand, he
found he could touch the pistol easily, and therefore
let it lie. He let it lie only because he had
not yet decided where to fire—at his heart or
into his temple.</p>
<p>Outside the hut there was a hoarse, sleepy
croak, then another, and another, and another.
The dangers of light being past, the frogs were
waking to their evening chant. Teddy had always
loved this dreamy, monotonous lullaby,
reminiscent of spring twilights and approaching
holidays. He was glad now that it would be the
last sound to greet his ears on earth. Since he
had to go, it would croon to him softly, cradle
him gently, letting the night of the soul come
down on him consolingly. He was not frightened;
he was only tired—oddly tired, considering
where he was. It would be easier to fall asleep
than do anything else, listening to the co-ax, co-ax,
co-ax, with which the darkness round was filled.</p>
<hr class="docutils"/>
<p class="pfirst">And right at that minute, Flynn, with low
chuckles of laughter, was telling Mrs. Flynn of
the extraordinary adventure of the afternoon.</p>
<p>"We didn't have nothin' on the young guy at
all till we seen him look over at us scared-like,
and he tuck to his heels."</p>
<p>It was a cozy scene—Flynn, in his shirt sleeves
and slippers, smoking his pipe in the dining-room
of a Harlem apartment, while his wife, a plump,
pretty woman, was putting away the spoons and
forks in the drawer of the yellow-oak sideboard.
The noisy Flynn children being packed off to
bed, the father could unbend and become
confidential.</p>
<p>"It's about three weeks now since Jackman
put me wise to money leakin' from Collingham &
Law's, and we couldn't tell where the hole was.
First we'd size up one fella, and then another;
but we'd say it couldn't be him or him. We
looked over this young Follett with the rest, but
only with the rest, and found but wan thing
ag'in' him."</p>
<p>"Didn't he lose his father a short while back?"</p>
<p>"Yes; and that was what made us think of
him. Old Follett was fired from the bank eight
or nine months ago, and yet the family had gone
on livin' very much as they always done."</p>
<p>"That'd be to their credit, wouldn't it?" Mrs. Flynn
suggested, kindly.</p>
<p>"It'd be to some one's credit; and the thing
we wanted to know was if it was to Collingham
& Law's. But we hadn't a thing on him. We
found out he'd paid for the old man's funeral,
and the grave, and all that; but whether old
Follett had left a little wad or whether the
young guy'd found it lyin' around loose, we
couldn't make out at all. And then this afternoon,
as Jackman and me was talkin' it over on
the other side o' Broad Street, who should come
out but me little lord! Well, wan look give the
whole show away. The third degree couldn't ha'
been neater. The very eyes of him when he seen
us on the other side o' the street says, 'My God!
they've got me!' So off he goes—and off we
goes—up Broad Street—into Wall Street—across
to Nassau Street—up Nassau Street—round the
corner into John Street—up to Broadway—over
Broadway—and then we lost him. But we've
done the trick. To-morrow, when he comes to
the bank, we'll have him on the grill. Sooner or
later he'd ha' been on the grill, anyhow."</p>
<p>"But suppose he doesn't come?"</p>
<p>"That'll be a worse give-away than ever."</p>
<p>She turned from the drawer, asking of the
Follett family and learning whatever he had to tell.</p>
<p>"And you say he's a fine boy of about twenty-one."</p>
<p>"That'd about be his age. Yes, a fine, upstanding
lad—and very pop'lar with Jackman
he's always been."</p>
<p>She waited a minute before saying, "Oh, Peter,
I wish you'd let him off."</p>
<p>"Ah, now, Tessie," he expostulated, "there
you go again! If you had your way, there'd be
no law at all."</p>
<p>"Well, I wish there wasn't."</p>
<p>He laughed with a jolly guffaw.</p>
<p>"If there was no law, and no one to break it,
where'd your trip to the beach be this summer, and
the new Ford car I'm goin' to get for the boys?
Anyhow, even if we do get him with the goods
on him, which we're pretty sure o' doin' now,
he'll be recommended to mercy on account of
his youth, and p'raps be let off with two years."</p>
<p>"Yes—and what'll he be when he comes out?"</p>
<p>Getting up, he pulled her to him, with his
arm across her shoulder.</p>
<p>"Ah, now, Tessie, don't be lookin' so far
ahead. That's you all over."</p>
<p>And he kissed her.</p>
<hr class="docutils"/>
<p class="pfirst">Gladys, that evening, kissed her mother, in
the hope of kissing away her foreboding. Lizzie
had not been satisfied with Teddy's story on the
telephone.</p>
<p>"I don't understand why he didn't ask to
speak to me," she kept repeating.</p>
<p>"Oh, momma," Gussie explained to her,
"don't you see? It was a long-distance call.
Three minutes is all he was allowed, and of
course he didn't want to pay double. Here's his
chance to make money that we've all been
praying for since the year one; and you pull a
long face over it. Cheer up, momma, <em class="italics">do</em>! Smile!
Smile more! There! That's better. Ted said
himself that you were not to miss him."</p>
<p>So Lizzie did her best to smile, only saying in
her heart, "I don't understand his not speaking
to <em class="italics">me</em>."</p>
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