<h2>CHAPTER XXXII.</h2>
<p>The pleasure of a mother which Agnes experienced did not make
her insensible to the sorrow of a daughter.</p>
<p>Her parents had received the stranger child, along with a
fabricated tale she told “of its appertaining to
another,” without the smallest suspicion; but, by the
secret diligence of the curate, and the nimble tongues of his
elder daughters, the report of all that had passed on the subject
of this unfortunate infant soon circulated through the village;
and Agnes in a few weeks had seen her parents pine away in grief
and shame at her loss of virtue.</p>
<p>She perceived the neighbours avoid, or openly sneer at
<i>her</i>; but that was little—she saw them slight her
aged father and mother upon her account; and she now took the
resolution rather to perish for want in another part of the
country than live where she was known, and so entail an infamy
upon the few who loved her. She slightly hoped, too, that
by disappearing from the town and neighbourhood some little
reward might be allowed her for her banishment by the
dean’s family. In that she was deceived. No
sooner was she gone, indeed, than her guilt was forgotten; but
with her guilt her wants. The dean and his family rejoiced
at her and her child’s departure; but as this mode she had
chosen chanced to be no specified condition in the terms proposed
to her, they did not think they were bound to pay her for it; and
while she was too fearful and bashful to solicit the dean, and
too proud (forlorn as she was) to supplicate his son, they both
concluded she “wanted for nothing;” for to be poor,
and too delicate to complain, they deemed incompatible.</p>
<p>To heighten the sense of her degraded, friendless situation,
she knew that Henry had not been unmindful of his promise to her,
but that he had applied to his cousin in her and his
child’s behalf; for he had acquainted her that
William’s answer was—“all obligations on
<i>his</i> part were now undertaken by his father; for that,
Agnes having chosen (in a fit of malignity upon his marriage) to
apprise the dean of their former intercourse, such conduct had
for ever cancelled all attention due from him to her, or to her
child, beyond what its bare maintenance exacted.”</p>
<p>In vain had Henry explained to him, by a second application,
the predicament in which poor Agnes was involved before she
consented to reveal her secret to his father. William was
happy in an excuse to rid himself of a burthen, and he seemed to
believe, what he wished to be true—that she had forfeited
all claim to his farther notice.</p>
<p>Henry informed her of this unkind reception of his efforts in
her favour in as gentle terms as possible, for she excited his
deepest compassion. Perhaps our <i>own</i> misfortunes are
the cause of our pity for others, even more than <i>their</i>
ills; and Henry’s present sorrows had softened his heart to
peculiar sympathy in woe. He had unhappily found that the
ardour which had hurried him to vindicate the reputation of
Rebecca was likely to deprive him of the blessing of her ever
becoming his proved an offender instead of his wife; for the
dean, chagrined that his son was at length nephew, submitted to
the temptation of punishing the latter, while he forgave the
former. He sent for Henry, and having coldly congratulated
him on his and Rebecca’s innocence, represented to him the
impropriety of marrying the daughter of a poor curate, and laid
his commands on him, “never to harbour such an intention
more.” Henry found this restriction so severe that he
would not promise obedience; but on his next attempt to visit
Rebecca he met a positive repulse from her father, who signified
to him, “that the dean had forbidden him to permit their
farther acquaintance;” and the curate declared “that,
for his own part, he had no will, judgment, or faculties, but
that he submitted in all things to the superior
clergy.”</p>
<p>At the very time young Henry had received the proposal from
Mr. Rymer of his immediate union with his daughter, and the dean
had made no objection Henry waived the happiness for the time
present, and had given a reason why he wished it postponed.
The reason he then gave had its weight; but he had another
concealed, of yet more import. Much as he loved, and looked
forward with rapture to that time when every morning, every
evening, and all the day, he should have the delight of
Rebecca’s society, still there was one other wish nearer
his heart than this one desire which for years had been foremost
in his thoughts, and which not even love could eradicate.
He longed, he pined to know what fate had befallen his
father. Provided he were living, he could conceive no joy
so great as that of seeing him! If he were dead, he was
anxious to pay the tribute of filial piety he owed, by satisfying
his affectionate curiosity in every circumstance of the sad
event.</p>
<p>While a boy he had frequently expressed these sentiments to
both his uncle and his cousin; sometimes they apprised him of the
total improbability of accomplishing his wishes; at other times,
when they saw the disappointment weigh heavy on his mind, they
bade him “wait till he was a man before he could hope to
put his designs in execution.” He did wait. But
on the very day he arrived at the age of twenty-one, he made a
vow—“that to gain intelligence of his father should
be the first important act of his free will.”</p>
<p>Previously to this time he had made all the inquiries
possible, whether any new adventure to that part of Africa in
which he was bred was likely to be undertaken. Of this
there appeared to be no prospect till the intended expedition to
Sierra Leone was announced, and which favoured his hope of being
able to procure a passage, among those adventurers, so near to
the island on which his father was (or had been) prisoner, as to
obtain an opportunity of visiting it by stealth.</p>
<p>Fearing contention, or the being dissuaded from his plans if
he communicated them, he not only formed them in private, but he
kept them secretly; and, his imagination filled with the
kindness, the tenderness, the excess of fondness he had
experienced from his father, beyond any other person in the
world, he had thought with delight on the separation from all his
other kindred, to pay his duty to him, or to his revered
memory. Of late, indeed, there had been an object
introduced to his acquaintance, from whom it was bitter to part;
but his designs had been planned and firmly fixed before he knew
Rebecca; nor could he have tasted contentment even with her at
the expense of his piety to his father.</p>
<p>In the last interview he had with the dean, Henry, perceiving
that his disposition towards him was not less harsh than when a
few days before he had ordered him on board a vessel, found this
the proper time to declare his intentions of accompanying the
fleet to Sierra Leone. His uncle expressed surprise, but
immediately gave him a sum of money in addition to that he had
sent him before, and as much as he thought might defray his
expenses; and, as he gave it, by his willingness, his look, and
his accent, he seemed to say, “I foresee this is the last
you will ever require.”</p>
<p>Young William, though a very dutiful son, was amazed when he
heard of Henry’s project, as “the serious and settled
resolution of a man.”</p>
<p>Lady Clementina, Lord and Lady Bendham, and twenty others,
“wished him a successful voyage,” and thought no more
about him.</p>
<p>It was for Rebecca alone to feel the loss of Henry; it was for
a mind like hers alone to know his worth; nor did this last proof
of it, the quitting her for one who claimed by every tie a
preference, lessen him in her esteem. When, by a message
from him, she became acquainted with his design, much as it
interfered with her happiness, she valued him the more for this
observance of his duty; the more regretted his loss, and the more
anxiously prayed for his return—a return which he, in the
following letter, written just before his departure, taught her
to hope for with augmented impatience.</p>
<blockquote><p>“<span class="smcap">My Dear
Rebecca</span>,</p>
<p>“I do not tell you I am sorry to part from you—you
know I am—and you know all I have suffered since your
father denied me permission to see you.</p>
<p>“But perhaps you do not know the hopes I enjoy, and
which bestow on me a degree of peace; and those I am eager to
tell you.</p>
<p>“I hope, Rebecca, to see you again; I hope to return to
England, and overcome every obstacle to our marriage; and then,
in whatever station we are placed, I shall consider myself as
happy as it is possible to be in this world. I feel a
conviction that you would be happy also.</p>
<p>“Some persons, I know, estimate happiness by fine
houses, gardens, and parks; others by pictures, horses, money,
and various things wholly remote from their own species; but when
I wish to ascertain the real felicity of any rational man, I
always inquire <i>whom he has to love</i>. If I find he has
nobody, or does not love those he has, even in the midst of all
his profusion of finery and grandeur, I pronounce him a being in
deep adversity. In loving you, I am happier than my cousin
William; even though I am obliged to leave you for a time.</p>
<p>“Do not be afraid you should grow old before I return;
age can never alter you in my regard. It is your gentle
nature, your unaffected manners, your easy cheerfulness, your
clear understanding, the sincerity of all your words and actions
which have gained my heart; and while you preserve charms like
these, you will be dearer to me with white hairs and a wrinkled
face than any of your sex, who, not possessing all these
qualities, possess the form and features of perfect beauty.</p>
<p>“You will esteem me, too, I trust, though I should
return on crutches with my poor father, whom I may be obliged to
maintain by daily labour.</p>
<p>“I shall employ all my time, during my absence, in the
study of some art which may enable me to support you both,
provided Heaven will bestow two such blessings on me. In
the cheering thought that it will be so, and in that only, I have
the courage, my dear, dear Rebecca, to say to you</p>
<p>“Farewell! <span class="smcap">H.
Norwynne</span>.”</p>
</blockquote>
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