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<h2> Chapter XLII </h2>
<h3> The Morning of the Trial </h3>
<p>AT one o'clock the next day, Adam was alone in his dull upper room; his
watch lay before him on the table, as if he were counting the long
minutes. He had no knowledge of what was likely to be said by the
witnesses on the trial, for he had shrunk from all the particulars
connected with Hetty's arrest and accusation. This brave active man, who
would have hastened towards any danger or toil to rescue Hetty from an
apprehended wrong or misfortune, felt himself powerless to contemplate
irremediable evil and suffering. The susceptibility which would have been
an impelling force where there was any possibility of action became
helpless anguish when he was obliged to be passive, or else sought an
active outlet in the thought of inflicting justice on Arthur. Energetic
natures, strong for all strenuous deeds, will often rush away from a
hopeless sufferer, as if they were hard-hearted. It is the overmastering
sense of pain that drives them. They shrink by an ungovernable instinct,
as they would shrink from laceration. Adam had brought himself to think of
seeing Hetty, if she would consent to see him, because he thought the
meeting might possibly be a good to her—might help to melt away this
terrible hardness they told him of. If she saw he bore her no ill will for
what she had done to him, she might open her heart to him. But this
resolution had been an immense effort—he trembled at the thought of
seeing her changed face, as a timid woman trembles at the thought of the
surgeon's knife, and he chose now to bear the long hours of suspense
rather than encounter what seemed to him the more intolerable agony of
witnessing her trial.</p>
<p>Deep unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration,
the initiation into a new state. The yearning memories, the bitter regret,
the agonized sympathy, the struggling appeals to the Invisible Right—all
the intense emotions which had filled the days and nights of the past
week, and were compressing themselves again like an eager crowd into the
hours of this single morning, made Adam look back on all the previous
years as if they had been a dim sleepy existence, and he had only now
awaked to full consciousness. It seemed to him as if he had always before
thought it a light thing that men should suffer, as if all that he had
himself endured and called sorrow before was only a moment's stroke that
had never left a bruise. Doubtless a great anguish may do the work of
years, and we may come out from that baptism of fire with a soul full of
new awe and new pity.</p>
<p>"O God," Adam groaned, as he leaned on the table and looked blankly at the
face of the watch, "and men have suffered like this before...and poor
helpless young things have suffered like her....Such a little while ago
looking so happy and so pretty...kissing 'em all, her grandfather and all
of 'em, and they wishing her luck....O my poor, poor Hetty...dost think on
it now?"</p>
<p>Adam started and looked round towards the door. Vixen had begun to
whimper, and there was a sound of a stick and a lame walk on the stairs.
It was Bartle Massey come back. Could it be all over?</p>
<p>Bartle entered quietly, and, going up to Adam, grasped his hand and said,
"I'm just come to look at you, my boy, for the folks are gone out of court
for a bit."</p>
<p>Adam's heart beat so violently he was unable to speak—he could only
return the pressure of his friend's hand—and Bartle, drawing up the
other chair, came and sat in front of him, taking off his hat and his
spectacles.</p>
<p>"That's a thing never happened to me before," he observed, "to go out o'
the door with my spectacles on. I clean forgot to take 'em off."</p>
<p>The old man made this trivial remark, thinking it better not to respond at
all to Adam's agitation: he would gather, in an indirect way, that there
was nothing decisive to communicate at present.</p>
<p>"And now," he said, rising again, "I must see to your having a bit of the
loaf, and some of that wine Mr. Irwine sent this morning. He'll be angry
with me if you don't have it. Come, now," he went on, bringing forward the
bottle and the loaf and pouring some wine into a cup, "I must have a bit
and a sup myself. Drink a drop with me, my lad—drink with me."</p>
<p>Adam pushed the cup gently away and said, entreatingly, "Tell me about it,
Mr. Massey—tell me all about it. Was she there? Have they begun?"</p>
<p>"Yes, my boy, yes—it's taken all the time since I first went; but
they're slow, they're slow; and there's the counsel they've got for her
puts a spoke in the wheel whenever he can, and makes a deal to do with
cross-examining the witnesses and quarrelling with the other lawyers.
That's all he can do for the money they give him; and it's a big sum—it's
a big sum. But he's a 'cute fellow, with an eye that 'ud pick the needles
out of the hay in no time. If a man had got no feelings, it 'ud be as good
as a demonstration to listen to what goes on in court; but a tender heart
makes one stupid. I'd have given up figures for ever only to have had some
good news to bring to you, my poor lad."</p>
<p>"But does it seem to be going against her?" said Adam. "Tell me what
they've said. I must know it now—I must know what they have to bring
against her."</p>
<p>"Why, the chief evidence yet has been the doctors; all but Martin Poyser—poor
Martin. Everybody in court felt for him—it was like one sob, the
sound they made when he came down again. The worst was when they told him
to look at the prisoner at the bar. It was hard work, poor fellow—it
was hard work. Adam, my boy, the blow falls heavily on him as well as you;
you must help poor Martin; you must show courage. Drink some wine now, and
show me you mean to bear it like a man."</p>
<p>Bartle had made the right sort of appeal. Adam, with an air of quiet
obedience, took up the cup and drank a little.</p>
<p>"Tell me how SHE looked," he said presently.</p>
<p>"Frightened, very frightened, when they first brought her in; it was the
first sight of the crowd and the judge, poor creatur. And there's a lot o'
foolish women in fine clothes, with gewgaws all up their arms and feathers
on their heads, sitting near the judge: they've dressed themselves out in
that way, one 'ud think, to be scarecrows and warnings against any man
ever meddling with a woman again. They put up their glasses, and stared
and whispered. But after that she stood like a white image, staring down
at her hands and seeming neither to hear nor see anything. And she's as
white as a sheet. She didn't speak when they asked her if she'd plead
'guilty' or 'not guilty,' and they pleaded 'not guilty' for her. But when
she heard her uncle's name, there seemed to go a shiver right through her;
and when they told him to look at her, she hung her head down, and
cowered, and hid her face in her hands. He'd much ado to speak poor man,
his voice trembled so. And the counsellors—who look as hard as nails
mostly—I saw, spared him as much as they could. Mr. Irwine put
himself near him and went with him out o' court. Ah, it's a great thing in
a man's life to be able to stand by a neighbour and uphold him in such
trouble as that."</p>
<p>"God bless him, and you too, Mr. Massey," said Adam, in a low voice,
laying his hand on Bartle's arm.</p>
<p>"Aye, aye, he's good metal; he gives the right ring when you try him, our
parson does. A man o' sense—says no more than's needful. He's not
one of those that think they can comfort you with chattering, as if folks
who stand by and look on knew a deal better what the trouble was than
those who have to bear it. I've had to do with such folks in my time—in
the south, when I was in trouble myself. Mr. Irwine is to be a witness
himself, by and by, on her side, you know, to speak to her character and
bringing up."</p>
<p>"But the other evidence...does it go hard against her!" said Adam. "What
do you think, Mr. Massey? Tell me the truth."</p>
<p>"Yes, my lad, yes. The truth is the best thing to tell. It must come at
last. The doctors' evidence is heavy on her—is heavy. But she's gone
on denying she's had a child from first to last. These poor silly
women-things—they've not the sense to know it's no use denying
what's proved. It'll make against her with the jury, I doubt, her being so
obstinate: they may be less for recommending her to mercy, if the
verdict's against her. But Mr. Irwine 'ull leave no stone unturned with
the judge—you may rely upon that, Adam."</p>
<p>"Is there nobody to stand by her and seem to care for her in the court?"
said Adam.</p>
<p>"There's the chaplain o' the jail sits near her, but he's a sharp
ferrety-faced man—another sort o' flesh and blood to Mr. Irwine.
They say the jail chaplains are mostly the fag-end o' the clergy."</p>
<p>"There's one man as ought to be there," said Adam bitterly. Presently he
drew himself up and looked fixedly out of the window, apparently turning
over some new idea in his mind.</p>
<p>"Mr. Massey," he said at last, pushing the hair off his forehead, "I'll go
back with you. I'll go into court. It's cowardly of me to keep away. I'll
stand by her—I'll own her—for all she's been deceitful. They
oughtn't to cast her off—her own flesh and blood. We hand folks over
to God's mercy, and show none ourselves. I used to be hard sometimes: I'll
never be hard again. I'll go, Mr. Massey—I'll go with you."</p>
<p>There was a decision in Adam's manner which would have prevented Bartle
from opposing him, even if he had wished to do so. He only said, "Take a
bit, then, and another sup, Adam, for the love of me. See, I must stop and
eat a morsel. Now, you take some."</p>
<p>Nerved by an active resolution, Adam took a morsel of bread and drank some
wine. He was haggard and unshaven, as he had been yesterday, but he stood
upright again, and looked more like the Adam Bede of former days.</p>
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