<h4>CHAPTER XXXV.</h4>
<br/>
<p>The memory of what we have done, without the aid of vanity, would be
little better, I believe, than a congregation of regrets. Even in the
immediate review of a conversation just passed, how many things do we
find which we have forgotten to say, or which might have been said
better, or ought not to have been said at all! After Monsieur de Retz
was gone, I looked back over the half hour he had spent with me, and
instantly remembered a thousand questions which I ought to have asked
him, and a thousand things on which I had better have been silent. I
felt very foolish, too, on remembering that I had proposed to draw
from him all his purposes; and yet that he had made himself master of
the greater part of my history, while I remained as ignorant of the
real object of his visit as if he had never come at all.</p>
<p>My resolution, however, was taken to follow his advice in the matter
of going to Sedan. My reasons for so doing--or rather my motives, for
reasons, nine times in ten, are out of the question in man's
actions--were manifold. I despaired of finding Helen. I was a-weary of
that great heap of stones called Paris, where I knew no one; and I had
upon me one of those fits of impatience, which would have made me run
into the very jaws of destruction to cast off the listlessness of
existence.</p>
<p>My eyes had been fixed upon the table while making these reflections;
and, on raising them, I found Achilles standing opposite to me,
looking in my face with much the air of a dog who sees his master
eating his dinner, and standing upon its hind-legs begs for its share
too. I could as plainly read in the twinkling little grey eyes of the
ci-devant player, and the lack-a-daisical expression of his mouth,
"Pray let me hear the news," as if it had been written in large
letters on his forehead.</p>
<p>"Achilles!" said I--willing to gratify him in the most unpleasant way
possible--a thing one often feels inclined to do to another, after
having somewhat severely schooled oneself--"Achilles, I am going to
leave you."</p>
<p>"I beg your pardon, monseigneur," replied he, calmly, "but that is
quite impossible. You can hardly go anywhere, where I will not follow
you."</p>
<p>"But listen," rejoined I--"I am about to set off for Sedan. I ride
post; and you can as much ride post as you can----"</p>
<p>"Ride to the devil," said Achilles, interrupting me. "I should not
find that very difficult, monseigneur; but I will ride the devil
himself, sooner than part with you again; so, make your noble mind up
to be hunted like a stag from Paris to Sedan, unless you let me ride
quietly by your side."</p>
<p>Though it required no augur's skill to foresee that little Achilles
would prove a great incumbrance on the road, yet, as I found him so
determined on going, I did not object; and bidding him prepare
everything the next morning to set out as soon as I returned from the
Hôtel de Retz, I went to bed and slept soundly till the dawn.</p>
<p>At the hour appointed, I proceeded to keep my engagement; and on
entering the court of the Hôtel de Retz, I found myself suddenly
immersed in all the noise and bustle of a great family's household. It
put me in mind of the tales which our old <i>maître d'hôtel</i> used to
tell of the Château de l'Orme, in the days which he remembered; when,
as he expressed it, there were always a hundred horses in the stable,
and fifty gentlemen in the hall ready to mount at a word of my
grandfather's mouth, and there was nothing but jingling of spurs
except when there was jingling of glasses; and the glittering of arms
in the courtyard was only succeeded by glittering of knives at the
table.</p>
<p>I was immediately shown to the apartments of the Abbé de Retz, where I
found him surrounded by the servants and gentlemen of his own suite,
which was numerous and splendid, in exactly the same proportion as his
personal appearance was simple and unostentatious.</p>
<p>On my arrival, he rose and embraced me; and dismissing his attendants,
presented me with two letters addressed to the Count de Soissons,
which he requested me to deliver--the one from himself, the other from
the Duke of Orleans. "I need not bid you be careful of them," said he,
as he gave the two packets into my hands: "each of them contains as
much treason as would make the executioner's axe swing merrily."</p>
<p>This was rather a startling piece of information; and I believe that
my face, that unfaithful betrayer of secrets, showed in some degree
how much heavier the letters appeared to me after I had heard such
news of their contents. "You seem surprised," said De Retz; "but you
have lived so far from the court that you know not what is going on
there. I do not suppose that there is one man of rank besides yourself
in this great city, who has not qualified himself for the Bastile, or
the Place de Grève. Do you not know that everything with Frenchmen
depends upon fashion? and, let me tell you, that treason is now the
fashion; and that a man that could walk across the court of the Palais
Cardinal, with his head steady upon his shoulders, would be looked
upon by our <i>belles dames</i> as either mean-spirited or under-bred, and
scouted from society accordingly."</p>
<p>"I am afraid that I am within the category," replied I, "for I do not
know anything which should make my head tremble there, or in any other
place."</p>
<p>"Oh, fear not! fear not!" answered Monsieur de Retz. "You will
find Monsieur le Comte de Soissons surrounded by persons who will
speedily put you in the way of as much treason as is necessary to
good-breeding. But let them not lead you too far. Our breakfast is by
this time served in my private dining-hall," he added: "I will send
away the servants; and while we satisfy our hunger, I will give you so
much insight into the characters of the party assembled at Sedan, as
may be necessary to your safety." Thus saying, he led me to a room on
the same floor, where we found a small table spread with various
delicacies, and covers laid for three.</p>
<p>"Remove that cover," said Monsieur de Retz to one of the servants;
"Monsieur de Lizieux is so much past his time that I am afraid he will
not come--and now leave us!" he added; and then, as soon as the room
was clear, "The truth is," said he, "I never expected the good Bishop
of Lizieux, but I told the servants to place a cover for him, because
he is a great friend of the Cardinal de Richelieu; and it could not
get abroad that I was plotting with a stranger, when it is known that
I expected the great enemy of all plots in the person of the worthy
prelate." And he smiled while he told me this piece of art, piquing
himself more upon such petty cunning than upon all the splendid
qualities which his mind really possessed. Yet such perhaps is man's
nature, valuing himself upon things that are contemptible, and very
often affecting, himself, the same follies he condemns in others.</p>
<p>"I give you nothing but fish, you will perceive," said Monsieur de
Retz, as we sat down, "this being a meagre day of our church. Though,
indeed, neither the fasting nor mortification are very great, yet I
always keep these fish days. It is a very reputable method of
devotion, and gains friends amongst the <i>poissardes</i>,--no
insignificant class."</p>
<p>As we proceeded with our meal, he gave me the sketches he had
promised. "Of Monseigneur le Duc de Bouillon," he said, "I shall say
nothing, except that, being a great man and sovereign in his town of
Sedan, I would advise you to show him all respect and attention;
without, however, attaching yourself too strongly to what I may call
his party. Near the person of the count himself, you will find
Monsieur de Varicarville, a man of talent and of sense, moderate in
his passions, firm in his principles, and devotedly attached to the
interest of his lord. A very few days' communication with him will
show you that this statement is correct; and in the meanwhile I will
give you a note to him, which will lead him to open himself to you
more than he would do to a stranger. Another person you will meet is
Monsieur de Bardouville, a man of very good intentions, but with so
muddy a brain, that whatever is placed there, good or bad, sticks so
tenaciously that there is no getting it out. He has been converted to
a wrong party, and does all in his power to hurry Monsieur le Comte
into schemes that would prove his ruin."</p>
<p>"But if his intentions are so good," said I, "were it not worth while
to attempt, at least, to bring him over to better opinions by reason?"</p>
<p>"No, no!" answered De Retz. "One makes a very foolish use of reason
when one employs it on those who have none. Let him alone, Monsieur de
l'Orme. The only man who ever made anything of his head, was the man
that cut it in marble; and then, as Voiture said, he had better have
left it alone, as the bust was not a bit softer than the original.
But to proceed: take notice of Campion, one of the chief domestics
of Monsieur le Comte. He is a man of great probity and sound
judgment--one that you may confide in. You have now <i>my opinion</i> of
the principal persons with whom you will be brought in contact, but of
course you will form your own;" and drawing in his eyes, he considered
me for a moment through the half-closed lids, as if he would have read
in my face what impression all he had said had made upon me.</p>
<p>I could not help smiling, for I saw that the facility with which he
had drawn my history from me the night before had given him no very
high idea of my intellectual powers, and I replied, still smiling, "Of
course, Monsieur de Retz, I <i>shall</i> form my own opinion. I always do,
of every one I meet with."</p>
<p>He did not well understand the smile; and, never contented unless he
read all that was passing in the mind of those with whom he spoke, he
opened his eyes full, and with a frank laugh asked me what I thought,
then, of himself.</p>
<p>I have often remarked that perfect candour sometimes puts the most
wily politician to fault, more than any imitation of his own
doublings; and I replied at once--though I believe there was some
degree of pique in my doing so too--"If you would know frankly what I
think of you, Monsieur de Retz, you must hear what I think of your
conduct since we first met, for that is all that I can personally
judge of."</p>
<p>"Well, well!" replied he, "speak of that, and I will confess if you
are right."</p>
<p>"In respect to your coming to me last night, then," replied I, "I
think you had some motive of which I am not aware." A slight flush
passed over his face, and then a smile, and he nodded to me to go on.
"In regard to the valuable information you have given me to-day, and
for which you have my thanks, I think that the cause of your giving it
is something like the following:--you have some interest in the
proceedings of his highness the Count de Soissons."</p>
<p>"None but his own, upon my honour," interrupted De Retz.</p>
<p>"Granted!" replied I. "Of that I do not pretend to judge; but there
are evidently two parties about the prince, one urging him one way,
and one another. You, Monsieur de Retz, are attached to one of these
parties; and you are very glad of the opportunity of our accidental
meeting, to bias me in favour of that side to which you yourself
adhere, and to throw me--though a person of very little
consequence--into the hands of those with whom you yourself
co-operate. I doubt not," I added, with a smile and a bow, "that your
opinion is perfectly correct, and that to your party I shall finally
adhere, if his highness thinks fit to retain me near his person; but
of course it will be the more gratifying to you to find that I embrace
your opinions more from conviction than persuasion."</p>
<p>I am afraid my politeness had taken somewhat of a triumphant tone,
upon the strength of my supposed discernment; and, even before I had
done speaking, I was aware of my error, and felt that I might be
making an enemy instead of securing a friend; but, as I have said, he
always contrived to disappoint expectation. For a moment he looked
mortified, but his face gradually resumed its good humour; and he
replied with, I believe, real frankness, "Monsieur de l'Orme, you are
right. I own that I have undervalued you, and you make me feel it, for
that is what your conversation points at. But you must give me back
that letter to Monsieur le Comte--I must not mislead him in regard to
your character."</p>
<p>I gave him back the letter, saying, jestingly, that I should much like
to see the reputation which I had acquired on a first interview, and
which was doubtless there written down at full.</p>
<p>"Nay, nay!" replied he, tearing it, "that were useless, and perhaps
worse; but you shall see what I now write, if you will, and I will
write it frankly."</p>
<p>He accordingly led the way again to his library, where he wrote a
short note to the count, which he handed to me. After a few lines of
the ambiguous language in which the politicians of that day were wont
to envelope their meaning, but which evidently did not at all refer to
me, I found the following:--</p>
<p>"This letter will be delivered to your Highness by Count Louis de
Bigorre, whom you have expected so long. I met with him by accident,
and for a time undervalued him; but I find, upon farther knowledge,
that he can see into other people's secrets better than he can conceal
his own. Whether he is capable of discretion on the affairs of his
friends, your highness will judge; for it does not always follow that
a man who gossips of himself will gossip of his neighbours: the same
vanity which prompts the one, will often prevent the other."</p>
<p>I do not believe that I should have been able to maintain the same
appearance of good humour under Monsieur de Retz's castigation, that
he had evinced under mine, had I not observed his eye fix on me as he
gave me the paper, and felt certain that while I read, it was
scrutinizing every change of my countenance, with the microscopic
exactness of a naturalist dissecting a worm. I was upon my guard,
therefore, and took care that my brow should not exhibit a cloud even
as light as the shadow that skims across a summer landscape. "A fair
return in kind," replied I, giving him back the letter, with as calm a
smile as if I had been looking at the portrait of his mistress. "And
as I shall be obliged of necessity to let Monsieur le Comte into <i>all</i>
my secrets, he will be able to judge, when he comes to compare notes
with you, how much your ingenuity drew from me last night, and how
much my poor discretion managed to conceal."</p>
<p>"Excellent good!" cried De Retz, rising and taking me by the hand.
"So, you would have me think that you had not told me all, my dear
count; and would thus leave the devil of curiosity and the fiend of
mortified vanity to tease me between them during your absence; but you
are mistaken. The only use of knowing men's histories is to know their
characters, and I have learned more of yours to-day than I did even
last night. However, it is time for you to depart. There are the
letters," he continued, after having added a few words to that
addressed to the Count. "Travel as privately as you can; and fare you
well. Before we meet again, we shall know enough of each other from
other sources, to spare us the necessity of studying that hard
book--the human mind, without a key."</p>
<p>I accordingly took leave of Monsieur de Retz; and in my way home,
found out the dwelling of a horse-dealer, for the purpose of buying
two nags for Achilles and myself; the necessity of travelling as
privately as possible having induced me to change my intention of
taking the post.</p>
<p>Though in his whole nature and character there is not, I believe, an
honester animal in the world than a horse, yet there must be something
assuredly in a habitual intercourse with him which is very detrimental
to honesty in others, for certainly--and I believe in all ages it has
been so--there cannot be conceived a race of more arrant cheats and
swindlers than the whole set of jockeys, grooms, and horse-dealers.
The very first attempt of the man to whom I at present applied, was to
sell me an old broken-down hack, with a Roman nose which at once
indicated its antiquity, for a fine, vigorous, young horse, as he
called it, well capable of the road. The various ingenious tricks had
been put in practice of boring his teeth, blistering his pasterns,
&c., and his coat shone, as much as fine oil could make it; but still
he stood forth with his original sin of old age rank about him, and I
begged leave to decline the bargain, though the dealer and the
<i>palfrenier</i> both shrugged their shoulders at my obstinacy, and
declared upon their conscience there was not such another horse in the
stable.</p>
<p>After several endeavours to cheat me in the same manner, which they
would not abandon, or by habit could not abandon, although they saw I
was somewhat knowing in the trade, I fixed upon a strong roan horse
for myself, and a light easy going pad for Achilles. The question now
became the price I was to pay, and after the haggling of half an hour,
the dealer agreed to take forty louis for the two, which was about
five more than their value. He declared, however, so help him God,
that he lost by it, and only let me have them in hope of my future
custom.</p>
<p>"I never intend to buy a horse of you again as long as I live,"
replied I, sharply; "so do not suffer that hope to bias you."</p>
<p>"Well, well, take them," said he. "They would soon eat out the money
in corn, and so I should lose it any way."</p>
<p>This matter being settled, I directed them to be brought immediately
to my lodging; making a bargain beforehand for the necessary saddles
and bridles, of which the good dealer kept a store at hand; and then
sped on to see that all was prepared for our departure.</p>
<p>It was already past mid-day; but everything having been made ready
during my absence by the activity of my little attendant, as soon as
the horses were brought, we loaded them with our bags and our persons,
and set out for Sedan. Be it remarked, however, that I still
maintained my little lodging in the Rue des Prêtres Saint Paul, as
from some words dropped by the Abbé de Retz, I fancied that I might
have occasion to return to Paris on the affairs of Monsieur le Comte.</p>
<p>The ambling jennet which I had bought for Achilles was so much easier
than any horse whose back he had ever yet honoured, that the poor
little man, after having anticipated the pains of hell, found himself
in elysium; and declared that he could ride to Jerusalem and back
without considering it a pilgrimage. I was resolved, however, to put
his horsemanship to the proof; for though I did not seek to call
attention to myself, by galloping like an express, in that age when
even one's horse's pace was matter of suspicion, yet, as the way was
long, I calculated that we might at least reach Jouarre that night.</p>
<p>This we accomplished easily. Stopping but half an hour at Meaux to
feed our horses, and then proceeding with all speed, we saw La Ferté
not far off, at about an hour before sunset, with its beautiful abbey
standing out clear and rich against the evening sky; and the sweet
valley of the Morin winding away in the soft obscurity of the
declining light.</p>
<p>Turning out of one of the byroads, a horseman overtook us, and
saluting us civilly, joined himself to our party. From the hint
Monsieur de Retz had given me concerning the letter of the Duke of
Orleans, I thought it best to avoid all communication with strangers,
and therefore gave but very cold encouragement to our new companion's
advances. He was a small, keen, resolute-looking little man, and not
to be repulsed easily, as I very soon found; for, perceiving that I
was not inclined to continue the conversation which he had commenced,
he took the whole burden of it upon himself; and with a peculiar
talent for hypotheses, he raised as many conjectures concerning the
point to which our journey tended, and our particular object in
journeying, as would have found employment for at least a hundred, if
they had all been true.</p>
<p>I remembered that Cæsar, in some part of his Commentaries, attributes
particularly to the Gauls a bad habit of stopping strangers and asking
them impertinent questions; and I could not help thinking that the
valiant Roman, in some of his adventures, must have met with the
ancestors of our new companion. We jogged on, however, I maintaining
my silence, and Achilles <i>playing</i> the stranger, as I have seen a
skilful fisherman play a large trout.</p>
<p>When the horseman discovered that our nature was not of a very
communicative quality, he seemed to think that perhaps we required him
to open the way, and therefore he told us that he was going to La
Ferté to buy grind-stones, and that he always lodged at the auberge of
the <i>Ecu</i>, which he begged to recommend to us as the best in the town.
It was the very best, he said, beyond dispute: we should find good
beds, good victuals, and good wine, all at a reasonable rate; and he
farther hinted, that, if we desired such a thing, we might have the
advantage of his company, to give us an account of the town, and point
out to us its beauties and curiosities. Only if we desired it--he
said--he was not a man to force his society upon any one!</p>
<p>I replied by a bow, which I intended to be very conclusive; but our
new friend was not a man to be satisfied with bows, and therefore he
asked straightforward whether I intended to go to the <i>Ecu</i>. I replied
that it would depend on circumstances. And as we were by this time in
the town of La Ferté, no sooner did I see him draw his rein, as if
about to proceed to his favourite auberge, than I drew mine the
contrary way, and was galloping off, when, to my horror and
astonishment, he turned after me, declaring, with a smile of
patronising kindness, that I was so sweet a youth, he could not think
of parting with me, and therefore, as I would not come to his auberge,
he would come to mine.</p>
<p>The matter was now beyond endurance. "Sir!" said I, pulling in my
rein, and eying him with that cold sort of contemptuous frown which I
had generally found a sufficient shield against impertinence, "be so
good as to pursue your own way, and allow me to pursue mine; I neither
require your society, nor is it agreeable to me; and therefore I wish
you good morning."</p>
<p>"Ho, sir--ho!" replied the stranger, "I am not a man to force my
society upon any one. But you cannot prevent my going to the same inn
with yourself. I read something fortunate in your countenance, and
therefore I am sure that no accident will happen to me while I am
under the same roof with you. The inn where you sleep will not be
burnt down, thieves will not break into it, the rafters will not give
way, and the walls fall in. Sir, I am a physiognomist, a chiromancer,
and astrologer. I am no necromancer, however--I neither evoke spirits,
nor use magic, white or black."</p>
<p>"No, no," replied Achilles, grinning till an improper connection
seemed likely to take place between his mouth and his ears--"no, no,
you may be chiromancer and astrologer, but you are no conjurer; that
is clear enough."</p>
<p>"Silence, Achilles," cried I; "let him pursue his own follies, and
follow me on." Thus saying, I rode forward, resolved rather to climb
the hill to Jouarre than expose myself to encounter any more of the
babbling old fool's impertinence: but this effort was as vain as the
former; for, determined not to be shaken off, he kept close behind me,
till we had reached the beautiful little town of Jouarre, and were
safely lodged in the only auberge which it contained.</p>
<p>The moment after I had entered, in he marched into the kitchen; and,
though the landlord treated him as a stranger, yet there was a
something--I know not what--which impressed upon my mind that there
was some sort of understanding between them. Odd suspicions crossed my
imagination, and I resolved to be upon my guard. At the same time, I
knew that too great an appearance of reserve might excite suspicion,
and consequently I spoke a few quiet words to the landlord, such as a
somewhat taciturn traveller might be supposed to exchange with his
host on his arrival, and then went with Achilles to see that the
horses were properly provided for. In regard to the stranger, he
talked with every one who would talk with him, always taking care,
however, to keep me and my fortunate face in sight; and, indeed, he
seemed gifted with ubiquity, for no sooner did I leave him in the
kitchen than I met him in the stable; and the next moment I found him
again bustling about in the kitchen, ordering his supper with a tone
of great authority.</p>
<p>For his part, the landlord, who acted also as cook, and who seemed
himself stewed down to nothing from his continual commerce with
stew-pans, showed the stranger a thousand times more submissive
respect than to any one else, bending his elastic knees with an
infinitely lower cringe when the stranger addressed him than when I
did.</p>
<p>As soon as I had supped, we retired to our sleeping-chamber, Achilles
having his allotted place in a small truckle-bed, which must have been
made for him, it fitted so nicely. Before retiring to rest, however, I
took care to secure the letters to the Count de Soissons under my
bolster, fastening the door, which had no lock, with what was perhaps
better, a large heavy bolt.</p>
<p>I slept soundly till the next morning, but on waking I found my poor
little attendant almost speechless with fear. As soon as he could
speak, however, he declared that, in the grey of the morning, he had
seen a ghost glide in he knew not how, proceed to the leathern bags
which contained our effects, and fumble them for a moment or two in a
very mysterious manner. It then glided out, he added, just as I woke,
but with so little noise, that it could not have been the cause of
dissipating my slumber.</p>
<p>"By Heaven! it was a dangerous undertaking!" cried I in a loud voice,
for the benefit of any one within hearing. "Had I chanced to wake I
would have shot it, had it been the best ghost that ever was born.
Examine the bags, Achilles, and see if anything has been stolen."</p>
<p>At the same time, I proceeded to ascertain whether the bolt had been
drawn back by any contrivance from without, but all appeared as I had
left it, and nothing seemed gone from the bags, so that I was obliged
to conclude that either Achilles' imagination had deceived him, or
that some one had gained admission into the chamber (by means I could
not discover) for some other purpose than simple robbery. After the
utmost scrutiny, however, I could not perceive any possible way of
entering the room; and dressing myself as quickly as possible, I
descended, in order to pay my reckoning, and set out immediately.</p>
<p>The landlord stated the sum, and I laid down the money on the table,
piece by piece, which he took up in the same manner, bending his head
over it till it was close to mine, when suddenly he said, in a low
whisper, seeming to count the silver all the time, "You are
accompanied by a spy. If you want to conceal whither you go, mount and
begone with all speed, and take care of your road."</p>
<p>I replied nothing, but hurried the preparation of the horses as much
as possible, and was in hopes of escaping before my persecutor of the
night made his appearance; but just as I had my foot in the stirrup,
his visage presented itself at the door, crying with the most
indomptible impudence, "Wait for me! wait for me! I will not be a
moment." As may be well supposed, I did not even wait to reply; but
putting spurs to my horse, I set off down the hill, begging Achilles
to seduce his beast into a gallop, if possible. The little man did his
best; and so successful were we in our endeavours, that we soon left
Jouarre far behind us: and on turning to look back on the road after
half-an-hour's hard riding, I could see nothing but a blessed void,
which gave me more pleasure than anything I could have beheld.</p>
<p>I slackened not my pace, however, but rode on towards Montmirail as
fast as possible, thinking over the circumstances which had given rise
to my galloping. The minister, I knew, with the jealous suspicion of
usurped power, maintained a complete regiment of spies, scattered all
over the kingdom, and invested with every different character and
appearance which could disguise their real occupation; and I doubted
not that, according to the landlord's hint at Jouarre, our talkative
companion was one of this respectable troop. The character which he
assumed was certainly a singular one, but it must be confessed he
played it to admiration; and I congratulated myself not a little on
having escaped the pursuit of such a vampire.</p>
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