<h4>CHAPTER VIII.</h4>
<p>My first care, after finding myself completely settled at Saragossa,
was to overcome the difficulties of the Spanish language. I had
studied it superficially long before, and, thanks to my Bearnaise
tongue, I now accomplished the hardest part of the undertaking,
namely, the pronunciation, which is very rarely acquired by Frenchmen
in general. By the time this was gained, I had been three months in
Spain, living in a state of high ease and tranquillity, very much
against my will; finding nothing to excite or to romance upon; and, at
best, meeting with but those little adventures which are unworthy, if
not unfit for detail. It was not, however, my fault. I went
continually to the Teatro, to the Plaza de Toros, and to all those
places where one may most easily get one's self into mischief, without
accomplishing my object; going from one to the other with the most
provoking, quiet, uninterrupted facility that fortune could furnish
forth to annoy me withal. Every one was calm, polite, and cold; no one
fell in love with me; no one quarrelled with me; no one took any
notice of me, and I was beginning to think the Spaniards the most
stupid, sober, mole-like race that the world contained, when some
circumstances occurred, which, from the very first excited my
curiosity, if they did not reach any more violent passion.</p>
<p>I have said, that the room which I had chosen looked into the street
wherein we lodged, and also that that street was very narrow. At
first, I had hoped to draw something from this circumstance, having
always entertained high ideas of the pleasures and agitations of
making love across a street, and for the whole first night after our
arrival, I amused myself with fancying some very beautiful lady, with
some very horrible guardian, who would find means of conversing with
me from the <i>jalousies</i> on the other side.</p>
<p>I was soon undeceived; a very little knowledge of the localities
showing me that the windows opposite to my own were placed in the back
of a row of houses, forming one side of the principal street, to which
our own was parallel; and I had reason to believe that none but
servants and inferior persons in general dwelt in those rooms, the
windows of which might communicate with mine. This was a
disappointment, and I thought no more of it till one evening, when I
had been riding in the environs with the Chevalier de Montenero, who,
in general, gave me about an hour of his society every day. The rest
of his time was principally spent, I understood, in reading and
writing, and in bringing to a conclusion some affairs of importance,
which had accumulated during a long absence in the New World, where,
my talkative landlady assured me, he had won high honours both as a
statesman and a warrior. On the day which I speak of, however, we had
been absent nearly three hours, and, returning somewhat heated, I
threw myself down before the open window, with a book in my hand. How
I happened to raise my eyes to the opposite houses, I know not; but
doing so, I saw the fingers of a hand so fair, that it could belong to
no servant, resting on the bars of the <i>jalousie</i>, while, at the same
time, a very bright pair of eyes glittered through the aperture,
apparently rather turned down the street, as if watching for the
coming of some one.</p>
<p>My own <i>jalousie</i> was drawn for the sake of the shade, so that I could
observe without being remarked; and, approaching the window, in a few
minutes after, I saw a priest enter at a small door, just below the
window, where the eyes were watching. I concluded that this was the
father confessor, and I took care to see him depart; after which I
partly opened my blind, and remarked, behind the one opposite, the
same eyes I had before seen, but now evidently turned towards myself,
and I determined not to lose, for lack of boldness, whatever good
fortune should fall in my way.</p>
<p>Love, of course, was out of the question: for I certainly loved Helen
now as deeply as ever; and having no excuse, I shall not seek one, nor
even try to palliate my fault. The only incentives I had, were
idleness, youth, and a passion for adventure; but these were quite
sufficient to carry me headlong on, upon the first mad scheme that
opened to my view. Every one, I believe, feels, or must have felt,
sensations somewhat similar, when the heart's wild spirit seems
rioting to be free, and hurrying on reason, and thought, and virtue
tumultuously along the mad course of passion, till each is trodden
down in turn beneath the feet of the follies that come after. What I
sought I hardly know. It was not vice--it was adventure.</p>
<p>From that day forward, I was more frequently at my window than
anywhere else; and I cannot say that the fair object of my watchings
seemed, after a time, to find the proximity of her own blind the most
disagreeable part of her apartment. Indeed, the weather was so warm
and so oppressive, that on more than one occasion she partially opened
her <i>jalousie</i> to admit a freer current of air, giving me, at the same
time, an opportunity of beholding one of the loveliest faces and forms
I ever beheld, though so shadowed by the semi-darkness of the room, as
to throw over the whole a mysterious air of dimness, doubly exciting.
Of course the matter paused not here. I had heard and read a thousand
tales of such encounters; I was as deeply read in all romances of
love, as the Knight of La Mancha was in those of chivalry; and I had
recourse to the only means in my power of commencing a communication
with my fair neighbour--namely, by signs. At first she withdrew, as if
indignant; then endured them; then laughed at them; and, in the end,
somewhat suddenly and abruptly seemed to return them, though so
slightly, that all my ingenuity would not serve me to comprehend what
she sought to express. I had heard that the ladies of Spain were so
skilful in finding the means of carrying on these mute conversations,
that many a tender tale had been told in silently playing with a fan;
and I somewhat wondered to find even one Spanish girl so ignorant of
the language of signs. She had evidently, however, endeavoured to
return an answer to mine, and that was enough to make my heart beat
high.</p>
<p>As soon as night followed upon the day which had beheld this gracious
and favourable change, I returned to my station at the window. The
<i>jalousies</i> were closed, and no sign or symptom announced that any one
was within for near half an hour, when suddenly I heard them move, and
beheld them slowly and cautiously open, to perhaps the extent of three
inches. I could see nothing, but that they were open, though I
strained my eyes to discover what was beyond. However, after a
moment's silence I had my recompense, by hearing a very soft and
musical voice demand, in a low tone, "Are you there?"</p>
<p>"I am," answered I, in the hyperbolic style usual to Spanish
gallants,--"I am, fairest of earth's creatures! and ready to serve you
with life and----"</p>
<p>"Hush!" said the voice. "Go instantly to the theatre, and ask for the
box marked G. Wait there, whatever betide--and say no more."</p>
<p>The <i>jalousie</i> immediately closed; and snatching up my hat, I prepared
to obey the command, when my door opened, and Father Francis appeared
with a light.</p>
<p>"In the dark, my dear Louis!" said he, with some astonishment; "what
are you doing in the dark? Better come and read Seneca with me."</p>
<p>"I am just going to the play," replied I, holding up my hand to my
eyes, as if the sudden light affected them, but, in reality, to cover
a certain crimsoning of the cheek, which the mere presence of so good
and pure a being called up, in spite of my efforts to prevent it.
"They play to-night Calderon's <i>Cisma de Inglaterra</i>."</p>
<p>"You are all too fond of that bad place, a theatre," said Father
Francis; "but I suppose, Louis, that it will always be so at your age.
I must not forget now, when I can no longer enjoy, that you are in the
season of enjoyment, and that I was once like you. However, I hope
that your love of theatres will soon pass. They were instituted,
doubtless, to promote morality, and to do good, but they are sadly
perverted in our day. Well, God be with you!"</p>
<p>I could have well spared the interruption, but more especially the
good father's recommendation to God, when my purpose was not what my
own heart could fully approve. Not that I had any formed design of
evil--not that I had any wish of wronging innocence--nay, nor of
breaking my faith to Helen. 'Twas but excitement I sought; and though
perhaps I wished I had not advanced so far, I was ashamed of drawing
back, and I hurried on to the theatre.</p>
<p>A great crowd was going in; and, following the course of the stream, I
sought for the box marked G. On finding it, I was surprised to
discover that it was one of the curtained boxes reserved for the
principal officers of the city. An old woman had the keys of these
boxes in charge, and to her I applied for admission. The face of
surprise which she assumed I shall not easily forget. "Heyday!" she
exclaimed, "let you into the box of the corregidor! I dare say! Pray,
young sir, where is your order?"</p>
<p>"Here!" said I, nothing abashed, and resolved to accomplish my object;
and, putting my hand in my pocket, I seemed to search for the order
till some persons who were near had passed on. I then produced a
pistole, which the old lady found to be an order in so good and
authentic a form, that she drew forth the key, and proceeded towards
the door, saying, "The corregidor went out of town this morning, and
will not return for two days, so there can be no great harm in letting
you in; but keep the curtains close. You can see and hear very well
through the chinks, without showing yourself in the corregidor's box,
I warrant."</p>
<p>I promised to observe her directions, and entered the box, which was
empty. I seated myself behind the curtains, which, drawn completely
across the front, hid me from the spectators, though I had still a
good view of the stage. The play, indeed, was not what I came to see;
and at first I listened with eager and attentive ears to the sound of
every foot that passed by the door of the box. Actually trembling with
anxiety and excitement, I could hear one person after another go by,
till the tide of spectators began to slacken, and, at last, but the
solitary step of some late straggler sounded along the passage,
hurrying on to make up for his delay. Two or three times, when the
foot was lighter than the rest, or when it seemed to pause near the
door, I started up, and my heart beat till it was actually painful to
feel it throbbing against my side: but, after a while, in order to
calm such sensations, I endeavoured to fix my mind upon the play; and,
won by the cunning of the scene, I gradually entered into the passions
I saw portrayed.</p>
<p>The play (La Cisma de Inglaterra) contained all Calderon's rigour and
wit, and also all his extravagance. The first scene, representing the
dream of Henry VIII., King of England, and his reception of the two
letters from the pope, and from Martin Luther, was too full of petty
conceits to engage me for a moment; but the description of Anne
Bullen, as given by Carlos in the second scene, caught my young
imagination, and the exquisite wit of the court-fool, Pasquin, soon
riveted my attention. This character had been allotted to one of the
best performers of the company; and it was wonderful what point he
gave to the least word of the jester. Calderon had done much, but
every theatrical writer must leave much for the player; and, in this
instance, nothing he could have wished expressed was either omitted or
caricatured. It was all true and simple, from the broad childish
stare, half folly, half satire, with which he exclaimed, "<i>Que soy
galan de galanes</i>," to the face of moralizing meditation, half
bewildered, half severe, with which he commented on the king's
melancholy:--</p>
<br/>
<p>"Triste està Rey, de què sirve<br/>
Quanto puede, quanto manda<br/>
Si no puede, estàr alegre<br/>
Quando quiere?"<br/></p>
<p>The play had proceeded for some time, and I was listening with deep
interest to the exquisite dialogue between the king and Anne Bullen,
in which he first discovers his passion to her, when the door of the
box opened, and a lady entered, wrapped in a black mantilla. Her face
was also concealed with a black velvet mask; and though, after
shutting the door of the box carefully, she dropped the mantilla,
discovering a form on whose beauties I will not dwell, she still
retained the mask for some moments, and I could see her hand shake as
it leaned on the back of one of the seats. My heart beat so violently,
that I could scarcely speak; and I would have given worlds for one
word from her lips, to which I might have replied. Time, however, was
not to be lost, and advancing, I offered my hand to lead her forward;
but she raised her finger, saying, in a very low voice, "Hush! Is
there any one in the box to the left?"</p>
<p>"I have heard no one," replied I, rejoicing to recognise the same
tones in which the appointment had been made with me. "Nay, do not
tremble so," I added, laying my hand on hers; and I believe the
agitation which that touch must have told her I experienced myself,
served more to re-assure her than my words. "Why should you fear, with
a friend, a lover, an adorer? Why, too, should you hide your face from
one to whom its lightest look is joy? Will you not take off your
mask?"</p>
<p>The lady made no reply; but, seating herself in the back part of the
box, leaned her head for some time upon her hand, over which the
ringlets of her rich black hair fell in glossy profusion. My agitation
gradually subsided; I added caresses to tender language--I held her
hand in mine--I ventured to carry it to my lips, and I am afraid many
a burning word did passion suggest to my tongue. For a moment or two
she let me retain her hand, seeming totally absorbed by feelings which
gave no other sense power to act; but at length she gently withdrew it
from mine, and, untying a string that passed through her hair, let the
mask drop from her face. If her figure had struck me as lovely, how
transcendently beautiful did her face appear when that which hid it
was thus suddenly removed. She could not be more than eighteen, and
each clear, exquisite feature seemed moulded after the enchanting
specimens of ancient art, but animated with that living grace which
leaves the statue far below. Her lip was all sweetness, and her brow
all bland expanse; but there was a wild energetic fire in her eye,
which spoke of the strong and ardent passions of her country; and
there was also an occasional gleam in it, that had something almost
approaching the intensity of mental wandering. Let me not say that
those eyes were anything less than beautiful. They were of those full,
dark, thrilling orbs, that seem to look deep into the heart of man,
and exercise upon all its pulses a strange, attracting influence, like
that which the bright moon holds over the waters of the world; and
round them swept a long, black, silky fringe, that shaded and softened
without diminishing their lustre by a ray.</p>
<p>As soon as she recovered herself sufficiently to speak, she replied to
my ardent professions in language which, though somewhat wild and
undefined, left me no doubt of her feelings. She told me, too, that
she was the daughter of the corregidor; that her mother was dead, and
that her father loved her even to idolatry; that she returned his
affection; and that never, even were it to wed a monarch, would she
leave him. At the same time she spoke enthusiastically, even wildly,
of love and passion, and to what it might prompt a determined heart.
She spoke, too, of jealousy, but she said it was incompatible with
love, for that a mind which felt like hers would instantly convert its
love into hate, if it once found itself deceived: and what was there,
she asked, that such hate would not do?</p>
<p>On this subject she threw out some dark and mysterious hints, which,
at any other moment, might have made me estimate the dangerous excess
of all her passions; but I was infatuated, and would not see the
perils that surrounded the dim gulf into which I was plunging. We
talked long, and we talked ardently, and in the end, when, some little
time before the play was concluded, she rose to leave me, my brain was
in a whirl that wanted little but the name to be madness.</p>
<p>"Though I have unlimited power over my own actions," said she, "even
perhaps too much so--for, ungrateful that I am!--I sometimes wish my
father loved me less, or more wisely;--but, as I said, though I have
unlimited power over my own actions, some reasons forbade me to-night
receiving you in my own house. To-morrow night you may come. You have
remarked," she added, putting on her mask, and wrapping her mantilla
round her, "a small door under the window of my dressing-room; at
midnight it will be open--come thither, for there are many things I
wish to say." She then enjoined me not to leave the theatre till the
play was completely over, and left me, my whole mind and thoughts in a
state of agitation and confusion hardly to be expressed. I will not
say that conscience did not somewhat whisper I was doing wrong; but
the tumult of excited passion, and the gratification of my spirit of
romance, prevented me even from calculating how far I might be
hurried. There was certainly some vague point where I proposed to stop
short of vice; and I trust I should have done so, even had not other
circumstances intervened to save me therefrom. However that may be,
let it be marked and remembered, from the first, that <i>the steps I
took in wrong, by an extraordinary chain of circumstances, caused all
the misery of my existence</i>.</p>
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