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<h2> CHAPTER XI </h2>
<p>A month had passed since the day on which Unorna had first seen the
Wanderer, and since the evening when she had sat so long in conversation
with Keyork Arabian. The snow lay heavily on all the rolling moorland
about Prague, covering everything up to the very gates of the black city;
and within, all things were as hard and dark and frozen as ever. The sun
was still the sun, no doubt, high above the mist and the gloom which he
had no power to pierce, but no man could say that he had seen him in that
month. At long intervals indeed, a faint rose-coloured glow touched the
high walls of the Hradschin and transfigured for an instant the short
spires of the unfinished cathedral, hundreds of feet above the icebound
river and the sepulchral capital; sometimes, in the dim afternoons, a
little gold filtered through the heavy air and tinged the snow-steeples of
the Teyn Kirche, and yellowed the stately tower of the town hall; but that
was all, so far as the moving throngs of silent beings that filled the
streets could see. The very air men breathed seemed to be stiffening with
damp cold. For that is not the glorious winter of our own dear north,
where the whole earth is a jewel of gleaming crystals hung between two
heavens, between the heaven of the day, and the heaven of the night,
beautiful alike in sunshine and in starlight, under the rays of the moon,
at evening and again at dawn; where the pines and hemlocks are as forests
of plumes powdered thick with dust of silver; where the black ice rings
like a deep-toned bell beneath the heel of the sweeping skate—the
ice that you may follow a hundred miles if you have breath and strength;
where the harshest voice rings musically among the icicles and the
snow-laden boughs; where the quick jingle of sleigh bells far off on the
smooth, deep track brings to the listener the vision of our own merry
Father Christmas, with snowy beard, and apple cheeks, and peaked fur cap,
and mighty gauntlets, and hampers and sacks full of toys and good things
and true northern jollity; where all is young and fresh and free; where
eyes are bright and cheeks are red, and hands are strong and hearts are
brave; where children laugh and tumble in the diamond dust of the dry,
driven snow; where men and women know what happiness can mean; where the
old are as the giant pines, green, silver-crowned landmarks in the human
forest, rather than as dried, twisted, sapless trees fit only to be cut
down and burned, in that dear north to which our hearts and memories still
turn for refreshment, under the Indian suns, and out of the hot splendour
of calm southern seas. The winter of the black city that spans the frozen
Moldau is the winter of the grave, dim as a perpetual afternoon in a land
where no lotus ever grew, cold with the unspeakable frigidness of a
reeking air that thickens as oil but will not be frozen, melancholy as a
stony island of death in a lifeless sea.</p>
<p>A month had gone by, and in that time the love that had so suddenly taken
root in Unorna’s heart had grown to great proportions as love will when,
being strong and real, it is thwarted and repulsed at every turn. For she
was not loved. She had destroyed the idol and rooted out the memory of it,
but she could not take its place. She had spoken the truth when she had
told Keyork that she would be loved for herself, or not at all, and that
she would use neither her secret arts nor her rare gifts to manufacture a
semblance when she longed for a reality.</p>
<p>Almost daily she saw him. As in a dream he came to her and sat by her
side, hour after hour, talking of many things, calm, apparently, and
satisfied in her society, but strangely apathetic and indifferent. Never
once in those many days had she seen his pale face light up with pleasure,
nor his deep eyes show a gleam of interest; never had the tone of his
voice been disturbed in its even monotony; never had the touch of his
hand, when they met and parted, felt the communication of the thrill that
ran through hers.</p>
<p>It was very bitter, for Unorna was proud with the scarcely reasoning pride
of a lawless, highly gifted nature, accustomed to be obeyed and little
used to bending under any influence. She brought all the skill she could
command to her assistance; she talked to him, she told him of herself, she
sought his confidence, she consulted him on every matter, she attempted to
fascinate his imagination with tales of a life which even he could never
have seen; she even sang to him old songs and snatches of wonderful
melodies which, in her childhood, had still survived the advancing wave of
silence that has overwhelmed the Bohemian people within the memory of
living man, bringing a change into the daily life and temperament of a
whole nation which is perhaps unparalleled in any history. He listened, he
smiled, he showed a faint pleasure and a great understanding in all these
things, and he came back day after day to talk and listen again. But that
was all. She felt that she could amuse him without charming him.</p>
<p>And Unorna suffered terribly. Her cheek grew thinner and her eyes gleamed
with sudden fires. She was restless, and her beautiful hands, from seeming
to be carved in white marble, began to look as though they were chiselled
out of delicate transparent alabaster. She slept little and thought much,
and if she did not shed tears, it was because she was too strong to weep
for pain and too proud to weep from anger and disappointment. And yet her
resolution remained firm, for it was part and parcel of her inmost self,
and was guarded by pride on the one hand and an unalterable belief in fate
on the other.</p>
<p>To-day they sat together, as they had so often sat, among the flowers and
the trees in the vast conservatory, she in her tall, carved chair and he
upon a lower seat before her. They had been silent for some minutes. It
was not yet noon, but it might have been early morning in a southern
island, so soft was the light, so freshly scented the air, so peaceful the
tinkle of the tiny fountain. Unorna’s expression was sad, as she gazed in
silence at the man she loved. There was something gone from his face, she
thought, since she had first seen him, and it was to bring that something
back that she would give her life and her soul if she could.</p>
<p>Suddenly her lips moved and a sad melody trembled in the air. Unorna sang,
almost as though singing to herself. The Wanderer’s deep eyes met hers and
he listened.</p>
<p>“When in life’s heaviest hour<br/>
Grief crowds upon the heart<br/>
One wondrous prayer<br/>
My memory repeats.<br/>
<br/>
“The harmony of the living words<br/>
Is full of strength to heal,<br/>
There breathes in them a holy charm<br/>
Past understanding.<br/>
<br/>
“Then, as a burden from my soul,<br/>
Doubt rolls away,<br/>
And I believe—believe in tears,<br/>
And all is light—so light!”<br/></p>
<p>She ceased, and his eyes were still upon her, calm, thoughtful,
dispassionate. The colour began to rise in her cheek. She looked down and
tapped upon the carved arm of the chair with an impatient gesture familiar
to her.</p>
<p>“And what is that one prayer?” asked the Wanderer. “I knew the song long
ago, but I have never guessed what that magic prayer can be like.”</p>
<p>“It must be a woman’s prayer; I cannot tell you what it is.”</p>
<p>“And are you so sad to-day, Unorna? What makes you sing that song?”</p>
<p>“Sad? No, I am not sad,” she answered with an effort. “But the words rose
to my lips and so I sang.”</p>
<p>“They are pretty words,” said her companion, almost indifferently. “And
you have a very beautiful voice,” he added thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Have I? I have been told so, sometimes.”</p>
<p>“Yes. I like to hear you sing, and talk, too. My life is a blank. I do not
know what it would be without you.”</p>
<p>“I am little enough to—those who know me,” said Unorna, growing
pale, and drawing a quick breath.</p>
<p>“You cannot say that. You are not little to me.”</p>
<p>There was a long silence. He gazed at the plants, and his glance wandered
from one to the other, as though he did not see them, being lost in
meditation. The voice had been calm and clear as ever, but it was the
first time he had ever said so much, and Unorna’s heart stood still, half
fire and half ice. She could not speak.</p>
<p>“You are very much to me,” he said again, at last. “Since I have been in
this place a change has come over me. I seem to myself to be a man without
an object, without so much as a real thought. Keyork tells me that there
is something wanting, that the something is woman, and that I ought to
love. I cannot tell. I do not know what love is, and I never knew. Perhaps
it is the absence of it that makes me what I am—a body and an
intelligence without a soul. Even the intelligence I begin to doubt. What
sense has there ever been in all my wanderings? Why have I been in every
place, in every city? What went I forth to see? Not even a reed shaken by
the wind! I have spoken all languages, read thousands of books, known men
in every land—and for what? It is as though I had once had an object
in it all, though I know that there was none. But I have realised the
worthlessness of my life since I have been here. Perhaps you have shown it
to me, or helped me to see it. I cannot tell. I ask myself again and again
what it was all for, and I ask in vain. I am lonely, indeed, in the world,
but it has been my own choice. I remember that I had friends once, when I
was younger, but I cannot tell what has become of one of them. They
wearied me, perhaps, in those days, and the weariness drove me from my own
home. For I have a home, Unorna, and I fancy that when old age gets me at
last I shall go there to die, in one of those old towers by the northern
sea. I was born there, and there my mother died and my father, before I
knew them; it is a sad place! Meanwhile, I may have thirty years, or
forty, or even more to live. Shall I go on living this wandering, aimless
life? And if not what shall I do? Love, says Keyork Arabian—who
never loved anything but himself, but to whom that suffices, for it passes
the love of woman!”</p>
<p>“That is true, indeed,” said Unorna in a low voice.</p>
<p>“And what he says might be true also, if I were capable of loving. But I
feel that I am not. I am as incapable of that as of anything else. I ought
to despise myself, and yet I do not. I am perfectly contented, and if I am
not happy I at least do not realise what unhappiness means. Am I not
always of the same even temper?”</p>
<p>“Indeed you are.” She tried not to speak bitterly, but something in her
tone struck him.</p>
<p>“Ah, I see! You despise me a little for my apathy. Yes, you are quite
right. Man is not made to turn idleness into a fine art, nor to
manufacture contentment out of his own culpable indifference! It is
despicable—and yet, here I am.”</p>
<p>“I never meant that,” cried Unorna with sudden heat. “Even if I had, what
right have I to make myself the judge of your life?”</p>
<p>“The right of friendship,” answered the Wanderer very quietly. “You are my
best friend, Unorna.”</p>
<p>Unorna’s anger rose within her. She remembered how in that very place, and
but a month earlier, she had offered Israel Kafka her friendship, and it
was as though a heavy retribution were now meted out to her for her
cruelty on that day. She remembered his wrath and his passionate
denunciations of friendship, his scornful refusal, his savage attempt to
conquer her will, his failure and his defeat. She remembered how she had
taken her revenge, delivering him over in his sleep to Keyork Arabian’s
will. She wished that, like him, she could escape from the wound of the
word in a senseless lethargy of body and mind. She knew now what he had
suffered, for she suffered it all herself. He, at least, had been free to
speak his mind, to rage and storm and struggle. She must sit still and
hide her agony, at the risk of losing all. She bit her white lips and
turned her head away, and was silent.</p>
<p>“You are my best friend,” the Wanderer repeated in his calm voice, and
every syllable pierced her like a glowing needle. “And does not friendship
give rights which ought to be used? If, as I think, Unorna, you look upon
me as an idler, as a worthless being, as a man without as much as the
shadow of a purpose in the world, it is but natural that you should
despise me a little, even though you may be very fond of me. Do you not
see that?”</p>
<p>Unorna stared at him with an odd expression for a moment.</p>
<p>“Yes—I am fond of you!” she exclaimed, almost harshly. Then she
laughed. He seemed not to notice her tone.</p>
<p>“I never knew what friendship was before,” he went on. “Of course, as I
said, I had friends when I was little more than a boy, boys and young men
like myself, and our friendship came to this, that we laughed, and feasted
and hunted together, and sometimes even quarrelled, and caring little,
thought even less. But in those days there seemed to be nothing between
that and love, and love I never understood, that I can remember. But
friendship like ours, Unorna, was never dreamed of among us. Such
friendship as this, when I often think that I receive all and give nothing
in return.”</p>
<p>Again Unorna laughed, so strangely that the sound of her own voice
startled her.</p>
<p>“Why do you laugh like that?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Because what you say is so unjust to yourself,” she answered, nervously
and scarcely seeing him where he sat. “You seem to think it is all on your
side. And yet, I just told you that I was fond of you.”</p>
<p>“I think it is a fondness greater than friendship that we feel for each
other,” he said, presently, thrusting the probe of a new hope into the
tortured wound.</p>
<p>“Yes?” she spoke faintly, with averted face.</p>
<p>“Something more—a stronger tie, a closer bond. Unorna, do you
believe in the migration of the soul throughout ages, from one body to
another?”</p>
<p>“Sometimes,” she succeeded in saying.</p>
<p>“I do not believe in it,” he continued. “But I see well enough how men
may, since I have known you. We have grown so intimate in these few weeks,
we seem to understand each other so wholly, with so little effort, we
spend such happy, peaceful hours together every day, that I can almost
fancy our two selves having been together through a whole lifetime in some
former state, living together, thinking together, inseparable from birth,
and full of an instinctive, mutual understanding. I do not know whether
that seems an exaggeration to you or not. Has the same idea ever crossed
your mind?”</p>
<p>She said something, or tried to say something, but the words were
inaudible; he interpreted them as expressive of assent, and went on, in a
musing tone, as though talking quite as much to himself as to her.</p>
<p>“And that is the reason why it seems as though we must be more than
friends, though we have known each other so short a time. Perhaps it is
too much to say.”</p>
<p>He hesitated, and paused. Unorna breathed hard, not daring to think of
what might be coming next. He talked so calmly, in such an easy tone, it
was impossible that he could be making love. She remembered the vibrations
in his voice when, a month ago, he had told her his story. She remembered
the inflection of the passionate cry he had uttered when he had seen the
shadow of Beatrice stealing between them, she knew the ring of his speech
when he loved, for she had heard it. It was not there now. And yet, the
effort not to believe would have been too great for her strength.</p>
<p>“Nothing that you could say would be—” she stopped herself—“would
pain me,” she added, desperately, in the attempt to complete the sentence.</p>
<p>He looked somewhat surprised, and then smiled.</p>
<p>“No. I shall never say anything, nor do anything, which could give you
pain. What I meant was this. I feel towards you, and with you, as I can
fancy a man might feel to a dear sister. Can you understand that?”</p>
<p>In spite of herself she started. He had but just said that he would never
give her pain. He did not guess what cruel wounds he was inflicting now.</p>
<p>“You are surprised,” he said, with intolerable self-possession. “I cannot
wonder. I remember to have very often thought that there are few forms of
sentimentality more absurd than that which deceives a man into the idea
that he can with impunity play at being a brother to a young and beautiful
woman. I have always thought so, and I suppose that in whatever remains of
my indolent intelligence I think so still. But intelligence is not always
so reliable as instinct. I am not young enough nor foolish enough either,
to propose that we should swear eternal brother-and-sisterhood—or
perhaps I am not old enough, who can tell? Yet I feel how perfectly safe
it would be for either of us.”</p>
<p>The steel had been thrust home, and could go no farther. Unorna’s unquiet
temper rose at his quiet declaration of his absolute security. The colour
came again to her cheek, a little hotly, and though there was a slight
tremor in her voice when she spoke, yet her eyes flashed beneath the
drooping lids.</p>
<p>“Are you sure it would be safe?” she asked.</p>
<p>“For you, of course there can be no danger possible,” he said, in perfect
simplicity of good faith. “For me—well, I have said it. I cannot
imagine love coming near me in any shape, by degrees or unawares. It is a
strange defect in my nature, but I am glad of it since it makes this
pleasant life possible.”</p>
<p>“And why should you suppose that there is no danger for me?” asked Unorna,
with a quick glance and a silvery laugh. She was recovering her
self-possession.</p>
<p>“For you? Why should there be? How could there be? No woman ever loved me,
then why should you? Besides—there are a thousand reasons, one
better than the other.”</p>
<p>“I confess I would be glad to hear a few of them, my friend. You were good
enough just now to call me young and beautiful. You are young too, and
certainly not repulsive in appearance. You are gifted, you have led an
interesting life—indeed, I cannot help laughing when I think how
many reasons there are for my falling in love with you. But you are very
reassuring, you tell me there is no danger. I am willing to believe.”</p>
<p>“It is safe to do that,” answered the Wanderer with a smile, “unless you
can find at least one reason far stronger than those you give. Young and
passably good-looking men are not rare, and as for men of genius who have
led interesting lives, many thousands have been pointed out to me. Then
why, by any conceivable chance, should your choice fall on me?”</p>
<p>“Perhaps because I am so fond of you already,” said Unorna, looking away
lest her eyes should betray what was so far beyond fondness. “They say
that the most enduring passions are either born in a single instant, or
are the result of a treacherously increasing liking. Take the latter case.
Why is it impossible, for you or for me? We are slipping from mere liking
into friendship, and for all I know we may some day fall headlong from
friendship into love. It would be very foolish no doubt, but it seems to
me quite possible. Do you not see it?”</p>
<p>The Wanderer laughed lightly. It was years since he had laughed, until
this friendship had begun.</p>
<p>“What can I say?” he asked. “If you, the woman, acknowledge yourself
vulnerable, how can I, the man, be so discourteous as to assure you that I
am proof? And yet, I feel that there is no danger for either of us.”</p>
<p>“You are still sure?”</p>
<p>“And if there were, what harm would be done?” he laughed again. “We have
no plighted word to break, and I, at least, am singularly heart free. The
world would not come to an untimely end if we loved each other. Indeed,
the world would have nothing to say about it.”</p>
<p>“To me, it would not,” said Unorna, looking down at her clasped hands.
“But to you—what would the world say, if it learned that you were in
love with Unorna, that you were married to the Witch?”</p>
<p>“The world? What is the world to me, or what am I to it? What is my world?
If it is anything, it consists of a score of men and women who chance to
be spending their allotted time on earth in that corner of the globe in
which I was born, who saw me grow to manhood, and who most inconsequently
arrogate to themselves the privilege of criticising my actions, as they
criticise each other’s; who say loudly that this is right and that is
wrong, and who will be gathered in due time to their insignificant fathers
with their own insignificance thick upon them, as is meet and just. If
that is the world I am not afraid of its judgments in the very improbable
case of my falling in love with you.”</p>
<p>Unorna shook her head. There was a momentary relief in discussing the
consequences of a love not yet born in him.</p>
<p>“That would not be all,” she said. “You have a country, you have a home,
you have obligations—you have all those things which I have not.”</p>
<p>“And not one of those which you have.”</p>
<p>She glanced at him again, for there was a truth in the words which hurt
her. Love, at least, was hers in abundance, and he had it not.</p>
<p>“How foolish it is to talk like this!” she exclaimed. “After all, when
people love, they care very little what the world says. If I loved any
one”—she tried to laugh carelessly—“I am sure I should be
indifferent to everything or every one else.”</p>
<p>“I am sure you would be,” assented the Wanderer.</p>
<p>“Why?” She turned rather suddenly upon him. “Why are you sure?”</p>
<p>“In the first place because you say so, and secondly because you have the
kind of nature which is above common opinion.”</p>
<p>“And what kind of nature may that be?”</p>
<p>“Enthusiastic, passionate, brave.”</p>
<p>“Have I so many good qualities?”</p>
<p>“I am always telling you so.”</p>
<p>“Does it give you pleasure to tell me what you think of me?”</p>
<p>“Does it pain you to hear it?” asked the Wanderer, somewhat surprised at
the uncertainty of her temper, and involuntarily curious as to the cause
of the disturbance.</p>
<p>“Sometimes it does,” Unorna answered.</p>
<p>“I suppose I have grown awkward and tactless in my lonely life. You must
forgive me if I do not understand my mistake. But since I have annoyed
you, I am sorry for it. Perhaps you do not like such speeches because you
think I am flattering you and turning compliments. You are wrong if you
think that. I am sincerely attached to you, and I admire you very much.
May I not say as much as that?”</p>
<p>“Does it do any good to say it?”</p>
<p>“If I may speak of you at all I may express myself with pleasant truths.”</p>
<p>“Truths are not always pleasant. Better not to speak of me at any time.”</p>
<p>“As you will,” answered the Wanderer bending his head as though in
submission to her commands. But he did not continue the conversation, and
a long silence ensued.</p>
<p>He wandered what was passing in her mind, and his reflections led to no
very definite result. Even if the idea of her loving him had presented
itself to his intelligence he would have scouted it, partly on the ground
of its apparent improbability, and partly, perhaps, because he had of late
grown really indolent, and would have resented any occurrence which
threatened to disturb the peaceful, objectless course of his days. He put
down her quick changes of mood to sudden caprice, which he excused readily
enough.</p>
<p>“Why are you so silent?” Unorna asked, after a time.</p>
<p>“I was thinking of you,” he answered, with a smile. “And since you forbade
me to speak of you, I said nothing.”</p>
<p>“How literal you are!” she exclaimed impatiently.</p>
<p>“I could see no figurative application of your words,” he retorted,
beginning to be annoyed at her prolonged ill humour.</p>
<p>“Perhaps there was none.”</p>
<p>“In that case—”</p>
<p>“Oh, do not argue! I detest argument in all shapes, and most of all when I
am expected to answer it. You cannot understand me—you never will—”
She broke off suddenly and looked at him.</p>
<p>She was angry with him, with herself, with everything, and in her anger
she loved him tenfold better than before. Had he not been blinded by his
own absolute coldness he must have read her heart in the look she gave
him, for his eyes met hers. But he saw nothing. The glance had been
involuntary, but Unorna was too thoroughly a woman not to know all that it
had expressed and would have conveyed to the mind of any one not utterly
incapable of love, all that it might have betrayed even to this man who
was her friend and talked of being her brother. She realised with terrible
vividness the extent of her own passion and the appalling indifference of
its objet. A wave of despair rose and swept over her heart. Her sight grew
dim and she was conscious of sharp physical pain. She did not even attempt
to speak, for she had no thoughts which could take the shape of words. She
leaned back in her chair, and tried to draw her breath, closing her eyes,
and wishing she were alone.</p>
<p>“What is the matter?” asked the Wanderer, watching her in surprise.</p>
<p>She did not answer. He rose and stood beside her, and lightly touched her
hand.</p>
<p>“Are you ill?” he asked again.</p>
<p>She pushed him away, almost roughly.</p>
<p>“No,” she answered shortly.</p>
<p>Then, all at once, as though repenting of her gesture, her hand sought his
again, pressed it hard for a moment, and let it fall.</p>
<p>“It is nothing,” she said. “It will pass. Forgive me.”</p>
<p>“Did anything I said——” he began.</p>
<p>“No, no; how absurd!”</p>
<p>“Shall I go. Yes, you would rather be alone——” he hesitated.</p>
<p>“No—yes—yes, go away and come back later. It is the heat
perhaps; is it not hot here?”</p>
<p>“I daresay,” he answered absently.</p>
<p>He took her hand and then left her, wondering exceedingly over a matter
which was of the simplest.</p>
<p>It was some time before Unorna realised that he was gone. She had suffered
a severe shock, not to be explained by any word or words which he had
spoken, as much as by the revelation of her own utter powerlessness, of
her total failure to touch his heart, but most directly of all the
consequence of a sincere passion which was assuming dangerous proportions
and which threatened to sweep away even her pride in its irresistible
course.</p>
<p>She grew calmer when she found herself alone, but in a manner she grew
also more desperate. A resolution began to form itself in her mind which
she would have despised and driven out of her thoughts a few hours
earlier; a resolution destined to lead to strange results. She began to
think of resorting once more to a means other than natural in order to
influence the man she loved.</p>
<p>In the first moments she had felt sure of herself, and the certainty that
the Wanderer had forgotten Beatrice as completely as though she had never
existed had seemed to Unorna a complete triumph. With little or no common
vanity she had nevertheless felt sure that the man must love her for her
own sake. She knew, when she thought of it, that she was beautiful, unlike
other women, and born to charm all living things. She compared in her mind
the powers she controlled at will, and the influence she exercised without
effort over every one who came near her. It had always seemed to her
enough to wish in order to see the realisation of her wishes. But she had
herself never understood how closely the wish was allied with the despotic
power of suggestion which she possessed. But in her love she had put a
watch over her mysterious strength and had controlled it, saying that she
would be loved for herself or not at all. She had been jealous of every
glance, lest it should produce a result not natural. She had waited to be
won, instead of trying to win. She had failed, and passion could be
restrained no longer.</p>
<p>“What does it matter how, if only he is mine!” she exclaimed fiercely, as
she rose from her carved chair an hour after he had left her.</p>
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