<SPAN name="chap28"></SPAN>
<h3> CHAPTER XXVIII </h3>
<h3> IN THE STUDIO </h3>
<p>Jane mounted to the studio; unlocked the door, and, entering, closed it
after her.</p>
<p>The evening sun shone through a western window, imparting an added
richness to the silk screens and hangings; the mauve wistaria of a
Japanese embroidery; or the golden dragon of China on a deep purple
ground, wound up in its own interminable tail, and showing rampant
claws in unexpected places.</p>
<p>Several times already Jane had been into Garth's studio, but always to
fetch something for which he waited eagerly below; and she had never
felt free to linger. Margery had a duplicate key; for she herself went
up every day to open the windows, dust tenderly all special treasures;
and keep it exactly as its owner had liked it kept, when his quick eyes
could look around it. But this key was always on Margery's bunch; and
Jane did not like to ask admission, and risk a possible refusal.</p>
<p>Now, however, she could take her own time; and she seated herself in
one of the low and very deep wicker lounge-chairs, comfortably
upholstered; so exactly fitting her proportions, and supporting arms,
knees, and head, just rightly, that it seemed as if all other chairs
would in future appear inadequate, owing to the absolute perfection of
this one. Ah, to be just that to her beloved! To so fully meet his
need, at every point, that her presence should be to him always a
source of strength, and rest, and consolation.</p>
<p>She looked around the room. It was so like Garth; every detail perfect;
every shade of colour enhancing another, and being enhanced by it. The
arrangements for regulating the light, both from roof and windows; the
easels of all kinds and sizes; clean bareness, where space, and freedom
from dust, were required; the luxurious comfort round the fireplace,
and in nooks and corners; all were so perfect. And the plain brown
wall-paper, of that beautiful quiet shade which has in it no red, and
no yellow; a clear nut-brown. On an easel near the further window stood
an unfinished painting; palette and brushes beside it, just as Garth
had left them when he went out on that morning, nearly three months
ago; and, vaulting over a gate to protect a little animal from
unnecessary pain, was plunged himself into such utter loss and anguish.</p>
<p>Jane rose, and took stock of all his quaint treasures on the
mantelpiece. Especially her mind was held and fascinated by a stout
little bear in brass, sitting solidly yet jauntily on its haunches, its
front paws clasping a brazen pole; its head turned sideways; its small,
beady, eyes, looking straight before it. The chain, from its neck to
the pole denoted captivity and possible fierceness. Jane had no doubt
its head would lift, and its body prove a receptacle for matches; but
she felt equally certain that, should she lift its head and look, no
matches would be within it. This little bear was unmistakably Early
Victorian; a friend of childhood's days; and would not be put to common
uses. She lifted the head. The body was empty. She replaced it gently
on the mantelpiece, and realised that she was deliberately postponing
an ordeal which must be faced.</p>
<p>Deryck had told her of Garth's pictures of the One Woman. Garth,
himself, had now told her even more. But the time had come when she
must see them for herself. It was useless to postpone the moment. She
looked towards the yellow screen.</p>
<p>Then she walked, over to the western window, and threw it wide open.
The sun was dipping gently towards the purple hills. The deep blue of
the sky began to pale, as a hint of lovely rose crept into it. Jane
looked heavenward and, thrusting her hands deeply into her pockets,
spoke aloud. "Before God" she said,—"in case I am never able to say or
think it again, I will say it now—I BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT. I considered
Garth's future happiness, and I considered my own. I decided as I did
for both our sakes, at terrible cost to present joy. But, before God, I
believed I was right; and—I BELIEVE IT STILL."</p>
<p>Jane never said it again.</p>
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