<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER XIII</SPAN></h2>
<h3>SALADS</h3>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="stanza"> <b>“O green and glorious, O herbaceous meat!<br/>
’Twould tempt the dying anchorite to eat.<br/>
<span style="margin-left:.5em">Back to the world he’d turn his weary soul,<br/>
</span> And dip his fingers in the salad bowl!” </b> </div>
</div>
<blockquote>
<p>Nebuchadnezzar <i>v.</i> Sydney Smith—Salt?—No salad-bowl—French
origin—Apocryphal story of Francatelli—Salads <i>and</i> salads—Water-cress
and dirty water—Salad-maker born not made—Lobster
salad—Lettuce, Wipe or wash?—Mayonnaise—Potato
salad—Tomato ditto—Celery ditto—A memorable
ditto.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>If Sydney Smith had only possessed the experience
of old King Nebuchadnezzar, after he had been
“turned out to grass,” the witty prebend might
not have waxed quite so enthusiastic on the
subject of “herbaceous meat.” Still the subject
is a vast and important one, in its connection
with gastronomy, and lends itself to poetry far
easier than doth the little sucking pig, upon
whom Charles Lamb expended so great and
unnecessary a wealth of language.</p>
<p>But look at the terse, perfunctory, and far
from satisfactory manner in which the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</SPAN></span> <i>Encyclopædia</i> attacks the subject. “Salad,” we read,
“is the term given to a preparation of raw herbs
for food. It derives its name from the fact that
salt is one of the chief ingredients used in dressing
a salad.” This statement is not only misleading
but startling; for in the “dressing” of a salad it
would be the act of a lunatic to make salt the
“chief ingredient.”</p>
<p>Long before they had learnt the art of dressing
the herbs, our ancestors partook of cresses
(assorted), celery, and lettuces, after being soaked
in water for a considerable period; and they
dipped the raw herbs into salt before consuming
them. In fact, in many a cheap eating-house
of to-day, the term “salad” means plain lettuce,
or cress, or possibly both, absolutely undressed—in
a state of nature, <i>plus</i> plenty of dirty water.
Even the English cook of the end of the nineteenth
century cannot rid himself, or herself, of
the idea that lettuce, like water-cress, knows the
running brook, or the peaceful pond, as its
natural element. And thirty years before the
end of that century, a salad bowl was absolutely
unknown in nine-tenths of the eating-houses of
Great Britain.</p>
<p>There is no use in blinking the fact that it
is to our lively neighbours that we owe the
introduction of the salad proper. Often as the
writer has been compelled, in these pages, to
inveigh against the torturing of good fish and
flesh by the alien cook, and the high prices
charged for its endowment with an alien flavour,
let that writer (figuratively) place a crown of
endive, tipped with baby onions, upon the brows<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</SPAN></span> of the philanthropist who dressed the first salad,
and gave the recipe to the world. That recipe
has, of course, been improved upon; and although
the <i>savant</i> who writes in the <i>Encyclopædia</i> proclaims
that “salad has always been a favourite
food with civilised nations, and has varied very
little in its composition,” the accuracy of both
statements is open to question.</p>
<p>“Every art,” observes another writer, “has its
monstrosities; gastronomy has not been behind-hand;
and though he must be a bold man who
will venture to blaspheme the elegancies of
French cookery, there comes a time to every
Englishman who may have wandered into a
mistaken admiration of sophisticated messes,
when he longs for the simple diet of his native
land, and vows that the best cookery in the
world, and that which satisfies the most refined
epicureanism, sets up for its ideal—plainness of
good food, and the cultivation of natural tastes.”</p>
<p>And yet the French have taught us, or tried to
teach us, how to prepare a dish of raw herbs, in
the simplest way in the world!</p>
<p>“Now a salad,” says the same writer, “is
simplicity itself, and here is a marvel—it is the
crowning grace of a French dinner, while, on the
other hand, it is little understood and villainously
treated at English tables.” Ahem! I would
qualify that last statement. At <i>some</i> English
tables I have tasted salads compared with which
the happiest effort of the <i>chef</i> deserves not to be
mentioned in the same garlic-laden breath. And
“garlic-laden breath” naturally reminds me of
the story of Francatelli—of which anecdote I do<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</SPAN></span> not believe one word, by the way. It was said
of Franc., whilst <i>chef</i> at the Reform Club, that
his salads were such masterpieces, such things of
beauty, that one of the members questioned him
on the subject.</p>
<p>“How do you manage to introduce such a
delicious flavour into your salads?”</p>
<p>“Ah! that should be my secret,” was the
reply. “But I will tell him to you. After I have
made all my preparations, and the green food is
mixed with the dressing, I chew a little clove of
garlic between my teeth—so—and then breathe
gently over the whole.”</p>
<p>But, as observed before, I do not believe that
garlic story.</p>
<p>O salad, what monstrosities are perpetrated in
thy name! Let the genteel boarding-house
cook-maid, the young lady who has studied
harmony and the higher mathematics at the
Board School, spread herself over the subject;
and then invite the angels to inspect the matter,
and weep! For this is the sort of “harmony”
which the “paying guest,” who can appreciate
the advantages of young and musical society, an
airy front bed-chamber, and a bicycle room, is expected
to enthuse over at the <i>table d’hôte</i>: a <i>mélange</i> of herbs and roots, including water-cress and giant
radishes, swimming in equal parts of vinegar and
oil, and a large proportion of the water in which
the ingredients have been soaking for hours—said
ingredients being minced small, like veal collops,
with a steel knife. And the same salad, the very
identical horror, obtrudes itself on the table at
other genteel establishments than boarding-houses.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</SPAN></span> For they be “mostly fools” who people the
civilised world.</p>
<p>Let it be laid down as a golden rule, that the
concoction of a salad should never, or hardly ever,
be entrusted to the tender mercies of the British
serving-maid. For the salad-maker, like the poet,
is born, not made; and the divine <i>afflatus</i>—I
don’t mean garlic—is as essential in the one as
in the other. We will take the simple mixture,
what is commonly known as the</p>
<h4><i>French Salad</i>,</h4>
<p>first. This is either composed, in the matter of
herbs, of lettuce, chopped taragon, chervil, and
chives; or of endive, with, “lurking in the bowl,”
a <i>chapon</i>, or crust of bread on which a clove of
garlic has been rubbed. But the waiter, an he
be discreet, will ask the customer beforehand if
he prefer that the <i>chapon</i> be omitted. The dressing
is simplicity itself:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Within the bowl of a table-spoon are placed, in
succession, a spot of made mustard, and a sprinkling
of black pepper and salt. The bowl is filled up with
vinegar, and with a fork in the other hand the waiter
stirs quickly the mustard, etc., afterwards emptying
the contents of the spoon over the green-stuff. Then
the spoon is refilled—either twice or thrice, <i>ad lib.</i>—with
Lucca oil, which is also poured over the salad.
Then the final mixing takes place, in the salad bowl.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>But there be many and elaborate ways of salad-making.
Here is the writer’s idea of a</p>
<h4><i>Lobster Salad</i></h4>
<p>for half-a-dozen guests:</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</SPAN></span></p>
<blockquote>
<p>In a soup plate, mix the yolks of two hard-boiled
eggs—boiled for thirty minutes, and afterwards
thrown into cold water—into a smooth paste with a
teaspoonful of made mustard, and a tablespoonful of
plain vinegar, added drop by drop. Keep on stirring,
and add a dessert-spoonful of tarragon vinegar, a few
drops of essence of anchovies, a teaspoonful (<i>not
heaped</i>) of salt, about the same quantity of sifted
sugar, and a good pinch of cayenne. [The tendency
of black pepper is to make a salad gritty, which is
an abomination.] Lastly, add, drop by drop, three
tablespoonfuls of oil. Pour this dressing (which
should be in a continual state of stir) into your salad
bowl. Add the pickings of a hen lobster cut into
dice, and atop of the lobster, lettuces which have
been shred with clean fingers, or with ivory forks;
a little endive may be added, with a slice or two
of beetroot; but no onion (or very little) in a
lobster salad. A few shreds of anchovy may be
placed atop; with beetroot cut into shapes, the
whites of the eggs, and the coral of the lobster, for the
sake of effect; but seek not, O student, to achieve
prettiness of effect to the detriment of practical
utility. I need hardly add that the sooner after its
manufacture a salad is eaten, the better will be its
flavour. And the solid ingredients should only be
mixed with the dressing at the very last moment;
otherwise a sodden, flabby effect will be produced,
which is neither pleasing to the eye, nor calculated
to promote good digestion.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I am perfectly aware that the above is not a
strict <i>Mayonnaise</i> dressing, in which the egg
yolks should be raw, instead of cooked. But,
like the Scotsman, I have “tried baith,” and prefer
my own way, which more resembles the <i>sauce Tartare</i>, than the <i>Mayonnaise</i> of our lively<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</SPAN></span> neighbours, who, by the way, merely wipe, instead
of wash, their lettuces and endive, to
preserve, as they say, the flavour. Of course
this is a matter of taste, but the writer must own
to a preference for the baptised article, which must,
however, on no account be left to soak, but be
simply freed from dirt, grit, and—other things.</p>
<p>What is the origin of the word “<span class="smcap">Mayonnaise</span>”?
No two Frenchmen will give you the
same answer. “Of or belonging to Mayonne”
would seem to be the meaning of the word; but
then there is no such place as Mayonne in the
whole of France. Grimod de la Reyniere maintained
that the proper word was “<span class="smcap">Bayonnaise</span>,”
meaning a native of Bayonne, on the Spanish
frontier. Afterwards Grimod, who was a
resourceful man, got hold of another idea, and
said that the word was probably “<span class="smcap">Mahonnaise</span>,”
and so named in honour of Marshal Richelieu’s
capture of the stronghold of Mahon, in the
island of Minorca. But what had this victory
got to do with a salad dressing? What was the
connection of raw eggs and tarragon vinegar with
Marshal Richelieu? Then up came another
cook, in the person of Carême, who established
it as an absolute certainty that the genuine word
was “<span class="smcap">Magnonnaise</span>,” from the word “<i>manier</i>,”
to manipulate. But as nobody would stand this
definition for long, a fresh search had to be
made; and this time an old Provençal verb was
dug up—<i>mahonner</i>, or more correctly <i>maghonner</i>,
to worry or fatigue. And this is now said
by purists to be the source of <i>Mayonnaise</i>—“something
worried,” or fatigued. And the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</SPAN></span> reason for the gender of the noun is said to be
that in ancient times lovely woman was accustomed
to manipulate the salad with her own fair
fingers. In the time of Rousseau, the phrase <i>retourner la salade avec les doigts</i> was used to
describe a woman as being still young and
beautiful; just as in Yorkshire at the present
time, “she canna mak’ a bit o’ bread” is used to
describe a woman who is of no possible use in the
house. So a <i>Mayonnaise</i> or a <i>Mahonnaise</i>—I care
not which be the correct spelling—was a young
lady who “fatigued” the salad. More shame to
the gallants of the day, who allowed “fatigue”
to be associated with youth and beauty!</p>
<p>But can it possibly matter what the word
means, when the mixture is smooth and savoury;
and so deftly blended that no one flavour
predominates? And herein lies the secret of
every mixture used for the refreshment of the
inner man and woman; whether it be a soup,
a curry, a trifle, a punch, or a cup—no one
ingredient should be of more weight or importance
than another. And that was the secret
of the “delicious gravy” furnished by the celebrated
stew at the “Jolly Farmers,” in <i>The
Old Curiosity Shop</i> of Charles Dickens.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mayonnaise</span> (we will drop for the nonce,
the other spelling) is made thus:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>In the proportions of two egg yolks to half a
pint of Lucca oil, and a small wine-glassful of tarragon
vinegar. Work the yolks smooth in a basin, with a
seasoning of pepper (cayenne for choice), salt, and—according
to the writer’s views—sifted sugar.
Then a few drops of oil, and fewer of vinegar;<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</SPAN></span> stirring the mixture all the time, from right to left,
with a wooden, or ivory, spoon. In good truth ’tis
a “fatiguing” task; and as in very hot weather the
sauce is liable to decompose, or “curdle,” before the
finishing touches are put to it, it may be made over
ice.</p>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-left:25%">
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">“Stir, sisters, stir,<br/>
</span> <span class="i4">Stir with care!” </span> </div>
</div></div>
<p>is the motto for the <i>Mayonnaise</i>-mixer. And
in many cases her only reward consists in the
knowledge that through her art and patience
she has helped to make the sojourn of others
in this vale of tears less tearful and monotonous.</p>
<p>“Onion atoms” should “lurk within the
bowl,” on nearly every occasion, and as for a
potato salad—don’t be afraid, I’m not going to
quote any more Sydney Smith, so don’t get
loading your guns—well, here is the proper way
to make it.</p>
<h4><i>Potato Salad.</i></h4>
<blockquote>
<p>Cut nine or ten average-sized kidney potatoes
(cooked) into slices, half an inch thick, put them in
a salad bowl, and pour over them, after mixing, two
tablespoonfuls of vinegar, one tablespoonful of tarragon
vinegar, six tablespoonfuls of oil, one of minced
parsley, a dessert-spoonful of onions chopped very
fine, with cayenne and salt to taste. Shredded
anchovies may be added, although it is preferable
without; and this salad should be made a couple of
hours or so before partaken of.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The German recipe for a potato salad is too
nasty to quote; and their <span class="smcap">Herring Salad</span>,
although said to be a valuable restorative of nerve<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</SPAN></span> power, by no means presents an attractive appearance,
when served at table. Far more to
the mind and palate of the average epicure is a</p>
<h4><i>Tomato Salad</i>.</h4>
<p>This is the author’s recipe:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Four large tomatoes and one Spanish onion, cut
into thin slices. Mix a spot of mustard, a little
white pepper and salt, with vinegar, in a table-spoon,
pour it over the love apples, etc., and then add two
tablespoonfuls of oil. Mix well, and then sprinkle
over the mixture a few drops of Lea and Perrins’s
Worcester Sauce. For the fair sex, the last part of
the programme may be omitted, but on no account
leave out the breath of sunny Spain. And mark
this well. The man, or woman, who mixes tomatoes
with lettuces, or endives, in the bowl, is hereby
sentenced to translate the whole of this book into
Court English.</p>
</blockquote>
<h4><i>Celery Salad.</i></h4>
<blockquote>
<p>An excellent winter salad is made with beetroot
and celery, cut in thin slices, and served—with or
without onions—either with a mayonnaise sauce, or
with a plain cream sauce: to every tablespoonful of
cream add a teaspoonful of tarragon vinegar, a little
sugar, and a suspicion of cayenne. This salad looks
best served in alternate slices of beet and celery, on
a flat silver dish, around the sauce.</p>
</blockquote>
<h4><i>A Gentleman Salad Maker.</i></h4>
<p>Although in the metropolis it is still customary,
in middle-class households, to hire “outside
help” on the occasion of a dinner-party, we have<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</SPAN></span> not heard for some time of a salad-dresser who
makes house-to-house visitations in the exercise
of his profession. But, at the end of the
18th century, the Chevalier d’Allignac, who
had escaped from Paris to London in the evil
days of the Revolution, made a fortune in this
way. He was paid at the rate of £5 a salad, and
naturally, soon started his own carriage, “in
order that he might pass quickly from house to
house, during the dining hours of the aristocracy.”
High as the fee may appear to be, it is
impossible to measure the width of the gulf
which lies between the salad as made by a lover
of the art, and the kitchen-wench; and a perfect
salad is, like a perfect curry, “far above rubies.”</p>
<h4><i>A Memorable Salad</i></h4>
<p>was once served in my own mansion. The <i>chef</i>, who understood these matters well, when
her hair was free from vine leaves, had been
celebrating her birthday or some other festival;
and had mixed the dressing with Colza oil. Her
funeral was largely attended.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</SPAN></span></p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />