<p><SPAN name="chap57"></SPAN></p>
<h3> CHAPTER 57 </h3>
<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">M</span>r Chuckster’s indignant apprehensions were not without foundation.
Certainly the friendship between the single gentleman and Mr Garland was
not suffered to cool, but had a rapid growth and flourished exceedingly.
They were soon in habits of constant intercourse and communication; and
the single gentleman labouring at this time under a slight attack of
illness—the consequence most probably of his late excited feelings
and subsequent disappointment—furnished a reason for their holding
yet more frequent correspondence; so that some one of the inmates of Abel
Cottage, Finchley, came backwards and forwards between that place and
Bevis Marks, almost every day.</p>
<p>As the pony had now thrown off all disguise, and without any mincing of
the matter or beating about the bush, sturdily refused to be driven by
anybody but Kit, it generally happened that whether old Mr Garland came,
or Mr Abel, Kit was of the party. Of all messages and inquiries, Kit was,
in right of his position, the bearer; thus it came about that, while the
single gentleman remained indisposed, Kit turned into Bevis Marks every
morning with nearly as much regularity as the General Postman.</p>
<p>Mr Sampson Brass, who no doubt had his reasons for looking sharply about
him, soon learnt to distinguish the pony’s trot and the clatter of the
little chaise at the corner of the street. Whenever the sound reached his
ears, he would immediately lay down his pen and fall to rubbing his hands
and exhibiting the greatest glee.</p>
<p>‘Ha ha!’ he would cry. ‘Here’s the pony again! Most remarkable pony,
extremely docile, eh, Mr Richard, eh sir?’</p>
<p>Dick would return some matter-of-course reply, and Mr Brass standing on
the bottom rail of his stool, so as to get a view of the street over the
top of the window-blind, would take an observation of the visitors.</p>
<p>‘The old gentleman again!’ he would exclaim, ‘a very prepossessing old
gentleman, Mr Richard—charming countenance, sir—extremely calm—benevolence
in every feature, sir. He quite realises my idea of King Lear, as he
appeared when in possession of his kingdom, Mr Richard—the same good
humour, the same white hair and partial baldness, the same liability to be
imposed upon. Ah! A sweet subject for contemplation, sir, very sweet!’</p>
<p>Then Mr Garland having alighted and gone up-stairs, Sampson would nod and
smile to Kit from the window, and presently walk out into the street to
greet him, when some such conversation as the following would ensue.</p>
<p>‘Admirably groomed, Kit’—Mr Brass is patting the pony—‘does
you great credit—amazingly sleek and bright to be sure. He literally
looks as if he had been varnished all over.’</p>
<p>Kit touches his hat, smiles, pats the pony himself, and expresses his
conviction, ‘that Mr Brass will not find many like him.’</p>
<p>‘A beautiful animal indeed!’ cries Brass. ‘Sagacious too?’</p>
<p>‘Bless you!’ replies Kit, ‘he knows what you say to him as well as a
Christian does.’</p>
<p>‘Does he indeed!’ cries Brass, who has heard the same thing in the same
place from the same person in the same words a dozen times, but is
paralysed with astonishment notwithstanding. ‘Dear me!’</p>
<p>‘I little thought the first time I saw him, Sir,’ says Kit, pleased with
the attorney’s strong interest in his favourite, ‘that I should come to be
as intimate with him as I am now.’</p>
<p>‘Ah!’ rejoins Mr Brass, brim-full of moral precepts and love of virtue. ‘A
charming subject of reflection for you, very charming. A subject of proper
pride and congratulation, Christopher. Honesty is the best policy.—I
always find it so myself. I lost forty-seven pound ten by being honest
this morning. But it’s all gain, it’s gain!’</p>
<p>Mr Brass slyly tickles his nose with his pen, and looks at Kit with the
water standing in his eyes. Kit thinks that if ever there was a good man
who belied his appearance, that man is Sampson Brass.</p>
<p>‘A man,’ says Sampson, ‘who loses forty-seven pound ten in one morning by
his honesty, is a man to be envied. If it had been eighty pound, the
luxuriousness of feeling would have been increased. Every pound lost,
would have been a hundredweight of happiness gained. The still small
voice, Christopher,’ cries Brass, smiling, and tapping himself on the
bosom, ‘is a-singing comic songs within me, and all is happiness and joy!’</p>
<p>Kit is so improved by the conversation, and finds it go so completely home
to his feelings, that he is considering what he shall say, when Mr Garland
appears. The old gentleman is helped into the chaise with great
obsequiousness by Mr Sampson Brass; and the pony, after shaking his head
several times, and standing for three or four minutes with all his four
legs planted firmly on the ground, as if he had made up his mind never to
stir from that spot, but there to live and die, suddenly darts off,
without the smallest notice, at the rate of twelve English miles an hour.
Then, Mr Brass and his sister (who has joined him at the door) exchange an
odd kind of smile—not at all a pleasant one in its expression—and
return to the society of Mr Richard Swiveller, who, during their absence,
has been regaling himself with various feats of pantomime, and is
discovered at his desk, in a very flushed and heated condition, violently
scratching out nothing with half a penknife.</p>
<p>Whenever Kit came alone, and without the chaise, it always happened that
Sampson Brass was reminded of some mission, calling Mr Swiveller, if not
to Peckham Rye again, at all events to some pretty distant place from
which he could not be expected to return for two or three hours, or in all
probability a much longer period, as that gentleman was not, to say the
truth, renowned for using great expedition on such occasions, but rather
for protracting and spinning out the time to the very utmost limit of
possibility. Mr Swiveller out of sight, Miss Sally immediately withdrew.
Mr Brass would then set the office-door wide open, hum his old tune with
great gaiety of heart, and smile seraphically as before. Kit coming
down-stairs would be called in; entertained with some moral and agreeable
conversation; perhaps entreated to mind the office for an instant while Mr
Brass stepped over the way; and afterwards presented with one or two
half-crowns as the case might be. This occurred so often, that Kit,
nothing doubting but that they came from the single gentleman who had
already rewarded his mother with great liberality, could not enough admire
his generosity; and bought so many cheap presents for her, and for little
Jacob, and for the baby, and for Barbara to boot, that one or other of
them was having some new trifle every day of their lives.</p>
<p>While these acts and deeds were in progress in and out of the office of
Sampson Brass, Richard Swiveller, being often left alone therein, began to
find the time hang heavy on his hands. For the better preservation of his
cheerfulness therefore, and to prevent his faculties from rusting, he
provided himself with a cribbage-board and pack of cards, and accustomed
himself to play at cribbage with a dummy, for twenty, thirty, or sometimes
even fifty thousand pounds aside, besides many hazardous bets to a
considerable amount.</p>
<p>As these games were very silently conducted, notwithstanding the magnitude
of the interests involved, Mr Swiveller began to think that on those
evenings when Mr and Miss Brass were out (and they often went out now) he
heard a kind of snorting or hard-breathing sound in the direction of the
door, which it occurred to him, after some reflection, must proceed from
the small servant, who always had a cold from damp living. Looking
intently that way one night, he plainly distinguished an eye gleaming and
glistening at the keyhole; and having now no doubt that his suspicions
were correct, he stole softly to the door, and pounced upon her before she
was aware of his approach.</p>
<p>‘Oh! I didn’t mean any harm indeed, upon my word I didn’t,’ cried the
small servant, struggling like a much larger one. ‘It’s so very dull,
down-stairs, Please don’t you tell upon me, please don’t.’</p>
<p>‘Tell upon you!’ said Dick. ‘Do you mean to say you were looking through
the keyhole for company?’</p>
<p>‘Yes, upon my word I was,’ replied the small servant.</p>
<p>‘How long have you been cooling your eye there?’ said Dick.</p>
<p>‘Oh ever since you first began to play them cards, and long before.’</p>
<p>Vague recollections of several fantastic exercises with which he had
refreshed himself after the fatigues of business, and to all of which, no
doubt, the small servant was a party, rather disconcerted Mr Swiveller;
but he was not very sensitive on such points, and recovered himself
speedily.</p>
<p>‘Well—come in’—he said, after a little consideration. ‘Here—sit
down, and I’ll teach you how to play.’</p>
<p>‘Oh! I durstn’t do it,’ rejoined the small servant; ‘Miss Sally ‘ud kill
me, if she know’d I come up here.’</p>
<p>‘Have you got a fire down-stairs?’ said Dick.</p>
<p>‘A very little one,’ replied the small servant.</p>
<p>‘Miss Sally couldn’t kill me if she know’d I went down there, so I’ll
come,’ said Richard, putting the cards into his pocket. ‘Why, how thin you
are! What do you mean by it?’</p>
<p>‘It ain’t my fault.’</p>
<p>‘Could you eat any bread and meat?’ said Dick, taking down his hat. ‘Yes?
Ah! I thought so. Did you ever taste beer?’</p>
<p>'I had a sip of it once,’ said
the small servant.</p>
<p>‘Here’s a state of things!’ cried Mr Swiveller, raising his eyes to the
ceiling. ‘She never tasted it—it can’t be tasted in a sip! Why, how
old are you?’</p>
<p>‘I don’t know.’</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller opened his eyes very wide, and appeared thoughtful for a
moment; then, bidding the child mind the door until he came back, vanished
straightway.</p>
<p>Presently, he returned, followed by the boy from the public-house, who
bore in one hand a plate of bread and beef, and in the other a great pot,
filled with some very fragrant compound, which sent forth a grateful
steam, and was indeed choice purl, made after a particular recipe which Mr
Swiveller had imparted to the landlord, at a period when he was deep in
his books and desirous to conciliate his friendship. Relieving the boy of
his burden at the door, and charging his little companion to fasten it to
prevent surprise, Mr Swiveller followed her into the kitchen.</p>
<p>‘There!’ said Richard, putting the plate before her. ‘First of all clear
that off, and then you’ll see what’s next.’</p>
<p>The small servant needed no second bidding, and the plate was soon empty.</p>
<p>‘Next,’ said Dick, handing the purl, ‘take a pull at that; but moderate
your transports, you know, for you’re not used to it. Well, is it good?’</p>
<p>‘Oh! isn’t it?’ said the small servant.</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller appeared gratified beyond all expression by this reply, and
took a long draught himself, steadfastly regarding his companion while he
did so. These preliminaries disposed of, he applied himself to teaching
her the game, which she soon learnt tolerably well, being both
sharp-witted and cunning.</p>
<p>‘Now,’ said Mr Swiveller, putting two sixpences into a saucer, and
trimming the wretched candle, when the cards had been cut and dealt,
‘those are the stakes. If you win, you get ‘em all. If I win, I get ‘em.
To make it seem more real and pleasant, I shall call you the Marchioness,
do you hear?’</p>
<p>The small servant nodded.</p>
<p>‘Then, Marchioness,’ said Mr Swiveller, ‘fire away!’</p>
<p>The Marchioness, holding her cards very tight in both hands, considered
which to play, and Mr Swiveller, assuming the gay and fashionable air
which such society required, took another pull at the tankard, and waited
for her lead.</p>
<div class="fig"> <ANTIMG src="images/0414m.jpg" style="width:100%;" alt="0414m " /><br/></div>
<h5>
<SPAN href="images/0414.jpg" style="width:100%;" ><i>Original</i></SPAN>
</h5>
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