<p><SPAN name="chap36"></SPAN></p>
<h3> CHAPTER 36 </h3>
<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">A</span>s the single gentleman after some weeks’ occupation of his lodgings,
still declined to correspond, by word or gesture, either with Mr Brass or
his sister Sally, but invariably chose Richard Swiveller as his channel of
communication; and as he proved himself in all respects a highly desirable
inmate, paying for everything beforehand, giving very little trouble,
making no noise, and keeping early hours; Mr Richard imperceptibly rose to
an important position in the family, as one who had influence over this
mysterious lodger, and could negotiate with him, for good or evil, when
nobody else durst approach his person.</p>
<p>If the truth must be told, even Mr Swiveller’s approaches to the single
gentleman were of a very distant kind, and met with small encouragement;
but, as he never returned from a monosyllabic conference with the unknown,
without quoting such expressions as ‘Swiveller, I know I can rely upon
you,’—‘I have no hesitation in saying, Swiveller, that I entertain a
regard for you,’—‘Swiveller, you are my friend, and will stand by me
I am sure,’ with many other short speeches of the same familiar and
confiding kind, purporting to have been addressed by the single gentleman
to himself, and to form the staple of their ordinary discourse, neither Mr
Brass nor Miss Sally for a moment questioned the extent of his influence,
but accorded to him their fullest and most unqualified belief.</p>
<p>But quite
apart from, and independent of, this source of popularity, Mr Swiveller
had another, which promised to be equally enduring, and to lighten his
position considerably.</p>
<p>He found favour in the eyes of Miss Sally Brass. Let not the light
scorners of female fascination erect their ears to listen to a new tale of
love which shall serve them for a jest; for Miss Brass, however accurately
formed to be beloved, was not of the loving kind. That amiable virgin,
having clung to the skirts of the Law from her earliest youth; having
sustained herself by their aid, as it were, in her first running alone,
and maintained a firm grasp upon them ever since; had passed her life in a
kind of legal childhood. She had been remarkable, when a tender prattler
for an uncommon talent in counterfeiting the walk and manner of a bailiff:
in which character she had learned to tap her little playfellows on the
shoulder, and to carry them off to imaginary sponging-houses, with a
correctness of imitation which was the surprise and delight of all who
witnessed her performances, and which was only to be exceeded by her
exquisite manner of putting an execution into her doll’s house, and taking
an exact inventory of the chairs and tables. These artless sports had
naturally soothed and cheered the decline of her widowed father: a most
exemplary gentleman (called ‘old Foxey’ by his friends from his extreme
sagacity,) who encouraged them to the utmost, and whose chief regret, on
finding that he drew near to Houndsditch churchyard, was, that his
daughter could not take out an attorney’s certificate and hold a place
upon the roll. Filled with this affectionate and touching sorrow, he had
solemnly confided her to his son Sampson as an invaluable auxiliary; and
from the old gentleman’s decease to the period of which we treat, Miss
Sally Brass had been the prop and pillar of his business.</p>
<p>It is obvious that, having devoted herself from infancy to this one
pursuit and study, Miss Brass could know but little of the world,
otherwise than in connection with the law; and that from a lady gifted
with such high tastes, proficiency in those gentler and softer arts in
which women usually excel, was scarcely to be looked for. Miss Sally’s
accomplishments were all of a masculine and strictly legal kind. They
began with the practice of an attorney and they ended with it. She was in
a state of lawful innocence, so to speak. The law had been her nurse. And,
as bandy-legs or such physical deformities in children are held to be the
consequence of bad nursing, so, if in a mind so beautiful any moral twist
or handiness could be found, Miss Sally Brass’s nurse was alone to blame.</p>
<p>It was upon this lady, then, that Mr Swiveller burst in full freshness as
something new and hitherto undreamed of, lighting up the office with
scraps of song and merriment, conjuring with inkstands and boxes of
wafers, catching three oranges in one hand, balancing stools upon his chin
and penknives on his nose, and constantly performing a hundred other feats
with equal ingenuity; for with such unbendings did Richard, in Mr Brass’s
absence, relieve the tedium of his confinement. These social qualities,
which Miss Sally first discovered by accident, gradually made such an
impression upon her, that she would entreat Mr Swiveller to relax as
though she were not by, which Mr Swiveller, nothing loth, would readily
consent to do. By these means a friendship sprung up between them. Mr
Swiveller gradually came to look upon her as her brother Sampson did, and
as he would have looked upon any other clerk. He imparted to her the
mystery of going the odd man or plain Newmarket for fruit, ginger-beer,
baked potatoes, or even a modest quencher, of which Miss Brass did not
scruple to partake. He would often persuade her to undertake his share of
writing in addition to her own; nay, he would sometimes reward her with a
hearty slap on the back, and protest that she was a devilish good fellow,
a jolly dog, and so forth; all of which compliments Miss Sally would
receive in entire good part and with perfect satisfaction.</p>
<p>One circumstance troubled Mr Swiveller’s mind very much, and that was that
the small servant always remained somewhere in the bowels of the earth
under Bevis Marks, and never came to the surface unless the single
gentleman rang his bell, when she would answer it and immediately
disappear again. She never went out, or came into the office, or had a
clean face, or took off the coarse apron, or looked out of any one of the
windows, or stood at the street-door for a breath of air, or had any rest
or enjoyment whatever. Nobody ever came to see her, nobody spoke of her,
nobody cared about her. Mr Brass had said once, that he believed she was a
‘love-child’ (which means anything but a child of love), and that was all
the information Richard Swiveller could obtain.</p>
<p>‘It’s of no use asking the dragon,’ thought Dick one day, as he sat
contemplating the features of Miss Sally Brass. ‘I suspect if I asked any
questions on that head, our alliance would be at an end. I wonder whether
she is a dragon by-the-bye, or something in the mermaid way. She has
rather a scaly appearance. But mermaids are fond of looking at themselves
in the glass, which she can’t be. And they have a habit of combing their
hair, which she hasn’t. No, she’s a dragon.’</p>
<p>‘Where are you going, old fellow?’ said Dick aloud, as Miss Sally wiped
her pen as usual on the green dress, and uprose from her seat.</p>
<p>‘To dinner,’ answered the dragon.</p>
<p>‘To dinner!’ thought Dick, ‘that’s another circumstance. I don’t believe
that small servant ever has anything to eat.’</p>
<p>‘Sammy won’t be home,’ said Miss Brass. ‘Stop till I come back. I sha’n’t
be long.’</p>
<p>Dick nodded, and followed Miss Brass—with his eyes to the door, and
with his ears to a little back parlour, where she and her brother took
their meals.</p>
<p>‘Now,’ said Dick, walking up and down with his hands in his pockets, ‘I’d
give something—if I had it—to know how they use that child,
and where they keep her. My mother must have been a very inquisitive
woman; I have no doubt I’m marked with a note of interrogation somewhere.
My feelings I smother, but thou hast been the cause of this anguish, my—upon
my word,’ said Mr Swiveller, checking himself and falling thoughtfully
into the client’s chair, ‘I should like to know how they use her!’</p>
<p>After running on, in this way, for some time, Mr Swiveller softly opened
the office door, with the intention of darting across the street for a
glass of the mild porter. At that moment he caught a parting glimpse of
the brown head-dress of Miss Brass flitting down the kitchen stairs. ‘And
by Jove!’ thought Dick, ‘she’s going to feed the small servant. Now or
never!’</p>
<p>First peeping over the handrail and allowing the head-dress to disappear
in the darkness below, he groped his way down, and arrived at the door of
a back kitchen immediately after Miss Brass had entered the same, bearing
in her hand a cold leg of mutton. It was a very dark miserable place, very
low and very damp: the walls disfigured by a thousand rents and blotches.
The water was trickling out of a leaky butt, and a most wretched cat was
lapping up the drops with the sickly eagerness of starvation. The grate,
which was a wide one, was wound and screwed up tight, so as to hold no
more than a little thin sandwich of fire. Everything was locked up; the
coal-cellar, the candle-box, the salt-box, the meat-safe, were all
padlocked. There was nothing that a beetle could have lunched upon. The
pinched and meagre aspect of the place would have killed a chameleon. He
would have known, at the first mouthful, that the air was not eatable, and
must have given up the ghost in despair. The small servant stood with humility in presence of Miss Sally, and hung
her head.</p>
<p>‘Are you there?’ said Miss Sally.</p>
<p>‘Yes, ma’am,’ was the answer in a weak voice.</p>
<p>‘Go further away from the leg of mutton, or you’ll be picking it, I know,’
said Miss Sally.</p>
<p>The girl withdrew into a corner, while Miss Brass took a key from her
pocket, and opening the safe, brought from it a dreary waste of cold
potatoes, looking as eatable as Stonehenge. This she placed before the
small servant, ordering her to sit down before it, and then, taking up a
great carving-knife, made a mighty show of sharpening it upon the
carving-fork.</p>
<p>‘Do you see this?’ said Miss Brass, slicing off about two square inches of
cold mutton, after all this preparation, and holding it out on the point
of the fork.</p>
<p>The small servant looked hard enough at it with her hungry eyes to see
every shred of it, small as it was, and answered, ‘yes.’</p>
<p>‘Then don’t you ever go and say,’ retorted Miss Sally, ‘that you hadn’t
meat here. There, eat it up.’</p>
<p>This was soon done. ‘Now, do you want any more?’ said Miss Sally.</p>
<p>The hungry creature answered with a faint ‘No.’ They were evidently going
through an established form.</p>
<p>‘You’ve been helped once to meat,’ said Miss Brass, summing up the facts;
‘you have had as much as you can eat, you’re asked if you want any more,
and you answer, ‘no!’ Then don’t you ever go and say you were allowanced,
mind that.’</p>
<p>With those words, Miss Sally put the meat away and locked the safe, and
then drawing near to the small servant, overlooked her while she finished
the potatoes.</p>
<p>It was plain that some extraordinary grudge was working in Miss Brass’s
gentle breast, and that it was that which impelled her, without the
smallest present cause, to rap the child with the blade of the knife, now
on her hand, now on her head, and now on her back, as if she found it
quite impossible to stand so close to her without administering a few
slight knocks. But Mr Swiveller was not a little surprised to see his
fellow-clerk, after walking slowly backwards towards the door, as if she
were trying to withdraw herself from the room but could not accomplish it,
dart suddenly forward, and falling on the small servant give her some hard
blows with her clenched hand. The victim cried, but in a subdued manner as
if she feared to raise her voice, and Miss Sally, comforting herself with
a pinch of snuff, ascended the stairs, just as Richard had safely reached
the office.</p>
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