<p><SPAN name="chap02"></SPAN></p>
<h3> CHAPTER 2 </h3>
<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">A</span>fter combating, for nearly a week, the feeling which impelled me to
revisit the place I had quitted under the circumstances already detailed,
I yielded to it at length; and determining that this time I would present
myself by the light of day, bent my steps thither early in the morning.</p>
<p>I walked past the house, and took several turns in the street, with that
kind of hesitation which is natural to a man who is conscious that the
visit he is about to pay is unexpected, and may not be very acceptable.
However, as the door of the shop was shut, and it did not appear likely
that I should be recognized by those within, if I continued merely to pass
up and down before it, I soon conquered this irresolution, and found
myself in the Curiosity Dealer’s warehouse.</p>
<p>The old man and another person were together in the back part, and there
seemed to have been high words between them, for their voices which were
raised to a very high pitch suddenly stopped on my entering, and the old
man advancing hastily towards me, said in a tremulous tone that he was
very glad I had come.</p>
<p>‘You interrupted us at a critical moment,’ said he, pointing to the man
whom I had found in company with him; ‘this fellow will murder me one of
these days. He would have done so, long ago, if he had dared.’</p>
<p>‘Bah! You would swear away my life if you could,’ returned the other,
after bestowing a stare and a frown on me; ‘we all know that!’</p>
<p>‘I almost think I could,’ cried the old man, turning feebly upon him. ‘If
oaths, or prayers, or words, could rid me of you, they should. I would be
quit of you, and would be relieved if you were dead.’</p>
<p>‘I know it,’ returned the other. ‘I said so, didn’t I? But neither oaths,
or prayers, nor words, <i>will </i>kill me, and therefore I live, and mean to
live.’</p>
<p>‘And his mother died!’ cried the old man, passionately clasping his hands
and looking upward; ‘and this is Heaven’s justice!’</p>
<p>The other stood lounging with his foot upon a chair, and regarded him with
a contemptuous sneer. He was a young man of one-and-twenty or thereabouts;
well made, and certainly handsome, though the expression of his face was
far from prepossessing, having in common with his manner and even his
dress, a dissipated, insolent air which repelled one.</p>
<p>‘Justice or no justice,’ said the young fellow, ‘here I am and here I
shall stop till such time as I think fit to go, unless you send for
assistance to put me out—which you won’t do, I know. I tell you
again that I want to see my sister.’</p>
<p>‘<i>Your </i>sister!’ said the old man bitterly.</p>
<p>‘Ah! You can’t change the relationship,’ returned the other. ‘If you
could, you’d have done it long ago. I want to see my sister, that you keep
cooped up here, poisoning her mind with your sly secrets and pretending an
affection for her that you may work her to death, and add a few scraped
shillings every week to the money you can hardly count. I want to see her;
and I will.’</p>
<p>‘Here’s a moralist to talk of poisoned minds! Here’s a generous spirit to
scorn scraped-up shillings!’ cried the old man, turning from him to me. ‘A
profligate, sir, who has forfeited every claim not only upon those who
have the misfortune to be of his blood, but upon society which knows
nothing of him but his misdeeds. A liar too,’ he added, in a lower voice
as he drew closer to me, ‘who knows how dear she is to me, and seeks to
wound me even there, because there is a stranger nearby.’</p>
<p>‘Strangers are nothing to me, grandfather,’ said the young fellow catching
at the word, ‘nor I to them, I hope. The best they can do, is to keep an
eye to their business and leave me to mine. There’s a friend of mine
waiting outside, and as it seems that I may have to wait some time, I’ll
call him in, with your leave.’</p>
<p>Saying this, he stepped to the door, and looking down the street beckoned
several times to some unseen person, who, to judge from the air of
impatience with which these signals were accompanied, required a great
quantity of persuasion to induce him to advance. At length there sauntered
up, on the opposite side of the way—with a bad pretense of passing
by accident—a figure conspicuous for its dirty smartness, which
after a great many frowns and jerks of the head, in resistance of the
invitation, ultimately crossed the road and was brought into the shop.</p>
<p>‘There. It’s Dick Swiveller,’ said the young fellow, pushing him in. ‘Sit
down, Swiveller.’</p>
<p>‘But is the old min agreeable?’ said Mr Swiveller in an undertone.</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller complied, and looking about him with a propitiatory smile,
observed that last week was a fine week for the ducks, and this week was a
fine week for the dust; he also observed that whilst standing by the post
at the street-corner, he had observed a pig with a straw in his mouth
issuing out of the tobacco-shop, from which appearance he augured that
another fine week for the ducks was approaching, and that rain would
certainly ensue. He furthermore took occasion to apologize for any
negligence that might be perceptible in his dress, on the ground that last
night he had had ‘the sun very strong in his eyes’; by which expression he
was understood to convey to his hearers in the most delicate manner
possible, the information that he had been extremely drunk.</p>
<p>‘But what,’ said Mr Swiveller with a sigh, ‘what is the odds so long as
the fire of soul is kindled at the taper of conwiviality, and the wing of
friendship never moults a feather! What is the odds so long as the spirit
is expanded by means of rosy wine, and the present moment is the least
happiest of our existence!’</p>
<p>‘You needn’t act the chairman here,’ said his friend, half aside.</p>
<p>‘Fred!’ cried Mr Swiveller, tapping his nose, ‘a word to the wise is
sufficient for them—we may be good and happy without riches, Fred.
Say not another syllable. I know my cue; smart is the word. Only one
little whisper, Fred—is the old min friendly?’</p>
<p>‘Never you mind,’ replied his friend.</p>
<p>‘Right again, quite right,’ said Mr Swiveller, ‘caution is the word, and
caution is the act.’ with that, he winked as if in preservation of some
deep secret, and folding his arms and leaning back in his chair, looked up
at the ceiling with profound gravity.</p>
<p>It was perhaps not very unreasonable to suspect from what had already
passed, that Mr Swiveller was not quite recovered from the effects of the
powerful sunlight to which he had made allusion; but if no such suspicion
had been awakened by his speech, his wiry hair, dull eyes, and sallow face
would still have been strong witnesses against him. His attire was not, as
he had himself hinted, remarkable for the nicest arrangement, but was in a
state of disorder which strongly induced the idea that he had gone to bed
in it. It consisted of a brown body-coat with a great many brass buttons
up the front and only one behind, a bright check neckerchief, a plaid
waistcoat, soiled white trousers, and a very limp hat, worn with the wrong
side foremost, to hide a hole in the brim. The breast of his coat was
ornamented with an outside pocket from which there peeped forth the
cleanest end of a very large and very ill-favoured handkerchief; his dirty
wristbands were pulled on as far as possible and ostentatiously folded
back over his cuffs; he displayed no gloves, and carried a yellow cane
having at the top a bone hand with the semblance of a ring on its little
finger and a black ball in its grasp. With all these personal advantages
(to which may be added a strong savour of tobacco-smoke, and a prevailing
greasiness of appearance) Mr Swiveller leant back in his chair with his
eyes fixed on the ceiling, and occasionally pitching his voice to the
needful key, obliged the company with a few bars of an intensely dismal
air, and then, in the middle of a note, relapsed into his former silence.</p>
<p>The old man sat himself down in a chair, and with folded hands, looked
sometimes at his grandson and sometimes at his strange companion, as if he
were utterly powerless and had no resource but to leave them to do as they
pleased. The young man reclined against a table at no great distance from
his friend, in apparent indifference to everything that had passed; and I—who
felt the difficulty of any interference, notwithstanding that the old man
had appealed to me, both by words and looks—made the best feint I
could of being occupied in examining some of the goods that were disposed
for sale, and paying very little attention to a person before me.</p>
<p>The silence was not of long duration, for Mr Swiveller, after favouring us
with several melodious assurances that his heart was in the Highlands, and
that he wanted but his Arab steed as a preliminary to the achievement of
great feats of valour and loyalty, removed his eyes from the ceiling and
subsided into prose again.</p>
<div class="fig"> <ANTIMG src="images/0031m.jpg" style="width:100%;" alt="0031m " /><br/></div>
<h5>
<SPAN href="images/0031.jpg" style="width:100%;" ><i>Original</i></SPAN>
</h5>
<p>‘Fred,’ said Mr Swiveller stopping short, as if the idea had suddenly
occurred to him, and speaking in the same audible whisper as before, ‘is
the old min friendly?’</p>
<p>‘What does it matter?’ returned his friend peevishly.</p>
<p>‘No, but <i>is</i> he?’ said Dick.</p>
<p>‘Yes, of course. What do I care whether he is or not?’</p>
<p>Emboldened as it seemed by this reply to enter into a more general
conversation, Mr Swiveller plainly laid himself out to captivate our
attention.</p>
<p>He began by remarking that soda-water, though a good thing in the
abstract, was apt to lie cold upon the stomach unless qualified with
ginger, or a small infusion of brandy, which latter article he held to be
preferable in all cases, saving for the one consideration of expense.
Nobody venturing to dispute these positions, he proceeded to observe that
the human hair was a great retainer of tobacco-smoke, and that the young
gentlemen of Westminster and Eton, after eating vast quantities of apples
to conceal any scent of cigars from their anxious friends, were usually
detected in consequence of their heads possessing this remarkable
property; when he concluded that if the Royal Society would turn their
attention to the circumstance, and endeavour to find in the resources of
science a means of preventing such untoward revelations, they might indeed
be looked upon as benefactors to mankind. These opinions being equally
incontrovertible with those he had already pronounced, he went on to
inform us that Jamaica rum, though unquestionably an agreeable spirit of
great richness and flavour, had the drawback of remaining constantly
present to the taste next day; and nobody being venturous enough to argue
this point either, he increased in confidence and became yet more
companionable and communicative.</p>
<p>‘It’s a devil of a thing, gentlemen,’ said Mr Swiveller, ‘when relations
fall out and disagree. If the wing of friendship should never moult a
feather, the wing of relationship should never be clipped, but be always
expanded and serene. Why should a grandson and grandfather peg away at
each other with mutual wiolence when all might be bliss and concord. Why
not jine hands and forgit it?’</p>
<p>‘Hold your tongue,’ said his friend.</p>
<p>‘Sir,’ replied Mr Swiveller, ‘don’t you interrupt the chair. Gentlemen,
how does the case stand, upon the present occasion? Here is a jolly old
grandfather—I say it with the utmost respect—and here is a
wild, young grandson. The jolly old grandfather says to the wild young
grandson, “I have brought you up and educated you, Fred; I have put you in
the way of getting on in life; you have bolted a little out of course, as
young fellows often do; and you shall never have another chance, nor the
ghost of half a one.” The wild young grandson makes answer to this and
says, “You’re as rich as rich can be; you have been at no uncommon expense
on my account, you’re saving up piles of money for my little sister that
lives with you in a secret, stealthy, hugger-muggering kind of way and
with no manner of enjoyment—why can’t you stand a trifle for your
grown-up relation?” The jolly old grandfather unto this, retorts, not only
that he declines to fork out with that cheerful readiness which is always
so agreeable and pleasant in a gentleman of his time of life, but that he
will bow up, and call names, and make reflections whenever they meet. Then
the plain question is, an’t it a pity that this state of things should
continue, and how much better would it be for the gentleman to hand over a
reasonable amount of tin, and make it all right and comfortable?’</p>
<p>Having delivered this oration with a great many waves and flourishes of
the hand, Mr Swiveller abruptly thrust the head of his cane into his mouth
as if to prevent himself from impairing the effect of his speech by adding
one other word.</p>
<p>‘Why do you hunt and persecute me, God help me!’ said the old man turning
to his grandson. ‘Why do you bring your prolifigate companions here? How
often am I to tell you that my life is one of care and self-denial, and
that I am poor?’</p>
<p>‘How often am I to tell you,’ returned the other, looking coldly at him,
‘that I know better?’</p>
<p>‘You have chosen your own path,’ said the old man. ‘Follow it. Leave Nell
and me to toil and work.’</p>
<p>‘Nell will be a woman soon,’ returned the other, ‘and, bred in your faith,
she’ll forget her brother unless he shows himself sometimes.’</p>
<p>‘Take care,’ said the old man with sparkling eyes, ‘that she does not
forget you when you would have her memory keenest. Take care that the day
don’t come when you walk barefoot in the streets, and she rides by in a
gay carriage of her own.’</p>
<p>‘You mean when she has your money?’ retorted the other. ‘How like a poor
man he talks!’</p>
<p>‘And yet,’ said the old man dropping his voice and speaking like one who
thinks aloud, ‘how poor we are, and what a life it is! The cause is a
young child’s guiltless of all harm or wrong, but nothing goes well with
it! Hope and patience, hope and patience!’</p>
<p>These words were uttered in too low a tone to reach the ears of the young
men. Mr Swiveller appeared to think that they implied some mental struggle
consequent upon the powerful effect of his address, for he poked his
friend with his cane and whispered his conviction that he had administered
‘a clincher,’ and that he expected a commission on the profits.
Discovering his mistake after a while, he appeared to grow rather sleepy
and discontented, and had more than once suggested the propriety of an
immediate departure, when the door opened, and the child herself appeared.</p>
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