<h2><SPAN name="chap40"></SPAN>CHAPTER XL.<br/> Relates to Mr. Harry Foker’s Affairs</h2>
<p>Since that fatal but delightful night in Grosvenor Place, Mr. Harry
Foker’s heart had been in such a state of agitation as you would hardly
have thought so great a philosopher could endure. When we remember what good
advice he had given to Pen in former days, how an early wisdom and knowledge of
the world had manifested itself in this gifted youth; how a constant course of
self-indulgence, such as becomes a gentleman of his means and expectations,
ought by right to have increased his cynicism, and made him, with every
succeeding day of his life, care less and less for every individual in the
world, with the single exception of Mr. Harry Foker, one may wonder that he
should fall into the mishap to which most of us are subject once or twice in
our lives, and disquiet his great mind about a woman. But Foker, though early
wise, was still a man. He could no more escape the common lot than Achilles, or
Ajax, or Lord Nelson, or Adam our first father, and now, his time being come,
young Harry became a victim to Love, the All-conqueror.</p>
<p>When he went to the Back Kitchen that night after quitting Arthur Pendennis at
his staircase-door in Lamb Court, the gin-twist and devilled turkey had no
charms for him, the jokes of his companions fell flatly on his ear; and when
Mr. Hodgen, the singer of ‘The Body Snatcher,’ had a new chant even
more dreadful and humorous than that famous composition, Foker, although he
appeared his friend, and said “Bravo, Hodgen,” as common politeness
and his position as one of the chiefs of the Back Kitchen bound him to do, yet
never distinctly heard one word of the song, which under its title of
‘The Cat in the Cupboard,’ Hodgen has since rendered so famous.
Late and very tired, he slipped into his private apartments at home and sought
the downy pillow, but his slumbers were disturbed by the fever of his soul, and
the very instant that he woke from his agitated sleep, the image of Miss Amory
presented itself to him, and said, “Here I am, I am your princess and
beauty, you have discovered me, and shall care for nothing else
hereafter.”</p>
<p>Heavens, how stale and distasteful his former pursuits and friendships appeared
to him! He had not been, up to the present time, much accustomed to the society
of females of his own rank in life. When he spoke of such, he called them
“modest women.” That virtue which, let us hope, they possessed, had
not hitherto compensated to Mr. Foker for the absence of more lively qualities
which most of his own relatives did not enjoy, and which he found in
Mesdemoiselles, the ladies of the theatre. His mother, though good and tender,
did not amuse her boy; his cousins, the daughters of his maternal uncle, the
respectable Earl of Rosherville, wearied him beyond measure. One was blue, and
a geologist; one was a horsewoman, and smoked cigars; one was exceedingly Low
Church, and had the most heterodox views on religious matters; at least, so the
other said, who was herself of the very Highest Church faction, and made the
cupboard in her room into an oratory, and fasted on every Friday in the year.
Their paternal house of Drummington, Foker could very seldom be got to visit.
He swore he had rather go on the treadmill than stay there. He was not much
beloved by the inhabitants. Lord Erith, Lord Rosherville’s heir,
considered his cousin a low person, of deplorably vulgar habits and manners;
while Foker, and with equal reason, voted Erith a prig and a dullard, the
nightcap of the House of Commons, the Speaker’s opprobrium, the dreariest
of philanthropic spouters. Nor could George Robert, Earl of Gravesend and
Rosherville, ever forget that on one evening when he condescended to play at
billiards with his nephew, that young gentleman poked his lordship in the side
with his cue, and said, “Well, old cock, I’ve seen many a bad
stroke in my life, but I never saw such a bad one as that there.” He
played the game out with angelic sweetness of temper, for Harry was his guest
as well as his nephew; but he was nearly having a fit in the night; and he kept
to his own rooms until young Harry quitted Drummington on his return to
Oxbridge, where the interesting youth was finishing his education at the time
when the occurrence took place. It was an awful blow to the venerable earl; the
circumstance was never alluded to in the family; he shunned Foker whenever he
came to see them in London or in the country, and could hardly be brought to
gasp out a “How d’ye do?” to the young blasphemer. But he
would not break his sister Agnes’s heart, by banishing Harry from the
family altogether; nor, indeed, could he afford to break with Mr. Foker,
senior, between whom and his lordship there had been many private transactions,
producing an exchange of bank-cheques from Mr. Foker, and autographs from the
earl himself, with the letters I O U written over his illustrious signature.</p>
<p>Besides the four daughters of Lord Gravesend whose various qualities have been
enumerated in the former paragraph, his lordship was blessed with a fifth girl,
the Lady Ana Milton, who, from her earliest years and nursery, had been
destined to a peculiar position in life. It was ordained between her parents
and her aunt, that when Mr Harry Foker attained a proper age, Lady Ann should
become his wife. The idea had been familiar to her mind when she yet wore
pinafores, and when Harry the dirtiest of little boys, used to come back with
black eyes from school to Drummington, or to his father’s house of
Logwood, where Lady Ann lived, much with her aunt. Both of the young people
coincided with the arrangement proposed by the elders, without any protests or
difficulty. It no more entered Lady Ann’s mind to question the order of
her father, than it would have entered Esther’s to dispute the commands
of Ahasuerus. The heir-apparent of the house of Foker was also obedient, for
when the old gentleman said, “Harry, your uncle and I have agreed that
when you’re of a proper age, you’ll marry Lady Ann. She won’t
have any money, but she’s good blood, and a good one to look at, and I
shall make you comfortable. If you refuse, you’ll have your
mother’s jointure, and two hundred a year during my
life”—Harry, who knew that his sire, though a man of few words, was
yet implicitly to be trusted, acquiesced at once in the parental decree, and
said, “Well, sir, if Ann’s agreeable, I say ditto. She’s not
a bad-looking girl.”</p>
<p>“And she has the best blood in England, sir. Your mother’s blood,
your own blood, sir,” said the Brewer. “There’s nothing like
it, sir.”</p>
<p>“Well, sir, as you like it,” Harry replied. “When you want
me, please ring the bell. Only there’s no hurry, and I hope you’ll
give us a long day. I should like to have my fling out before I marry.”</p>
<p>“Fling away, Harry,” answered the benevolent father. “Nobody
prevents you, do they?” And so very little more was said upon this
subject, and Mr. Harry pursued those amusements in life which suited him best;
and hung up a little picture of his cousin in his sitting-room, amidst the
French prints, the favourite actresses and dancers, the racing and coaching
works of art, which suited his taste and formed his gallery. It was an
insignificant little picture, representing a simple round face with ringlets;
and it made, as it must be confessed, a very poor figure by the side of
Mademoiselle Petitot, dancing over a rainbow, or Mademoiselle Redowa, grinning
in red boots and a lancer’s cap.</p>
<p>Being engaged and disposed of, Lady Ann Milton did not go out so much in the
world as her sisters: and often stayed at home in London at the parental house
in Gaunt Square, when her mamma with the other ladies went abroad. They talked
and they danced with one man after another, and the men came and went, and the
stories about them were various. But there was only this one story about Ann:
she was engaged to Harry Foker: she never was to think about anybody else. It
was not a very amusing story.</p>
<p>Well, the instant Foker awoke on the day after Lady Clavering’s dinner,
there was Blanche’s image glaring upon him with its clear grey eyes, and
winning smile. There was her tune ringing in his ears, “Yet round about
the spot, ofttimes I hover, ofttimes I hover,” which poor Foker began
piteously to hum, as he sat up in his bed under the crimson silken coverlet.
Opposite him was a French Print, of a Turkish lady and her Greek lover,
surprised by a venerable Ottoman, the lady’s husband; on the other wall
was a French print of a gentleman and lady, riding and kissing each other at
full gallop; all round the chaste bedroom were more French prints, either
portraits of gauzy nymphs of the Opera, or lovely illustrations of the novels;
or mayhap, an English chef-d’oeuvre or two, in which Miss Calverley of T.
R. E. O. would be represented in tight pantaloons in her favourite page part;
or Miss Rougemont as Venus; their value enhanced by the signatures of these
ladies, Maria Calverley, or Frederica Rougemont, inscribed underneath the
prints in an exquisite facsimile. Such were the pictures in which honest Harry
delighted. He was no worse than many of his neighbours; he was an idle jovial
kindly fast man about town; and if his rooms were rather profusely decorated
with works of French art, so that simple Lady Agnes, his mamma on entering the
apartments where her darling sate enveloped in fragrant clouds of Latakia, was
often bewildered by the novelties which she beheld there, why, it must be
remembered, that he was richer than most young men, and could better afford to
gratify his taste.</p>
<p>A letter from Miss Calverley written in a very degage style of spelling and
handwriting, scrawling freely over the filagree paper, and commencing by
calling Mr. Harry, her dear Hokey-pokey-fokey, lay on his bed table by his
side, amidst keys, sovereigns, cigar-cases, and a bit of verbena, which Miss
Amory had given him, and reminding him of the arrival of the day when he was
‘to stand that dinner at the Elefant and Castle, at Richmond, which he
had promised;’ a card for a private box at Miss Rougemont’s
approaching benefit, a bundle of tickets for ‘Ben Budgeon’s night,
the North Lancashire Pippin, at Martin Faunce’s, the Three-cornered Hat,
in St. Martin’s Lane; where Conkey Sam, Dick the Nailor, and Deadman (the
Worcestershire Nobber), would put on the gloves, and the lovers of the good old
British sport were invited to attend’—these and sundry other
memoirs of Mr. Foker’s pursuits and pleasure lay on the table by his side
when he woke.</p>
<p>Ah! how faint all these pleasures seemed now. What did he care for Conkey Sam
or the Worcestershire Nobber? What for the French prints ogling him from all
sides of the room; those regular stunning slap-up out-and-outers? And Calverley
spelling bad, and calling him Hokey-fokey, confound her impudence! The idea of
being engaged to a dinner at the Elephant and Castle at Richmond with that old
woman (who was seven-and-thirty years old, if she was a day) filled his mind
with dreary disgust now, instead of that pleasure which he had only yesterday
expected to find from the entertainment.</p>
<p>When his fond mamma beheld her boy that morning, she remarked on the pallor of
his cheek, and the general gloom of his aspect. “Why do you go on playing
billiards at that wicked Spratt’s?” Lady Agnes asked. “My
dearest child, those billiards will kill you, I’m sure they will.”</p>
<p>“It isn’t the billiards,” Harry said, gloomily.</p>
<p>“Then it’s the dreadful Back Kitchen,” said the Lady Agnes.
“I’ve often thought, d’you know, Harry, of writing to the
landlady, and begging that she would have the kindness to put only very little
wine in the negus which you take, and see that you have your shawl on before
you get into your brougham.”</p>
<p>“Do, ma’am. Mrs Cutts is a most kind motley woman,” Harry
said. “But it isn’t the Back Kitchen, neither,” he added,
with a ghastly sigh.</p>
<p>As Lady Agnes never denied her son anything, and fell into all his ways with
the fondest acquiescence, she was rewarded by a perfect confidence on young
Harry’s part, who never thought to disguise from her a knowledge of the
haunts which he frequented; and, on the contrary, brought her home choice
anecdotes from the clubs and billiard-rooms, which the simple lady relished, if
she did not understand. “My son goes to Spratt’s,” she would
say to her confidential friends. “All the young men go to Spratt’s
after their balls. It is de rigueur, my dear; and they play billiards as they
used to play macao and hazard in Mr. Fox’s time. Yes, my dear father
often told me that they sate up always until nine o’clock the next
morning with Mr. Fox at Brookes’s, whom I remember at Drummington, when I
was a little girl, in a buff waistcoat and black satin small-clothes. My
brother Erith never played as a young man, nor sate up late—he had no
health for it; but my boy must do as everybody does, you know. Yes, and then he
often goes to a place called the Back Kitchen, frequented by all the wits and
authors, you know, whom one does not see in society, but whom it is a great
privilege and pleasure for Harry to meet, and there he hears the questions of
the day discussed; and my dear father often said that it was our duty to
encourage literature, and he had hoped to see the late Dr. Johnson at
Drummington, only Dr. Johnson died. Yes, and Mr. Sheridan came over, and drank
a great deal of wine,—everybody drank a great deal of wine in those
days,—and papa’s wine-merchant’s bill was ten times as much
as Erith’s is, who gets it as he wants it from Fortnum and Mason’s
and doesn’t keep any stock at all.”</p>
<p>“That was an uncommon good dinner we had yesterday, ma’am,”
the artful Harry broke out. “Their clear soup’s better than ours.
Moufflet will put too much taragon into everything. The supreme de volaille was
very good—uncommon, and the sweets were better than Moufflet’s
sweets. Did you taste the plombiere, ma’am, and the maraschino jelly?
Stunningly good that maraschino jelly!”</p>
<p>Lady Agnes expressed her agreement in these, as in almost all other sentiments
of her son, who continued the artful conversation, saying—</p>
<p>“Very handsome house that of the Claverings. Furniture, I should say, got
up regardless of expense. Magnificent display of plate, ma’am.” The
lady assented to all these propositions.</p>
<p>“Very nice people the Claverings.”</p>
<p>“H’m!” said Lady Agnes.</p>
<p>“I know what you mean. Lady C. ain’t distangy exactly, but she is
very good-natured.”</p>
<p>“Oh, very,” mamma said, who was herself one of the most
good-natured of women.</p>
<p>“And Sir Francis, he don’t talk much before ladies; but after
dinner he comes out uncommon strong, ma’am—a highly agreeable,
well-informed man. When will you ask them to dinner? Look out for an early day,
ma’am;” and looking into Lady Agnes’s pocket-book, he chose a
day only a fortnight hence (an age that fortnight seemed to the young
gentleman), when the Claverings were to be invited to Grosvenor-street.</p>
<p>The obedient Lady Agnes wrote the required invitation. She was accustomed to do
so without consulting her husband, who had his own society and habits, and who
left his wife to see her own friends alone. Harry looked at the card; but there
was an omission in the invitation which did not please him.</p>
<p>“You have not asked Miss Whatdyecallem—Miss Emery, Lady
Clavering’s daughter.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that little creature!” Lady Agnes cried. “No! I think
not, Harry.”</p>
<p>“We must ask Miss Amory,” Foker said. “I—I want to ask
Pendennis; and—and he’s very sweet upon her. Don’t you think
she sings very well, ma’am?”</p>
<p>“I thought her rather forward, and didn’t listen to her singing.
She only sang at you and Mr. Pendennis, it seemed to me. But I will ask her if
you wish, Harry,” and so Miss Amory’s name was written on the card
with her mother’s.</p>
<p>This piece of diplomacy being triumphantly executed Harry embraced his fond
parent with the utmost affection, and retired to his own apartments where he
stretched himself on his ottoman, and lay brooding silently, sighing for the
day which was to bring the fair Miss Amory under his paternal roof, and
devising a hundred wild schemes for meeting her.</p>
<p>On his return from making the grand tour, Mr. Foker, Junior, had brought with
him a polyglot valet, who took the place of Stoopid, and condescended to wait
at dinner, attired in shirt fronts of worked muslin, with many gold studs and
chains, upon his master and the elders of the family. This man, who was of no
particular country, and spoke all languages indifferently ill, made himself
useful to Mr. Harry in a variety of ways,—read all the artless
youth’s correspondence, knew his favourite haunts and the addresses of
his acquaintance, and officiated at the private dinners which the young
gentleman gave. As Harry lay upon his sofa after his interview with his mamma,
robed in a wonderful dressing-gown, and puffing his pipe in gloomy silence,
Anatole, too, must have remarked that something affected his master’s
spirits; though he did not betray any ill-bred sympathy with Harry’s
agitation of mind. When Harry began to dress himself in his out-of-door morning
costume, he was very hard indeed to please, and particularly severe and
snappish about his toilet: he tried, and cursed, pantaloons of many different
stripes, checks, and colours: all the boots were villainously varnished; the
shirts too “loud” in pattern. He scented his linen and person with
peculiar richness this day; and what must have been the valet’s
astonishment, when, after some blushing and hesitation on Harry’s part,
the young gentleman asked, “I say, Anatole, when I engaged you,
didn’t you—hem—didn’t you say that you could
dress—hem—dress hair?”</p>
<p>The valet said, “Yes, he could.”</p>
<p>“Cherchy alors une paire de tongs,—et—curly moi un
peu,” Mr. Foker said, in an easy manner; and the valet, wondering whether
his master was in love or was going masquerading, went in search of the
articles,—first from the old butler who waited upon Mr. Foker, senior, on
whose bald pate the tongs would have scarcely found a hundred hairs to seize,
and finally of the lady who had the charge of the meek auburn fronts of the
Lady Agnes. And the tongs being got, Monsieur Anatole twisted his young
master’s locks until he had made Harry’s head as curly as a
negro’s; after which the youth dressed himself with the utmost care and
splendour, and proceeded to sally out.</p>
<p>“At what dime sall I order de drag, sir, to be to Miss Calverley’s
door, sir?” the attendant whispered as his master was going forth.</p>
<p>“Confound her!—Put the dinner off—I can’t go!”
said Foker. “No, hang it—I must go. Poyntz and Rougemont, and ever
so many more are coming. The drag at Pelham Corner at six o’clock,
Anatole.”</p>
<p>The drag was not one of Mr. Foker’s own equipages, but was hired from a
livery-stable for festive purposes; Foker, however, put his own carriage into
requisition that morning, and for what purpose does the kind reader suppose?
Why, to drive down to Lamb Court, Temple, taking Grosvenor Place by the way
(which lies in the exact direction of the Temple from Grosvenor Street, as
everybody knows), where he just had the pleasure of peeping upwards at Miss
Amory’s pink window-curtains, having achieved which satisfactory feat, he
drove off to Pen’s chambers. Why did he want to see his dear friend Pen
so much? Why did he yearn and long after him; and did it seem necessary to
Foker’s very existence that he should see Pen that morning, having parted
with him in perfect health on the night previous? Pen had lived two years in
London, and Foker had not paid half a dozen visits to his chambers. What sent
him thither now in such a hurry?</p>
<p>What?—If any young ladies read this page, I have only to inform them
that, when the same mishap befalls them, which now had for more than twelve
hours befallen Harry Foker, people will grow interesting to them for whom they
did not care sixpence on the day before; as on the other hand persons of whom
they fancied themselves fond will be found to have become insipid and
disagreeable. Then you dearest Eliza, or Maria of the other day, to whom you
wrote letters and sent locks of hair yards long, will on a sudden be as
indifferent to you as your stupidest relation whilst, on the contrary, about
his relations you will begin to feel such a warm interest! such a loving desire
to ingratiate yourself with his mamma; such a liking for that dear kind old man
his father! If He is in the habit of visiting at any house, what advances you
will make in order to visit there too. If He has a married sister you will like
to spend long mornings with her. You will fatigue your servant by sending notes
to her, for which there will be the most pressing occasion, twice or thrice in
a day. You will cry if your mamma objects to your going too often to see His
family. The only one of them you will dislike, is perhaps his younger brother,
who is at home for the holidays, and who will persist in staying in the room
when you come to see your dear new-found friend, his darling second sister.
Something like this will happen to you, young ladies, or, at any rate, let us
hope it may. Yes, you must go through the hot fits and the cold fits of that
pretty fever. Your mothers, if they would acknowledge it, have passed through
it before you were born, your dear papa being the object of the passion, of
course,—who could it be but he? And as you suffer it, so will your
brothers, in their way,—and after their kind. More selfish than you: more
eager and headstrong than you: they will rush on their destiny when the doomed
charmer makes her appearance. Or if they don’t, and you don’t,
Heaven help you! As the gambler said of his dice, to love and win is the best
thing, to love and lose is the next best. You don’t die of the complaint:
or very few do. The generous wounded heart suffers and survives it. And he is
not a man, or she a woman, who is not conquered by it, or who does not conquer
it in his time.——Now, then, if you ask why Henry Foker, Esquire,
was in such a hurry to see Arthur Pendennis, and felt such a sudden value and
esteem for him, there is no difficulty in saying it was because Pen had become
really valuable in Mr. Foker’s eyes: because if Pen was not the rose, he
yet had been near that fragrant flower of love. Was not he in the habit of
going to her house in London? Did he not live near her in the
country?—know all about the enchantress? What, I wonder, would Lady Ann
Milton, Mr. Foker’s cousin and pretendue, have said, if her ladyship had
known all that was going on in the bosom of that funny little gentleman?</p>
<p>Alas! when Foker reached Lamb Court, leaving his carriage for the admiration of
the little clerks who were lounging in the archway that leads thence into Flag
Court which leads into Upper Temple Lane, Warrington was in the chambers but
Pen was absent. Pen was gone to the printing-office to see his proofs.
“Would Foker have a pipe and should the laundress go to the Cock and get
him some beer?”—Warrington asked, remarking with a pleased surprise
the splendid toilet of this scented and shiny-booted young aristocrat; but
Foker had not the slightest wish for beer or tobacco: he had very important
business: he rushed away to the Pall Mall Gazette office, still bent upon
finding Pen. Pen had quitted that pace. Foker wanted him that they might go
together to call upon Lady Clavering. Foker went away disconsolate, and whiled
away an hour or two vaguely at clubs: and when it was time to pay a visit, he
thought it would be but decent and polite to drive to Grosvenor Place and leave
a card upon Lady Clavering. He had not the courage to ask to see her when the
door was opened, he only delivered two cards, with Mr. Henry Foker engraved
upon them, to Jeames, in a speechless agony. Jeames received the tickets bowing
his powdered head. The varnished doors closed upon him. The beloved object was
as far as ever from him, though so near. He thought he heard the tones of a
piano and of a syren singing, coming from the drawing-room and sweeping over
the balcony-shrubbery of geraniums. He would have liked to stop and listen, but
it might not be. “Drive to Tattersall’s,” he said to the
groom, in a voice smothered with emotion,—“And bring my pony
round,” he added, as the man drove rapidly away.</p>
<p>As good luck would have it, that splendid barouche of Lady Clavering’s,
which has been inadequately described in a former chapter, drove up to her
ladyship’s door just as Foker mounted the pony which was in waiting for
him. He bestrode the fiery animal, and dodged about the arch of the Green Park,
keeping the carriage well in view, until he saw Lady Clavering enter, and with
her—whose could be that angel form, but the enchantress’s, clad in
a sort of gossamer, with a pink bonnet and a light-blue parasol,—but Miss
Amory?</p>
<p>The carriage took its fair owners to Madame Rigodon’s cap and lace shop,
to Mrs Wolsey’s Berlin worsted shop,—who knows to what other
resorts of female commerce? Then it went and took ices at Hunter’s, for
Lady Clavering was somewhat florid in her tastes and amusements, and not only
liked to go abroad in the most showy carriage in London, but that the public
should see her in it too. And so, in a white bonnet with a yellow feather, she
ate a large pink ice in the sunshine before Hunter’s door, till Foker on
his pony, and the red jacket who accompanied him, were almost tired of dodging.</p>
<p>Then at last she made her way into the Park, and the rapid Foker made his dash
forward. What to do? Just to get a nod of recognition from Miss Amory and her
mother; to cross them a half-dozen times in the drive; to watch and ogle them
from the other side of the ditch, where the horsemen assemble when the band
plays in Kensington Gardens. What is the use of looking at a woman in a pink
bonnet across a ditch? What is the earthly good to be got out of a nod of the
head? Strange that men will be contented with such pleasures, or if not
contented, at least that they will be so eager in seeking them. Not one word
did Harry, he so fluent of conversation ordinarily, change with his charmer on
that day. Mutely he beheld her return to her carriage, and drive away among
rather ironical salutes from the young men in the Park. One said that the
Indian widow was making the paternal rupees spin rapidly; another said that she
ought to have burned herself alive, and left the money to her daughter. This
one asked who Clavering was?—and old Tom Eales, who knew everybody, and
never missed a day in the Park on his grey cob, kindly said that Clavering had
come into an estate over head and heels in mortgage: that there were
dev’lish ugly stories about him when he was a young man, and that it was
reported of him that he had a share in a gambling-house, and had certainly
shown the white feather in his regiment. “He plays still; he is in a hell
every night almost,” Mr. Eales added.</p>
<p>“I should think so, since his marriage,” said a wag.</p>
<p>“He gives devilish good dinners,” said Foker, striking up for the
honour of his host of yesterday.</p>
<p>“I daresay, and I daresay he doesn’t ask Eales,” the wag
said. “I say, Eales, do you dine at Clavering’s,—at the
Begum’s?”</p>
<p>“I dine there?” said Mr. Eales, who would have dined with Beelzebub
if sure of a good cook, and when he came away, would have painted his host
blacker than fate had made him.</p>
<p>“You might, you know, although you do abuse him so,” continued the
wag. “They say it’s very pleasant. Clavering goes to sleep after
dinner; the Begum gets tipsy with cherry-brandy, and the young lady sings songs
to the young gentlemen. She sings well, don’t she, Fo?”</p>
<p>“Slap up,” said Fo. “I tell you what, Poyntz, she sings like
a whatdyecallum—you know what I mean—like a mermaid, you know, but
that’s not their name.”</p>
<p>“I never heard a mermaid sing,” Mr. Poyntz, the wag, replied.
“Whoever heard a mermaid? Eales, you are an old fellow, did you?”</p>
<p>“Don’t make a lark of me, hang it, Poyntz,” said Foker,
turning red, and with tears almost in his eyes, “you know what I mean:
it’s those what’s-his-names—in Homer, you know. I never said
I was a good scholar.”</p>
<p>“And nobody ever said it of you, my boy,” Mr. Poyntz remarked, and
Foker striking spurs into his pony, cantered away down Rotten Row, his mind
agitated with various emotions, ambitions, mortifications. He was sorry that he
had not been good at his books in early life—that he might have cut out
all those chaps who were about her, and who talked the languages, and wrote
poetry, and painted pictures in her album, and—and that—“What
am I,” thought little Foker, “compared to her? She’s all
soul, she is, and can write poetry or compose music, as easy as I could drink a
glass of beer. Beer?—damme, that’s all I’m fit for, is beer.
I am a poor, ignorant little beggar, good for nothing but Foker’s Entire.
I misspent my youth, and used to get the chaps to do my exercises. And
what’s the consequences now? Oh, Harry Foker, what a confounded little
fool you have been!”</p>
<p>As he made this dreary soliloquy, he had cantered out of Rotten Row into the
Park, and there was on the point of riding down a large old roomy family
carriage, of which he took no heed, when a cheery voice cried out,
“Harry, Harry!” and looking up, he beheld his aunt, the Lady
Rosherville, and two of her daughters, of whom the one who spoke was
Harry’s betrothed, the Lady Ann.</p>
<p>He started back with a pale, scared look, as a truth about which he had not
thought during the whole day, came across him. There was his fate, there, in
the back seat of that carriage.</p>
<p>“What is the matter, Harry? why are you so pale? You have been raking and
smoking too much, you wicked boy,” said Lady Ann.</p>
<p>Foker said, “How do, aunt,” “How do, Ann,” in a
perturbed manner—muttered something about a pressing
engagement,—indeed he saw by the Park clock that he must have been
keeping his party in the drag waiting for nearly an hour—and waved a
good-bye. The little man and the little pony were out of sight in an
instant—the great carriage rolled away. Nobody inside was very much
interested about his coming or going; the Countess being occupied with her
spaniel, the Lady Lucy’s thoughts and eyes being turned upon a volume of
sermons, and those of the Lady Ann upon a new novel, which the sisters had just
procured from the library.</p>
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