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April's Lady: A Novel

<h2>CHAPTER V.</h2> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> "Look ere thou leap, see ere thou go."</div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> "Well, Barbara, can I go?" "I don't know"—doubtfully. There is a cloud on Mrs. Monkton's brow, she is staring out of the window instead of into her sister's face, and she is evidently a little distressed or uncertain. "You have been there so lately, and——" "You want to say something," says the younger sister, seating herself on the sofa, and drawing Mrs. Monkton down beside her. "Why don't you do it?" "You can't want to go so very much, can you now?" asks the latter, anxiously, almost entreatingly. "It is I who don't know this time!" says Joyce, with a smile. "And yet——" "It seems only like yesterday that you came back after spending a month there." "A yesterday that dates from six weeks ago," a little reproachfully. "I know. You like being there. It is a very amusing house to be at. I don't blame you in any way. Lord and Lady Baltimore are both charming in their ways, and very kind, and yet——" "There, don't stop; you are coming to it now, the very heart of the meaning. Go on," authoritatively, and seizing her sister in her arms, "or I'll shake it out of you." "It is this then," says Mrs. Monkton slowly. "I don't think it is a wise thing for you to go there so often." "Oh Barbara! Owl of Wisdom as thou art, why not?" The girl is laughing, yet a deep flush of color has crept into each cheek. "Never mind the why not. Perhaps it is unwise to go anywhere too often; and you must acknowledge that you spent almost the entire spring there." "Well, I hinted all that to Mr. Dysart." "Was he here?" "Yes. He came down from the Court with the note." "And—who else is to be there?" "Oh! the Clontarfs, and Dicky Browne, and Lady Swansdown and a great many others." "Mr. Beauclerk?" she does not look at Joyce as she asks this question. "Yes." A little silence follows, broken at last by Joyce. "May I go?" "Do you think it is the best thing for you to do?" says Mrs. Monkton, flushing delicately. "Think, darling! You know—you must know, because you have it always before you," flushing even deeper, "that to marry into a family where you are not welcomed with open heart is to know much private discomfiture." "I know this too," says the girl, petulantly, "that to be married to a man like Freddy, who consults your lightest wish, and is your lover always, is worth the enduring of anything." "I think that too," says Mrs. Monkton, who has now grown rather pale. "But there is still one more thing to know—that in making such a marriage as we have described, a woman lays out a thorny path for her husband. She separates him from his family, and as all good men have strong home ties, she naturally compels him to feel many a secret pang." "But he has his compensations. Do you think if Freddy got the chance, he would give you up and go back to his family?" "No—not that. But to rejoice in that thought is to be selfish. Why should he not have my love and the love of his people too? There is a want somewhere. What I wish to impress upon you, Joyce, is this, that a woman who marries a man against his parents' wishes has much to regret, much to endure." "I think you are ungrateful," says the girl a little vehemently. "Freddy has made you endure nothing. You are the happiest married woman I know." "Yes, but I have made him endure a great deal," says Mrs. Monkton in a low tone. She rises, and going to the window, stands there looking out upon the sunny landscape, but seeing nothing. "Barbara! you are crying," says Joyce, going up to her abruptly, and folding her arms round her. "It is nothing, dear. Nothing at all, darling. Only—I wish he and his father were friends again. Freddy is too good a man not to regret the estrangement." "I believe you think Freddy is a little god!" says Joyce laughing. "O! not a little one," says Mrs. Monkton, and as Freddy stands six foot one in his socks, they both laugh at this. "Still you don't answer me," says the girl presently. "You don't say 'you may' or 'you shan't'—which is it to be, Barbara?" Her tone is distinctly coaxing now, and as she speaks she gives her sister a little squeeze that is plainly meant to press the desired permission out of her. Still Mrs. Monkton hesitates. "You see," says she temporizing, "there are so many reasons. The Court," pausing and flushing, "is not quite the house for so young a girl as you." "Oh Barbara!" "You can't misunderstand me," says her sister with agitation. "You know how I like, love Lady Baltimore, and how good Lord Baltimore has been to Freddy. When his father cast him off there was very little left to us for beginning housekeeping with, and when Lord Baltimore gave him his agency—Oh, well! it isn't likely we shall either of us forget to be grateful for that. If it was only for ourselves I should say nothing, but it is for you, dear; and—this unfortunate affair—this determined hostility that exists between Lord and Lady Baltimore, makes it unpleasant for the guests. You know," nervously, "I hate gossip of any sort, but one must defend one's own." "But there is nothing unpleasant; one sees nothing. They are charming to each other. I have been staying there and I know." "Have I not stayed there too? It is impossible Joyce to fight against facts. All the world knows they are not on good terms." "Well, a great many other people aren't perhaps." "When they aren't the tone of the house gets lowered. And I have noticed of late that they have people there, who——" "Who what, Barbara?" "Oh yes, I know they are all right; they are received everywhere, but are they good companions for a girl of your years? It is not a healthy atmosphere for you. They are rich people who think less of a hundred guineas than you do of five. Is it wise, I ask you again to accustom yourself to their ways?" "Nonsense, Barbara!" says her sister, looking at her with a growing surprise. "That is not like you. Why should we despise the rich, why should we seek to emulate them? Surely both you and I have too good blood in our veins to give way to such follies." She leans towards Mrs. Monkton, and with a swift gesture, gentle as firm, turns her face to her own. "Now for the real reason," says she. Unthinkingly she has brought confusion on herself. Barbara, as though stung to cruel candor, gives her the real reason in a sentence. "Tell me this," says she, "which do you like best, Mr. Dysart, or Mr. Beauclerk?" Joyce, taking her arm from round her sister's neck, moves back from her. A deep color has flamed into her cheeks, then died away again. She looks quite calm now. "What a question," says she. "Well," feverishly, "answer it." "Oh, no," says the girl quickly. "Why not? Why not answer it to me, your chief friend? You think the question indelicate, but why should I shrink from asking a question on which, perhaps, the happiness of your life depends? If—if you have set your heart on Mr. Beauclerk——" She stops, checked by something in Miss Kavanagh's face. "Well, what then?" asks the latter coldly. "It will bring you unhappiness. He is Lady Baltimore's brother. She already plans for him. The Beauclerks are poor—he is bound to marry money." "That is a good deal about Mr. Beauclerk, but what about the other possible suitor whom you suppose I am madly in love with?" "Don't talk to me like that, Joyce. Do you think I have anything at heart except your interests? As to Mr. Dysart, if you like him, I confess I should be glad of it. He is only a cousin of the Baltimores, and of such moderate means that they would scarcely object to his marrying a penniless girl." "You rate me highly," says Joyce, with a sudden rather sharp little laugh. "I am good enough for the cousin—I am not good enough for the brother, who may reasonably look higher." "Not higher," haughtily. "He can only marry a girl of good birth. You are that, but he, in his position, will look for money, or else his people will look for it for him. Whereas, Mr. Dysart——" "Yes, you needn't go over it all. Mr. Dysart is about on a level with me, he will never have any money, neither shall I." Suddenly she looks round at her sister, her eyes very bright. "Tell me then," says she, "what does it all come to? That I am bound to refuse to marry a man because he has money, and because I have none." "That is not the argument," says Barbara anxiously. "I think it is." "It is not. I advise you strongly not to think of Mr. Beauclerk, yet he has no money to speak of." "He has more than Freddy." "But he is a different man from Freddy—with different tastes, different aspirations, different——He's different," emphatically, "in every way!" "To be different from the person one loves is not to be a bad man," says Joyce slowly, her eyes on the ground. "My dear girl, who has called Mr. Beauclerk a bad man?" "You don't like him," says Miss Kavanagh, still more slowly, still with thoughtful eyes downcast. "I like Mr. Dysart better if you mean that." "No, I don't mean that. And, besides, that is no answer." "Was there a question?" "Yes. Why don't you like Mr. Beauclerk?" "Have I said I didn't like him?" "Not in so many words, but——Well, why don't you?" "I don't know," rather lamely. Miss Kavanagh laughs a little satirically, and Mrs. Monkton, objecting to mirth of that description, takes fire. "Why do you like him?" asks she defiantly. "I don't know either," returns Joyce, with a rueful smile. "And after all I'm not sure that I like him so very much. You evidently imagine me to be head over ears in love with him, yet I, myself, scarcely know whether I like him or not." "You always look at him so kindly, and you always pull your skirts aside to give him a place by your side." "I should do that for Tommy." "Would you? That would be too kind," says Tommy's mother, laughing. "It would mean ruin to your skirts in two minutes." "But, consider the gain. The priceless scraps, of wisdom I should hear, even whilst my clothes were being demolished." This has been a mere interlude, unintentional on the part of either, and, once over, neither knows how to go on. The question must be settled one way or the other. "There is one thing," says Mrs. Monkton, at length, "You certainly prefer Mr. Beauclerk to Mr. Dysart." "Do I? I wish I knew as much about myself as you know about me. And, after all, it is of no consequence whom I like. The real thing is——Come, Barbara, you who know so much can tell me this——" "Well?" says Mrs. Monkton, seeing she has grown very red, and is evidently hesitating. "No. This absurd conversation has gone far enough. I was going to ask you to solve a riddle, but——" "But what?" "You are too serious about it." "Not too serious. It is very important." "Oh, Barbara, do you know what you are saying?" cries the girl with an angry little stamp, turning to her a face pale and indignant. "You have been telling me in so many words that I am in love with either Mr. Beauclerk or Mr. Dysart. Pray now, for a change, tell me which of them is in love with me." "Mr. Dysart," says Barbara quietly. Her sister laughs angrily. "You think everybody who looks at me is in love with me." "Not everyone!" "Meaning Mr. Beauclerk." "No," slowly. "I think he likes you, too, but he is a man who will always think. You know he has come in for that property in Hampshire through his uncle's death, but he got no money with it. It is a large place, impossible to keep up without a large income, and his uncle left every penny away from him. It is in great disrepair, the house especially. I hear it is falling to pieces. Mr. Beauclerk is an ambitious man, he will seek means to rebuild his house." "Well what of that? It is an interesting bit of history, but how does it concern me? Take that troubled look out of your eyes, Barbara. I assure you Mr. Beauclerk is as little to me as I am to him." She speaks with such evident sincerity, with such an undeniable belief in the truth of her own words, that Mrs. Monkton, looking at her and reading her soul through her clear eyes, feels a weight lifted from her heart. "That is all right then," says she simply. She turns as if to go away, but Miss Kavanagh has still a word or two to say. "I may go to the Court?" says she. "Yes; I suppose so." "But you won't be vexed if I go, Barbie?" "No; not now." "Well," slipping her arm through hers, with an audible sigh of delight. "That's settled." "Things generally do get settled the way you want them to be," says Mrs. Monkton, laughing. "Come, what about your frocks, eh?" From this out they spend a most enjoyable hour or two. <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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