<h2 class='c008'>SOUTHWEST WIND’S VISIT TO GLUCK</h2>
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<div><span class='sc'>Characters</span></div>
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<div class='line'><em>Gluck</em></div>
<div class='line'><em>Hans</em></div>
<div class='line'><em>Schwartz</em></div>
<div class='line'><em>Little Old Gentleman</em></div>
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<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
What a pity my brothers never ask anybody to dinner. I’m sure when they’ve got such a
nice piece of mutton as this it would do their hearts good to have somebody to eat it
with them. [<em>Knock sounds at the door.</em>] It must be the wind. Nobody else would
dare to knock double knocks at our door. [<em>Gluck goes to the window.</em>]</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Hello! That’s not the way to answer the door. I am wet. Let me in.</p>
<span class="pagenum" id='Page_135'>135</span>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
I beg your pardon, sir. I am very sorry, but I really can’t.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Can’t what?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
I can’t let you in. I can’t, indeed. My brother will beat me, sir, if I thought of such a
thing. What do you want, sir?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Want? I want fire and shelter. There’s your great fire there blazing, cracking, and
dancing on the walls with nobody to feel it. I only want to warm myself.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
He does look very wet. I’ll just let him in for a little while.</p>
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<div>[<em>Opens the door.</em>]</div>
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<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
That’s a good boy. <span class="pagenum" id='Page_136'>136</span>Never mind your brothers. I’ll talk to them.</p>
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<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
Pray, sir, don’t do any such <span class="pagenum" id='Page_137'>137</span>thing. I can’t let you stay till they come.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Dear me. I’m very sorry to hear that. How long may I stay?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
Only till the mutton’s done, sir, and it’s very brown. [<em>Little Old Gentleman seats
himself before the fire.</em>] You’ll soon dry there, sir. Mayn’t I take your cloak?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
No, thank you.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
Your cap, sir?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
I am all right, thank you.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
But, sir! I’m very sorry, but really, sir, you’re putting the fire out.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
It’ll take longer to <span class="pagenum" id='Page_138'>138</span>do the mutton then. That mutton looks very nice. Can’t you
give me a little bit?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
Impossible, sir.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
I’m very hungry. I’ve had nothing to eat yesterday nor to-day. They surely couldn’t miss
a bit from the knuckle.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
They promised me one slice to-day, sir. I can give you that.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
That’s a good boy.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
[<em>To himself.</em>] I don’t care if I do get beaten for it. [<em>Loud rap at the door.
Schwartz and Hans enter.</em>]</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
What did you keep us waiting in the rain for?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Hans.</em></span>
Ay, what for, indeed!</p>
<span class="pagenum" id='Page_139'>139</span>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
Bless my soul, who’s that?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
I don’t know, indeed, brother.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
How did he get in?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
My dear brother, he was so very wet.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
Who are you, sir?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Hans.</em></span>
What’s your business?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
I am a poor old man, sir, and I saw your fire through the window and begged shelter for a
little while.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
Have the goodness to walk out again, then.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
It’s a cold day to turn an old man out, sir. Look at my gray hairs.</p>
<span class="pagenum" id='Page_140'>140</span>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Hans.</em></span>
Ay, there are enough of them to keep you warm. Walk!</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little old Gentleman.</em></span>
I’m very, very hungry, sir. Couldn’t you spare me a bit of bread before I go?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
Bread, indeed! Do you suppose we’ve nothing to do with our bread but to give it to such
fellows as you?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Hans.</em></span>
Out with you.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
A little bit?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
Be off!</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Pray, gentlemen.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Hans.</em></span>
Off!</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Gentlemen, I wish you a very good morning. At twelve o’clock to-night I’ll call again.
But <span class="pagenum" id='Page_141'>141</span>you will not be surprised if that visit is the last I ever make you.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
If I ever catch you here again—[<em>To Gluck.</em>] A very pretty business, indeed, Mr.
Gluck. Dish the mutton, sir. If ever I catch you at such a trick again—bless me, why the
mutton’s been cut.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Gluck.</em></span>
You promised me one slice, brother, you know.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
Oh, you were cutting it hot, I suppose, and going to catch all the gravy. It will be long
before I promise you such a thing again. Leave the room, sir, and have the kindness to
wait in the coal cellar till I call you.</p>
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<div><span class="pagenum" id='Page_142'>142</span><em>Midnight</em></div>
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<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Schwartz.</em></span>
[<em>Starting up.</em>] What’s that?</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Only I, Southwest Wind.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Hans.</em></span>
The room is full of water, and the roof is off.</p>
<p><span class='dl_1'><em>Little Old Gentleman.</em></span>
Sorry, gentlemen. I am afraid your beds are dampish. Perhaps you had better go to your
brother’s room. I’ve left the ceiling on there. You’ll find my card on the kitchen table.
Remember, this is the last visit from Southwest Wind.</p>
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<span class="pagenum" id='Page_143'>143</span>
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