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Lysistrata (version 2)

<h1>Scene 3 - within the precincts of the citadel</h1> CHORUS OF WOMEN (addressing Lysistrata). You, Lysistrata, you who are leader of our glorious enterprise, why do I see you coming towards me with so gloomy an air? LYSISTRATA. 'Tis the behaviour of these naughty women, 'tis the female heart and female weakness so discourages me. CHORUS OF WOMEN. Tell us, tell us, what is it? LYSISTRATA. I only tell the simple truth. CHORUS OF WOMEN. What has happened so disconcerting; come, tell your friends. LYSISTRATA. Oh! the thing is so hard to tell—yet so impossible to conceal. CHORUS OF WOMEN. Nay, never seek to hide any ill that has befallen our cause. LYSISTRATA. To blurt it out in a word—we are in heat! CHORUS OF WOMEN. Oh! Zeus, oh! Zeus! LYSISTRATA. What use calling upon Zeus? The thing is even as I say. I cannot stop them any longer from lusting after the men. They are all for deserting. The first I caught was slipping out by the postern gate near the cave of Pan; another was letting herself down by a rope and pulley; a third was busy preparing her escape; while a fourth, perched on a bird's back, was just taking wing for Orsilochus' house,[444] when I seized her by the hair. One and all, they are inventing excuses to be off home. Look! there goes one, trying to get out! Halloa there! whither away so fast? FIRST WOMAN. I want to go home; I have some Miletus wool in the house, which is getting all eaten up by the worms. LYSISTRATA. Bah! you and your worms! go back, I say! FIRST WOMAN. I will return immediately, I swear I will by the two goddesses! I only have just to spread it out on the bed. LYSISTRATA. You shall not do anything of the kind! I say, you shall not go. FIRST WOMAN. Must I leave my wool to spoil then? LYSISTRATA. Yes, if need be. SECOND WOMAN. Unhappy woman that I am! Alas for my flax! I've left it at home unstript! LYSISTRATA. So, here's another trying to escape to go home and strip her flax forsooth! SECOND WOMAN. Oh! I swear by the goddess of light, the instant I have put it in condition I will come straight back. LYSISTRATA. You shall do nothing of the kind! If once you began, others would want to follow suit. THIRD WOMAN. Oh! goddess divine, Ilithyia, patroness of women in labour, stay, stay the birth, till I have reached a spot less hallowed than Athene's Mount! LYSISTRATA. What mean you by these silly tales? THIRD WOMAN. I am going to have a child—now, this minute. LYSISTRATA. But you were not pregnant yesterday! THIRD WOMAN. Well, I am to-day. Oh! let me go in search of the midwife, Lysistrata, quick, quick! LYSISTRATA. What is this fable you are telling me? Ah! what have you got there so hard? THIRD WOMAN. A male child. LYSISTRATA. No, no, by Aphrodité! nothing of the sort! Why, it feels like something hollow—a pot or a kettle. Oh! you baggage, if you have not got the sacred helmet of Pallas—and you said you were with child! THIRD WOMAN. And so I am, by Zeus, I am! LYSISTRATA. Then why this helmet, pray? THIRD WOMAN. For fear my pains should seize me in the Acropolis; I mean to lay my eggs in this helmet, as the doves do. LYSISTRATA. Excuses and pretences every word! the thing's as clear as daylight. Anyway, you must stay here now till the fifth day, your day of purification. THIRD WOMAN. I cannot sleep any more in the Acropolis, now I have seen the snake that guards the Temple. FOURTH WOMAN. Ah! and those confounded owls with their dismal hooting! I cannot get a wink of rest, and I'm just dying of fatigue. LYSISTRATA. You wicked women, have done with your falsehoods! You want your husbands, that's plain enough. But don't you think they want you just as badly? They are spending dreadful nights, oh! I know that well enough. But hold out, my dears, hold out! A little more patience, and the victory will be ours. An Oracle promises us success, if only we remain united. Shall I repeat the words? FIRST WOMAN. Yes, tell us what the Oracle declares. LYSISTRATA. Silence then! Now—"Whenas the swallows, fleeing before the hoopoes, shall have all flocked together in one place, and shall refrain them from all amorous commerce, then will be the end of all the ills of life; yea, and Zeus, which doth thunder in the skies, shall set above what was erst below…." CHORUS OF WOMEN. What! shall the men be underneath? LYSISTRATA. "But if dissension do arise among the swallows, and they take wing from the holy Temple, 'twill be said there is never a more wanton bird in all the world." CHORUS OF WOMEN. Ye gods! the prophecy is clear. Nay, never let us be cast down by calamity! let us be brave to bear, and go back to our posts. 'Twere shameful indeed not to trust the promises of the Oracle. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. I want to tell you a fable they used to relate to me when I was a little boy. This is it: Once upon a time there was a young man called Melanion, who hated the thought of marriage so sorely that he fled away to the wilds. So he dwelt in the mountains, wove himself nets, kept a dog and caught hares. He never, never came back, he had such a horror of women. As chaste as Melanion,[445] we loathe the jades just as much as he did. AN OLD MAN. You dear old woman, I would fain kiss you. A WOMAN. I will set you crying without onions. OLD MAN. … And give you a sound kicking. OLD WOMAN. Ah, ha! what a dense forest you have there! (Pointing.) OLD MAN. So was Myronides one of the best-bearded of men o' this side; his backside was all black, and he terrified his enemies as much as Phormio.[446] CHORUS OF WOMEN. I want to tell you a fable too, to match yours about Melanion. Once there was a certain man called Timon,[447] a tough customer, and a whimsical, a true son of the Furies, with a face that seemed to glare out of a thorn-bush. He withdrew from the world because he couldn't abide bad men, after vomiting a thousand curses at 'em. He had a holy horror of ill-conditioned fellows, but he was mighty tender towards women. A WOMAN. Suppose I up and broke your jaw for you! AN OLD MAN. I am not a bit afraid of you. A WOMAN. Suppose I let fly a good kick at you? OLD MAN. I should see your backside then. WOMAN. You would see that, for all my age, it is very well attended to, and all fresh singed smooth. LYSISTRATA. Ho there! come quick, come quick! FIRST WOMAN. What is it? Why these cries? LYSISTRATA. A man! a man! I see him approaching all afire with the flames of love. Oh! divine Queen of Cyprus, Paphos and Cythera, I pray you still be propitious to our emprise. FIRST WOMAN. Where is he, this unknown foe? LYSISTRATA. Yonder—beside the Temple of Demeter. FIRST WOMAN. Yes, indeed, I see him; but who is it? LYSISTRATA. Look, look! does any of you recognize him? FIRST WOMAN. I do, I do! 'tis my husband Cinesias. LYSISTRATA. To work then! Be it your task to inflame and torture and torment him. Seductions, caresses, provocations, refusals, try every means! Grant every favour,—always excepting what is forbidden by our oath on the wine-bowl. MYRRHINÉ. Have no fear, I undertake the work. LYSISTRATA. Well, I will stay here to help you cajole the man and set his passions aflame. The rest of you, withdraw. CINESIAS. Alas! alas! how I am tortured by spasm and rigid convulsion! Oh! I am racked on the wheel! LYSISTRATA. Who is this that dares to pass our lines? CINESIAS. It is I. LYSISTRATA. What, a man? CINESIAS. Yes, no doubt about it, a man! LYSISTRATA. Begone! CINESIAS. But who are you that thus repulses me? LYSISTRATA. The sentinel of the day. CINESIAS. By all the gods, call Myrrhiné hither. LYSISTRATA. Call Myrrhiné hither, quotha? And pray, who are you? CINESIAS. I am her husband, Cinesias, son of Peon. LYSISTRATA. Ah! good day, my dear friend. Your name is not unknown amongst us. Your wife has it for ever on her lips; and she never touches an egg or an apple without saying: "'Twill be for Cinesias." CINESIAS. Really and truly? LYSISTRATA. Yes, indeed, by Aphrodité! And if we fall to talking of men, quick your wife declares: "Oh! all the rest, they're good for nothing compared with Cinesias." CINESIAS. Oh! I beseech you, go and call her to me. LYSISTRATA. And what will you give me for my trouble? <h5 id="id02489">CINESIAS.</h5> This, if you like (handling his tool). I will give you what I have there! LYSISTRATA. Well, well, I will tell her to come. CINESIAS. Quick, oh! be quick! Life has no more charms for me since she left my house. I am sad, sad, when I go indoors; it all seems so empty; my victuals have lost their savour. Desire is eating out my heart! MYRRHINÉ. I love him, oh! I love him; but he won't let himself be loved. No! I shall not come. CINESIAS. Myrrhiné, my little darling Myrrhiné, what are you saying? Come down to me quick. MYRRHINÉ. No indeed, not I. CINESIAS. I call you, Myrrhiné, Myrrhiné; will you not come? MYRRHINÉ. Why should you call me? You do not want me. CINESIAS. Not want you! Why, my weapon stands stiff with desire! MYRRHINÉ. Good-bye. CINESIAS. Oh! Myrrhiné, Myrrhiné, in our child's name, hear me; at any rate hear the child! Little lad, call your mother. CHILD. Mammy, mammy, mammy! CINESIAS. There, listen! Don't you pity the poor child? It's six days now you've never washed and never fed the child. MYRRHINÉ. Poor darling, your father takes mighty little care of you! CINESIAS. Come down, dearest, come down for the child's sake. MYRRHINÉ. Ah! what a thing it is to be a mother! Well, well, we must come down, I suppose. CINESIAS. Why, how much younger and prettier she looks! And how she looks at me so lovingly! Her cruelty and scorn only redouble my passion. MYRRHINÉ. You are as sweet as your father is provoking! Let me kiss you, my treasure, mother's darling! CINESIAS. Ah! what a bad thing it is to let yourself be led away by other women! Why give me such pain and suffering, and yourself into the bargain? MYRRHINÉ. Hands off, sir! CINESIAS. Everything is going to rack and ruin in the house. MYRRHINÉ. I don't care. CINESIAS. But your web that's all being pecked to pieces by the cocks and hens, don't you care for that? MYRRHINÉ. Precious little. CINESIAS. And Aphrodite, whose mysteries you have not celebrated for so long? Oh! won't you come back home? MYRRHINÉ. No, at least, not till a sound Treaty put an end to the War. CINESIAS. Well, if you wish it so much, why, we'll make it, your Treaty. MYRRHINÉ. Well and good! When that's done, I will come home. Till then, I am bound by an oath. CINESIAS. At any rate, let's have a short time together. MYRRHINÉ. No, no, no! … all the same I cannot say I don't love you. CINESIAS. You love me? Then why refuse what I ask, my little girl, my sweet Myrrhiné. MYRRHINÉ. You must be joking! What, before the child! CINESIAS. Manes, carry the lad home. There, you see, the child is gone; there's nothing to hinder us; let us to work! MYRRHINÉ. But, miserable man, where, where are we to do it? CINESIAS. In the cave of Pan; nothing could be better. MYRRHINÉ. But how to purify myself, before going back into the citadel? CINESIAS. Nothing easier! you can wash at the Clepsydra.[448] MYRRHINÉ. But my oath? Do you want me to perjure myself? CINESIAS. I take all responsibility; never make yourself anxious. MYRRHINÉ. Well, I'll be off, then, and find a bed for us. CINESIAS. Oh! 'tis not worth while; we can lie on the ground surely. MYRRHINÉ. No, no! bad man as you are, I don't like your lying on the bare earth. CINESIAS. Ah! how the dear girl loves me! MYRRHINÉ (coming back with a bed). Come, get to bed quick; I am going to undress. But, plague take it, we must get a mattress. CINESIAS. A mattress! Oh! no, never mind! MYRRHINÉ. No, by Artemis! lie on the bare sacking, never! That were too squalid. CINESIAS. A kiss! MYRRHINÉ. Wait a minute! CINESIAS. Oh! by the great gods, be quick back! MYRRHINÉ (coming back with a mattress). Here is a mattress. Lie down, I am just going to undress. But, but you've got no pillow. CINESIAS. I don't want one, no, no. MYRRHINÉ. But I do. CINESIAS. Oh! dear, oh, dear! they treat my poor penis for all the world like Heracles.[449] MYRRHINÉ (coming back with a pillow). There, lift your head, dear! CINESIAS. That's really everything. MYRRHINÉ. Is it everything, I wonder. CINESIAS. Come, my treasure. MYRRHINÉ. I am just unfastening my girdle. But remember what you promised me about making Peace; mind you keep your word. CINESIAS. Yes, yes, upon my life I will. MYRRHINÉ. Why, you have no blanket. CINESIAS. Great Zeus! what matter of that? 'tis you I want to fuck. MYRRHINÉ Never fear—directly, directly! I'll be back in no time. CINESIAS. The woman will kill me with her blankets! MYRRHINÉ (coming back with a blanket). Now, get up for one moment. CINESIAS. But I tell you, our friend here is up—all stiff and ready! MYRRHINÉ. Would you like me to scent you? CINESIAS. No, by Apollo, no, please! MYRRHINÉ. Yes, by Aphrodité, but I will, whether you wish it or no. CINESIAS. Ah! great Zeus, may she soon be done! MYRRHINÉ (coming back with a flask of perfume). Hold out your hand; now rub it in. CINESIAS. Oh! in Apollo's name, I don't much like the smell of it; but perhaps 'twill improve when it's well rubbed in. It does not somehow smack of the marriage bed! MYRRHINÉ. There, what a scatterbrain I am; if I have not brought Rhodian perfumes![450] CINESIAS. Never mind, dearest, let be now. MYRRHINÉ. You are joking! CINESIAS. Deuce take the man who first invented perfumes, say I! MYRRHINÉ (coming back with another flask). Here, take this bottle. CINESIAS. I have a better all ready for your service, darling. Come, you provoking creature, to bed with you, and don't bring another thing. MYRRHINÉ. Coming, coming; I'm just slipping off my shoes. Dear boy, will you vote for peace? CINESIAS. I'll think about it. (Myrrhiné runs away.) I'm a dead man, she is killing me! She has gone, and left me in torment! I must have someone to fuck, I must! Ah me! the loveliest of women has choused and cheated me. Poor little lad (addressing his penis), how am I to give you what you want so badly? Where is Cynalopex? quick, man, get him a nurse, do![451] CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Poor, miserable wretch, baulked in your amorousness! what tortures are yours! Ah! you fill me with pity. Could any man's back and loins stand such a strain? His organ stands stiff and rigid, and there's never a wench to help him! CINESIAS. Ye gods in heaven, what pains I suffer! CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Well, there it is; 'tis her doing, that abandoned hussy! CINESIAS. Nay, nay! rather say that sweetest, dearest darling. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. That dearest darling? no, no, that hussy, say I! Zeus, thou god of the skies, canst not let loose a hurricane, to sweep them all up into the air, and whirl 'em round, then drop 'em down crash! and impale them on the point of his weapon! A HERALD. Say, where shall I find the Senate and the Prytanes? I am bearer of despatches. MAGISTRATE. But are you a man or a Priapus, pray?[452] HERALD. Oh! but he's mighty simple. I am a herald, of course, I swear I am, and I come from Sparta about making peace. MAGISTRATE. But look, you are hiding a lance under your clothes, surely. HERALD. No, nothing of the sort. MAGISTRATE. Then why do you turn away like that, and hold your cloak out from your body? Have you gotten swellings in the groin with your journey? HERALD. By the twin brethren! the man's an old maniac. MAGISTRATE. Ah, ha! my fine lad, why I can see it standing, oh fie! HERALD. I tell you no! but enough of this foolery. MAGISTRATE. Well, what is it you have there then? HERALD. A Lacedaemonian 'skytalé.'[453] MAGISTRATE. Oh, indeed, a 'skytalé,' is it? Well, well, speak out frankly; I know all about these matters. How are things going at Sparta now? HERALD. Why, everything is turned upside down at Sparta; and all the allies are half dead with lusting. We simply must have Pellené.[454] MAGISTRATE. What is the reason of it all? Is it the god Pan's doing? HERALD. No, but Lampito's and the Spartan women's, acting at her instigation; they have denied the men all access to their cunts. MAGISTRATE. But whatever do you do? HERALD. We are at our wits' end; we walk bent double, just as if we were carrying lanterns in a wind. The jades have sworn we shall not so much as touch their cunts till we have all agreed to conclude peace. MAGISTRATE. Ha, ha! So I see now, 'tis a general conspiracy embracing all Greece. Go you back to Sparta and bid them send Envoys with plenary powers to treat for peace. I will urge our Senators myself to name Plenipotentiaries from us; and to persuade them, why, I will show them this. (Pointing to his erect penis.) HERALD. What could be better? I fly at your command. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. No wild beast is there, no flame of fire, more fierce and untameable than woman; the panther is less savage and shameless. CHORUS OF WOMEN. And yet you dare to make war upon me, wretch, when you might have me for your most faithful friend and ally. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Never, never can my hatred cease towards women. CHORUS OF WOMEN. Well, please yourself. Still I cannot bear to leave you all naked as you are; folks would laugh at me. Come, I am going to put this tunic on you. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. You are right, upon my word! it was only in my confounded fit of rage I took it off. CHORUS OF WOMEN. Now at any rate you look like a man, and they won't make fun of you. Ah! if you had not offended me so badly, I would take out that nasty insect you have in your eye for you. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Ah! so that's what was annoying me so! Look, here's a ring, just remove the insect, and show it me. By Zeus! it has been hurting my eye this ever so long. CHORUS OF WOMEN. Well, I agree, though your manners are not over and above pleasant. Oh! what a huge great gnat! just look! It's from Tricorysus, for sure.[455] CHORUS OF OLD MEN. A thousand thanks! the creature was digging a regular well in my eye; now it's gone, my tears flow freely. CHORUS OF WOMEN. I will wipe them for you—bad, naughty man though you are. Now, just one kiss. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. No—a kiss, certainly not! CHORUS OF WOMEN. Just one, whether you like it or not. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Oh! those confounded women! how they do cajole us! How true the saying: "'Tis impossible to live with the baggages, impossible to live without 'em"! Come, let us agree for the future not to regard each other any more as enemies; and to clinch the bargain, let us sing a choric song. CHORUS OF WOMEN. We desire, Athenians, to speak ill of no man; but on the contrary to say much good of everyone, and to do the like. We have had enough of misfortunes and calamities. Is there any, man or woman, wants a bit of money—two or three minas or so;[456] well, our purse is full. If only peace is concluded, the borrower will not have to pay back. Also I'm inviting to supper a few Carystian friends,[457] who are excellently well qualified. I have still a drop of good soup left, and a young porker I'm going to kill, and the flesh will be sweet and tender. I shall expect you at my house to-day; but first away to the baths with you, you and your children; then come all of you, ask no one's leave, but walk straight up, as if you were at home; never fear, the door will be … shut in your faces![458] CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Ah! here come the Envoys from Sparta with their long flowing beards; why, you would think they wore a cage[459] between their thighs. (Enter the Lacedaemonian Envoys.) Hail to you, first of all, Laconians; then tell us how you fare. A LACONIAN. No need for many words; you see what a state we are in. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Alas! the situation grows more and more strained! the intensity of the thing is just frightful. LACONIAN. 'Tis beyond belief. But to work! summon your Commissioners, and let us patch up the best peace we may. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Ah! our men too, like wrestlers in the arena, cannot endure a rag over their bellies; 'tis an athlete's malady, which only exercise can remedy. AN ATHENIAN. Can anybody tell us where Lysistrata is? Surely she will have some compassion on our condition. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Look! 'tis the very same complaint. (Addressing the Athenian.) Don't you feel of mornings a strong nervous tension? ATHENIAN. Yes, and a dreadful, dreadful torture it is! Unless peace is made very soon, we shall find no resource but to fuck Clisthenes.[460] CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Take my advice, and put on your clothes again; one of the fellows who mutilated the Hermae[461] might see you. ATHENIAN. You are right. LACONIAN. Quite right. There, I will slip on my tunic. ATHENIAN. Oh! what a terrible state we are in! Greeting to you, Laconian fellow-sufferers. LACONIAN (addressing one of his countrymen). Ah! my boy, what a thing it would have been if these fellows had seen us just now when our tools were on full stand! ATHENIAN. Speak out, Laconians, what is it brings you here? LACONIAN. We have come to treat for peace. ATHENIAN. Well said; we are of the same mind. Better call Lysistrata then; she is the only person will bring us to terms. LACONIAN. Yes, yes—and Lysistratus into the bargain, if you will. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Needless to call her; she has heard your voices, and here she comes. ATHENIAN. Hail, boldest and bravest of womankind! The time is come to show yourself in turn uncompromising and conciliatory, exacting and yielding, haughty and condescending. Call up all your skill and artfulness. Lo! the foremost men in Hellas, seduced by your fascinations, are agreed to entrust you with the task of ending their quarrels. LYSISTRATA. 'Twill be an easy task—if only they refrain from mutual indulgence in masculine love; if they do, I shall know the fact at once. Now, where is the gentle goddess Peace? Lead hither the Laconian Envoys. But, look you, no roughness or violence; our husbands always behaved so boorishly.[462] Bring them to me with smiles, as women should. If any refuse to give you his hand, then catch him by the penis and draw him politely forward. Bring up the Athenians too; you may take them just how you will. Laconians, approach; and you, Athenians, on my other side. Now hearken all! I am but a woman; but I have good common sense; Nature has dowered me with discriminating judgment, which I have yet further developed, thanks to the wise teachings of my father and the elders of the city. First I must bring a reproach against you that applies equally to both sides. At Olympia, and Thermopylae, and Delphi, and a score of other places too numerous to mention, you celebrate before the same altars ceremonies common to all Hellenes; yet you go cutting each other's throats, and sacking Hellenic cities, when all the while the Barbarian is yonder threatening you! That is my first point. ATHENIAN. Ah, ah! concupiscence is killing me! LYSISTRATA. Now 'tis to you I address myself, Laconians. Have you forgotten how Periclides,[463] your own countryman, sat a suppliant before our altars? How pale he was in his purple robes! He had come to crave an army of us; 'twas the time when Messenia was pressing you sore, and the Sea-god was shaking the earth. Cimon marched to your aid at the head of four thousand hoplites, and saved Lacedaemon. And, after such a service as that, you ravage the soil of your benefactors! ATHENIAN. They do wrong, very wrong, Lysistrata. LACONIAN. We do wrong, very wrong. Ah! great gods! what lovely thighs she has! LYSISTRATA. And now a word to the Athenians. Have you no memory left of how, in the days when ye wore the tunic of slaves, the Laconians came, spear in hand, and slew a host of Thessalians and partisans of Hippias the Tyrant? They, and they only, fought on your side on that eventful day; they delivered you from despotism, and thanks to them our Nation could change the short tunic of the slave for the long cloak of the free man. LACONIAN. I have never seen a woman of more gracious dignity. ATHENIAN. I have never seen a woman with a finer cunt! LYSISTRATA. Bound by such ties of mutual kindness, how can you bear to be at war? Stop, stay the hateful strife, be reconciled; what hinders you? LACONIAN. We are quite ready, if they will give us back our rampart. LYSISTRATA. What rampart, my dear man? LACONIAN. Pylos, which we have been asking for and craving for ever so long. ATHENIAN. In the Sea-god's name, you shall never have it! LYSISTRATA. Agree, my friends, agree. ATHENIAN. But then what city shall we be able to stir up trouble in? LYSISTRATA. Ask for another place in exchange. ATHENIAN. Ah! that's the ticket! Well, to begin with, give us Echinus, the Maliac gulf adjoining, and the two legs of Megara.[464] LACONIAN. Oh! surely, surely not all that, my dear sir. LYSISTRATA. Come to terms; never make a difficulty of two legs more or less! ATHENIAN. Well, I'm ready now to off coat and cultivate my land. LACONIAN. And I too, to dung it to start with. LYSISTRATA. That's just what you shall do, once peace is signed. So, if you really want to make it, go consult your allies about the matter. ATHENIAN. What allies, I should like to know? Why, we are all on the stand; not one but is mad to be fucking. What we all want, is to be abed with our wives; how should our allies fail to second our project? LACONIAN. And ours the same, for certain sure! ATHENIANS. The Carystians first and foremost, by the gods! LYSISTRATA. Well said, indeed! Now be off to purify yourselves for entering the Acropolis, where the women invite you to supper; we will empty our provision baskets to do you honour. At table, you will exchange oaths and pledges; then each man will go home with his wife. ATHENIAN. Come along then, and as quick as may be. LACONIAN. Lead on; I'm your man. ATHENIAN. Quick, quick's the word, say I. CHORUS OF WOMEN. Embroidered stuffs, and dainty tunics, and flowing gowns, and golden ornaments, everything I have, I offer them you with all my heart; take them all for your children, for your girls, against they are chosen "basket-bearers" to the goddess. I invite you every one to enter, come in and choose whatever you will; there is nothing so well fastened, you cannot break the seals, and carry away the contents. Look about you everywhere … you won't find a blessed thing, unless you have sharper eyes than mine.[465] And if any of you lacks corn to feed his slaves and his young and numerous family, why, I have a few grains of wheat at home; let him take what I have to give, a big twelve-pound loaf included. So let my poorer neighbours all come with bags and wallets; my man, Manes, shall give them corn; but I warn them not to come near my door, or—beware the dog![465] A MARKET-LOUNGER. I say, you, open the door! A SLAVE. Go your way, I tell you. Why, bless me, they're sitting down now; I shall have to singe 'em with my torch to make 'em stir! What an impudent lot of fellows! MARKET-LOUNGER. I don't mean to budge. SLAVE. Well, as you must stop, and I don't want to offend you—but you'll see some queer sights. MARKET-LOUNGER. Well and good, I've no objection. SLAVE. No, no, you must be off—or I'll tear your hair out, I will; be off, I say, and don't annoy the Laconian Envoys; they're just coming out from the banquet-hall. AN ATHENIAN. Such a merry banquet I've never seen before! The Laconians were simply charming. After the drink is in, why, we're all wise men, all. It's only natural, to be sure, for sober, we're all fools. Take my advice, my fellow-countrymen, our Envoys should always be drunk. We go to Sparta; we enter the city sober; why, we must be picking a quarrel directly. We don't understand what they say to us, we imagine a lot they don't say at all, and we report home all wrong, all topsy-turvy. But, look you, to-day it's quite different; we're enchanted whatever happens; instead of Clitagoras, they might sing us Telamon,[466] and we should clap our hands just the same. A perjury or two into the bargain, la! what does that matter to merry companions in their cups? SLAVE. But here they are back again! Will you begone, you loafing scoundrels. MARKET-LOUNGER. Ah ha! here's the company coming out already. A LACONIAN. My dear, sweet friend, come, take your flute in hand; I would fain dance and sing my best in honour of the Athenians and our noble selves. AN ATHENIAN. Yes, take your flute, i' the gods' name. What a delight to see him dance! CHORUS OF LACONIANS. Oh Mnemosyné! inspire these men, inspire my muse who knows our exploits and those of the Athenians. With what a godlike ardour did they swoop down at Artemisium[467] on the ships of the Medes! What a glorious victory was that! For the soldiers of Leonidas,[468] they were like fierce wild-boars whetting their tushes. The sweat ran down their faces, and drenched all their limbs, for verily the Persians were as many as the sands of the seashore. Oh! Artemis, huntress queen, whose arrows pierce the denizens of the woods, virgin goddess, be thou favourable to the Peace we here conclude; through thee may our hearts be long united! May this treaty draw close for ever the bonds of a happy friendship! No more wiles and stratagems! Aid us, oh! aid us, maiden huntress! LYSISTRATA. All is for the best; and now, Laconians, take your wives away home with you, and you, Athenians, yours. May husband live happily with wife, and wife with husband. Dance, dance, to celebrate our bliss, and let us be heedful to avoid like mistakes for the future. CHORUS OF ATHENIANS Appear, appear, dancers, and the Graces with you! Let us invoke, one and all, Artemis, and her heavenly brother, gracious Apollo, patron of the dance, and Dionysus, whose eye darts flame, as he steps forward surrounded by the Maenad maids, and Zeus, who wields the flashing lightning, and his august, thrice-blessed spouse, the Queen of Heaven! These let us invoke, and all the other gods, calling all the inhabitants of the skies to witness the noble Peace now concluded under the fond auspices of Aphrodité. Io Paean! Io Paean! dance, leap, as in honour of a victory won. Evoé! Evoé! And you, our Laconian guests, sing us a new and inspiring strain! CHORUS OF LACONIANS. Leave once more, oh! leave once more the noble height of Taygetus, oh! Muse of Lacedaemon, and join us in singing the praises of Apollo of Amyclae, and Athena of the Brazen House, and the gallant twin sons of Tyndarus, who practise arms on the banks of Eurotas river.[469] Haste, haste hither with nimble-footed pace, let us sing Sparta, the city that delights in choruses divinely sweet and graceful dances, when our maidens bound lightly by the river side, like frolicsome fillies, beating the ground with rapid steps and shaking their long locks in the wind, as Bacchantes wave their wands in the wild revels of the Wine-god. At their head, oh! chaste and beauteous goddess, daughter of Latona, Artemis, do thou lead the song and dance. A fillet binding thy waving tresses, appear in thy loveliness; leap like a fawn; strike thy divine hands together to animate the dance, and aid us to renown the valiant goddess of battles, great Athené of the Brazen House! * * * * * <h5 id="id02672">FINIS OF "LYSISTRATA"</h5> * * * * * <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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