<h2> <SPAN name="ch67b" id="ch67b"></SPAN>CHAPTER LXVII. </h2>
<p><br/></p>
<h3> OF THE RESOLUTION DON QUIXOTE FORMED TO TURN SHEPHERD AND TAKE TO A LIFE IN THE FIELDS WHILE THE YEAR FOR WHICH HE HAD GIVEN HIS WORD WAS RUNNING ITS COURSE; WITH OTHER EVENTS TRULY DELECTABLE AND HAPPY </h3>
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<p>If a multitude of reflections used to harass Don Quixote before he had
been overthrown, a great many more harassed him since his fall. He was
under the shade of a tree, as has been said, and there, like flies on
honey, thoughts came crowding upon him and stinging him. Some of them
turned upon the disenchantment of Dulcinea, others upon the life he was
about to lead in his enforced retirement. Sancho came up and spoke in high
praise of the generous disposition of the lacquey Tosilos.</p>
<p>"Is it possible, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that thou dost still think
that he yonder is a real lacquey? Apparently it has escaped thy memory
that thou hast seen Dulcinea turned and transformed into a peasant wench,
and the Knight of the Mirrors into the bachelor Carrasco; all the work of
the enchanters that persecute me. But tell me now, didst thou ask this
Tosilos, as thou callest him, what has become of Altisidora, did she weep
over my absence, or has she already consigned to oblivion the love
thoughts that used to afflict her when I was present?"</p>
<p>"The thoughts that I had," said Sancho, "were not such as to leave time
for asking fool's questions. Body o' me, senor! is your worship in a
condition now to inquire into other people's thoughts, above all love
thoughts?"</p>
<p>"Look ye, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "there is a great difference between
what is done out of love and what is done out of gratitude. A knight may
very possibly be proof against love; but it is impossible, strictly
speaking, for him to be ungrateful. Altisidora, to all appearance, loved
me truly; she gave me the three kerchiefs thou knowest of; she wept at my
departure, she cursed me, she abused me, casting shame to the winds she
bewailed herself in public; all signs that she adored me; for the wrath of
lovers always ends in curses. I had no hopes to give her, nor treasures to
offer her, for mine are given to Dulcinea, and the treasures of
knights-errant are like those of the fairies,' illusory and deceptive; all
I can give her is the place in my memory I keep for her, without
prejudice, however, to that which I hold devoted to Dulcinea, whom thou
art wronging by thy remissness in whipping thyself and scourging that
flesh—would that I saw it eaten by wolves—which would rather
keep itself for the worms than for the relief of that poor lady."</p>
<p>"Senor," replied Sancho, "if the truth is to be told, I cannot persuade
myself that the whipping of my backside has anything to do with the
disenchantment of the enchanted; it is like saying, 'If your head aches
rub ointment on your knees;' at any rate I'll make bold to swear that in
all the histories dealing with knight-errantry that your worship has read
you have never come across anybody disenchanted by whipping; but whether
or no I'll whip myself when I have a fancy for it, and the opportunity
serves for scourging myself comfortably."</p>
<p>"God grant it," said Don Quixote; "and heaven give thee grace to take it
to heart and own the obligation thou art under to help my lady, who is
thine also, inasmuch as thou art mine."</p>
<p>As they pursued their journey talking in this way they came to the very
same spot where they had been trampled on by the bulls. Don Quixote
recognised it, and said he to Sancho, "This is the meadow where we came
upon those gay shepherdesses and gallant shepherds who were trying to
revive and imitate the pastoral Arcadia there, an idea as novel as it was
happy, in emulation whereof, if so be thou dost approve of it, Sancho, I
would have ourselves turn shepherds, at any rate for the time I have to
live in retirement. I will buy some ewes and everything else requisite for
the pastoral calling; and, I under the name of the shepherd Quixotize and
thou as the shepherd Panzino, we will roam the woods and groves and
meadows singing songs here, lamenting in elegies there, drinking of the
crystal waters of the springs or limpid brooks or flowing rivers. The oaks
will yield us their sweet fruit with bountiful hand, the trunks of the
hard cork trees a seat, the willows shade, the roses perfume, the
widespread meadows carpets tinted with a thousand dyes; the clear pure air
will give us breath, the moon and stars lighten the darkness of the night
for us, song shall be our delight, lamenting our joy, Apollo will supply
us with verses, and love with conceits whereby we shall make ourselves
famed for ever, not only in this but in ages to come."</p>
<p>"Egad," said Sancho, "but that sort of life squares, nay corners, with my
notions; and what is more the bachelor Samson Carrasco and Master Nicholas
the barber won't have well seen it before they'll want to follow it and
turn shepherds along with us; and God grant it may not come into the
curate's head to join the sheepfold too, he's so jovial and fond of
enjoying himself."</p>
<p>"Thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "and the bachelor
Samson Carrasco, if he enters the pastoral fraternity, as no doubt he
will, may call himself the shepherd Samsonino, or perhaps the shepherd
Carrascon; Nicholas the barber may call himself Niculoso, as old Boscan
formerly was called Nemoroso; as for the curate I don't know what name we
can fit to him unless it be something derived from his title, and we call
him the shepherd Curiambro. For the shepherdesses whose lovers we shall
be, we can pick names as we would pears; and as my lady's name does just
as well for a shepherdess's as for a princess's, I need not trouble myself
to look for one that will suit her better; to thine, Sancho, thou canst
give what name thou wilt."</p>
<p>"I don't mean to give her any but Teresona," said Sancho, "which will go
well with her stoutness and with her own right name, as she is called
Teresa; and then when I sing her praises in my verses I'll show how chaste
my passion is, for I'm not going to look 'for better bread than ever came
from wheat' in other men's houses. It won't do for the curate to have a
shepherdess, for the sake of good example; and if the bachelor chooses to
have one, that is his look-out."</p>
<p>"God bless me, Sancho my friend!" said Don Quixote, "what a life we shall
lead! What hautboys and Zamora bagpipes we shall hear, what tabors,
timbrels, and rebecks! And then if among all these different sorts of
music that of the albogues is heard, almost all the pastoral instruments
will be there."</p>
<p>"What are albogues?" asked Sancho, "for I never in my life heard tell of
them or saw them."</p>
<p>"Albogues," said Don Quixote, "are brass plates like candlesticks that
struck against one another on the hollow side make a noise which, if not
very pleasing or harmonious, is not disagreeable and accords very well
with the rude notes of the bagpipe and tabor. The word albogue is Morisco,
as are all those in our Spanish tongue that begin with al; for example,
almohaza, almorzar, alhombra, alguacil, alhucema, almacen, alcancia, and
others of the same sort, of which there are not many more; our language
has only three that are Morisco and end in i, which are borcegui,
zaquizami, and maravedi. Alheli and alfaqui are seen to be Arabic, as well
by the "al" at the beginning as by the "i" they end with. I mention this
incidentally, the chance allusion to albogues having reminded me of it;
and it will be of great assistance to us in the perfect practice of this
calling that I am something of a poet, as thou knowest, and that besides
the bachelor Samson Carrasco is an accomplished one. Of the curate I say
nothing; but I will wager he has some spice of the poet in him, and no
doubt Master Nicholas too, for all barbers, or most of them, are guitar
players and stringers of verses. I will bewail my separation; thou shalt
glorify thyself as a constant lover; the shepherd Carrascon will figure as
a rejected one, and the curate Curiambro as whatever may please him best;
and so all will go as gaily as heart could wish."</p>
<p>To this Sancho made answer, "I am so unlucky, senor, that I'm afraid the
day will never come when I'll see myself at such a calling. O what neat
spoons I'll make when I'm a shepherd! What messes, creams, garlands,
pastoral odds and ends! And if they don't get me a name for wisdom,
they'll not fail to get me one for ingenuity. My daughter Sanchica will
bring us our dinner to the pasture. But stay—she's good-looking, and
shepherds there are with more mischief than simplicity in them; I would
not have her 'come for wool and go back shorn;' love-making and lawless
desires are just as common in the fields as in the cities, and in
shepherds' shanties as in royal palaces; 'do away with the cause, you do
away with the sin;' 'if eyes don't see hearts don't break' and 'better a
clear escape than good men's prayers.'"</p>
<p>"A truce to thy proverbs, Sancho," exclaimed Don Quixote; "any one of
those thou hast uttered would suffice to explain thy meaning; many a time
have I recommended thee not to be so lavish with proverbs and to exercise
some moderation in delivering them; but it seems to me it is only
'preaching in the desert;' 'my mother beats me and I go on with my
tricks."</p>
<p>"It seems to me," said Sancho, "that your worship is like the common
saying, 'Said the frying-pan to the kettle, Get away, blackbreech.' You
chide me for uttering proverbs, and you string them in couples yourself."</p>
<p>"Observe, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "I bring in proverbs to the
purpose, and when I quote them they fit like a ring to the finger; thou
bringest them in by the head and shoulders, in such a way that thou dost
drag them in, rather than introduce them; if I am not mistaken, I have
told thee already that proverbs are short maxims drawn from the experience
and observation of our wise men of old; but the proverb that is not to the
purpose is a piece of nonsense and not a maxim. But enough of this; as
nightfall is drawing on let us retire some little distance from the high
road to pass the night; what is in store for us to-morrow God knoweth."</p>
<p>They turned aside, and supped late and poorly, very much against Sancho's
will, who turned over in his mind the hardships attendant upon
knight-errantry in woods and forests, even though at times plenty
presented itself in castles and houses, as at Don Diego de Miranda's, at
the wedding of Camacho the Rich, and at Don Antonio Moreno's; he
reflected, however, that it could not be always day, nor always night; and
so that night he passed in sleeping, and his master in waking.</p>
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<h2> <SPAN name="ch68b" id="ch68b"></SPAN>CHAPTER LXVIII. </h2>
<p><br/></p>
<h3> OF THE BRISTLY ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE </h3>
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<p>The night was somewhat dark, for though there was a moon in the sky it was
not in a quarter where she could be seen; for sometimes the lady Diana
goes on a stroll to the antipodes, and leaves the mountains all black and
the valleys in darkness. Don Quixote obeyed nature so far as to sleep his
first sleep, but did not give way to the second, very different from
Sancho, who never had any second, because with him sleep lasted from night
till morning, wherein he showed what a sound constitution and few cares he
had. Don Quixote's cares kept him restless, so much so that he awoke
Sancho and said to him, "I am amazed, Sancho, at the unconcern of thy
temperament. I believe thou art made of marble or hard brass, incapable of
any emotion or feeling whatever. I lie awake while thou sleepest, I weep
while thou singest, I am faint with fasting while thou art sluggish and
torpid from pure repletion. It is the duty of good servants to share the
sufferings and feel the sorrows of their masters, if it be only for the
sake of appearances. See the calmness of the night, the solitude of the
spot, inviting us to break our slumbers by a vigil of some sort. Rise as
thou livest, and retire a little distance, and with a good heart and
cheerful courage give thyself three or four hundred lashes on account of
Dulcinea's disenchantment score; and this I entreat of thee, making it a
request, for I have no desire to come to grips with thee a second time, as
I know thou hast a heavy hand. As soon as thou hast laid them on we will
pass the rest of the night, I singing my separation, thou thy constancy,
making a beginning at once with the pastoral life we are to follow at our
village."</p>
<p>"Senor," replied Sancho, "I'm no monk to get up out of the middle of my
sleep and scourge myself, nor does it seem to me that one can pass from
one extreme of the pain of whipping to the other of music. Will your
worship let me sleep, and not worry me about whipping myself? or you'll
make me swear never to touch a hair of my doublet, not to say my flesh."</p>
<p>"O hard heart!" said Don Quixote, "O pitiless squire! O bread ill-bestowed
and favours ill-acknowledged, both those I have done thee and those I mean
to do thee! Through me hast thou seen thyself a governor, and through me
thou seest thyself in immediate expectation of being a count, or obtaining
some other equivalent title, for I—post tenebras spero lucem."</p>
<p>"I don't know what that is," said Sancho; "all I know is that so long as I
am asleep I have neither fear nor hope, trouble nor glory; and good luck
betide him that invented sleep, the cloak that covers over all a man's
thoughts, the food that removes hunger, the drink that drives away thirst,
the fire that warms the cold, the cold that tempers the heat, and, to wind
up with, the universal coin wherewith everything is bought, the weight and
balance that makes the shepherd equal with the king and the fool with the
wise man. Sleep, I have heard say, has only one fault, that it is like
death; for between a sleeping man and a dead man there is very little
difference."</p>
<p>"Never have I heard thee speak so elegantly as now, Sancho," said Don
Quixote; "and here I begin to see the truth of the proverb thou dost
sometimes quote, 'Not with whom thou art bred, but with whom thou art
fed.'"</p>
<p>"Ha, by my life, master mine," said Sancho, "it's not I that am stringing
proverbs now, for they drop in pairs from your worship's mouth faster than
from mine; only there is this difference between mine and yours, that
yours are well-timed and mine are untimely; but anyhow, they are all
proverbs."</p>
<p>At this point they became aware of a harsh indistinct noise that seemed to
spread through all the valleys around. Don Quixote stood up and laid his
hand upon his sword, and Sancho ensconced himself under Dapple and put the
bundle of armour on one side of him and the ass's pack-saddle on the
other, in fear and trembling as great as Don Quixote's perturbation. Each
instant the noise increased and came nearer to the two terrified men, or
at least to one, for as to the other, his courage is known to all. The
fact of the matter was that some men were taking above six hundred pigs to
sell at a fair, and were on their way with them at that hour, and so great
was the noise they made and their grunting and blowing, that they deafened
the ears of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, and they could not make out what
it was. The wide-spread grunting drove came on in a surging mass, and
without showing any respect for Don Quixote's dignity or Sancho's, passed
right over the pair of them, demolishing Sancho's entrenchments, and not
only upsetting Don Quixote but sweeping Rocinante off his feet into the
bargain; and what with the trampling and the grunting, and the pace at
which the unclean beasts went, pack-saddle, armour, Dapple and Rocinante
were left scattered on the ground and Sancho and Don Quixote at their
wits' end.</p>
<p>Sancho got up as well as he could and begged his master to give him his
sword, saying he wanted to kill half a dozen of those dirty unmannerly
pigs, for he had by this time found out that that was what they were.</p>
<p>"Let them be, my friend," said Don Quixote; "this insult is the penalty of
my sin; and it is the righteous chastisement of heaven that jackals should
devour a vanquished knight, and wasps sting him and pigs trample him under
foot."</p>
<p>"I suppose it is the chastisement of heaven, too," said Sancho, "that
flies should prick the squires of vanquished knights, and lice eat them,
and hunger assail them. If we squires were the sons of the knights we
serve, or their very near relations, it would be no wonder if the penalty
of their misdeeds overtook us, even to the fourth generation. But what
have the Panzas to do with the Quixotes? Well, well, let's lie down again
and sleep out what little of the night there's left, and God will send us
dawn and we shall be all right."</p>
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<p>"Sleep thou, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "for thou wast born to sleep
as I was born to watch; and during the time it now wants of dawn I will
give a loose rein to my thoughts, and seek a vent for them in a little
madrigal which, unknown to thee, I composed in my head last night."</p>
<p>"I should think," said Sancho, "that the thoughts that allow one to make
verses cannot be of great consequence; let your worship string verses as
much as you like and I'll sleep as much as I can;" and forthwith, taking
the space of ground he required, he muffled himself up and fell into a
sound sleep, undisturbed by bond, debt, or trouble of any sort. Don
Quixote, propped up against the trunk of a beech or a cork tree—for
Cide Hamete does not specify what kind of tree it was—sang in this
strain to the accompaniment of his own sighs:</p>
<p>When in my mind<br/>
I muse, O Love, upon thy cruelty,<br/>
To death I flee,<br/>
In hope therein the end of all to find.<br/>
<br/>
But drawing near<br/>
That welcome haven in my sea of woe,<br/>
Such joy I know,<br/>
That life revives, and still I linger here.<br/>
<br/>
Thus life doth slay,<br/>
And death again to life restoreth me;<br/>
Strange destiny,<br/>
That deals with life and death as with a play!<br/>
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<p>He accompanied each verse with many sighs and not a few tears, just like
one whose heart was pierced with grief at his defeat and his separation
from Dulcinea.</p>
<p>And now daylight came, and the sun smote Sancho on the eyes with his
beams. He awoke, roused himself up, shook himself and stretched his lazy
limbs, and seeing the havoc the pigs had made with his stores he cursed
the drove, and more besides. Then the pair resumed their journey, and as
evening closed in they saw coming towards them some ten men on horseback
and four or five on foot. Don Quixote's heart beat quick and Sancho's
quailed with fear, for the persons approaching them carried lances and
bucklers, and were in very warlike guise. Don Quixote turned to Sancho and
said, "If I could make use of my weapons, and my promise had not tied my
hands, I would count this host that comes against us but cakes and fancy
bread; but perhaps it may prove something different from what we
apprehend." The men on horseback now came up, and raising their lances
surrounded Don Quixote in silence, and pointed them at his back and
breast, menacing him with death. One of those on foot, putting his finger
to his lips as a sign to him to be silent, seized Rocinante's bridle and
drew him out of the road, and the others driving Sancho and Dapple before
them, and all maintaining a strange silence, followed in the steps of the
one who led Don Quixote. The latter two or three times attempted to ask
where they were taking him to and what they wanted, but the instant he
began to open his lips they threatened to close them with the points of
their lances; and Sancho fared the same way, for the moment he seemed
about to speak one of those on foot punched him with a goad, and Dapple
likewise, as if he too wanted to talk. Night set in, they quickened their
pace, and the fears of the two prisoners grew greater, especially as they
heard themselves assailed with—"Get on, ye Troglodytes;" "Silence,
ye barbarians;" "March, ye cannibals;" "No murmuring, ye Scythians;"
"Don't open your eyes, ye murderous Polyphemes, ye blood-thirsty lions,"
and suchlike names with which their captors harassed the ears of the
wretched master and man. Sancho went along saying to himself, "We,
tortolites, barbers, animals! I don't like those names at all; 'it's in a
bad wind our corn is being winnowed;' 'misfortune comes upon us all at
once like sticks on a dog,' and God grant it may be no worse than them
that this unlucky adventure has in store for us."</p>
<p>Don Quixote rode completely dazed, unable with the aid of all his wits to
make out what could be the meaning of these abusive names they called
them, and the only conclusion he could arrive at was that there was no
good to be hoped for and much evil to be feared. And now, about an hour
after midnight, they reached a castle which Don Quixote saw at once was
the duke's, where they had been but a short time before. "God bless me!"
said he, as he recognised the mansion, "what does this mean? It is all
courtesy and politeness in this house; but with the vanquished good turns
into evil, and evil into worse."</p>
<p>They entered the chief court of the castle and found it prepared and
fitted up in a style that added to their amazement and doubled their
fears, as will be seen in the following chapter.</p>
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