<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_IX"></SPAN>CHAPTER IX</h2>
<br/>
<p>A new spirit, or a liberation of her own, had fired Columbine,
and was now burning within her, unquenchable and unutterable. Some
divine spark had penetrated into that mysterious depth of her, to
inflame and to illumine, so that when she arose from this hour of
calamity she felt that to the tenderness and sorrow and fidelity in
her soul had been added the lightning flash of passion.</p>
<p>"Oh, Ben--shall I be able to hold onto this?" she cried,
flinging wide her arms, as if to embrace the winds of heaven.</p>
<p>"This what, lass?" he asked.</p>
<p>"This--this <i>woman!</i>" she answered, passionately, with her
hands sweeping back to press her breast.</p>
<p>"No woman who wakes ever goes back to a girl again," he said,
sadly.</p>
<p>"I wanted to die--and now I want to live--to fight.... Ben,
you've uplifted me. I was little, weak, miserable.... But in my
dreams, or in some state I can't remember or understand, I've
waited for your very words. I was ready. It's as if I knew you in
some other world, before I was born on this earth; and when you
spoke to me here, so wonderfully--as my mother might have
spoken--my heart leaped up in recognition of you and your call to
my womanhood!... Oh, how strange and beautiful!"</p>
<p>"Miss Collie," he replied, slowly, as he bent to his
saddle-straps, "you're young, an' you've no understandin' of what's
strange an' terrible in life. An' beautiful, too, as you say....
Who knows? Maybe in some former state I was somethin' to you. I
believe in that. Reckon I can't say how or what. Maybe we were
flowers or birds. I've a weakness for that idea."</p>
<p>"Birds! I like the thought, too," replied Columbine. "I love
most birds. But there are hawks, crows, buzzards!"</p>
<p>"I reckon. Lass, there's got to be balance in nature. If it
weren't for the ugly an' the evil, we wouldn't know the beautiful
an' good.... An' now let's ride home. It's gettin' late."</p>
<p>"Ben, ought I not go back to Wilson right now?" she asked,
slowly.</p>
<p>"What for?"</p>
<p>"To tell him--something--and why I can't come to-morrow, or ever
afterward," she replied, low and tremulously.</p>
<p>Wade pondered over her words. It seemed to Columbine that her
sharpened faculties sensed something of hostility, of opposition in
him.</p>
<p>"Reckon to-morrow would be better," he said, presently.
"Wilson's had enough excitement for one day."</p>
<p>"Then I'll go to-morrow," she returned.</p>
<p>In the gathering, cold twilight they rode down the trail in
silence.</p>
<p>"Good night, lass," said Wade, as he reached his cabin. "An'
remember you're not alone any more."</p>
<p>"Good night, my friend," she replied, and rode on.</p>
<p>Columbine encountered Jim Montana at the corrals, and it was not
too dark for her to see his foam-lashed horse. Jim appeared
non-committal, almost surly. But Columbine guessed that he had
ridden to Kremmling and back in one day, on some order of
Jack's.</p>
<p>"Miss Collie, I'll tend to Pronto," he offered. "An' yore
supper'll be waitin'."</p>
<p>A bright fire blazed on the living-room hearth. The rancher was
reading by its light.</p>
<p>"Hello, rosy-cheeks!" greeted the rancher, with unusual
amiability. "Been ridin' ag'in' the wind, hey? Wal, if you ain't
pretty, then my eyes are pore!"</p>
<p>"It's cold, dad," she replied, "and the wind stings. But I
didn't ride fast nor far.... I've been up to see Wilson Moore."</p>
<p>"Ahuh! Wal, how's the boy?" asked Belllounds, gruffly.</p>
<p>"He said he was all right, but--but I guess that's not so,"
responded Columbine.</p>
<p>"Any friends lookin' after him?"</p>
<p>"Oh yes--he must have friends--the Andrewses and others. I'm
glad to say his cabin is comfortable. He'll be looked after."</p>
<p>"Wal, I'm glad to hear thet. I'll send Lem or Wade up thar an'
see if we can do anythin' fer the boy."</p>
<p>"Dad--that's just like you," replied Columbine, with her hand
seeking his broad shoulder.</p>
<p>"Ahuh! Say, Collie, hyar's letters from 'most everybody in
Kremmlin' wantin' to be invited up fer October first. How about
askin' 'em?"</p>
<p>"The more the merrier," replied Columbine.</p>
<p>"Wal, I reckon I'll not ask anybody."</p>
<p>"Why not, dad?"</p>
<p>"No one can gamble on thet son of mine, even on his
weddin'-day," replied Belllounds, gloomily.</p>
<p>"Dad, what'd Jack do to-day?"</p>
<p>"I'm not sayin' he did anythin'," answered the rancher.</p>
<p>"Dad, you can gamble on me."</p>
<p>"Wal, I should smile," he said, putting his big arm around her.
"I wish you was Jack an' Jack was you."</p>
<p>At that moment the young man spoken of slouched into the room,
with his head bandaged, and took a seat at the supper-table.</p>
<p>"Wal, Collie, let's go an' get it," said the rancher, cheerily.
"I can always eat, anyhow."</p>
<p>"I'm hungry as a bear," rejoined Columbine, as she took her
seat, which was opposite Jack.</p>
<p>"Where 'ye you been?" he asked, curiously.</p>
<p>"Why, good evening, Jack! Did you finally notice me?... I've
been riding Pronto, the first time since he was hurt. Had a lovely
ride--up through Sage Valley."</p>
<p>Jack glowered at her with the one unbandaged eye, and growled
something under his breath, and then began to stab meat and
potatoes with his fork.</p>
<p>"What's the matter, Jack? Aren't you well?" asked Columbine,
with a solicitude just a little too sweet to be genuine.</p>
<p>"Yes, I'm well," snapped Jack.</p>
<p>"But you look sick. That is, what I can see of your face looks
sick. Your mouth droops at the corners. You're very pale--and red
in spots. And your one eye glows with unearthly woe, as if you were
not long for this world!"</p>
<p>The amazing nature of this speech, coming from the girl who had
always been so sweet and quiet and backward, was attested to by the
consternation of Jack and the mirth of his father.</p>
<p>"Are you making fun of me?" demanded Jack.</p>
<p>"Why, Jack! Do you think I would make fun of you? I only wanted
to say how queer you look.... Are you going to be married with one
eye?"</p>
<p>Jack collapsed at that, and the old man, after a long stare of
open-mouthed wonder, broke out: "Haw! Haw! Haw!... By Golly!
lass--I'd never believed thet was in you.... Jack, be game an' take
your medicine.... An' both of you forgive an' forget. Thar'll be
quarrels enough, mebbe, without rakin' over the past."</p>
<p>When alone again Columbine reverted to a mood vastly removed
from her apparent levity with the rancher and his son. A grave and
inward-searching thought possessed her, and it had to do with the
uplift, the spiritual advance, the rise above mere personal
welfare, that had strangely come to her through Bent Wade. From
their first meeting he had possessed a singular attraction for her
that now, in the light of the meaning of his life, seemed to
Columbine to be the man's nobility and wisdom, arising out of his
travail, out of the terrible years that had left their record upon
his face.</p>
<p>And so Columbine strove to bind forever in her soul the spirit
which had arisen in her, interpreting from Wade's rude words of
philosophy that which she needed for her own light and
strength.</p>
<p>She appreciated her duty toward the man who had been a father to
her. Whatever he asked that would she do. And as for the son she
must live with the rest of her life, her duty there was to be a
good wife, to bear with his faults, to strive always to help him by
kindness, patience, loyalty, and such affection as was possible to
her. Hate had to be reckoned with, and hate, she knew, had no place
in a good woman's heart. It must be expelled, if that were humanly
possible. All this was hard, would grow harder, but she accepted
it, and knew her mind.</p>
<p>Her soul was her own, unchangeable through any adversity. She
could be with that alone always, aloof from the petty cares and
troubles common to people. Wade's words had thrilled her with their
secret, with their limitless hope of an unknown world of thought
and feeling. Happiness, in the ordinary sense, might never be hers.
Alas for her dreams! But there had been given her a glimpse of
something higher than pleasure and contentment. Dreams were but
dreams. But she could still dream of what had been, of what might
have been, of the beauty and mystery of life, of something in
nature that called sweetly and irresistibly to her. Who could rob
her of the rolling, gray, velvety hills, and the purple peaks and
the black ranges, among which she had been found a waif, a little
lost creature, born like a columbine under the spruces?</p>
<p>Love, sudden-dawning, inexplicable love, was her secret, still
tremulously new, and perilous in its sweetness. That only did she
fear to realize and to face, because it was an unknown factor, a
threatening flame. Her sudden knowledge of it seemed inextricably
merged with the mounting, strong, and steadfast stream of her
spirit.</p>
<p>"I'll go to him. I'll tell him," she murmured. "He shall have
<i>that!</i>... Then I must bid him--good-by--forever!"</p>
<p>To tell Wilson would be sweet; to leave him would be bitter.
Vague possibilities haunted her. What might come of the telling?
How dark loomed the bitterness! She could not know what hid in
either of these acts until they were fulfilled. And the hours
became long, and sleep far off, and the quietness of the house a
torment, and the melancholy wail of coyotes a reminder of happy
girlhood, never to return.</p>
<hr style="width: 25%;">
<p>When next day the long-deferred hour came Columbine selected a
horse that she could run, and she rode up the winding valley swift
as the wind. But at the aspen grove, where Wade's keen, gentle
voice had given her secret life, she suffered a reaction that made
her halt and ascend the slope very slowly and with many stops.</p>
<p>Sight of Wade's horse haltered near the cabin relieved Columbine
somewhat of a gathering might of emotion. The hunter would be
inside and so she would not be compelled at once to confess her
secret. This expectancy gave impetus to her lagging steps. Before
she reached the open door she called out.</p>
<p>"Collie, you're late," answered Wilson, with both joy and
reproach, as she entered. The cowboy lay upon his bed, and he was
alone in the room.</p>
<p>"Oh!... Where is Ben?" exclaimed Columbine.</p>
<p>"He was here. He cooked my dinner. We waited, but you never
came. The dinner got cold. I made sure you'd backed out--weren't
coming at all--and I couldn't eat.... Wade said he knew you'd come.
He went off with the hounds, somewhere ... and oh, Collie, it's all
right now!"</p>
<p>Columbine walked to his bedside and looked down upon him with a
feeling as if some giant hand was tugging at her heart. He looked
better. The swelling and redness of his face were less marked. And
at that moment no pain shadowed his eyes. They were soft, dark,
eloquent. If Columbine had not come with her avowed resolution and
desire to unburden her heart she would have found that look in his
eyes a desperately hard one to resist. Had it ever shone there
before? Blind she had been.</p>
<p>"You're better," she said, happily.</p>
<p>"Sure--<i>now</i>. But I had a bad night. Didn't sleep till near
daylight. Wade found me asleep.... Collie, it's good of you to
come. You look so--so wonderful! I never saw your face glow like
that. And your eyes--oh!"</p>
<p>"You think I'm pretty, then?" she asked, dreamily, not occupied
at all with that thought.</p>
<p>He uttered a contemptuous laugh.</p>
<p>"Come closer," he said, reaching for her with a clumsy bandaged
hand.</p>
<p>Down upon her knees Columbine fell. Both hands flew to cover her
face. And as she swayed forward she shook violently, and there
escaped her lips a little, muffled sound.</p>
<p>"Why--Collie!" cried Moore, astounded. "Good Heavens! Don't cry!
I--I didn't mean anything. I only wanted to feel you--touch your
hand."</p>
<p>"Here," she answered, blindly holding out her hand, groping for
his till she found it. Her other was still pressed to her eyes. One
moment longer would Columbine keep her secret--hide her eyes--revel
in the unutterable joy and sadness of this crisis that could come
to a woman only once.</p>
<p>"What in the world?" ejaculated the cowboy, now bewildered. But
he possessed himself of the trembling hand offered. "Collie, you
act so strange.... You're not crying!... Am I only locoed, or
flighty, or what? Dear, look at me."</p>
<p>Columbine swept her hand from her eyes with a gesture of utter
surrender.</p>
<p>"Wilson, I'm ashamed--and sad--and gloriously happy," she said,
with swift breathlessness.</p>
<p>"Why?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Because of--of something I have to tell you," she
whispered.</p>
<p>"What is that?"</p>
<p>She bent over him.</p>
<p>"Can't you guess?"</p>
<p>He turned pale, and his eyes burned with intense fire.</p>
<p>"I won't guess ... I daren't guess."</p>
<p>"It's something that's been true for years--forever, it
seems--something I never dreamed of till last night," she went on,
softly.</p>
<p>"Collie!" he cried. "Don't torture me!"</p>
<p>"Do you remember long ago--when we quarreled so
dreadfully--because you kissed me?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Do you think I could kiss <i>you</i>--and live to forget?"</p>
<p>"I love you!" she whispered, shyly, feeling the hot blood burn
her.</p>
<p>That whisper transformed Wilson Moore. His arm flashed round her
neck and pulled her face down to his, and, holding her in a close
embrace, he kissed her lips and cheeks and wet eyes, and then again
her lips, passionately and tenderly.</p>
<p>Then he pressed her head down upon his breast.</p>
<p>"My God! I can't believe! Say it again!" he cried, hoarsely.</p>
<p>Columbine buried her flaming face in the blanket covering him,
and her hands clutched it tightly. The wildness of his joy, the
strange strength and power of his kisses, utterly changed her. Upon
his breast she lay, without desire to lift her face. All seemed
different, wilder, as she responded to his appeal: "Yes, I love
you! Oh, I love--love--love you!"</p>
<p>"Dearest!... Lift your face.... It's true now. I know. It's
proved. But let me look at you."</p>
<p>Columbine lifted herself as best she could. But she was blinded
by tears and choked with utterance that would not come, and in the
grip of a shuddering emotion that was realization of loss in a
moment when she learned the supreme and imperious sweetness of
love.</p>
<p>"Kiss me, Columbine," he demanded.</p>
<p>Through blurred eyes she saw his face, white and rapt, and she
bent to it, meeting his lips with her first kiss which was her
last.</p>
<p>"Again, Collie--again!" he begged.</p>
<p>"No--no more," she whispered, very low, and encircling his neck
with her arms she hid her face and held him convulsively, and
stifled the sobs that shook her.</p>
<p>Then Moore was silent, holding her with his free hand, breathing
hard, and slowly quieting down. Columbine felt then that he knew
that there was something terribly wrong, and that perhaps he dared
not voice his fear. At any rate, he silently held her, waiting.
That silent wait grew unendurable for Columbine. She wanted to
prolong this moment that was to be all she could ever surrender.
But she dared not do so, for she knew if he ever kissed her again
her duty to Belllounds would vanish like mist in the sun.</p>
<p>To release her hold upon him seemed like a tearing of her
heartstrings. She sat up, she wiped the tears from her eyes, she
rose to her feet, all the time striving for strength to face him
again.</p>
<p>A loud voice ringing from the cliffs outside, startled
Columbine. It came from Wade calling the hounds. He had returned,
and the fact stirred her.</p>
<p>"I'm to marry Jack Belllounds on October first."</p>
<p>The cowboy raised himself up as far as he was able. It was
agonizing for Columbine to watch the changing and whitening of his
face!</p>
<p>"No--no!" he gasped.</p>
<p>"Yes, it's true," she replied, hopelessly.</p>
<p>"<i>No!</i>" he exclaimed, hoarsely.</p>
<p>"But, Wilson, I tell you yes. I came to tell you. It's true--oh,
it's true!"</p>
<p>"But, girl, you said you love me," he declared, transfixing her
with dark, accusing eyes.</p>
<p>"That's just as terribly true."</p>
<p>He softened a little, and something of terror and horror took
the place of anger.</p>
<p>Just then Wade entered the cabin with his soft tread, hesitated,
and then came to Columbine's side. She could not unrivet her gaze
from Moore to look at her friend, but she reached out with
trembling hand to him. Wade clasped it in a horny palm.</p>
<p>Wilson fought for self-control in vain.</p>
<p>"Collie, if you love me, how can you marry Jack Belllounds?" he
demanded.</p>
<p>"I must."</p>
<p>"Why must you?"</p>
<p>"I owe my life and my bringing up to his father. He wants me to
do it. His heart is set upon my helping Jack to become a man....
Dad loves me, and I love him. I must stand by him. I must repay
him. It is my duty."</p>
<p>"You've a duty to yourself--as a woman!" he rejoined,
passionately. "Belllounds is wrapped up in his son. He's blind to
the shame of such a marriage. But you're not."</p>
<p>"Shame?" faltered Columbine.</p>
<p>"Yes. The shame of marrying one man when you love another. You
can't love two men.... You'll give yourself. You'll be his
<i>wife</i>! Do you understand what that means?"</p>
<p>"I--I think--I do," replied Columbine, faintly. Where had
vanished all her wonderful spirit? This fire-eyed boy was breaking
her heart with his reproach.</p>
<p>"But you'll bear his children," cried Wilson. "Mother
of--them--when you love me!... Didn't you think of that?"</p>
<p>"Oh no--I never did--I never did!" wailed Columbine.</p>
<p>"Then you'll think before it's too late?" he implored, wildly.
"Dearest Collie, think! You won't ruin yourself! You won't? Say you
won't!"</p>
<p>"But--Oh, Wilson, what can I say? I've got to marry him."</p>
<p>"Collie, I'll kill him before he gets you."</p>
<p>"You mustn't talk so. If you fought again--if anything terrible
happened, it'd kill me."</p>
<p>"You'd be better off!" he flashed, white as a sheet.</p>
<p>Columbine leaned against Wade for support. She was fast
weakening in strength, although her spirit held. She knew what was
inevitable. But Wilson's agony was rending her.</p>
<p>"Listen," began the cowboy again. "It's your life--your
happiness--your soul.... Belllounds is crazy over that spoiled boy.
He thinks the sun rises and sets in him.... But Jack Belllounds is
no good on this earth! Collie dearest, don't think that's my
jealousy. I am horribly jealous. But I know him. He's not worth
you! No man is--and he the least. He'll break your heart, drag you
down, ruin your health--kill you, as sure as you stand there. I
want you to know I could prove to you what he is. But don't make
me. Trust me, Collie. Believe me."</p>
<p>"Wilson, I do believe you," cried Columbine. "But it doesn't
make any difference. It only makes my duty harder."</p>
<p>"He'll treat you like he treats a horse or a dog. He'll beat
you--"</p>
<p>"He never will! If he ever lays a hand on me--"</p>
<p>"If not that, he'll tire of you. Jack Belllounds never stuck to
anything in his life, and never will. It's not in him. He wants
what he can't have. If he gets it, then right off he doesn't want
it. Oh, I've known him since he was a kid.... Columbine, you've a
mistaken sense of duty. No girl need sacrifice her all because some
man found her a lost baby and gave her a home. A woman owes more to
herself than to any one."</p>
<p>"Oh, that's true, Wilson. I've thought it all.... But you're
unjust--hard. You make no allowance for--for some possible good in
every one. Dad swears I can reform Jack. Maybe I can. I'll pray for
it."</p>
<p>"Reform Jack Belllounds! How can you save a bad egg? That damned
coward! Didn't he prove to you what he was when he jumped on me and
kicked my broken foot till I fainted?... What do you want?"</p>
<p>"Don't say any more--please," cried Columbine. "Oh, I'm so
sorry.... I oughtn't have come.... Ben, take me home."</p>
<p>"But, Collie, I love you," frantically urged Wilson. "And he--he
may love you--but he's--Collie--he's been--"</p>
<p>Here Moore seemed to bite his tongue, to hold back speech, to
fight something terrible and desperate and cowardly in himself.</p>
<p>Columbine heard only his impassioned declaration of love, and to
that she vibrated.</p>
<p>"You speak as if this was one--sided," she burst out, as once
more the gush of hot blood surged over her. "You don't love me any
more than I love you. Not as much, for I'm a woman!... I love with
all my heart and soul!"</p>
<p>Moore fell back upon the bed, spent and overcome.</p>
<p>"Wade, my friend, for God's sake do something," he whispered,
appealing to the hunter as if in a last hope. "Tell Collie what
it'll mean for her to marry Belllounds. If that doesn't change her,
then tell her what it'll mean to me. I'll never go home. I'll never
leave here. If she hadn't told me she loved me then, I might have
stood anything. But now I can't. It'll kill me, Wade."</p>
<p>"Boy, you're talkin' flighty again," replied Wade. "This mornin'
when I come you were dreamin' an' talkin'--clean out of your
head.... Well, now, you an' Collie listen. You're right an' she's
right. I reckon I never run across a deal with two people fixed
just like you. But that doesn't hinder me from feelin' the same
about it as I'd feel about somethin' I was used to."</p>
<p>He paused, and, gently releasing Columbine, he went to Moore,
and retied his loosened bandage, and spread out the disarranged
blankets. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and bent over a
little, running a roughened hand through the scant hair that had
begun to silver upon his head. Presently he looked up, and from
that sallow face, with its lines and furrows, and from the deep,
inscrutable eyes, there fell a light which, however sad and wise in
its infinite understanding of pain and strife, was still ruthless
and unquenchable in its hope.</p>
<p>"Wade, for God's sake save Columbine!" importuned Wilson.</p>
<p>"Oh, if you only could!" cried Columbine, impelled beyond her
power to resist by that prayer.</p>
<p>"Lass, you stand by your convictions," he said, impressively.
"An' Moore, you be a man an' don't make it so hard for her. Neither
of you can do anythin'.... Now there's old Belllounds--he'll never
change. He might r'ar up for this or that, but he'll never change
his cherished hopes for his son.... But Jack might change! Lookin'
back over all the years I remember many boys like this Buster Jack,
an' I remember how in the nature of their doin's they just hanged
themselves. I've a queer foresight about people whose trouble I've
made my own. It's somethin' that never fails. When their trouble's
goin' to turn out bad then I feel a terrible yearnin' to tell the
story of Hell-Bent Wade. That foresight of trouble gave me my
name.... But it's not operatin' here.... An' so, my young friends,
you can believe me when I say somethin' will happen. As far as
October first is concerned, or any time near, Collie isn't goin' to
marry Jack Belllounds."</p>
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