<h2>CHAPTER XII</h2>
<p>Winnie Verloc, the widow of Mr Verloc, the sister of the late
faithful Stevie (blown to fragments in a state of innocence and
in the conviction of being engaged in a humanitarian enterprise),
did not run beyond the door of the parlour. She had indeed
run away so far from a mere trickle of blood, but that was a
movement of instinctive repulsion. And there she had
paused, with staring eyes and lowered head. As though she
had run through long years in her flight across the small
parlour, Mrs Verloc by the door was quite a different person from
the woman who had been leaning over the sofa, a little swimmy in
her head, but otherwise free to enjoy the profound calm of
idleness and irresponsibility. Mrs Verloc was no longer
giddy. Her head was steady. On the other hand, she
was no longer calm. She was afraid.</p>
<p>If she avoided looking in the direction of her reposing
husband it was not because she was afraid of him. Mr Verloc
was not frightful to behold. He looked comfortable.
Moreover, he was dead. Mrs Verloc entertained no vain
delusions on the subject of the dead. Nothing brings them
back, neither love nor hate. They can do nothing to
you. They are as nothing. Her mental state was tinged
by a sort of austere contempt for that man who had let himself be
killed so easily. He had been the master of a house, the
husband of a woman, and the murderer of her Stevie. And now
he was of no account in every respect. He was of less
practical account than the clothing on his body, than his
overcoat, than his boots—than that hat lying on the
floor. He was nothing. He was not worth looking
at. He was even no longer the murderer of poor
Stevie. The only murderer that would be found in the room
when people came to look for Mr Verloc would
be—herself!</p>
<p>Her hands shook so that she failed twice in the task of
refastening her veil. Mrs Verloc was no longer a person of
leisure and responsibility. She was afraid. The
stabbing of Mr Verloc had been only a blow. It had relieved
the pent-up agony of shrieks strangled in her throat, of tears
dried up in her hot eyes, of the maddening and indignant rage at
the atrocious part played by that man, who was less than nothing
now, in robbing her of the boy.</p>
<p>It had been an obscurely prompted blow. The blood
trickling on the floor off the handle of the knife had turned it
into an extremely plain case of murder. Mrs Verloc, who
always refrained from looking deep into things, was compelled to
look into the very bottom of this thing. She saw there no
haunting face, no reproachful shade, no vision of remorse, no
sort of ideal conception. She saw there an object.
That object was the gallows. Mrs Verloc was afraid of the
gallows.</p>
<p>She was terrified of them ideally. Having never set eyes
on that last argument of men’s justice except in
illustrative woodcuts to a certain type of tales, she first saw
them erect against a black and stormy background, festooned with
chains and human bones, circled about by birds that peck at dead
men’s eyes. This was frightful enough, but Mrs
Verloc, though not a well-informed woman, had a sufficient
knowledge of the institutions of her country to know that gallows
are no longer erected romantically on the banks of dismal rivers
or on wind-swept headlands, but in the yards of jails.
There within four high walls, as if into a pit, at dawn of day,
the murderer was brought out to be executed, with a horrible
quietness and, as the reports in the newspapers always said,
“in the presence of the authorities.” With her
eyes staring on the floor, her nostrils quivering with anguish
and shame, she imagined herself all alone amongst a lot of
strange gentlemen in silk hats who were calmly proceeding about
the business of hanging her by the neck.
That—never! Never! And how was it done?
The impossibility of imagining the details of such quiet
execution added something maddening to her abstract terror.
The newspapers never gave any details except one, but that one
with some affectation was always there at the end of a meagre
report. Mrs Verloc remembered its nature. It came
with a cruel burning pain into her head, as if the words
“The drop given was fourteen feet” had been scratched
on her brain with a hot needle. “The drop given was
fourteen feet.”</p>
<p>These words affected her physically too. Her throat
became convulsed in waves to resist strangulation; and the
apprehension of the jerk was so vivid that she seized her head in
both hands as if to save it from being torn off her
shoulders. “The drop given was fourteen
feet.” No! that must never be. She could not
stand <i>that</i>. The thought of it even was not
bearable. She could not stand thinking of it.
Therefore Mrs Verloc formed the resolution to go at once and
throw herself into the river off one of the bridges.</p>
<p>This time she managed to refasten her veil. With her
face as if masked, all black from head to foot except for some
flowers in her hat, she looked up mechanically at the
clock. She thought it must have stopped. She could
not believe that only two minutes had passed since she had looked
at it last. Of course not. It had been stopped all
the time. As a matter of fact, only three minutes had
elapsed from the moment she had drawn the first deep, easy breath
after the blow, to this moment when Mrs Verloc formed the
resolution to drown herself in the Thames. But Mrs Verloc
could not believe that. She seemed to have heard or read
that clocks and watches always stopped at the moment of murder
for the undoing of the murderer. She did not care.
“To the bridge—and over I go.” . . . But her
movements were slow.</p>
<p>She dragged herself painfully across the shop, and had to hold
on to the handle of the door before she found the necessary
fortitude to open it. The street frightened her, since it
led either to the gallows or to the river. She floundered
over the doorstep head forward, arms thrown out, like a person
falling over the parapet of a bridge. This entrance into
the open air had a foretaste of drowning; a slimy dampness
enveloped her, entered her nostrils, clung to her hair. It
was not actually raining, but each gas lamp had a rusty little
halo of mist. The van and horses were gone, and in the
black street the curtained window of the carters’
eating-house made a square patch of soiled blood-red light
glowing faintly very near the level of the pavement. Mrs
Verloc, dragging herself slowly towards it, thought that she was
a very friendless woman. It was true. It was so true
that, in a sudden longing to see some friendly face, she could
think of no one else but of Mrs Neale, the charwoman. She
had no acquaintances of her own. Nobody would miss her in a
social way. It must not be imagined that the Widow Verloc
had forgotten her mother. This was not so. Winnie had
been a good daughter because she had been a devoted sister.
Her mother had always leaned on her for support. No
consolation or advice could be expected there. Now that
Stevie was dead the bond seemed to be broken. She could not
face the old woman with the horrible tale. Moreover, it was
too far. The river was her present destination. Mrs
Verloc tried to forget her mother.</p>
<p>Each step cost her an effort of will which seemed the last
possible. Mrs Verloc had dragged herself past the red glow
of the eating-house window. “To the bridge—and
over I go,” she repeated to herself with fierce
obstinacy. She put out her hand just in time to steady
herself against a lamp-post. “I’ll never get
there before morning,” she thought. The fear of death
paralysed her efforts to escape the gallows. It seemed to
her she had been staggering in that street for hours.
“I’ll never get there,” she thought.
“They’ll find me knocking about the streets.
It’s too far.” She held on, panting under her
black veil.</p>
<p>“The drop given was fourteen feet.”</p>
<p>She pushed the lamp-post away from her violently, and found
herself walking. But another wave of faintness overtook her
like a great sea, washing away her heart clean out of her
breast. “I will never get there,” she muttered,
suddenly arrested, swaying lightly where she stood.
“Never.”</p>
<p>And perceiving the utter impossibility of walking as far as
the nearest bridge, Mrs Verloc thought of a flight abroad.</p>
<p>It came to her suddenly. Murderers escaped. They
escaped abroad. Spain or California. Mere
names. The vast world created for the glory of man was only
a vast blank to Mrs Verloc. She did not know which way to
turn. Murderers had friends, relations, helpers—they
had knowledge. She had nothing. She was the most
lonely of murderers that ever struck a mortal blow. She was
alone in London: and the whole town of marvels and mud, with its
maze of streets and its mass of lights, was sunk in a hopeless
night, rested at the bottom of a black abyss from which no
unaided woman could hope to scramble out.</p>
<p>She swayed forward, and made a fresh start blindly, with an
awful dread of falling down; but at the end of a few steps,
unexpectedly, she found a sensation of support, of
security. Raising her head, she saw a man’s face
peering closely at her veil. Comrade Ossipon was not afraid
of strange women, and no feeling of false delicacy could prevent
him from striking an acquaintance with a woman apparently very
much intoxicated. Comrade Ossipon was interested in
women. He held up this one between his two large palms,
peering at her in a business-like way till he heard her say
faintly “Mr Ossipon!” and then he very nearly let her
drop to the ground.</p>
<p>“Mrs Verloc!” he exclaimed. “You
here!”</p>
<p>It seemed impossible to him that she should have been
drinking. But one never knows. He did not go into
that question, but attentive not to discourage kind fate
surrendering to him the widow of Comrade Verloc, he tried to draw
her to his breast. To his astonishment she came quite
easily, and even rested on his arm for a moment before she
attempted to disengage herself. Comrade Ossipon would not
be brusque with kind fate. He withdrew his arm in a natural
way.</p>
<p>“You recognised me,” she faltered out, standing
before him, fairly steady on her legs.</p>
<p>“Of course I did,” said Ossipon with perfect
readiness. “I was afraid you were going to
fall. I’ve thought of you too often lately not to
recognise you anywhere, at any time. I’ve always
thought of you—ever since I first set eyes on
you.”</p>
<p>Mrs Verloc seemed not to hear. “You were coming to
the shop?” she said nervously.</p>
<p>“Yes; at once,” answered Ossipon.
“Directly I read the paper.”</p>
<p>In fact, Comrade Ossipon had been skulking for a good two
hours in the neighbourhood of Brett Street, unable to make up his
mind for a bold move. The robust anarchist was not exactly
a bold conqueror. He remembered that Mrs Verloc had never
responded to his glances by the slightest sign of
encouragement. Besides, he thought the shop might be
watched by the police, and Comrade Ossipon did not wish the
police to form an exaggerated notion of his revolutionary
sympathies. Even now he did not know precisely what to
do. In comparison with his usual amatory speculations this
was a big and serious undertaking. He ignored how much
there was in it and how far he would have to go in order to get
hold of what there was to get—supposing there was a chance
at all. These perplexities checking his elation imparted to
his tone a soberness well in keeping with the circumstances.</p>
<p>“May I ask you where you were going?” he inquired
in a subdued voice.</p>
<p>“Don’t ask me!” cried Mrs Verloc with a
shuddering, repressed violence. All her strong vitality
recoiled from the idea of death. “Never mind where I
was going. . . .”</p>
<p>Ossipon concluded that she was very much excited but perfectly
sober. She remained silent by his side for moment, then all
at once she did something which he did not expect. She
slipped her hand under his arm. He was startled by the act
itself certainly, and quite as much too by the palpably resolute
character of this movement. But this being a delicate
affair, Comrade Ossipon behaved with delicacy. He contented
himself by pressing the hand slightly against his robust
ribs. At the same time he felt himself being impelled
forward, and yielded to the impulse. At the end of Brett
Street he became aware of being directed to the left. He
submitted.</p>
<p>The fruiterer at the corner had put out the blazing glory of
his oranges and lemons, and Brett Place was all darkness,
interspersed with the misty halos of the few lamps defining its
triangular shape, with a cluster of three lights on one stand in
the middle. The dark forms of the man and woman glided
slowly arm in arm along the walls with a loverlike and homeless
aspect in the miserable night.</p>
<p>“What would you say if I were to tell you that I was
going to find you?” Mrs Verloc asked, gripping his arm with
force.</p>
<p>“I would say that you couldn’t find anyone more
ready to help you in your trouble,” answered Ossipon, with
a notion of making tremendous headway. In fact, the
progress of this delicate affair was almost taking his breath
away.</p>
<p>“In my trouble!” Mrs Verloc repeated slowly.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“And do you know what my trouble is?” she
whispered with strange intensity.</p>
<p>“Ten minutes after seeing the evening paper,”
explained Ossipon with ardour, “I met a fellow whom you may
have seen once or twice at the shop perhaps, and I had a talk
with him which left no doubt whatever in my mind. Then I
started for here, wondering whether you—I’ve been
fond of you beyond words ever since I set eyes on your
face,” he cried, as if unable to command his feelings.</p>
<p>Comrade Ossipon assumed correctly that no woman was capable of
wholly disbelieving such a statement. But he did not know
that Mrs Verloc accepted it with all the fierceness the instinct
of self-preservation puts into the grip of a drowning
person. To the widow of Mr Verloc the robust anarchist was
like a radiant messenger of life.</p>
<p>They walked slowly, in step. “I thought so,”
Mrs Verloc murmured faintly.</p>
<p>“You’ve read it in my eyes,” suggested
Ossipon with great assurance.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she breathed out into his inclined ear.</p>
<p>“A love like mine could not be concealed from a woman
like you,” he went on, trying to detach his mind from
material considerations such as the business value of the shop,
and the amount of money Mr Verloc might have left in the
bank. He applied himself to the sentimental side of the
affair. In his heart of hearts he was a little shocked at
his success. Verloc had been a good fellow, and certainly a
very decent husband as far as one could see. However,
Comrade Ossipon was not going to quarrel with his luck for the
sake of a dead man. Resolutely he suppressed his sympathy
for the ghost of Comrade Verloc, and went on.</p>
<p>“I could not conceal it. I was too full of
you. I daresay you could not help seeing it in my
eyes. But I could not guess it. You were always so
distant. . . .”</p>
<p>“What else did you expect?” burst out Mrs
Verloc. “I was a respectable woman—”</p>
<p>She paused, then added, as if speaking to herself, in sinister
resentment: “Till he made me what I am.”</p>
<p>Ossipon let that pass, and took up his running.
“He never did seem to me to be quite worthy of you,”
he began, throwing loyalty to the winds. “You were
worthy of a better fate.”</p>
<p>Mrs Verloc interrupted bitterly:</p>
<p>“Better fate! He cheated me out of seven years of
life.”</p>
<p>“You seemed to live so happily with him.”
Ossipon tried to exculpate the lukewarmness of his past
conduct. “It’s that what’s made me
timid. You seemed to love him. I was
surprised—and jealous,” he added.</p>
<p>“Love him!” Mrs Verloc cried out in a whisper,
full of scorn and rage. “Love him! I was a good
wife to him. I am a respectable woman. You thought I
loved him! You did! Look here, Tom—”</p>
<p>The sound of this name thrilled Comrade Ossipon with
pride. For his name was Alexander, and he was called Tom by
arrangement with the most familiar of his intimates. It was
a name of friendship—of moments of expansion. He had
no idea that she had ever heard it used by anybody. It was
apparent that she had not only caught it, but had treasured it in
her memory—perhaps in her heart.</p>
<p>“Look here, Tom! I was a young girl. I was
done up. I was tired. I had two people depending on
what I could do, and it did seem as if I couldn’t do any
more. Two people—mother and the boy. He was
much more mine than mother’s. I sat up nights and
nights with him on my lap, all alone upstairs, when I
wasn’t more than eight years old myself. And
then—He was mine, I tell you. . . . You can’t
understand that. No man can understand it. What was I
to do? There was a young fellow—”</p>
<p>The memory of the early romance with the young butcher
survived, tenacious, like the image of a glimpsed ideal in that
heart quailing before the fear of the gallows and full of revolt
against death.</p>
<p>“That was the man I loved then,” went on the widow
of Mr Verloc. “I suppose he could see it in my eyes
too. Five and twenty shillings a week, and his father
threatened to kick him out of the business if he made such a fool
of himself as to marry a girl with a crippled mother and a crazy
idiot of a boy on her hands. But he would hang about me,
till one evening I found the courage to slam the door in his
face. I had to do it. I loved him dearly. Five
and twenty shillings a week! There was that other
man—a good lodger. What is a girl to do? Could
I’ve gone on the streets? He seemed kind. He
wanted me, anyhow. What was I to do with mother and that
poor boy? Eh? I said yes. He seemed
good-natured, he was freehanded, he had money, he never said
anything. Seven years—seven years a good wife to him,
the kind, the good, the generous, the—And he loved
me. Oh yes. He loved me till I sometimes wished
myself—Seven years. Seven years a wife to him.
And do you know what he was, that dear friend of yours? Do
you know what he was? He was a devil!”</p>
<p>The superhuman vehemence of that whispered statement
completely stunned Comrade Ossipon. Winnie Verloc turning
about held him by both arms, facing him under the falling mist in
the darkness and solitude of Brett Place, in which all sounds of
life seemed lost as if in a triangular well of asphalt and
bricks, of blind houses and unfeeling stones.</p>
<p>“No; I didn’t know,” he declared, with a
sort of flabby stupidity, whose comical aspect was lost upon a
woman haunted by the fear of the gallows, “but I do
now. I—I understand,” he floundered on, his
mind speculating as to what sort of atrocities Verloc could have
practised under the sleepy, placid appearances of his married
estate. It was positively awful. “I
understand,” he repeated, and then by a sudden inspiration
uttered an—“Unhappy woman!” of lofty
commiseration instead of the more familiar “Poor
darling!” of his usual practice. This was no usual
case. He felt conscious of something abnormal going on,
while he never lost sight of the greatness of the stake.
“Unhappy, brave woman!”</p>
<p>He was glad to have discovered that variation; but he could
discover nothing else.</p>
<p>“Ah, but he is dead now,” was the best he could
do. And he put a remarkable amount of animosity into his
guarded exclamation. Mrs Verloc caught at his arm with a
sort of frenzy.</p>
<p>“You guessed then he was dead,” she murmured, as
if beside herself. “You! You guessed what I had
to do. Had to!”</p>
<p>There were suggestions of triumph, relief, gratitude in the
indefinable tone of these words. It engrossed the whole
attention of Ossipon to the detriment of mere literal
sense. He wondered what was up with her, why she had worked
herself into this state of wild excitement. He even began
to wonder whether the hidden causes of that Greenwich Park affair
did not lie deep in the unhappy circumstances of the
Verlocs’ married life. He went so far as to suspect
Mr Verloc of having selected that extraordinary manner of
committing suicide. By Jove! that would account for the
utter inanity and wrong-headedness of the thing. No
anarchist manifestation was required by the circumstances.
Quite the contrary; and Verloc was as well aware of that as any
other revolutionist of his standing. What an immense joke
if Verloc had simply made fools of the whole of Europe, of the
revolutionary world, of the police, of the press, and of the
cocksure Professor as well. Indeed, thought Ossipon, in
astonishment, it seemed almost certain that he did! Poor
beggar! It struck him as very possible that of that
household of two it wasn’t precisely the man who was the
devil.</p>
<p>Alexander Ossipon, nicknamed the Doctor, was naturally
inclined to think indulgently of his men friends. He eyed
Mrs Verloc hanging on his arm. Of his women friends he
thought in a specially practical way. Why Mrs Verloc should
exclaim at his knowledge of Mr Verloc’s death, which was no
guess at all, did not disturb him beyond measure. They
often talked like lunatics. But he was curious to know how
she had been informed. The papers could tell her nothing
beyond the mere fact: the man blown to pieces in Greenwich Park
not having been identified. It was inconceivable on any
theory that Verloc should have given her an inkling of his
intention—whatever it was. This problem interested
Comrade Ossipon immensely. He stopped short. They had
gone then along the three sides of Brett Place, and were near the
end of Brett Street again.</p>
<p>“How did you first come to hear of it?” he asked
in a tone he tried to render appropriate to the character of the
revelations which had been made to him by the woman at his
side.</p>
<p>She shook violently for a while before she answered in a
listless voice.</p>
<p>“From the police. A chief inspector came, Chief
Inspector Heat he said he was. He showed
me—”</p>
<p>Mrs Verloc choked. “Oh, Tom, they had to gather
him up with a shovel.”</p>
<p>Her breast heaved with dry sobs. In a moment Ossipon
found his tongue.</p>
<p>“The police! Do you mean to say the police came
already? That Chief Inspector Heat himself actually came to
tell you.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” she confirmed in the same listless
tone. “He came just like this. He came. I
didn’t know. He showed me a piece of overcoat,
and—just like that. Do you know this? he
says.”</p>
<p>“Heat! Heat! And what did he do?”</p>
<p>Mrs Verloc’s head dropped. “Nothing.
He did nothing. He went away. The police were on that
man’s side,” she murmured tragically.
“Another one came too.”</p>
<p>“Another—another inspector, do you mean?”
asked Ossipon, in great excitement, and very much in the tone of
a scared child.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. He came. He looked like
a foreigner. He may have been one of them Embassy
people.”</p>
<p>Comrade Ossipon nearly collapsed under this new shock.</p>
<p>“Embassy! Are you aware what you are saying?
What Embassy? What on earth do you mean by
Embassy?”</p>
<p>“It’s that place in Chesham Square. The
people he cursed so. I don’t know. What does it
matter!”</p>
<p>“And that fellow, what did he do or say to
you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t remember. . . . Nothing . . . . I
don’t care. Don’t ask me,” she pleaded in
a weary voice.</p>
<p>“All right. I won’t,” assented Ossipon
tenderly. And he meant it too, not because he was touched
by the pathos of the pleading voice, but because he felt himself
losing his footing in the depths of this tenebrous affair.
Police! Embassy! Phew! For fear of adventuring
his intelligence into ways where its natural lights might fail to
guide it safely he dismissed resolutely all suppositions,
surmises, and theories out of his mind. He had the woman
there, absolutely flinging herself at him, and that was the
principal consideration. But after what he had heard
nothing could astonish him any more. And when Mrs Verloc,
as if startled suddenly out of a dream of safety, began to urge
upon him wildly the necessity of an immediate flight on the
Continent, he did not exclaim in the least. He simply said
with unaffected regret that there was no train till the morning,
and stood looking thoughtfully at her face, veiled in black net,
in the light of a gas lamp veiled in a gauze of mist.</p>
<p>Near him, her black form merged in the night, like a figure
half chiselled out of a block of black stone. It was
impossible to say what she knew, how deep she was involved with
policemen and Embassies. But if she wanted to get away, it
was not for him to object. He was anxious to be off
himself. He felt that the business, the shop so strangely
familiar to chief inspectors and members of foreign Embassies,
was not the place for him. That must be dropped. But
there was the rest. These savings. The money!</p>
<p>“You must hide me till the morning somewhere,” she
said in a dismayed voice.</p>
<p>“Fact is, my dear, I can’t take you where I
live. I share the room with a friend.”</p>
<p>He was somewhat dismayed himself. In the morning the
blessed ’tecs will be out in all the stations, no
doubt. And if they once got hold of her, for one reason or
another she would be lost to him indeed.</p>
<p>“But you must. Don’t you care for me at
all—at all? What are you thinking of?”</p>
<p>She said this violently, but she let her clasped hands fall in
discouragement. There was a silence, while the mist fell,
and darkness reigned undisturbed over Brett Place. Not a
soul, not even the vagabond, lawless, and amorous soul of a cat,
came near the man and the woman facing each other.</p>
<p>“It would be possible perhaps to find a safe lodging
somewhere,” Ossipon spoke at last. “But the
truth is, my dear, I have not enough money to go and try
with—only a few pence. We revolutionists are not
rich.”</p>
<p>He had fifteen shillings in his pocket. He added:</p>
<p>“And there’s the journey before us,
too—first thing in the morning at that.”</p>
<p>She did not move, made no sound, and Comrade Ossipon’s
heart sank a little. Apparently she had no suggestion to
offer. Suddenly she clutched at her breast, as if she had
felt a sharp pain there.</p>
<p>“But I have,” she gasped. “I have the
money. I have enough money. Tom! Let us go from
here.”</p>
<p>“How much have you got?” he inquired, without
stirring to her tug; for he was a cautious man.</p>
<p>“I have the money, I tell you. All the
money.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean by it? All the money there was
in the bank, or what?” he asked incredulously, but ready
not to be surprised at anything in the way of luck.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes!” she said nervously. “All
there was. I’ve it all.”</p>
<p>“How on earth did you manage to get hold of it
already?” he marvelled.</p>
<p>“He gave it to me,” she murmured, suddenly subdued
and trembling. Comrade Ossipon put down his rising surprise
with a firm hand.</p>
<p>“Why, then—we are saved,” he uttered
slowly.</p>
<p>She leaned forward, and sank against his breast. He
welcomed her there. She had all the money. Her hat
was in the way of very marked effusion; her veil too. He
was adequate in his manifestations, but no more. She
received them without resistance and without abandonment,
passively, as if only half-sensible. She freed herself from
his lax embraces without difficulty.</p>
<p>“You will save me, Tom,” she broke out, recoiling,
but still keeping her hold on him by the two lapels of his damp
coat. “Save me. Hide me. Don’t let
them have me. You must kill me first. I
couldn’t do it myself—I couldn’t, I
couldn’t—not even for what I am afraid of.”</p>
<p>She was confoundedly bizarre, he thought. She was
beginning to inspire him with an indefinite uneasiness. He
said surlily, for he was busy with important thoughts:</p>
<p>“What the devil <i>are</i> you afraid of?”</p>
<p>“Haven’t you guessed what I was driven to
do!” cried the woman. Distracted by the vividness of
her dreadful apprehensions, her head ringing with forceful words,
that kept the horror of her position before her mind, she had
imagined her incoherence to be clearness itself. She had no
conscience of how little she had audibly said in the disjointed
phrases completed only in her thought. She had felt the
relief of a full confession, and she gave a special meaning to
every sentence spoken by Comrade Ossipon, whose knowledge did not
in the least resemble her own. “Haven’t you
guessed what I was driven to do!” Her voice
fell. “You needn’t be long in guessing then
what I am afraid of,” she continued, in a bitter and sombre
murmur. “I won’t have it. I
won’t. I won’t. I won’t. You
must promise to kill me first!” She shook the lapels
of his coat. “It must never be!”</p>
<p>He assured her curtly that no promises on his part were
necessary, but he took good care not to contradict her in set
terms, because he had had much to do with excited women, and he
was inclined in general to let his experience guide his conduct
in preference to applying his sagacity to each special
case. His sagacity in this case was busy in other
directions. Women’s words fell into water, but the
shortcomings of time-tables remained. The insular nature of
Great Britain obtruded itself upon his notice in an odious
form. “Might just as well be put under lock and key
every night,” he thought irritably, as nonplussed as though
he had a wall to scale with the woman on his back. Suddenly
he slapped his forehead. He had by dint of cudgelling his
brains just thought of the Southampton—St Malo
service. The boat left about midnight. There was a
train at 10.30. He became cheery and ready to act.</p>
<p>“From Waterloo. Plenty of time. We are all
right after all. . . . What’s the matter now? This
isn’t the way,” he protested.</p>
<p>Mrs Verloc, having hooked her arm into his, was trying to drag
him into Brett Street again.</p>
<p>“I’ve forgotten to shut the shop door as I went
out,” she whispered, terribly agitated.</p>
<p>The shop and all that was in it had ceased to interest Comrade
Ossipon. He knew how to limit his desires. He was on
the point of saying “What of that? Let it be,”
but he refrained. He disliked argument about trifles.
He even mended his pace considerably on the thought that she
might have left the money in the drawer. But his
willingness lagged behind her feverish impatience.</p>
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