<SPAN name="chap02"></SPAN>
<h3 align="center"> CHAPTER 2 </h3>
<p>After combating, for nearly a week, the feeling which impelled me to
revisit the place I had quitted under the circumstances already
detailed, I yielded to it at length; and determining that this time I
would present myself by the light of day, bent my steps thither early
in the morning.</p>
<p>I walked past the house, and took several turns in the street, with
that kind of hesitation which is natural to a man who is conscious that
the visit he is about to pay is unexpected, and may not be very
acceptable. However, as the door of the shop was shut, and it did not
appear likely that I should be recognized by those within, if I
continued merely to pass up and down before it, I soon conquered this
irresolution, and found myself in the Curiosity Dealer's warehouse.</p>
<p>The old man and another person were together in the back part, and
there seemed to have been high words between them, for their voices
which were raised to a very high pitch suddenly stopped on my entering,
and the old man advancing hastily towards me, said in a tremulous tone
that he was very glad I had come.</p>
<p>'You interrupted us at a critical moment,' said he, pointing to the man
whom I had found in company with him; 'this fellow will murder me one
of these days. He would have done so, long ago, if he had dared.'</p>
<p>'Bah! You would swear away my life if you could,' returned the other,
after bestowing a stare and a frown on me; 'we all know that!'</p>
<p>'I almost think I could,' cried the old man, turning feebly upon him.
'If oaths, or prayers, or words, could rid me of you, they should. I
would be quit of you, and would be relieved if you were dead.'</p>
<p>'I know it,' returned the other. 'I said so, didn't I? But neither
oaths, or prayers, nor words, WILL kill me, and therefore I live, and
mean to live.'</p>
<p>'And his mother died!' cried the old man, passionately clasping his
hands and looking upward; 'and this is Heaven's justice!'</p>
<p>The other stood lunging with his foot upon a chair, and regarded him
with a contemptuous sneer. He was a young man of one-and-twenty or
thereabouts; well made, and certainly handsome, though the expression
of his face was far from prepossessing, having in common with his
manner and even his dress, a dissipated, insolent air which repelled
one.</p>
<p>'Justice or no justice,' said the young fellow, 'here I am and here I
shall stop till such time as I think fit to go, unless you send for
assistance to put me out—which you won't do, I know. I tell you again
that I want to see my sister.'</p>
<p>'YOUR sister!' said the old man bitterly.</p>
<p>'Ah! You can't change the relationship,' returned the other. 'If you
could, you'd have done it long ago. I want to see my sister, that you
keep cooped up here, poisoning her mind with your sly secrets and
pretending an affection for her that you may work her to death, and add
a few scraped shillings every week to the money you can hardly count. I
want to see her; and I will.'</p>
<p>'Here's a moralist to talk of poisoned minds! Here's a generous spirit
to scorn scraped-up shillings!' cried the old man, turning from him to
me. 'A profligate, sir, who has forfeited every claim not only upon
those who have the misfortune to be of his blood, but upon society
which knows nothing of him but his misdeeds. A liar too,' he added, in
a lower voice as he drew closer to me, 'who knows how dear she is to
me, and seeks to wound me even there, because there is a stranger
nearby.'</p>
<p>'Strangers are nothing to me, grandfather,' said the young fellow
catching at the word, 'nor I to them, I hope. The best they can do, is
to keep an eye to their business and leave me to mind. There's a friend
of mine waiting outside, and as it seems that I may have to wait some
time, I'll call him in, with your leave.'</p>
<p>Saying this, he stepped to the door, and looking down the street
beckoned several times to some unseen person, who, to judge from the
air of impatience with which these signals were accompanied, required a
great quantity of persuasion to induce him to advance. At length there
sauntered up, on the opposite side of the way—with a bad pretense of
passing by accident—a figure conspicuous for its dirty smartness,
which after a great many frowns and jerks of the head, in resistance of
the invitation, ultimately crossed the road and was brought into the
shop.</p>
<p>'There. It's Dick Swiveller,' said the young fellow, pushing him in.
'Sit down, Swiveller.'</p>
<p>'But is the old min agreeable?' said Mr Swiveller in an undertone.</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller complied, and looking about him with a propitiatory smile,
observed that last week was a fine week for the ducks, and this week
was a fine week for the dust; he also observed that whilst standing by
the post at the street-corner, he had observed a pig with a straw in
his mouth issuing out of the tobacco-shop, from which appearance he
augured that another fine week for the ducks was approaching, and that
rain would certainly ensue. He furthermore took occasion to apologize
for any negligence that might be perceptible in his dress, on the
ground that last night he had had 'the sun very strong in his eyes'; by
which expression he was understood to convey to his hearers in the most
delicate manner possible, the information that he had been extremely
drunk.</p>
<p>'But what,' said Mr Swiveller with a sigh, 'what is the odds so long as
the fire of soul is kindled at the taper of conwiviality, and the wing
of friendship never moults a feather! What is the odds so long as the
spirit is expanded by means of rosy wine, and the present moment is the
least happiest of our existence!'</p>
<p>'You needn't act the chairman here,' said his friend, half aside.</p>
<p>'Fred!' cried Mr Swiveller, tapping his nose, 'a word to the wise is
sufficient for them—we may be good and happy without riches, Fred.
Say not another syllable. I know my cue; smart is the word. Only one
little whisper, Fred—is the old min friendly?'</p>
<p>'Never you mind,' replied his friend.</p>
<p>'Right again, quite right,' said Mr Swiveller, 'caution is the word,
and caution is the act.' with that, he winked as if in preservation of
some deep secret, and folding his arms and leaning back in his chair,
looked up at the ceiling with profound gravity.</p>
<p>It was perhaps not very unreasonable to suspect from what had already
passed, that Mr Swiveller was not quite recovered from the effects of
the powerful sunlight to which he had made allusion; but if no such
suspicion had been awakened by his speech, his wiry hair, dull eyes,
and sallow face would still have been strong witnesses against him. His
attire was not, as he had himself hinted, remarkable for the nicest
arrangement, but was in a state of disorder which strongly induced the
idea that he had gone to bed in it. It consisted of a brown body-coat
with a great many brass buttons up the front and only one behind, a
bright check neckerchief, a plaid waistcoat, soiled white trousers, and
a very limp hat, worn with the wrong side foremost, to hide a hole in
the brim. The breast of his coat was ornamented with an outside pocket
from which there peeped forth the cleanest end of a very large and very
ill-favoured handkerchief; his dirty wristbands were pulled on as far
as possible and ostentatiously folded back over his cuffs; he displayed
no gloves, and carried a yellow cane having at the top a bone hand with
the semblance of a ring on its little finger and a black ball in its
grasp. With all these personal advantages (to which may be added a
strong savour of tobacco-smoke, and a prevailing greasiness of
appearance) Mr Swiveller leant back in his chair with his eyes fixed on
the ceiling, and occasionally pitching his voice to the needful key,
obliged the company with a few bars of an intensely dismal air, and
then, in the middle of a note, relapsed into his former silence.</p>
<p>The old man sat himself down in a chair, and with folded hands, looked
sometimes at his grandson and sometimes at his strange companion, as if
he were utterly powerless and had no resource but to leave them to do
as they pleased. The young man reclined against a table at no great
distance from his friend, in apparent indifference to everything that
had passed; and I—who felt the difficulty of any interference,
notwithstanding that the old man had appealed to me, both by words and
looks—made the best feint I could of being occupied in examining some
of the goods that were disposed for sale, and paying very little
attention to a person before me.</p>
<p>The silence was not of long duration, for Mr Swiveller, after favouring
us with several melodious assurances that his heart was in the
Highlands, and that he wanted but his Arab steed as a preliminary to
the achievement of great feats of valour and loyalty, removed his eyes
from the ceiling and subsided into prose again.</p>
<p>'Fred,' said Mr Swiveller stopping short, as if the idea had suddenly
occurred to him, and speaking in the same audible whisper as before,
'is the old min friendly?'</p>
<p>'What does it matter?' returned his friend peevishly.</p>
<p>'No, but IS he?' said Dick.</p>
<p>'Yes, of course. What do I care whether he is or not?'</p>
<p>Emboldened as it seemed by this reply to enter into a more general
conversation, Mr Swiveller plainly laid himself out to captivate our
attention.</p>
<p>He began by remarking that soda-water, though a good thing in the
abstract, was apt to lie cold upon the stomach unless qualified with
ginger, or a small infusion of brandy, which latter article he held to
be preferable in all cases, saving for the one consideration of
expense. Nobody venturing to dispute these positions, he proceeded to
observe that the human hair was a great retainer of tobacco-smoke, and
that the young gentlemen of Westminster and Eton, after eating vast
quantities of apples to conceal any scent of cigars from their anxious
friends, were usually detected in consequence of their heads possessing
this remarkable property; when he concluded that if the Royal Society
would turn their attention to the circumstance, and endeavour to find
in the resources of science a means of preventing such untoward
revelations, they might indeed be looked upon as benefactors to
mankind. These opinions being equally incontrovertible with those he
had already pronounced, he went on to inform us that Jamaica rum,
though unquestionably an agreeable spirit of great richness and
flavour, had the drawback of remaining constantly present to the taste
next day; and nobody being venturous enough to argue this point either,
he increased in confidence and became yet more companionable and
communicative.</p>
<p>'It's a devil of a thing, gentlemen,' said Mr Swiveller, 'when
relations fall out and disagree. If the wing of friendship should never
moult a feather, the wing of relationship should never be clipped, but
be always expanded and serene. Why should a grandson and grandfather
peg away at each other with mutual wiolence when all might be bliss and
concord. Why not jine hands and forgit it?'</p>
<p>'Hold your tongue,' said his friend.</p>
<p>'Sir,' replied Mr Swiveller, 'don't you interrupt the chair.
Gentlemen, how does the case stand, upon the present occasion? Here is
a jolly old grandfather—I say it with the utmost respect—and here is
a wild, young grandson. The jolly old grandfather says to the wild
young grandson, 'I have brought you up and educated you, Fred; I have
put you in the way of getting on in life; you have bolted a little out
of course, as young fellows often do; and you shall never have another
chance, nor the ghost of half a one.' The wild young grandson makes
answer to this and says, 'You're as rich as rich can be; you have been
at no uncommon expense on my account, you're saving up piles of money
for my little sister that lives with you in a secret, stealthy,
hugger-muggering kind of way and with no manner of enjoyment—why can't
you stand a trifle for your grown-up relation?' The jolly old
grandfather unto this, retorts, not only that he declines to fork out
with that cheerful readiness which is always so agreeable and pleasant
in a gentleman of his time of life, but that he will bow up, and call
names, and make reflections whenever they meet. Then the plain question
is, an't it a pity that this state of things should continue, and how
much better would it be for the gentleman to hand over a reasonable
amount of tin, and make it all right and comfortable?'</p>
<p>Having delivered this oration with a great many waves and flourishes of
the hand, Mr Swiveller abruptly thrust the head of his cane into his
mouth as if to prevent himself from impairing the effect of his speech
by adding one other word.</p>
<p>'Why do you hunt and persecute me, God help me!' said the old man
turning to his grandson. 'Why do you bring your prolifigate companions
here? How often am I to tell you that my life is one of care and
self-denial, and that I am poor?'</p>
<p>'How often am I to tell you,' returned the other, looking coldly at
him, 'that I know better?'</p>
<p>'You have chosen your own path,' said the old man. 'Follow it. Leave
Nell and me to toil and work.'</p>
<p>'Nell will be a woman soon,' returned the other, 'and, bred in your
faith, she'll forget her brother unless he shows himself sometimes.'</p>
<p>'Take care,' said the old man with sparkling eyes, 'that she does not
forget you when you would have her memory keenest. Take care that the
day don't come when you walk barefoot in the streets, and she rides by
in a gay carriage of her own.'</p>
<p>'You mean when she has your money?' retorted the other. 'How like a
poor man he talks!'</p>
<p>'And yet,' said the old man dropping his voice and speaking like one
who thinks aloud, 'how poor we are, and what a life it is! The cause is
a young child's guiltless of all harm or wrong, but nothing goes well
with it! Hope and patience, hope and patience!'</p>
<p>These words were uttered in too low a tone to reach the ears of the
young men. Mr Swiveller appeared to think that they implied some mental
struggle consequent upon the powerful effect of his address, for he
poked his friend with his cane and whispered his conviction that he had
administered 'a clincher,' and that he expected a commission on the
profits. Discovering his mistake after a while, he appeared to grow
rather sleepy and discontented, and had more than once suggested the
propriety of an immediate departure, when the door opened, and the
child herself appeared.</p>
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