<h2><SPAN name="chap55"></SPAN>CHAPTER LV</h2>
<p class="letter">
I resolve to ingratiate myself with the Mother, and am favoured by
accident—the Precise Lady finds her husband, and quit the Coach—the
Captain is disappointed of his dinner—we arrive at Bath—I accompany
Miss Snapper to the Long-room, where she is attacked by beau Nash, and, turns
the Laugh against him—I make love to her, and receive a
check—Squire her to an Assembly, where I am blessed with a Sight of my
dear Narcissa, which discomposes me so much, that Miss Snapper, observing my
disorder, is at pains to discover the Cause—is piqued at the Occasion,
and, in our way home, pays me a sarcastic Compliment—I am met by Miss
Williams, who is the maid and Confidante of Narcissa—she acquaints me
with her Lady’s regard for me while under the disguise of a Servant, and
describes the Transports of Narcissa on seeing me at the Assembly, in the
Character of a Gentleman—I am surprised with an Account of her
Aunt’s Marriage, and make an Appointment to meet Miss Williams the next
day</p>
<p>During this unsocial interval, my pride and interest maintained a severe
conflict on the subject of Miss Snapper, whom the one represented as unworthy
of notice, and the other proposed as the object of my whole attention: the
advantages and disadvantages of such a match were opposed to one another by my
imagination; and, at length, my judgment gave it so much in favour of the
first, that I resolved to prosecute my scheme with all the address in my power.
I thought I perceived some concern in her countenance, occasioned by my
silence, which she, no doubt, imputed to my disgust at her mother’s
behaviour; and, as I believed the old woman could not fail of ascribing my
muteness to the same motive, I determined to continue that sullen conduct
towards her, and fall upon some other method of manifesting my esteem for the
daughter, nor was it difficult for me to make her acquainted with my sentiments
by the expression of my looks, which I modelled into the character of humanity
and love; and which were answered by her with all the sympathy and approbation
I could desire. But when I began to consider, that, without further
opportunities of improving my success, all the progress I had hitherto made
would not much avail, and that such opportunities could not be enjoyed without
the mother’s permission, I concluded it would be requisite to vanquish
her coldness and suspicion by my assiduities and respectful behaviour on the
road; and she would, in all likelihood, invite me to visit her at Bath, where I
did not fear of being able to cultivate her acquaintance as much as would be
necessary to the accomplishment of my purpose. And indeed accident furnished me
with an opportunity of obliging her so much that she could not, with any
appearance of good manners, forbear to gratify my inclination.</p>
<p>When we arrived at our dining-place, we found all the eatables at the inn
bespoke by a certain nobleman, who had got the start of us and, in all
likelihood, my mistress and her mother must have dined with Duke Humphrey, had
I not exerted myself in their behalf, and bribed the landlord with a glass of
wine to curtail his lordship’s entertainment of a couple of fowls and
some bacon, which I sent with my compliments to the ladies. They accepted my
treat with a great many thanks, and desired I would favour them with my company
at dinner, where I amused the old gentlewoman so successfully, by maintaining a
seemingly disinterested ease in the midst of my civility, that she signified a
desire of being better acquainted, and hoped I would be so kind as to see her
sometimes at Bath. While I enjoyed myself in this manner, the precise lady had
the good fortune to meet with her husband, who was no other than gentleman, or,
in other words, valet-de-chambre, to the very nobleman whose coach stood at the
door. Proud of the interest she had in the house, she affected to show her
power by introducing the captain to her spouse as a person who had treated her
with great civility upon which he was invited to a share of their dinner; while
the poor lawyer, finding himself utterly abandoned, made application to me, and
was through my intercession admitted into our company. Having satisfied our
appetites, and made ourselves merry at the expense of the person of honour, the
civil captain, and complaisant husband, I did myself the pleasure of
discharging the bill by stealth, for which I received a great many apologies
and acknowledgments from my guests, and we re-embarked at the first warning.
The officer was obliged, at last, to appease his hunger with a luncheon of
bread and cheese, and a pint bottle of brandy, which he dispatched in the
coach, cursing the inappetence of his lordship, who had ordered dinner to be
put back a whole hour.</p>
<p>Nothing remarkable happened during the remaining part of our journey, which was
finished next day, when I waited on the ladies to the house of a relation, in
which they intended to lodge, and, passing that night at the inn, took lodgings
in the morning for myself.</p>
<p>The forenoon was spent in visiting everything that was worth seeing in the
place, in company with a gentleman to whom Banter had given me a letter of
introduction; and in the afternoon I waited on the ladies, and found Miss a
good deal indisposed with the fatigue of their journey. As they foresaw they
should have occasion for a male acquaintance to squire them at all public
places, I was received with great cordiality, and had the mother’s
permission to conduct them next day to the Long Room, which we no sooner
entered, than the eyes of everybody present were turned upon us, and, when we
had suffered the martyrdom of their looks for some time, a whisper circulated
at our expense, which was accompanied with many contemptuous smiles and
tittering observations, to my utter shame and confusion. I did not so much
conduct as follow my charge to a place where she seated her mother and herself
with astonishing composure notwithstanding the unmannerly behaviour of the
whole company, which seemed to be assumed merely to put her out of countenance.
The celebrated Mr. Nash, who commonly attends in this place, as master of the
ceremonies, perceiving the disposition of the assembly, took upon himself the
task of gratifying their ill-nature further, by exposing my mistress to the
edge of his wit. With this view he approached us, with many bows and grimaces,
and, after having welcomed Miss Snapper to the place, asked her in the hearing
of all present, if she could inform him of the name of Tobit’s dog. Miss
was so much incensed at his insolence, that I should certainly have kicked him
where he stood without ceremony, had not the young lady prevented the effects
of my indignation, by replying with the utmost vivacity, “His name was
Nash, and an impudent dog he was.” This repartee so unexpected and just,
raised such a universal laugh at the aggressor, that all his assurance was
insufficient to support him under their derision; so that, after he had
endeavoured to compose himself by taking snuff and forcing a smile, he was
obliged to sneak off in a ludicrous attitude, while my Dulcinea was applauded
to the skies for the brilliancy of her wit, and her acquaintance immediately
courted by the best people of both sexes in the room.</p>
<p>This event, with which I was indefinitely pleased at first, did not fail of
alarming me, upon further reflection, when I considered, that the more she was
caressed by persons of distinction, the more her pride would be inflamed, and
consequently, the obstacles to my success multiplied and enlarged. Nor were my
presaging fears untrue. That very night I perceived her a little intoxicated
with the incense she had received, and, though, she still behaved with a
particular civility to me, I foresaw, that, as soon as her fortune should be
known, she would be surrounded with a swarm of admirers, some of whom might
possibly, by excelling me on point of wealth, or in the arts of flattery and
scandal, supplant me in her esteem, and find means to make the mother of his
party. I resolved therefore to lose no time, and, being invited to spend the
evening with them, found an opportunity, in spite of the old
gentlewoman’s vigilance, to explain the meaning of my glances in the
coach, by paying homage to her wit, and professing myself enamoured of her
person. She blushed at my declaration and in a favourable manner disapproved of
the liberty I had taken, putting me in mind of our being strangers to each
other, and desiring I would not be the means of interrupting our acquaintance,
by any such unseasonable strokes of gallantry for the future. My ardour was
effectually checked by this reprimand, which was, however, delivered in a
gentle manner, that I had no cause to be disobliged; and the arrival of her
mother relieved me from a dilemma in which I should not have known how to
demean myself a minute longer. Neither could I resume the easiness of carriage
with which I came in; my mistress acted on the reserve, and the conversation
beginning to flag, the old lady introduced her kinswoman of the house, and
proposed a hand at whist.</p>
<p>While we amused ourselves at this diversion, I understood from the gentlewoman,
that there was to be an assembly next night at which I begged to have the
honour of dancing with Miss. She thanked me for the favour I intended her,
assured me she never did dance, but signified a desire of seeing the company,
when I offered my service, which was accepted, not a little proud of being
exempted from appearing with her in a situation, that, notwithstanding my
profession to the contrary, was not at all agreeable to my inclination.</p>
<p>Having supped, and continued the game, till such time as the successive yawns
of the mother warned me to be gone, I took my leave, and went home, where I
made Strap very happy with an account of my progress. Next day I put on my
gayest apparel, and went to drink tea at Mrs. Snapper’s, according to
appointment, when I found, to my inexpressible satisfaction, that she was laid
up with the toothache, and that Miss was to be intrusted to my care.
Accordingly, we set out for the ball-room pretty early in the evening, and took
possession of a commodious place, where we had not sat longer than a quarter of
an hour, when a gentleman, dressed in a green frock, came in, leading a young
lady, whom I immediately discovered to be the adorable Narcissa! Good heaven!
what were the thrillings of my soul at that instant! my reflection was
overwhelmed with a torrent of agitation! my heart throbbed with surprising
violence! a sudden mist overspread my eyes, my ears were invaded with a
dreadful sound! I panted for want of breath, and, in short, was for some
moments entranced! This first tumult subsiding, a crowd of flattering ideas
rushed upon my imagination. Everything, that was soft, sensible, and engaging,
in the character of that dear creature recurred to my remembrance, and every
favourable circumstance of my own qualifications appeared in all the
aggravation of self-conceit, to heighten my expectation! Neither was this
transport of long duration. The dread of her being already disposed of
intervened, and overcast my enchanting reverie! My presaging apprehension
represented her encircled in the arms of some happy rival, and in consequence
for ever lost to me. I was stung with this suggestion, and, believing the
person who conducted her to be the husband of this amiable young lady, already
devoted him to my fury, and stood up to mark him for my vengeance, when I
recollected, to my unspeakable joy, her brother the fox-hunter, in the person
of her gallant.</p>
<p>Undeceived so much to my satisfaction in this particular, I gazed in a frenzy
of delight on the irresistible charms of his sister, who no sooner
distinguished me in the crowd, than her evident confusion afforded a happy omen
to my flame. At sight of me she started, the roses instantly vanished from her
polished cheeks, and returned in a moment with a double glow, that overspread
her lovely neck, while her enchanting bosom heaved with strong emotion. I
hailed these favourable symptoms, and, lying in wait for her looks, did homage
with my eyes. She seemed to approve my declaration, by the complacency of her
aspect; and I was so transported with the discovery, that more than once I was
on the point of making up to her, to disclose the throbbings of my heart in
person, had not that profound veneration, which her presence always inspired,
restrained the unseasonable impulse. All my powers being engrossed in this
manner, it may easily be imagined how ill I entertained Miss Snapper on whom I
could not now turn my eyes, without making comparisons very little to her
advantage. It was not even in my power to return distinct answers to the
questions she asked from time to time, so that she could not help observing my
absence of mind; and having a turn for observation, watched my glances, and,
tracing them to the divine object, discovered the cause of my disorder. That
she might, however, be convinced of the truth of her conjecture, she began to
interrogate me with regard to Narcissa, and, notwithstanding all my endeavours
to disguise my sentiments, perceived my attachment by my confusion: upon which,
she assumed a stateliness of behaviour, and sat silent during the remaining
part of the entertainment. At any other time, her suspicion would have alarmed
me: but now I was elevated by my passion above every other consideration. The
mistress of my soul having retired with her brother, I discovered so much
uneasiness at my situation, that Miss Snapper proposed to go home; and, while I
conducted her to a chair, told me she had too great a regard for me to keep me
any longer in torment. I feigned ignorance of her meaning, and having seen her
safely at her lodgings, took my leave, and went home in an ecstasy, where I
disclosed everything that had happened to my confidant and humble servant,
Strap, who did not relish the accident so well as I expected; and observed,
that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. “But, however,”
said he, “you know best—you know best.” Next day, as, I went
to the Pump Room, in hopes of seeing or hearing some tidings of my fair
enslaver, I was met by a gentlewoman, who, having looked hard at me, cried,
“O Christ, Mr. Random!” Surprised at this exclamation, I examined
the countenance of the person who spoke, and immediately recognised my old
sweetheart and fellow sufferer, Miss Williams.</p>
<p>I was mightily pleased to find this unfortunate woman under such a decent
appearance, professed my joy at seeing her so well, and desired to know where I
should have the pleasure of her conversation. She was as heartily rejoiced at
the apparent easiness of my fortune, and gave me to know that she, as yet, had
no habitation that she could properly call her own; but would wait on me at any
place I should please to appoint. Understanding that she was unengaged for the
present, I showed her the way to my lodgings, where, after a very affectionate
salutation, she informed me of her being very happy in the service of a young
lady to whom she was recommended by a former mistress deceased, into whose
family she had recommended herself by the honest deceit she had concerted,
while she lived with me in the garret at London. She then expressed a vehement
desire to be acquainted with the vicissitudes of my life since we parted, and
excused her curiosity on account of the concern she had for my interest. I
forthwith gratified her request, and, when I described my situation in Sussex,
perceived her to attend to my story with particular eagerness. She interrupted
me, when I had finished that period, with, “Good God! is it
possible?” and then begged I would be so good as to continue my relation;
which I did as briefly as I could, burning with impatience to know the cause of
her surprise, about which I had already formed a very interesting conjecture.</p>
<p>When I had brought my adventures down to the present day, who seemed very much
affected with the different circumstances of my fortune; and saying, with a
smile, she believed my distresses were now at a period, proceeded to inform me
that the lady whom she served was no other than the charming Narcissa, who had
honoured her with her confidence for some time; in consequence of which trust,
she had often repeated the story of John Brown with great admiration and
regard; that she loved to dwell upon the particulars of his character, and did
not scruple to own a tender approbation of his flame. I became delirious at
this piece of intelligence, strained Miss Williams in my embrace, called her
the angel of my happiness, and acted such extravagances, that she might have
been convinced of my sincerity, had she not been satisfied of my honour before.
As soon as was in condition to yield attention, she described the present
situation of her mistress, who had no sooner reached her lodgings the night
before, than she closeted her, and in a rapture of joy gave her to know that
she had seen me at the ball, where I appeared in the character which she always
thought my due, with such advantage of transformation that, unless my image had
been engraven on her heart, it would have been impossible to know me for the
person who had worn her aunt’s livery; that by the language of my eyes,
she was assured of the continuance of my passion for her, and consequently of
my being unengaged to any other; and that, though she did not doubt I would
speedily fall upon some method of being introduced, she was so impatient to
hear of me, that she (Miss Williams) had been sent abroad this very morning, on
purpose to learn the name and character I at present bore. My bosom had been
hitherto a stranger to such a flood of joy as now rushed upon it; my faculties
were overborne by the tide; it was some time before I could open my mouth, and
much longer ere I could utter a coherent sentence. At length, I fervently
requested her to lead me immediately to the object of my adoration; but she
resisted my importunity, and explained the danger of such premature conduct.
“How favourable soever,” said she, “my lady’s
inclination towards you may be, you may depend upon it, she will not commit the
smallest trespass on decorum, either in disclosing her own, or in receiving a
declaration of your passion: and, although the great veneration I have for you
has prompted me to reveal what she communicated to me in confidence, I know so
well the severity of her sentiments with respect to the punctilios of her sex
that, if she should learn the least surmise of it, she would not only dismiss
me as a wretch unworthy of her benevolence, but also for ever shun the efforts
of your love.” I assented to the justness of her remonstrance, and
desired she would assist me with her advice and direction: upon which it was
concerted between us, that for the present I should be contented with her
telling Narcissa that, in the course of her inquiries, she could only learn my
name: and that, if, in a day or two, I could fall upon no other method of being
introduced to her mistress, she would deliver a letter from me, on pretence of
consulting her happiness: and say that I met her in the streets, and bribed her
to this piece of service. Matters being thus adjusted, I kept my old
acquaintance to breakfast, and learned from her conversation, that my rival Sir
Timothy had drunk himself into an apoplexy, of which he died five months ago;
that the savage was still unmarried and that his aunt had been seized with a
whim which he little expected, and chosen the schoolmaster of the parish for
her lord and husband: but matrimony not agreeing with her constitution she had
been hectic and dropsical a good while, and was now at Bath, in order to drink
the waters for the recovery of her health; that her niece had accompanied her
thither at her request, and attended her with the same affection as before,
notwithstanding the mistake she had committed: and that the nephew, who had
been exasperated at the loss of her fortune, did not give his attendance out of
good will, but purely to have an eye on his sister, lest she should likewise
throw herself away without his consent or approbation. Having enjoyed ourselves
in this manner, and made an assignation to meet next day at a certain place,
Miss Williams took her leave; and Strap’s looks being very inquisitive
about the nature of the communication subsisting between us, I made him
acquainted with the whole affair, to his great astonishment and satisfaction.</p>
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