<h2><SPAN name="chap19"></SPAN>CHAPTER XIX</h2>
<p class="letter">
The character of Mr. Lavement, his wife and daughter—some anecdotes of
the family—the mother and daughter rivals—I am guilty of a mistake
that gives me present satisfaction, but is attended with troublesome
consequences</p>
<p>Next day, while I was at work in the shop, a bouncing damsel well dressed came
on pretence of finding a vial for some use or other; and taking an opportunity,
when she thought I did not mind her, of observing me narrowly, went away with a
silent look of disdain. I easily guessed her sentiments, and my pride took the
resolution of entertaining the same indifference and neglect towards her. At
dinner the maids, with whom I dined in the kitchen, gave me to understand that
this was my master’s only daughter, who would have a very handsome
fortune, on account of which, and her beauty, a great many young gentlemen made
their addresses to her—that she had been twice on the brink of marriage,
but disappointed by the stinginess of her father, who refused to part with a
shilling to promote the match; for which reason the young lady did not behave
to her father with all the filial veneration that might be expected. In
particular she harboured the most perfect hatred for his countrymen; in which
disposition she resembled her mother, who was an English-woman; and, by the
hints they dropped, I learned the gray mare was the better horse—that she
was a matron of a high spirit, which was often manifested at the expense of her
dependents; that she loved diversions, and looked upon miss as her rival in all
parties—which was indeed the true cause of her disappointments; for had
the mother been hearty in her interest, the father would not have ventured to
refuse her demands. Over and above this intelligence, I, of myself, soon made
more discoveries. Mr. Lavement’s significant grins at his wife, while she
looked another way, convinced me that he was not at all content with his lot;
and his behaviour in presence of the captain made me believe his chief torment
was jealousy. As for my own part, I was considered in no other light than that
of a menial servant, and had been already six days in the house without being
honoured with one word from either mother or daughter; the latter (as I
understood from the maids) having at table one day expressed some surprise that
her papa should entertain such an awkward mean-looking journeyman. I was
nettled at this piece of information, and next Sunday (it being my turn to take
my diversion) dressed myself in my new clothes to the greatest advantage, and,
vanity apart, made no contemptible figure.</p>
<p>After having spent most part of the day in company with Strap and some of his
acquaintance, I came home in the afternoon, and was let in by miss, who not
knowing me, dropped a low curtsey as I advanced, which I returned with a
profound bow, and shut the door. By the time I had turned about, she had
perceived her mistake, and changed colour, but did not withdraw. The passage
being narrow, I could not get away without jolting her; so I was forced to
remain where I was with my eyes fixed to the ground, and my face glowing with
blushes. At length, her vanity coming to her assistance, she went away
tittering, and I could hear her pronounce the word ‘creature!’ From
this day forward, she came into the shop fifty times, every day upon various
pretences, and put in practice so many ridiculous airs, that I could easily
perceive her opinion of me was changed, and that she did not think me
altogether an unworthy conquest. But my heart was so steeled against her charms
by pride and resentment, which were two chief ingredients in my disposition,
that I remained insensible to all her arts; and notwithstanding some advances
she made, could not be prevailed upon to yield her the least attention. This
neglect soon banished all the favourable impressions she felt for me, and the
rage of a slighted woman took place in her heart; this she manifested not only
in all the suggestions her malice could invent to my prejudice with her father,
but also in procuring for me such servile employments as she hoped would
sufficiently humble my spirit. One day in particular, she ordered me to brush
my master’s coat; but I refusing, a smart dialogue ensued, which ended in
her bursting into tears of rage; when her mother interposing, and examining
into the merits of the cause, determined it in my favour: and this good office
I owed not to any esteem or consideration she had for me, but solely to the
desire of mortifying her daughter, who on this occasion observed, that let
people be never so much in the right, there were some folks who would never do
them justice, but, to be sure, they had their reasons for it, which some people
were ignorant of, although they despised their little arts. This insinuation of
some people and some folks put me upon observing the behaviour of my mistress
more narrowly for the future: and it was not long before I had reason to
believe that she looked upon her daughter as a rival in the affections of
Captain O’Donnell, who lodged in the house.</p>
<p>In the meantime, my industry and knowledge gained me the goodwill of my master,
who would often say in French, “Mardy! c’est un bon garçon.”
He had a great deal of business; but he was mostly employed among his fellow
refugees, his profits were small. However, his expense for medicines was not
great; for he was the most expert man at a succedaneum of any apothecary in
London, so that I have been sometimes amazed to see him, without the least
hesitation, make up a physician’s prescription, though he had not in his
shop one medicine mentioned in it. Oyster-shells he could convert into
crab’s eyes; common oil into oil of sweet almonds; syrup of sugar into
balsamic syrup; Thames water into aqua cinnamoni; and a hundred more costly
preparations were produced in an instant, from the cheapest and coarsest drugs
of the materia medica: and when any common thing was ordered for a patient, he
always took care to disguise it in colour or taste, or both, in such a manner
that it could not possibly be known; for which purpose cochineal and oil of
cloves were of great service. Mr. Lavement had attempted more than once to
introduce a vegetable diet into his family, by launching out into the praise of
roots and greens, and decrying the use of flesh, both as a physician and
philosopher; but all his rhetoric could not make one proselyte to his opinion,
and even the wife of his bosom declared against the proposal.</p>
<p>One afternoon, when her husband was abroad, and his daughter gone to visit,
this lady ordered me to call a hackney-coach, in which she and the captain
drove towards Covent Garden. Miss came home in the evening, and, supping at her
usual hour, went to bed. About eleven o’clock my master entered, and
asked if his wife was gone to sleep: upon which I told him, my mistress went
out in the afternoon, and was not yet returned. This was like a clap of thunder
to the poor apothecary, who starting back, cried, “Mort de ma vie! vat
you tell a me? My vife not at home!” At that instant a patient’s
servant arrived with a prescription for a draught, which my master taking, went
into the shop to make it up with his own hand. While he rubbed the ingredients
in a glass mortar, he inquired of me, whether or no his wife went out alone;
and no sooner heard that she was in company with the captain, than with one
blow he split the mortar into a thousand pieces, and grinning like the head of
a bass viol, exclaimed, “Ah, traitresse!” It would have been
impossible for me to have preserved my gravity a minute longer, when I was
happily relieved by a rap at the door, which I opened, and perceived my
mistress coming out of the coach. She flounced immediately into the shop, and
addressed her husband thus: “I suppose you thought I was lost, my dear.
Captain O’Donnell has been so good as to treat me with a play.” The
reply, it may be supposed, was anything but courteous but the captain, who had
been all the time at the door discharging the coach, entered, and Mr. Lavement,
changing his tone, saluted him with all the usual politesse of a Frenchman.</p>
<p>Shortly after this event, by the knowledge which I acquired of the family
secrets, my life became much more agreeable; and as I every day improved in my
knowledge of the town I shook off my awkward air by degrees, and acquired the
character of a polite journeyman apothecary.</p>
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