<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></SPAN>CHAPTER I</h2>
<h3>NEW YEAR'S EVE</h3>
<p>If the snow had come down again or the weather been colder, or wetter,
or other than it was....</p>
<p>If one of the three men had been more thirsty, or the other more
insistent....</p>
<p>If it had been any other day of the year, or any other hour of any other
day....</p>
<p>If the three philosophers had taken their walk abroad in any other
portion of the city of Haarlem....</p>
<p>If....</p>
<p>Nay! but there's no end to the Ifs which I might adduce in order to
prove to you beyond a doubt that but for an extraordinary conglomeration
of minor circumstances, the events which I am about to relate neither
would nor could ever have taken place.</p>
<p>For indeed you must admit that had the snow come down again or the
weather been colder, or wetter, the three philosophers would mayhap all
have felt that priceless thirst and desire for comfort which the
interior of a well-administered tavern doth so marvellously assuage. And
had it been any other day of the year or any other hour of that same
last day of the year 1623, those three philosophers would never have
thought of whiling away the penultimate hour of the dying year by hanging
round the Grootemarkt in order to see the respectable mynheer burghers
and the mevrouws their wives, filing into the cathedral in a sober and
orderly procession, with large silver-clasped Bibles under their arms,
and that air of satisfied unctuousness upon their faces which is best
suited to the solemn occasion of watch-night service, and the desire to
put oneself right with Heaven before commencing a New Year of commercial
and industrial activity.</p>
<p>And had those three philosophers not felt any desire to watch this same
orderly procession they would probably have taken their walk abroad in
another portion of the city from whence....</p>
<p>But now I am anticipating.</p>
<p>Events crowded in so thickly and so fast, during the last hour of the
departing year, and the first of the newly-born one, that it were best
mayhap to proceed with their relation in the order in which they
occurred.</p>
<p>For look you, the links of a mighty chain had their origin on the steps
of the Stadhuis, for it is at the foot of these that three men were
standing precisely at the moment when the bell of the cathedral struck
the penultimate hour of the last day of the year 1623.</p>
<p>Mynheer van der Meer, Burgomaster of Haarlem, was coming down those same
steps in the company of Mynheer van Zilcken, Mynheer Beresteyn and other
worthy gentlemen, all members of the town council and all noted for
their fine collections of rare tulips, the finest in the whole of the
province of Holland.</p>
<p>There was great rivalry between Mynheer van der Meer, Mynheer van
Zilcken and Mynheer Beresteyn on the subject of their tulip bulbs, on
which they expended thousands of florins every year. Some people held
that the Burgomaster had exhibited finer specimens of "Semper Augustus"
than any horticulturist in the land, while others thought that the
"Schwarzer Kato" shown by Mynheer Beresteyn had been absolutely without
a rival.</p>
<p>And as this group of noble councillors descended the steps of the
Stadhuis, preparatory to joining their wives at home and thence
escorting them to the watch-night service at the cathedral, their talk
was of tulips and of tulip bulbs, of the specimens which they possessed
and the prices which they had paid for these.</p>
<p>"Fourteen thousand florins did I pay for my 'Schwarzer Kato,'" said
Mynheer Beresteyn complacently, "and now I would not sell it for twenty
thousand."</p>
<p>"There's a man up at Overveen who has a new hybrid now, a sport of
'Schone Juffrouw'—the bulb has matured to perfection, he is putting it
up for auction next week," said Mynheer van Zilcken.</p>
<p>"It will fetch in the open market sixteen thousand at least," commented
Mynheer van der Meer sententiously.</p>
<p>"I would give that for it and more," rejoined the other, "if it is as
perfect as the man declares it to be."</p>
<p>"Too late," now interposed Mynheer Beresteyn with a curt laugh, "I
purchased the bulb from the man at Overveen this afternoon. He did not
exaggerate its merits. I never saw a finer bulb."</p>
<p>"You bought it?" exclaimed the Burgomaster in tones that were anything
but friendly toward his fellow councillor.</p>
<p>"This very afternoon," replied the other. "I have it in the inner pocket
of my doublet at this moment."</p>
<p>And he pressed his hand to his side, making sure that the precious bulb
still reposed next to his heart.</p>
<p>"I gave the lout fifteen thousand florins for it," he added airily, "he
was glad not to take the risks of an auction, and I equally glad to
steal a march on my friends."</p>
<p>The three men, who were leaning up against the wall of the Stadhuis, and
who had overheard this conversation, declared subsequently that they
learned then and there an entirely new and absolutely comprehensive
string of oaths, the sound of which they had never even known of before,
from the two solemn and sober town-councillors who found themselves
baulked of a coveted prize. But this I do not altogether believe; for
the three eavesdroppers had already forgotten more about swearing than
all the burghers of Haarlem put together had ever known.</p>
<p>In the meantime the town councillors had reached the foot of the steps:
here they parted company and there was a marked coldness in the manner
of some of them toward Mynheer Beresteyn, who still pressed his hand
against his doublet, in the inner pocket of which reposed a bit of
dormant vegetation for which he had that same afternoon paid no less a
sum than fifteen thousand florins.</p>
<p>"There goes a lucky devil," said a mocking voice in tones wherein
ripples of laughter struggled for ever for mastery. It came from one of
the three men who had listened to the conversation between the
town-councillors on the subject of tulips and of tulip bulbs.</p>
<p>"To think," he continued, "that I have never even seen as much
as fifteen thousand florins all at once. By St. Bavon himself do
I swear that for the mere handling of so much money I would be
capable of the most heroic deeds ... such as killing my worst
enemy ... or ... or ... knocking that obese and self-complacent
councillor in the stomach."</p>
<p>"Say but the word, good Diogenes," said a gruff voice in response, "the
lucky devil ye speak of need not remain long in possession of that bulb.
He hath name Beresteyn.... I think I know whereabouts he lives ... the
hour is late ... the fog fairly dense in the narrow streets of the
city ... say but the word...."</p>
<p>"There is an honest man I wot of in Amsterdam," broke in a third voice,
one which was curiously high-pitched and dulcet in its tones, "an honest
dealer of Judaic faith, who would gladly give a couple of thousand for
the bulb and ask no impertinent questions."</p>
<p>"Say but the word, Diogenes ..." reiterated the gruff voice solemnly.</p>
<p>"And the bulb is ours," concluded the third speaker in his quaint
high-pitched voice.</p>
<p>"And three philosophers will begin the New Year with more money in their
wallets than they would know what to do with," said he of the
laughter-filled voice. "'Tis a sound scheme, O Pythagoras, and one that
under certain circumstances would certainly commend itself to me. But
just now...."</p>
<p>"Well?" queried the two voices—the gruff and the
high-pitched—simultaneously, like a bassoon and a flute in harmony,
"just now what?"</p>
<p>"Just now, worthy Socrates and wise Pythagoras, I have three whole
florins in my wallet, and my most pressing creditor died a month
ago—shot by a Spanish arquebuse at the storming of Breda—he fell like
a hero—God rest his soul! But as to me I can afford a little while—at
any rate for to-night—to act like a gentleman rather than a common
thief."</p>
<p>"Bah!" came in muffled and gruff tones of disgust, "you might lend me
those three florins—'twere the act of a gentleman...."</p>
<p>"An act moreover which would effectually free me from further scruples,
eh?" laughed the other gaily.</p>
<p>"The place is dull," interposed the flute-like tones, "'twill be duller
still if unworthy scruples do cause us to act like gentlemen."</p>
<p>"Why! 'tis the very novelty of the game that will save our lives from
dullness," said Diogenes lightly, "just let us pretend to be gentlemen
for this one night. I assure you that good philosophers though ye both
are, you will find zest in the entertainment."</p>
<p>It is doubtful whether this form of argument would have appealed to the
two philosophers in question. The point was never settled, for at that
precise moment Chance took it on herself to forge the second link in
that remarkable chain of events which I have made it my duty to relate.</p>
<p>From across the Grootemarkt there, where stands the cathedral backed by
a network of narrow streets, there came a series of ear-piercing
shrieks, accompanied by threatening cries and occasional outbursts of
rough, mocking laughter.</p>
<p>"A row," said Socrates laconically.</p>
<p>"A fight," suggested Pythagoras.</p>
<p>Diogenes said nothing. He was already half-way across the Markt. The
others followed him as closely as they could. His figure which was
unusually tall and broad loomed weirdly out of the darkness and out of
the fog ahead of them, and his voice with that perpetual undertone of
merriment rippling through it, called to them from time to time.</p>
<p>Now he stopped, waiting for his companions. The ear-piercing shrieks,
the screams and mocking laughter came more distinctly to their ears, and
from the several bye-streets that gave on the Market Place, people came
hurrying along, attracted by the noise.</p>
<p>"Let us go round behind the Fleischmarkt," said Diogenes, as soon as his
two friends had come within ear-shot of him, "and reach the rear of the
cathedral that way. Unless I am greatly mistaken the seat of yonder
quarrel is by a small postern gate which I spied awhile ago at the
corner of Dam Straat and where methinks I saw a number of men and women
furtively gaining admittance: they looked uncommonly like Papists and
the postern gate not unlike a Romanist chapel door."</p>
<p>"Then there undoubtedly will be a row," said Socrates dryly.</p>
<p>"And we are no longer likely to find the place dull," concluded
Pythagoras in a flute-like voice.</p>
<p>And the three men pulling their plumed hats well over their eyes, turned
off without hesitation in the wake of their leader. They had by tacit
understanding unsheathed their swords and were carrying them under the
folds of their mantles. They walked in single file, for the street was
very narrow, the gabled roofs almost meeting overhead at their apex,
their firm footsteps made no sound on the thick carpet of snow. The
street was quite deserted and the confused tumult in the Dam Straat only
came now as a faint and distant echo.</p>
<p>Thus walking with rapid strides the three men soon found themselves once
more close to the cathedral: it loomed out of the fog on their left and
the cries and the laughter on ahead sounded once more clear and shrill.</p>
<p>The words "for the love of Christ!" could be easily distinguished;
uttered pleadingly at intervals and by a woman's voice they sounded
ominous, more especially as they were invariably followed by cries of
"Spaniards! Spies! Papists!" and a renewal of loud and ribald laughter.</p>
<p>The leader of the little party had paused once more, his long legs
evidently carried him away faster than he intended: now he turned to his
friends and pointed with his hand and sword on ahead.</p>
<p>"Now, wise Pythagoras," he said, "wilt thou not have enjoyment and to
spare this night? Thou didst shower curses on this fog-ridden country,
and call it insufferably dull. Lo! what a pleasing picture doth present
itself to our gaze."</p>
<p>Whether the picture was pleasing or not depended entirely from the point
of view of spectator or participant. Certes it was animated and moving
and picturesque; and as three pairs of eyes beneath three broad-brimmed
hats took in its several details, three muffled figures uttered three
simultaneous gurgles of anticipated pleasure.</p>
<p>In the fog that hung thickly in the narrow street it was at first
difficult to distinguish exactly what was going on. Certain it is that a
fairly dense crowd, which swelled visibly every moment as idlers joined
in from many sides, had congregated at the corner of Dam Straat, there
where a couple of resin torches fixed in iron brackets against a tall
stuccoed wall, shed a flickering and elusive light on the forms and
faces of a group of men in the forefront of the throng.</p>
<p>The faces thus exposed to view appeared flushed and heated—either with
wine or ebullient temper—whilst the upraised arms, the clenched fists
and brandished staves showed a rampant desire to do mischief.</p>
<p>There was a low postern gate in the wall just below the resin torches.
The gate was open and in the darkness beyond vague, moving forms could
be seen huddled together in what looked like a narrow, unlighted
passage. It was from this huddled mass of humanity that the wails and
calls for divine protection proceeded, whilst the laughter and the
threats came from the crowd.</p>
<p>From beneath three broad-brimmed hats there once more came three
distinct chuckles of delight and three muffled figures hugged naked
swords more tightly under their cloaks.</p>
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